Summer On The Beach

Chapter 01

(Tim's Perspective)
       Seeing Kyle crying in the hall of the school after graduation was a little unnerving. He said, "I never even liked school," but that wasn't quite accurate. Kyle loved school; he just didn't like school work. He loved seeing his friends and acquaintances every day; he loved going out to lunch with all of us; and, most of all, he loved the fact that he was SGA president and that people paid attention to him.
       "Why aren't you running for president," he asked me a few weeks before the election of his successor.
       "That's not my style, Babe. You know that," I said.
       "I know, but I wish you'd do it, Tim. It's been wonderful," he said.
       "I know it has been for you, Babe, but I'm just not made that way. I'm content to be president of the Science Club," I said.
       "Well, that's an important job, and at least you'll be on ICC. That's what really runs the school. The Inter-Club Council. Not the SGA," he said.
       We went to the new house in Destin after graduation, and there was a large crowd there. It was mostly adults, except for our immediate family of brothers. I saw people handing Kyle envelopes all night long, and there was no telling what they were giving him. I had long since figured out that Kyle came from a background that was very different from the rest of us, but, since it didn't matter one bit to him, it didn't matter to me, either. I figured it was mostly money he was getting, and I also figured every dime of it would be spent on his brothers, in one way or another.
       The party lasted about three hours, and we were both very tired when it was finally over. His parents wanted to talk to us, though. Ed and Beth Foley were staying there, but they went to bed right after the party.
       "Son, your mother and I are both so proud of you and Tim that we're about to burst," Gene said.
       "Thanks, Daddy. I'm proud of y'all, too," he said.
       "I watched you tonight getting those envelopes. I figured it was anywhere from five dollars to five hundred dollars in each one, and you looked equally happy to get every one of them. That's the way it needed to be, son. I think your mama and I raised you right in that regard," he said.
       Kyle didn't know what to say. I had seen that, too. The only criteria you had to meet to be invited that night was that you knew Kyle or the Goodsons in some way, so there was a real cross section of people.
       "This has been a long day," Kyle said.
       "Yeah, I know. Y'all go on to bed. Are y'all going to Kevin and Rick's house first thing tomorrow morning?" Gene asked.
       "Yes, sir. We'll get over there sometime," Kyle said. "I don't exactly know when, though. It depends on how late we sleep."
       "Okay. Well, good night, boys," Gene said.
       Kyle and I got up to go to bed, and they stood up, too. They kissed us goodnight on our cheeks, and Kyle and I went off to our room. It had been a hectic week, and I was glad I was exempt from finals and didn't have to get up the next morning.
       * * *
       We woke up around ten o'clock, and we made love. We had been way too tired to do that the night before, and we both liked to start the day that way, anyhow.
       We went over to Kevin and Rick's house, and they were all still in the den. People had on clothes that morning, though, because Craig and Cherie were there. Craig wouldn't have cared if we all showed up naked, but the newer guys didn't know Cherie very well. They were self-conscious.
       "So, what's going on today?" Kyle asked.
       That was really the start of a very long weekend. Memorial Day was Monday, and the New Orleans folks would be leaving on Monday to get home. It was only Thursday morning, though, and we had time to kick back and play. Kyle's graduation party for our friends was going to be that night, and the ladies had plans to shop, go out to eat, and then go to a play that night. That meant it would only be guys at the party, so we could do all the nude swimming we wanted to do.
       Rick and Kevin had insisted on taking care of all of the arrangements for the party. Kyle didn't even know what they were serving, and it was killing him.
       "Are we having meat?" he asked that morning.
       "Well, of course we are," Rick said.
       "What kind?"
       "Wait and see. In fact, I want you out of here today, Kyle. Go play with Philip. You can come back at four, when everybody else gets here," Rick said.
       "You're kicking me out of the house?" Kyle asked.
       They were teasing, of course, but Rick meant it.
       "Kyle, I've been seeing stuff about Gulf World on TV. Would you take me there?" Craig asked.
       "Sure," Kyle said. "We can go to the water park, too, if you want to."
       "Is it full of ankle-biters?" Craig asked.
       "You can probably find somebody to bite anything you want bit, Bubba," Kyle said.
       We all laughed.
       "I think he got you last, Bubba," Kevin said.
       "No shit," Craig said.
       That made us laugh, too.
       Justin, Brian, and I were going to be helping Kevin and Rick get ready for the party. Denny and Ron were both supposed to be helping friends study for a big exam on Friday. They were both exempt, but their friends weren't. Jeff, Tyler, and Chuck were working. The older guys were playing golf with my Dad, and the ladies were getting ready to go out for the day and evening. That just left Craig and Kyle with no assignments but to stay away from the house.
       Cherie came into the room, all ready to go out. Sonya was picking her up, and they were going to Rita's house in Destin. From there, who knew.
       "So, how's the graduate this morning?" Cherie asked, giving Kyle a peck on the cheek.
       "I'm fine, thanks. How are you?" he said.
       All of a sudden she grimaced.
       "What's the matter?" Kyle said, all worried.
       "He just kicked the shit out of my bladder," Cherie said.
       "For real?" Kyle demanded.
       "Yeah. Put your hand right here, and you can feel it," she said, indicating a place on her stomach.
       "Oh, my God! It's alive!" Kyle said.
       We all chuckled.
       "This is unbelievable. This is the first time I ever did this. Feel it, Tim," Kyle said, all excited.
       I felt her stomach, and I felt the baby move. Everybody else in the room had to do the same thing. It was pretty amazing.
       "What did you say his name was?" Kyle asked.
       "I told you it's a secret," she said.
       "No. I mean, just now you said, 'so-and-so's kicking the shit out of my bladder.' I just didn't catch the name," Kyle said.
       "Okay. You win. It's . . . [long pause] none of your business," she said.
       "Damn, Aunt Cherie," Kyle said.
       "If you call me that again, I'm going to be kicking your bladder," Cherie said.
       "He likes to be called Uncle Craig," Kyle said. "Don't you, unky?"
       "I'll hold him, you kick him," Craig said. "Only aim a little lower than the bladder." We all laughed.
       Sonya showed up just then. She came right in. We hadn't been able to break my dad of always ringing the doorbell, but Sonya caught on right away that she didn't have to ring or knock at that house. She kissed Kyle and me on the cheek to tell us hello. She was all dressed up, and she was really pretty. I didn't have a real good mental picture of what my mom looked like, but I didn't remember her being as pretty as Sonya was.
       "Coffee, Sonya?" Kevin asked.
       "Thanks, but we need to get going. Rita and I have planned a very busy day," she said.
       Craig kissed Cherie, and the two ladies left.
       "All right, Kyle. It's time for you and your playmate to get going, too," Rick said.
       "Okay. I need to get my suit, though. Have you got yours?" he asked Craig.
       "I didn't bring one. I didn't think I'd need one here," Craig said.
       "That's okay. I've got plenty," Kyle said.
       Kyle never wore anything but Speedo briefs. He loved his tattoo of the monkey, and he showed it off every chance he got. He had a very nice bulge, too, and he liked to show that off, as well. He had a couple of pairs of trunks, but I was sure they weren't here. He had clothes here, at his parents' house, at the condo, and at my house, and I was positive the trunks were at his parents' house. He went upstairs and came down in a few minutes with a beach bag.
       "Do you want to see if Philip and Ryan want to go with us?" Kyle asked.
       "Sure," Craig said.
       Kyle called Philip, and, yes, they wanted to go. He and Ryan were planning to spend the weekend with some friends at a condo, and then they were going to Pensacola with us on Monday. They were going to go to the condo after the party that night.
       "Have fun, guys," Kevin said.
       "Thanks. We will," Kyle said, and he and Craig went off for a day together.
       "Do you think Craig can handle those three?" Rick asked.
       "If mischief is on the agenda, Babe, the question is whether those three can handle Craig," Kevin said.
       We all laughed, and then we got busy working on the party.

(Craig's Perspective)
       If there had been any way we could have, Cherie and I would have moved to Emerald Beach. I had always loved my brother, of course, and Cherie loved him, too. Now, she and I loved Rick as much as we loved Kevin, and we were both crazy about those kids. The problem was, both sets of our parents were in New Orleans, and there was no way in hell they'd ever move. Not only that, but we had a slew of friends in New Orleans, too, friends that went back for decades. We were only in our late twenties, but it was all the people we had known for a lifetime. And I'm not just talking about our contemporaries, either. Just as the Goodsons had very deep roots in Emerald Beach, the Foleys and Cherie's family had very deep roots in New Orleans.
       The drive to Emerald Beach was only about five-and-a-half or six hours, though, and we got over there as often as we possibly could. The baby might slow us down a little at first, but maybe not. I'd heard people say it's easier to travel with a baby than it is with a toddler. At least a baby couldn't ask, 'are we there yet?' and they didn't have to stop for potty breaks.
       I was so incredibly excited about becoming a father that I could hardly stand it. Cherie had taken extremely good care of herself during her pregnancy--our pregnancy--that I knew we had nothing to worry about. The fact of the matter was, though, the baby could come out deformed and crippled, and we'd still love it like it was the only baby on earth.
       Kevin and I looked a great deal alike, and people used to think we were twins, sometimes, when we were little. Naturally, we weren't identical, and we didn't look quite so much alike as adults, but the odds were very good that the baby would resemble me, if he resembled him. But who he looked like really didn't matter. I was getting me a little boy, and that was all I cared about.
       "I didn't eat any breakfast. I'm starving," Kyle said.
       "That sounds good. I didn't have anything, either," I said.
       He whipped out his cell phone and pressed a button.
       "Meet us at the Starfish," Kyle said. I figured he had called Philip. That was all he said. No "hello," no "goodbye."
       "You and Philip are pretty close, aren't you?" I asked. He was driving.
       "Oh, yeah. We've basically been like brothers for years. I feel about him like I do about Justin," he said.
       "It's good to have close friends, isn't it?"
       "What would you do without 'em?" he replied.
       The Starfish was a smallish motel, probably vintage 1970, and not much had been done to modernize it in the meantime. There was a door into the motel lobby and a separate door close to that into the restaurant.
       "Kyle, what are you doing here? I thought you would be off celebrating," a sixty-ish lady said when we went in.
       "I'm celebrating here. This is where I celebrate," he said.
       "Go on, boy. Don't try to fool me. I know you too well. But we're always glad to have you," she said.
       "They're giving a party for me tonight, and Kevin and Rick made me leave the house so I wouldn't try to boss it," he said. "Mom Sullivan, this is my uncle, Craig Foley. Kevin's brother."
       "How do you do, Craig. I'm Susan Sullivan, and Kyle and his crowd do us the honor of having lunch here every day. Welcome, and I hope you enjoy your lunch," she said. "Who else is coming?"
       "Just Philip and Ryan," Kyle said. "In fact, here they are, right now."
       "It's fried chicken day," Susan said, with a little smile.
       "You think I don't know that?" Kyle asked. "I just hope I can choke it down."
       "Get in there and eat, before I have to wear you out, you rascal," she said.
       "Hi, Mom," Philip and Ryan said in unison. I shook hands with Philip and Ryan.
       "Hi, boys. Did you have fun last night?"
       "Yes, ma'am," they said in unison again.
       "Good. Y'all know how we do things here. Make sure Craig gets enough to eat," she said.
       "Mom, he's going to put you and Pop out of business. You hide and watch," Kyle said.
       "If you boys haven't done that in all this time, I know he's not going to," she said.
       The boys all laughed.
       I could tell that lady genuinely loved those kids, and they genuinely loved her. I knew there were places like that in New Orleans, neighborhood places where they knew you by name. The closest thing to it that I was associated with was Chubby's Pool Hall in my parents' neighborhood. Kevin and I had both misspent much of our youth in there, and Chubby knew us and cared about us. This was the same sort of thing, without the pool tables.
       "How's it hanging, Philip?" I asked by way of greeting.
       "Very limp, as a matter of fact," Philip said.
       I laughed.
       "Do tell," Kyle said.
       "Shut up, Kyle," Ryan said.
       "That good, huh?" Kyle replied.
       "Let's just say we celebrated graduation," Philip said.
       Those three guys were as funny as any three guys I had ever been around. All three were smart as hell, but they all had this "I'm dumber than you, and I can prove it" mentality. Kevin had told me about that. Those boys were three Emerald Beach natives, and I knew their families had been there a long time. They exhibited Emerald Beach local culture in its purest form, and they were hilarious.
       "You crabbing this summer?" Philip asked Kyle, once we were seated.
       "Hell, yeah. They running? I'm crabbing," Kyle said.
       "I'm buying some off you this summer," Ryan said.
       "No, you're not. You'll be getting some off me this summer, but you ain't buying 'em," Kyle said.
       "We'll see, but I want me some crabs this summer, you hear me?"
       "Philip told me you already had the crabs," Kyle said.
       "I know. I do. That's cause I've been sleeping at a Goodson hotel," Ryan said.
       "We wash those sheets every month, Ryan. You know that," Kyle said.
       "Maybe it was from your house, then," Ryan said.
       "That's more like it. We're sanitary at the hotels. Gotta be."
       "Y'all still renting by the hour?" Ryan said.
       "Just to you. They know you can't get a date for the whole night," Kyle said.
       "Oh, he burned you bad, Baby," Philip said.
       "Thank you, Philip. I hadn't noticed that my right side was in flames," Ryan said.
       We all laughed.
       "Do you guys play 'got you last?' I asked.
       "Just with them. Ryan and I say 'burned you bad,'" Philip said.
       "It's the same thing, though, right?" I asked.
       "Yeah. I think Kevin taught them 'got you last,' but we've been doing it all our lives," Philip said.
       "I know," Kyle said.
       "I'm serious about those crabs, though, Kyle," Ryan said.
       "You'll get 'em, but you ain't buying 'em," Kyle said. "I ain't selling food to one of my best friends, Ryan."
       "Thank you, Kyle. How many have you been catching?"
       "A couple of hampers a week. Probably twenty dozen," Kyle said.
       "Big ones?" Ryan asked.
       "All sizes. I throw the little ones back, though, and only keep the big ones. Trixie goes crazy over those crabs. I suspect Krewe will, too," Kyle said. "We ain't had her out there yet with them 'cause she's still too young."
       "Those are some damn good dogs. My daddy has been talking about getting Brian to train our dogs," Ryan said.
       "He and Mr. Mack charge big for that," Kyle said.
       "I know, but I think he's fixing to call Mr. Mack. He's going to want Brian to train them for obedience. I know Mr. Mack trains them to hunt. We've got us three Springers. Three from the same litter, and they're about a year old," Ryan said.
       "Inside or outside dogs?" Kyle asked.
       "Oh, outside. Definitely. We've got that little Yorkie for an inside dog, and my mama would never let the Springers get with her. I think my mom loves that Yorkie better than she loves me. She's real protective of her," Ryan said.
       "I could see how anybody would love a dog more than they love you," Kyle said.
       "Burn, Baby," Philip said.
       "Yeah, I know," Ryan said.
       Those boys had an ease about them that was remarkable. There was absolutely nothing "gay" about them, except that they were gay. Three men came into the restaurant in tank tops, and all three were muscled and very good looking. I checked them out well, and the three gay guys at the table didn't do more than glance at them.
       "Did you guys see those boys who just came in?" I asked.
       "Yeah," they said, more or less in unison.
       "You didn't check them out," I said.
       "I looked to see if I knew them, and I didn't," Kyle said. "What else was I supposed to do?"
       "Craig, just because we're gay doesn't mean we want to jump the bones of every guy who walks into a place. I looked at them. They're cute, but I don't know 'em, either. What are you thinking, man?" Philip asked.
       "I'm thinking I'm learning that what being gay is all about is very different from what I thought it was," I said.
       "I'm ready for some of that banana pudding," Kyle said. "Craig, that stuff is awesome."
       * * *
       I was stuffed from lunch. The fried chicken was cooked perfectly, but they also had some beef stew that could hold its own in a beef stew cook-off. I ate way more of it than I should have, but I couldn't resist. The mashed potatoes were freshly made, and the vegetables all looked fresh, too. The banana pudding was some of the best of its kind that I had ever tasted.
       I noticed Kyle asked for half-and-half tea, and I wasn't really sure what that meant. Philip and Ryan got water with lemon, and I got the sweet tea. In New Orleans they always serve plain tea in restaurants, and I always put sugar in mine. I figured I'd just save myself a little work. After one taste, though, I almost gagged, it was so sweet.
       "What's the matter?" Kyle asked.
       "This is the sweetest tea I've ever tasted. It's like syrup," I said.
       "I know. They make it too sweet for me, too. That's why I get half-and-half," he said.
       "What's half-and-half?" I asked.
       "Half sweet and half unsweet. That's how I like it. Bev, bring him some half-and-half, please," he said to the waitress. She just smiled, but she had a new glass of tea at the table in a few seconds. It was much better.
       We had taken seats in a section of the restaurant that had ashtrays on the tables, and I lit up after I had finished eating. Philip and Ryan did, too.
       "If everybody's smoking, I am, too," Kyle said. "Gimme one, Philip." Kyle lit a cigarette. "I owe you a pack."
       "No, you don't," Philip said.
       "I bum 'em all the time, though," Kyle said.
       "Kyle, that's exactly the second cigarette you've bummed off me in the last month," Philip said.
       "Are you smoking at home?" Kyle asked.
       "Yeah. I have been, ever since Homecoming," he said. "My brothers both do, and my parents don't mind. Well, my mom ain't crazy about it, but she doesn't say anything."
       "How old are your brothers?" I asked. I had no idea he had siblings.
       "Twenty-two and twenty," he said. "I think I was supposed to be the girl, but it didn't work out."
       I chuckled. I had known many families with three children of the same sex, and I had often thought that was the case with them, too.
       "Well, almost," Kyle said.
       We all laughed.
       "Being gay ain't the same thing as being a girl, dumbass," Philip said.
       "Oh, really, Philip? I am so glad you told me that. Why, all this time I thought . . . "
       "Shut up, Kyle," Philip said, laughing. The rest of us laughed, too.
       After lunch we went to Gulf World. All four of us rode there in Kyle's car. He stopped at a convenience store and bought a pack of cigarettes for Philip and one for himself.
       "I haven't been to this place since we went in the sixth grade," Philip said. "Do y'all remember that?"
       "Yeah, I remember that. I haven't been there since then, either," Kyle said. "I think every six years is about right."
       "You see stuff about them on TV all the time," Philip said. "They're always catching whales and dolphins and shit."
       "Yeah. It's a national marine mammals rehabilitation facility. I mean, all that most local people know about is the shows and stuff, but there's a hell of a lot more to this place than just the shows," Ryan said. "My dad knows the people who run it. He writes their insurance, in fact."
       "I think they have a day camp during the summer for little kids," Kyle said. "Craig, y'all need to send the baby here when he's old enough for this. I knew some kids who went, and they had a great time. They started it the year I was too old to go to it, too. Wouldn't you know?"
       "They have all kinds of stuff for kids. A kid can spend the night here. They have an awesome laser show, and they go to that first. Then they spend the night with the animals," Ryan said. "They help feed 'em, make their food, watch 'em at night. They have a great time with that, too."
       "What kinds of animals do they have?" I asked.
       "Okay. The main shows are dolphins in the big pool and sea lions. They put it on big, too. Let me tell you," Ryan said. "Then they have the bird show, which is pretty incredible. Then they have the stingrays and turtles and sharks and shit like that. They let you pet those things, and they are amazing."
       "We see those all the time when we're surfing," Kyle said. "You'll be on your board, looking down, and right under you are gigantic stingrays and sharks. That makes you want to stay on your board, that's for sure."
       "You can see those things from your surfboard?" I asked. I was in awe.
       "Hell, yeah," Philip said. "You wouldn't believe the sea life you see when you're on a board waiting for a wave."
       "Aren't you scared?" I asked.
       "Not really. They don't come up all that often," Kyle said. "Every now and then a shark will bump into your board, but they're not out to eat you up. That's just their world. They just do what comes natural to them."
       "Do you ever see snakes in the water?" I asked.
       "Eels sometimes, but I haven't seen too many snakes," Kyle said.
       "We did one time, remember, Ryan? There was, like, a colony of water snakes. That was sort of scary," Philip said.
       "That gives me the creeps," Kyle said.
       "I know," Philip said.
       We paid our admission to the park, which wasn't very expensive, and we went to see the attractions. Cherie and I had been coming to Emerald Beach on a regular basis for several years, and I was sorry we hadn't discovered that place long before. The shows were funny, spectacular, and amazing. The grounds of the place were beautiful, and the whole thing was perfectly landscaped. It wasn't on the scale of Sea World in San Diego, which Cherie and I had visited once, but it was very much like that in concept.
       "That place was fabulous," I said. We were in a diner-coffee shop kind of place, getting a mid-afternoon snack. "Why haven't you taken us there before?"
       "To tell you the truth, I never think about coming here. I pass it all the time, but we never come. I don't think Tim and Justin and Brian have ever even been here, and I know Denny and Ron haven't been. We need to do some local attractions with those boys," Kyle said.
       "Have you ever been to ZooWorld?" Philip asked.
       "I've heard of it, but I've never been there," Kyle said.
       "Is that related to Gulf World?" I asked.
       "No, sir, it's a whole different thing," Philip said.
       I noted the "sir," but I didn't say anything about that. I knew they said "sir" to Kevin and Rick all the time because that was the way they had been raised, and, frankly, it was kind of nice.
       "It's a zoo and a botanical garden, all in one. Gulf World is sort of like a botanical garden, too, but ZooWorld is different. Gulf World saves mammals from the sea, but ZooWorld tends to specialize in breeding endangered species. They have something like fifteen endangered species they've been breeding. They have this special nursery where you can see the endangered babies they've bred," Philip said.
       "What kind of animals do they have?" I asked.
       "Lions, tigers, monkeys, alligators, camels, giraffes, snakes, exotic birds, orangutans, jaguars. You name it," Philip said.
       "Do y'all want to go see it?" I asked.
       "Not today. I had enough animals for one day. Plus, I want to go with Tim and the others. Next time, okay?" Kyle said.
       "Brian's going to shit his pants when he sees it. That boy's going to be a veterinarian, mark my words," Philip said.
       "He says not, Philip. He says he wants to be a human doctor," Kyle said.
       "He can't become a veterinarian at Tulane," I said. "He'd have to go to some place like LSU in Baton Rouge, to do that."
       "And see, he ain't doing that. That would mean Justin would have to move to Baton Rouge, too, and that's never going to happen," Kyle said. "Not with us in New Orleans. Besides, being a doctor for humans ain't all that bad, you know? At least they can talk to you and tell you what hurts."
       "Don't tell my mother that," I said.
       They laughed.
       "Yeah, I guess a lot of hers can't talk yet," Kyle said. "Is she going to be the baby's doctor?"
       "No. She won't do it," I said. "We've already talked about it."
       "Well, that sucks," Kyle said. "Although I don't think I'd want my grandma looking at my wee-wee, either."
       "Give her a magnifying glass, Kyle," Philip said.
       "Fuck you, Andrews. I'll measure up against you any day, boy," Kyle said.
       "I know. We've already done it, remember? More than once. I'm teasing you, asshole."
       "I know," Kyle said. "And I burned you bad on that one, too, son."
       We all laughed.
       The next stop was the water park, Ship Wreck Island. It looked huge from the entrance, and it was huge, once we were inside. It was a Thursday before school was out for the summer in most places, but there were quite a few people there.
       We went into the shower house/changing facility to get into our swim suits. I had seen those boys naked a bunch of times, so it was no big deal for them or me. We only rented one locker because that was really all we needed.
       I took off my clothes and put them in the locker. I was naked as a jaybird, and the boys were pulling up their suits.
       "Kyle, where's my suit?" I asked.
       "Oh, shit, Craig. I forgot to get you one, man. I'm so sorry," he said.
       "Cut the shit, Kyle. Give me the fucking suit," I said.
       "Craig, I don't have it."
       "Fine. Give me the key, and I'll go for a ride or something," I said.
       "Shit! Fuck! I locked the damn locker key in the locker. I put it in my pocket after I opened the locker, out of force of habit, and it's in my shorts," Philip said.
       "Yeah, and my car keys are locked in there with it," Kyle said.
       I knew this was some kind of joke, but they were so serious. How could it be a joke?
       "You guys are very good actors. Give me the fucking suit," I said. I was pissed, and I knew it showed in my voice. And, of course, I was standing there stark naked.
       "Get it out of the locker," Ryan said. "It ain't locked."
       I tried the handle, and it opened. Shit, I thought. They have gotten me last. Goddamn it!
       "Is there anything you'd like to say?" Kyle asked.
       He said that so innocently that I just had to laugh.
       "Yeah, you got me last," I said.
       "We thought so," Ryan said.
       We all laughed at that.
       But the last laugh was on me, too. The swim suit Kyle had brought for me was a white Speedo brief. He was wearing a bright red one, and I thought I had seen postage stamps that were larger than his. Mine, at least, was bigger, but the color left nothing to the imagination.
       "That right there looks good," Kyle said. He reached out his hand toward my crotch.
       "Don't you touch me, Kyle," I said.
       "What's the matter? Are you're afraid you'll bone up?" Kyle asked.
       I was speechless. That was exactly what I was afraid of, and I knew he knew it.
       "You're not that much different than us, are you?"
       "No, I'm not. I've never not admitted that, Kyle. You know that," I said.
       "I know. I just wish more straight boys could admit that, Craig. I think the world would be a better place, if they did," he said.
       "You got that right, Bubba."
       That park was incredible. They had several levels of rides. The first ones we went to were the Thrill Rides: Tree Top Drop, Raging Rapids, and Pirate's Plunge. They were extremely high, and the rush going down took my breath away.
       "These are the ones I like," Kyle said.
       We did the trio a second time. The lines were very small, which I attributed to the day of the week and the time of year. The second go wasn't quite as exciting, although Kyle, Philip, and Ryan did them head first instead of feet first. That probably added to the excitement. I did the third one that way, and it was much scarier and much more of a rush than feet-first had been.
       We did White Knuckle River, the Zoom Flume, and the Great Shipwreck, and those were almost as good as the Thrill Rides. They were supposed to be "family rides," but they were pretty intense. We didn't do any of the other family rides or the kid things, though.
       "What time is it?" Kyle asked.
       "It's 3:30. What the hell do you care?" Philip said.
       "What do I care? My party starts at four, that's what I care. I've got to be home in thirty minutes. Let's go."
       "Shit," Philip said.
       We hustled our asses back to the changing room, and we got back into our clothes.
       "What's this all about?" Philip asked. He was rubbing Kyle's cheek.
       "Get off of me, Philip," Kyle said adamantly.
       "You didn't shave this morning, did you?"
       "No. Shit! I forgot. That's just too damn bad, though. I gotta be there when they start coming," he said.
       "I know. You ain't going to have time to shave. It don't look that bad. Really, Kyle," Philip said.
       "Look bad or not, that's the way it's going to be," Kyle said.
       "I think it looks good, Kyle. Very manly," Ryan said.
       I agreed with Ryan. Kyle's beard was pitch black, and it was thick and heavy. It didn't matter how closely he shaved, you could always see it. He had quite a bit of hair on his chest, too.
       We took very quick showers at the water park, and we were on our way.
       "Drop us off so we can get my car," Philip said.
       Kyle swung by the Starfish to drop them off.
       "Kyle, this has been a great day," I said.
       "I know. Those guys are fun, aren't they?"
       "All of you are fun," I said. "Thanks, man."

Chapter 02

(Jeff's Perspective)
       I first got interested in blogging when I was still at the University of Florida before Clay died. I had gone to a workshop given by the GLBT Student Union on gay resources on the Internet, and one of the sessions was on blogs and blogging. It isn't a "gay thing" necessarily, but a number of bloggers are gay men. It was just one more way to help create a gay community on the Web.
       I kept my blog intermittently before I moved to Emerald Beach. During some periods, I wrote every day, even several times a day. At other times, I'd go two or three weeks without posting an entry. After Clay died, I was in no condition to write. When I moved into Kevin and Rick's house, though, the urge returned.
       "Do you guys know what a blog is?" I asked Kevin and Rick one day.
       "No. What is it?" Rick asked.
       "The word 'blog' is short for Weblog, and a Weblog is a kind of journal that a person would write on the Web. It's just kind of a day-to-day record of what happens to you and to the people around you," I said. "They usually have lots of links to news and other blogs and interesting stuff."
       "Who reads them?" Kevin asked.
       "Just anybody who wants to. Some are pretty fascinating, and you really get to know the writer well," I said.
       "I'll have to check that out," Kevin said.
       "The reason I asked you about it is I've kept one off and on for over a year," I said. "I'd like to start back."
       "Cool," Rick said.
       "Would you mind if I did that?" I asked. "I'd be writing a good bit about this family."
       They both kind of shrugged.
       "This is a pretty amazing group of people, you know? I'd like to tell the world about us," I said.
       "Would you use real names?" Rick asked.
       "Well, not last names, but yeah, if that's all right. Real first names," I said. "You guys would be 'out' to the world."
       "Can you take it down any time you want to?" Kevin asked.
       "Oh, sure," I said.
       "Do a few and let us see them," Rick said.
       I got back into the blog business that night. I still had my site up and running, so I wrote the history of my transition from being Clay's partner to being single again and in Emerald Beach. That took me several entries to complete, and then I just started talking about the day-to-day events of our lives. When Kevin and Rick looked at it, they said they didn't think it would hurt for me to continue to use real first names and real places. They actually complimented my writing skills, and that made me pretty proud.
       The first payoff of that was those boys from Kentucky that we met when they were here for Spring Break. Shortly after that, though, something pretty wonderful and amazing happened.
       I had a place for comments on each entry, of course, just like every other blogger has, and I got a comment from a guy named Josh. He included his email address, so I wrote to him.

       Hi, Josh,
               Thanks for the nice comment, man. It is really great living in a totally gay family, especially since my own family has basically disowned me because I'm gay. If you've read my blog for a while, you know that my first partner died awhile back, and these guys have healed me of the depression I suffered after his death. I won't ever be able to get him back, of course, but at least now I belong somewhere. And I've got another serious boyfriend, too, and he and I are very much in love.
                                                                           Jeff

       A couple of days later he wrote back to me.

       Hi, Jeff,
               It looks like we have at least three things in common: one, my last name is 'Martin,' too. Two, I'm also from Florida--Ft. Lauderdale. Three, my family disowned me, also. Not only that, but I have a brother named Jeff. He's straight, though. Those are really some coincidences, don't you think? Take care.
                                                   Josh

       When I read that, I gasped for breath. I couldn't believe it. It was absolutely uncanny. I thought I had found my brother.

       Dear Josh,
               I almost fell off my chair when I read your email just now. My parents are Fred and Linda Martin. They live at 4573 Balboa Dr., Ft. Lauderdale, FL. I have a gay brother named Josh Martin, and I think you're him. If you are my brother, call me at 945-555-6969. That's my cell phone. Please be my brother! Please!
                                                   Love, Jeff

       "Hi, Babe. What's going on?" Tyler asked. He had just come home from work. It was a Friday afternoon in mid-May.
       "I think I just found my brother," I said.
       "What?"
       "A guy named Josh Martin, who is from Ft. Lauderdale and whose parents disowned him and who has a brother named Jeff, commented on my blog. I wrote back to him. Here, read these," I said.
       He read the emails.
       "This is unbelievable," Ty said. "Oh, dear God, please let it be our Josh."
       I half expected the phone to ring immediately, but it didn't. I kept my cell phone on me, though, so I'd get his call when it came. The phone rang.
       "Hello," I said, almost shouting. I was a little breathless.
       "Hey, what's up?" It was Kyle.
       "Oh, it's you," I said.
       "Yeah, it's me. What's wrong with you? Why are you talking so loud?" he asked.
       "Sorry, Bubba," I said.
       "That's okay. Are y'all coming over tonight? I'm about to order pizza, and I want to make sure we get enough for you and Ty, if you are," he said.
       "Yeah, we'll be there in a few minutes," I said.
       "Okay. We'll see you then," he said, and he hung up.
       I printed out the email exchange between me and Josh to take with us to Kevin and Rick's house. I was so nervous and excited that I was trembling. I couldn't believe what was going on, but deep inside I knew I had found my brother.
       After we got to Kevin and Rick's, we helped ourselves to pizza.
       "Jeff, what's the matter, Bubba?" Kevin asked. "You seem upset."
       "I'm not upset, Kevin. I think I found my brother," I said.
       I told them the story of what had happened, and then I let all of them read the four emails.
       "I've heard of stuff like this happening before," Tim said. "Jeff, tell us what happened to your brother. I never did get the story on that."
       They all wanted to know what had happened.
       "When I was in the ninth grade and my brother was in the eleventh grade, my parents found out he was gay. Is gay. He had a boyfriend, and the boyfriend told his parents about them. The other guy's parents were furious, and they thought Josh had made their son turn gay. They came over to our house and confronted my parents about it.
       "It didn't go well. My dad got furious after they left, and he demanded that my brother tell him the truth. My brother was angry, too, so he did. He came out to them right in front of me. I'll never forget that night. I had never seen my parents fight, but they did that night. Argue, really, not physical fighting. They never did that. They screamed at each other, and my dad screamed at Josh. He told Josh he was never to see Emmett again--Emmett was the boyfriend--and Josh bowed up and said my dad couldn't stop them from seeing each other. It was a really ugly scene.
       "Nobody spoke in the house for over a week after that. My dad was totally contemptuous of Josh and wouldn't even look at him. Josh was angry constantly. When I tried to talk to him and tell him I loved him, he pushed me away. My mom was a basket case and cried a lot of the time. It was terrible.
       "We had moved to Lauderdale from New Jersey because of my dad's job. Our grandparents and two of my dad's sisters still lived in New Jersey, and he made arrangements for Josh to go live with them. Our two aunts weren't married, and they still lived with our grandparents. My parents bought him a plane ticket and called a cab to take him to the airport. They really didn't even say goodbye.
       "I wasn't allowed to call Josh or to write to him. It was as though he stopped existing, as far as my parents were concerned. At first, my mom cried all the time, but, eventually, she got used to the idea, I guess. I heard them arguing about it several times, but my dad remained adamant. Josh could never come home, and I was to have no contact with him at all.
       "After a while, things got back to normal at home. My mom perked up, and she didn't cry anymore. Gradually, we started leading our lives as though Joshua Frederick Martin didn't exist. I didn't have a brother anymore. I was an only child."
       "How long ago was that, Jeff?" Kevin asked.
       "Eight years, more or less. I'm twenty-two now, and I was fourteen when it happened," I said.
       "Were you guys close?" Kyle asked.
       "Not as close as you and Clay were, that's for sure," I said. "But I looked up to him and loved him."
       "I sometimes wonder how close Clay and I really were," Kyle said.
       "Kyle, Clay was devastated when you got so upset because he hadn't told you he was gay. He and I had several long talks about the fact that he felt as though he had betrayed you over that. I know you guys made it okay that night at Kevin and Rick's house, but I'm so sorry he didn't have more time to let you know how he felt about you, Bubba," I said. "He loved you, Kyle. I think he loved you as much as he loved me."
       Kyle started crying, and he excused himself. Tim went off with him.
       "Kyle needed to hear that, Jeff," Kevin said. "Thank you."
       "Have you ever tried to get in touch with Josh?" Brian asked.
       "Once since I've been here. Do you remember the night we went out to eat at the fancy restaurant in New Orleans, and we stopped at a drugstore to get me some medicine?" I asked.
       The ones who had been there said they did.
       "When we got home to Beth and Ed's house, Beth took me into the kitchen to talk. I called my mom that night to see if she knew how to get in touch with Josh. She and I spent most of the time on the phone crying, but she gave me a number. I tried it, but it had been disconnected," I said.
       "Do you know where this Josh you've been writing to lives?" Brian asked.
       "No, I don't," I said.
       "Let me see those emails," Brian said.
       He got up and went into the study. We all sort of looked at each other, wondering what he was up to. Trixie and Krewe followed him, of course.
       He was back in a few minutes.
       "Jeff, come here," Brian said.
       "What is it?" I asked.
       "The guy you've been writing to lives in Bloomington, Indiana. I got the homepage of his ISP, and he has a personal Web site. Come and see these pictures," Brian said.
       Everybody in that room was on their feet in an instant, and we charged into the study. There on the monitor was a picture of my brother and another guy. The caption said, "Me and My Sweetie."
       "That's him," I shouted. "That's my brother!"
       I clicked around, and there were a bunch more pictures of him. There was even a picture of him and me that had been taken when he was about twelve and I was about ten. Tears were flooding down my face.
       "He's a good looking guy, and so is his boyfriend," Rick said.
       The site hadn't been updated in over a year, so I wondered if they were still even together.
       "He has a blog, too," I said. "No wonder he found mine. We belong to several of the same Web Rings for bloggers."
       Kyle and Tim came in just then.
       "Kyle, it's really my brother," I said. "This is a picture of him."
       "Cool. Which one?"
       "The one on the left," I said.
       "He looks a lot like you, Bubba. I'm so excited for you. Let's call him," he said.
       "I wish I could. I don't know his number, though," I said.
       "Did you try information? You know where he lives, don't you?" Kyle said.
       "Yeah! Now I do, thanks to Brian."
       I whipped out my cell phone and dialed long distance information. I asked for his number. The recording told me what it was, and I wrote it down.
       "How lucky is that?" Ty asked. "I almost never get real numbers from information."
       "I know," I said. "Should I call the number?"
       "Of course, call the number," Kevin said. "Do you want us to leave?"
       "No! I want all of you here," I said.
       I dialed the number, and a guy answered on the third ring.
       "Hello," he said. It wasn't Josh, so I figured it was his boyfriend.
       "Hello. May I speak with Josh Martin, please."
       "Look, we're not supposed to get junk phone calls. Who are you? I'm reporting you to the Indiana Attorney General. We pay for junk-call protection, and you're in trouble, mister," he said.
       "This isn't a junk call. I'm Josh's brother," I said.
       "Jeff? Is this Jeff?"
       "Yeah," I said.
       "Oh, let me get him. Josh," he screamed. There was excitement in his voice. "It's your brother, Baby."
       "What?" I heard Josh say.
       "It's Jeff," the guy said. He was obviously excited.
       "Hello," Josh said. I would recognize that voice anywhere.
       "Josh, it's me. Jeff," I said.
       There was a very long pause.
       "Are you there?" I asked.
       "Yeah, I'm here. I'm a little overwhelmed right now, is all," he said.
       "Me, too. Did you get my email? The one I sent today?"
       "No. I haven't checked yet tonight. I can't believe this," he said.
       "Believe it, brother. It's really me," I said.
       We both got pretty emotional. I was crying, and I thought Josh was, too. It was like an answer to my prayers.
       The guys started leaving one by one to give me privacy. Josh and I had eight years to catch up on, and we had a lot of unresolved feelings about our parents to explore. After about forty-five minutes, the battery in my cell phone crapped out, so I called him on the house phone. We ended up talking for over two hours, and we had just begun to scratch the surface.

(Kevin's Perspective)
       Just when I thought we had everything sorted out, Jeff discovered his brother. Rick and I were elated that the two of them had made contact, and we knew that Josh, and his partner, Patrick, would become members of our family, too.
       "I feel a need to get some focus on what we're doing," Rick said one day.
       "What do you mean, Babe?" I asked.
       "I don't know. I mean, we've got all these guys we're sort of responsible for, you know? Ron's going to be out of here in a couple of weeks, but we still have Brian and Denny. We're their foster parents. But we've got the older guys, too. You and I are twenty-seven. How can we be the parents of eighteen-year-olds? Justin and Kyle? And, for that matter, of Jeff and Tyler and Chuck at twenty-two, and of Josh and Patrick at twenty-four?"
       "This thing has gotten out of hand, hasn't it?" I said.
       "No, it hasn't. I just need some guidance about how we're supposed to treat them," he said. "These are real human beings, Kevin. Are we giving them what they need? Or are we fucking them up?"
       "Where do we turn for help?" I asked.
       "I don't know. Are we giving them what they need?" he asked.
       "This is bothering you, isn't it?" I said.
       "Look at how many see us as their parents. I mean, I know Kyle and Tim have parents, but their parents trust us a whole lot. They expect us to be parents to those two. The rest of them don't really have parents besides us: Justin, Brian, Denny, Ron. Jeff thinks of us as parents, and so does Ty. Chuck, too. Shit, Chuck is close to being the most needy of all of them right now. And what about Chip and Brady?" Rick asked.
       "I don't think Chip really thinks of us as parents," I said.
       "No, you're probably right. Not him. But all the rest of them do," Rick said.
       I thought for a moment.
       "Do you think we need to get some help?" I asked.
       "Yes, I do, Kevin. I need help, even if you don't. But where do I get it?" I asked.
       "Let's try Tyrone Williams," I said.
       "Good idea."
       I called Tyrone the next day and told him what we needed and wanted. He was eager to help, but he wanted to come out to see us, rather than have us go see him.
       "I'm in a cubicle, and you can't have a private conversation in this place," he had said. "I'll be at your office at eleven o'clock."
       "So, what's up?" he asked, after we were settled in my office to talk.
       I explained our concerns, with several elaborations from Rick. Tyrone thought for several minutes before he responded.
       "The thing is, guys, y'all are doing a service that you would not believe," he said.
       "What do you mean?" Rick asked.
       "Well, Rick, look at your population. First of all, they're adolescents. Everybody wants three-year-olds. They don't want thirteen-year-olds. That's the bottom line. Second, most foster families think of foster care as an income supplement. Most of our foster parents are low income, and they need the money those kids bring in. The ones who don't want the extra income are doing it for religious reasons, so they can convert the kids to whatever holy-roller church they belong to. And they can usually use the extra income, too. Third, you guys are dealing with gay kids. And they're not just random gay kids. Most of them are in foster care because they are gay. I've told you guys over and over again how lucky I am to have a family like yours to place gay kids in, and I've meant that every time I've said it. Y'all are doing a fantastic job with those kids. What's the problem?" he asked.
       "When you say it like that, I guess there really isn't a problem. I've just felt that we've turned over so many of our parenting responsibilities to the older boys. You know who Kyle Goodson is. He just seems to take over, Tyrone. His personality is so incredibly strong that he just seems to take over," Rick said.
       "Has he done anything important that you disagree with?" Tyrone asked.
       "No, not at all," Rick said.
       "Then all I can say is, so what, Rick?"
       "But a lot of times, Kyle steps in before we can, and the boys listen to him," Rick said.
       "And why is this a problem?" Tyrone asked. "Unless he's leading them astray."
       "Well, it's not, but . . . "
       "Listen here, guys. You are both only twenty-seven years old. In the natural order of things, you would never be the parents of fourteen- and fifteen- and sixteen-year-old boys. I know you have responsible jobs and all of that, and I know you're both very mature. But there are a lot of people here in Emerald Beach who would think of you both as boys yourselves, because of your age," he said. "I see you both more as older brothers than as parents to these guys."
       "That's the way we've approached it, Tyrone. We didn't really know how to be parents when we got Tim. He was so easy, and all the other boys have been easy, too. But I think we're both feeling that we aren't giving them what they need," I said.
       "That Justin Davis wouldn't have been easy anywhere but here," he said.
       "Yeah, but he was easy here. Mainly because of Kyle and Tim," I said.
       "Are these boys happy?" he asked.
       "Yes," Rick said. "They're very happy."
       "Are these boys getting into trouble at school or in the community?"
       "No, you know they're not," I said.
       "Are these boys doing well in school?" Tyrone asked.
       "Yeah, they're doing very well. Brian was in the State Science Fair, and he's going to the International Fair in Houston later this summer," Rick said. "Denny's on the debate team, and he's working on the school literary magazine. He even won a writing contest."
       "Have you ever heard the expression, 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it'?"
       "You think that's what's going on here?" Rick asked.
       "No, Rick. I don't think that. I know that's what's going on here. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, and this home ain't broke, boys," Tyrone said.
       "So, you think we're doing okay?" Rick asked.
       "Kevin, would you take him out there and kick his ass for me, for not listening?" Tyrone said.
       We all laughed.
       "I'm just trying to do the right thing by the kids," Rick said.
       "If you don't shut up, I'm putting your ass in foster care, with Kyle in charge," Tyrone said.
       Rick and I both laughed hard.
       "We call Kyle 'Little Rick' sometimes, Tyrone," I said.
       "Oh, so that would be a fitting punishment for him, right?" Tyrone asked.
       We all laughed again.
       "Tyrone, it's time for lunch. Will you have lunch with us?" I asked.
       "Yes, I will, as your guest, for dragging my ass west of that damn bridge just to tell y'all that y'all are doing a good job," Tyrone said.
       We all laughed.

(Tyler's Perspective)
       My enlistment in the Coast Guard was up on 31 May, but I had enough leave to be out of there on 30 April. The first session of summer school started at ECCC on 5 May, and I registered for two courses for that session. I really just needed the two sessions of summer school to get my AA degree. I had done a full year in Minnesota, and I had taken courses all along since I was in Emerald Beach, so I was in good shape. I would be able to start at the local campus of FSU in the fall.
       I had never been happier in my life than I was right then. Jeff and I were totally in love with each other, and we both knew it was forever between us. Accepting the fact that I was gay hadn't been easy for me, and I had wrestled with it for a long time. Since I was about thirteen, in fact. Once I met him, though, I was happy I was gay. I couldn't imagine my life without Jeff.
       "Josh and Patrick want to come visit this summer," Jeff said.
       "Cool," I said.
       I knew Jeff was eager to see Josh again, and I was eager to meet him, too. Patrick was kind of a wildcard, but he was obviously somebody we had to care about, since Josh did.
       "You're scared of meeting Josh, aren't you?" Jeff asked me.
       "No, I'm not scared. Why would I be scared?" I asked.
       He laughed.
       "It's okay to be scared. Don't you think I was scared about meeting your parents? And your brother?" Jeff said.
       "I didn't think about that," I said. "I guess you must have been."
       "I was, but that's okay that you didn't think of it. It all worked out great, and this is all going to work out great, too," I said. "It's not just going to be us. It's going to be the whole damn family Josh is meeting. Those guys love you, Ty. If anybody should be sweating their balls over their visit, it should be Josh and Patrick. They're coming into a big-ass, very-well-connected family, man. I forbid you to be scared."
       I laughed.
       "Thanks, Kyle," I said.
       "That did sound a lot like him, didn't it?" he said.
       "Yeah, it did," I said. "He's amazing, isn't he?"
       Jeff was quiet for a few moments.
       "You know Kyle saved my life, don't you?"
       Then it was my turn to be quiet. I knew Jeff thought Kyle had saved him, and I knew he loved Kyle as much as he loved anybody, maybe even me.
       "He's a remarkable guy, Ty. And I love him very, very much," Jeff said.

(Kyle's Perspective)
       My graduation week was unbelievable. I had so much fun.
       Thursday, Craig and I, plus Philip and Ryan, got to spend almost the whole day together. We went to Gulf World, which was great, but then we went to Ship Wreck Island. We had a wonderful time on all those water "rides." They weren't really rides. They were more like slides and stuff like that, and I had a blast. Me and Philip and Ryan had been there a bunch of times, but that was a first for Craig.
       "I can't believe you put me in this little white Speedo," Craig said.
       "Do you want to wear mine? I'll swap with you," I said.
       "Shit, no. That one is even smaller than mine," he said.
       "What the hell are you whining about? You're a grower, anyway, man. Nobody is going to notice you," I said.
       He wasn't really a grower. He was a shower, and you could see the outline of that dick and those balls very plainly through that suit. I had given him a white one on purpose for just such as that.
       "Kyle, I feel like I'm naked," he said.
       "But you ain't, Bubba. Grow up," I said.
       "Fuck it," he finally said. "I guess this will have to do."
       That night my brothers gave me a party. It was the usual crowd, plus my dad, Tim's dad, Grandpa, and Craig, and we had a good time.
       My parents had told me several weeks before graduation they wanted to get me something real nice as a graduation present, but I really didn't need anything or want anything.
       "What about a new car?" my dad had asked.
       That sort of perked me up.
       "Like what?" I asked.
       "Well, everybody seems to like those SUV's. A man showed me his new Toyota Sienna the other day, and that was a fine looking piece of machinery," he said. "Hell, son, I wouldn't mind having one of those for myself."
       "Would it be a lease?" I asked.
       "Yeah. Or would you rather have a Jeep? I know how much you love Tim's," he said.
       "I do love his, but I drive it often enough to satisfy that need," I said. "It really ain't all that practical for hauling folks, you know?"
       "That Sienna seats seven. That's two more than your Mazda. You could also haul quite a bit of junk with the two banks of back seats folded down. I'll tell you, Kyle, I'm not a car expert, by any means, but that thing really looked nice to me the other day. Why don't you get some of your boys to go look at one and see if you like it," he said.
       Tim, Justin, Brian, and I went to look at a Sienna, and it was as cool as my dad had said it was. But cool to him wasn't necessarily cool to me. It didn't come with four-wheel drive, for one thing, and it looked more like a van than an SUV. The man showed us a Land Cruiser, though, and that's what I decided I wanted.
       "Look at the sticker price on this mother," Jus said.
       "Yeah, but boys, nobody pays the sticker price," the salesman said. "Who's this going to be for?"
       "For me, if I get it," I said. "It's going to be a graduation present from my parents."
       "What did you say your name was?" he asked.
       "Kyle. Kyle Goodson," I said.
       "Any relation to Gene Goodson?" he asked.
       "Yes, sir. He's my daddy," I said.
       "I see," the man said.
       "Do you know him?" I asked.
       "Not personally, but I certainly know who he is," he said.
       "Can you get this on a lease? That's the only way he gets cars. Through his business," I said.
       "Sure you can," he said. "How many cars does your daddy lease, Carl?"
       "Kyle, not Carl," I said. "Tell you the truth, I don't really know, but it's quite a few."
       "Oh, sorry. Kyle, I meant. Has he ever leased Toyotas before?" he asked.
       "No, sir. I think this would be the first one. You never can tell, though. This might start a new trend," I said.
       Kevin always said our family has more resources than most families and we ought to use them when we can. If that guy thought my daddy's business might want to get into a Toyota fleet, he just might be able to sharpen his pencil a little more than usual.
       "We'd sure be happy to do business with him," he said.
       I took the Land Cruiser for a test drive, and that thing was a dream. It had more gimmicks and gadgets in it than a Leer jet, and the stereo was out of this world. There were eight speakers. We all took turns driving it, too, and every one of them said the same thing about how good it handled.
       All four of us drove to Destin after we turned it in to talk to my dad.
       "Daddy, that Sienna was real nice, but it's more of a van than an SUV, don't you think?" I said.
       "You didn't like the shape of it?" he asked.
       "I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful, Daddy, because it's a beautiful vehicle. You can't get it with four-wheel drive, though, and we're going to need that, especially when we go up to North Carolina," I said.
       "I didn't know that. I agree about wanting four-wheel drive, though," he said. "Did you see anything else you liked?"
       "Yes, sir. I saw a Land Cruiser, and, Daddy, it's a real honey. But you know what, Daddy? The bottom line is, I don't really need a new car," I said.
       "I know you don't, son, but your mama and I want to do something special for you. Let us spoil you a little, son, okay?" he said.
       "I'll let you spoil me," Justin said.
       We all laughed.
       "Brian, how do you put up with him?" Dad asked.
       "Mostly I ignore him," Brian said.
       We chuckled.
       "By the way, son. Mack Mixon thinks you invented dog training. He told me he thought it was a waste of your time to go to college and medical school," he said.
       We all laughed, and Brian damn sure blushed.
       "Let me ride over there and look at it," Daddy said. "What's the sticker on this thing, anyway?"
       I told him, and he whistled softly.
       "That's what we pay for your mama's cars, Kyle," he said.
       "Daddy, if that's too much, I understand, and like I said before, I don't really need a new car. Mine's got, like, 40,000 miles on it, and it'll be good for a long time to come," I said.
       "Yeah, but you're getting a new car, and that really ain't too much. Besides, I think I can talk to the man. Who knows? If this works out, I might just switch to Toyotas for all the cars we lease," he said.
       I grinned. That's exactly what I thought.
       "Daddy, one thing I've been thinking about," I said.
       "What?"
       "I know you'll want to trade my car, but do you think there's any way I could keep it for the summer?" I asked.
       "No, we want this to be your graduation present, Kyle. It won't seem like that if you wait till September to get it," he said.
       "No, sir. That's not what I mean. I mean, go ahead and get the new one, but keep the old one, too," I said.
       "What do you need two cars for?" he asked. "Y'all got Justin's truck. I mean, I have a car and a truck, but y'all got that covered."
       "Yes, sir, I know, but we're probably going to have some boys staying with Kevin and Rick this summer. Just for the summer. They're going to need transportation," I said.
       "Like who?"
       "Like Tim's cousin Paddy, for one. You met him. The guy from Boston? He's coming for the summer, Daddy. And different ones will be in and out. Most of them will have transportation, but Chris and David won't. And Paddy won't. We're going to need an extra car. I'm telling you," I said.
       "Now you're asking me to spoil you, Kyle," he said. He was smiling, though.
       "Yeah, I reckon I am, but . . .," I said.
       "Hell, it's only money. You can keep it for the summer, but not after they all go home, you hear?" he said.
       "Yes, sir. Thank you, Daddy. You won't be sorry."
       "Kyle, boy, you got balls the size of watermelons," Justin said, once we were in the car on the way home.
       "What are you talking about?" I demanded.
       "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Getting him to let you keep this car on top of a new one. I ain't believing it," he said.
       "I'm glad you thought of that, Kyle," Tim said. "We are going to need extra cars this summer."
       "I know. That's why I did it," I said. "Who all's coming this summer, anyway?"
       "Paddy's going to be here the whole summer, just like you said," Tim said. "Are Chris and David coming?"
       "Yeah, but just for two weeks, I think. Chris wants to spend the whole summer here, but he's got a girlfriend and all, you know? Plus, he can't lay off therapy for that long. Yet, anyhow. He'll get to that point someday, though," I said.
       "Can he drive?" Brian asked.
       "Hell, yeah, he drives. He doesn't have a car yet, but he's saving for one," I said. "I think he's going to get it for Christmas. He thinks his parents will spring for half of it, if he saves up the other half."
       "Is he working?" Brian asked.
       "Yeah, he's working, Bri. Or will be this summer, anyway. He's going to be a physical therapy aide or something. He just found out about that. Don't you guys write to each other?" I asked.
       "Yeah, but not every week or anything," Bri said. "When are they coming?"
       "They want to be here for Justin's birthday, so the last week of June and the first week of July. They have to go see Chris's grandparents when they leave here," I said.
       "Cool," Bri said.
       "Who else is coming?" Tim asked.
       "Seth and Curt are, but just for a long weekend," I said. "Fourth of July, too."
       "So, what are we going to do about the baby?" Jus asked.
       "What do you mean, do about the baby?" I asked.
       "Well, ain't we going there when he's born?" he asked.
       "I'd like to," I said.
       "Kyle, my dad and Sonya and I were talking about that. They think we should give them a couple of weeks before we charge over there," Tim said. "They said they think they need to get used to having him and get settled down a little bit before we go."
       "Yeah, I guess he won't really be a toy, will he?" I said. "Damn. This secret shit about the name is driving me crazy. What's Cherie's daddy's name?"
       "I think she said it was Robert," Brian said. "Are you thinking they're going to name him that?"
       "They might. Robert Edward or Edward Robert. Something like that," I said. "Of course, I'm holding out for Kyle."
       They laughed.
       "Yeah, you would. That would be too confusing," Jus said.
       "Not to me. I'd be Kyle; he'd be Little Kyle, just like Little Kyle Broman, from North Carolina," I said.
       "I thought the Bromans live in Chicago," Brian said.
       "Yeah, they do, but we met them in North Carolina. Speaking of that, would y'all like a long weekend up there? I don't think we're getting much of a vacation this summer," I said.
       "Hell, yeah. I love it there," Jus said. "I could cheerfully live there."
       "I know. Me, too. Would y'all mind if we took Philip and Ryan with us?" I asked.
       "Hell, no. We could take Gage and Chad, too," Justin said. "There's plenty of room up there and in your new car, too."
       "That's a good plan," I said.
       I picked up my new car early Friday morning after I graduated. To me, there's no better smell than the smell of a new car. I had no idea what my daddy had worked out about the price, and I knew he wouldn't tell me if I asked. I drove that thing home happy and proud.

Chapter 03

(Philip's Perspective)
       I tried to remember a time when Kyle Goodson was not my friend, and I couldn't do it. Everything I saw in my past life included Kyle. I was in love with him for a long time, but I thought there was no way he was gay. Hell, I didn't even know that's what I was. I never said anything to him about how I felt, though, because at eleven and twelve, I didn't really know it was love. Then we went through a time when we didn't really do that much together. We never had a fight or a falling out, or anything like that. We just got interested in different things, I guess. We made different friends, too. I still thought about Kyle all the time, but I thought about other people, too. Like Ryan.
       Kyle and I had known Ryan all our lives. Our parents all knew each other, and we'd see each other at family parties and picnics and such. Ryan went to a different elementary school than Kyle and I did, so we didn't see him every day. We all went to the same middle school, though, and that's when the three of us really hooked up as friends.
       Ryan had been a Cub Scout since he was eight years old. Kyle and I had been Cubs that long, too, but we were in a different Pack than Ryan. In middle school, Ryan joined our Boy Scout troop, though, and that's when we all got to be really good friends.
       Kyle lived on a lagoon or a bayou or whatever the hell it was, and his family had a boat. We had a boat, too, but we didn't live on the water. I mean we did, but it was across the street, and you couldn't keep a boat there. Our boat was at a marina, and it was a lot of trouble to get it out on the bay, which was really where you wanted to be to ski. The bay or Kyle's lagoon. Ryan's family had a boat, too, but it was really too big to pull skiers. Too slow. It was more like a yacht or something. That meant Kyle was the ski captain. We spent the summers after sixth, seventh, and eighth grades on Kyle's boat. Or skiing behind it. That was about all we did, too. That, and surf and skateboard. The next summer Mr. Gene put Kyle's ass to work, but we still skied on the weekends.
       The summer after ninth grade was when I figured out I was gay. I knew I was different from Kyle and Ryan, but I didn't know what that really was. I fooled around on the Internet a lot that summer, and that's when I found out about myself. I was gay. I remember being scared to death when I finally admitted that to myself. I thought I was doomed to a life of isolation and ridicule.
       Ryan actually came out to me before I came out to him. He was spending the night at my house one night that summer, and that's when he told me. I started crying.
       "Why are you crying?" he asked. "I'm not going to do anything to you."
       "I know. I'm crying because I am, too," I said.
       "You are what? Are you gay, too?"
       "Yes, I think so," I said, between my tears.
       He hugged me, and I instantly got hard. He felt it, and I was embarrassed beyond words.
       "It's okay, Philip. I'm hard, too," he said.
       "I know. I can feel it," I said.
       "Do you like me?" he asked.
       "I love you, Ryan. I've loved you and Kyle for a long time," I said.
       "I know. Me, too," he said. "Kyle's not gay, though."
       "I know, but I'm so glad you are," I said.
       From there it progressed, and Ryan and I got more and more physical with each other over the next few weeks and months. We decided to become boyfriends, although we really didn't know what that meant. We loved each other, though, but we kept quiet about it, even from Kyle.
       Ryan, Kyle, and I were all Eagle Scouts. Tim was a new friend of Kyle's, and new to our troop, too, and he was doing his Eagle Project in February or March when Kyle, Ryan, and I were sophomores. Tim was a freshman. Kyle got us to help. That was the day I told Kyle that Ryan and I were boyfriends, and he told me he and Tim were boyfriends, too. That changed everything, and it changed nothing, at the same time. Maybe I loved Kyle in a different way then, more like a brother than I did before, but I still loved him. And he still loved me.
       "Kyle, what do you think about us being gay?" I asked him one time.
       "I don't think anything about it. It's just the way we are, Philip. We can't do anything about it. It's not something you can take back, you know? It's just us, man," he said.
       "I know, but don't you think things might have been different between us, if we had known," I said.
       He put a hand on each of my shoulders, and he looked at me intensely.
       "I've loved you since I was four years old, Philip. I've always loved you, and I always will. It's just different now, you know? You've got Ryan, and I've got Tim. That's not going to change anything between us, Philip. The four of us are going to be tight the rest of our damn lives, man. We're going to be best friends forever," he said.
       "I know. I hope so, anyway. We'll all be gay together," I said.
       That Memorial Day after we graduated was the day we were all going to be gay together. We were going to Pensacola for a big gay celebration, and I was excited about it. Kyle and Tim had traveled to places where there were gay neighborhoods and big gay clubs, but Ryan and I hadn't yet done that. We both had the money to travel, but we both had parents who didn't want us doing that. There were a few places in Emerald Beach that were specifically gay, but not that many. I wanted to be out and proud among my gay brothers.
       Ryan and I spent the night at Kevin and Rick's house. We had done that a million times or more, but we wanted to be there so we could get an early start the next day. Kevin's family was there, and they had been there for several days. We had a real nice dinner Sunday night, and they left with Kyle's parents to go to Destin, where they were staying. They took Ron with them, and Kyle, Tim and them were very sad about him leaving. There were a lot of tears when those people left.
       We played around in the pool after they left.
       "So what is this thing going to be tomorrow?" Rick asked.
       "I don't know. I've read it's supposed to have a hundred thousand gay people there," I said.
       "Why do you want to go? Are you looking to hook up?" Rick asked. I knew he was teasing me.
       "If he does, I'll cut his damn balls off," Ryan said. "There won't be nothing to hook up to, when I finish with him."
       "Such tender endearments. That's what I love about you Beach Rats. You're always so sweet to each other," Rick said.
       That made everybody laugh.
       "He knows I'll do the same damn thing to him, if he tries to hook up with somebody," I said.
       "You guys are in this for life, aren't you?" Rick asked.
       "Yes, sir," Ryan and I said at the same time, without hesitation.
       "I just noticed. Your tattoos are identical, except for the name under them," Chuck said. "It's like you've marked each other."
       Ryan and I grinned big because that was exactly what those tattoos were supposed to mean. That was our outward sign of commitment to each other. I didn't really see us ever wearing rings or anything like that, but we wore those tattoos proudly, as a sign of our love.
       The next morning, they cooked a big breakfast, and we were on the road by 7:30. We were all in Kyle's new Land Cruiser, and he was at the wheel. The traffic wasn't too bad that morning, and we were making decent time. It was only about a hundred miles to Pensacola, but I had known it to take three hours or more because of the traffic.
       "Is it okay to smoke, Kyle?" Kevin asked.
       God, I was glad he asked that because I wanted one so bad, and I knew Ryan did, too. I really didn't think Kyle gave a shit, but it was a brand new car.
       "No, I don't think it is, Kevin. I think it's bad for you. It causes heart trouble, and then you have to go to some quack heart surgeon for him to cut you open and let all that smoke out," Kyle said.
       We all knew Kevin's daddy was a heart surgeon, and that made us laugh.
       "I'll take my chances," Kevin said, and he lit up.
       Ryan, Jus, and I lit up, too.
       "Are y'all stinking up my brand new car?" Kyle asked.
       He was using what my daddy called the "Emerald Beach Grumble," a way of talking we had learned from our daddies and other men and boys, and we had used it all our lives. That was the way guys talked to each other when they were teasing and having fun with their friends. It was kind of gruff.
       "Yeah. Are you going to make something of it?" Ryan asked.
       "I will if you don't give me one," Kyle said.
       We laughed, but he shook it off when Justin offered him a smoke. He had just said that for the laugh.
       We didn't really know where we were going. Pensacola Beach is a pretty damn big place, and there were a lot of people out there. Then we saw a big rainbow flag, so we figured that was it. We found a place to park on one of the roads leading down to the water, and there were tags from all over the damn place. In fact, the Florida tags were the rare ones.
       There were tents and little trailer things set up all over the place. Those were the booths and concessions. There were hundreds of people on the beach, and it seemed like they were all guys. Most of them were wearing Speedos or some kind of bathing suit, but we passed three or four groups that were all dressed in leather. They had on leather vests and jeans and leather chaps. Boots, of course. Leather caps, too.
       "That bunch is going to boil their balls by the end of the day," Kyle said. "I don't know how they're not already so hot they can't stand it. I'm hot, and all I've got on is shorts and a tee shirt."
       "I think they're making a statement, Kyle," Kevin said.
       "What's the statement? 'I'm sweat-gland free?'"
       We all laughed.
       "I know what you're saying, Kevin. That's the leather boys, right?" Kyle said. "We saw that at that bar in New Orleans. The one where we thought they were going to eat us up."
       The next bunch to catch our eye was two young guys in leather jock straps. Both jock straps had snaps at the top of the pouch, and one guy's pouch was partly unsnapped and his dick was hard. Both the boys had collars around their necks, and an older guy was "walking" them on leashes. Their hands were tied behind their backs. The older guy was just a-grinning, and he was hard, too. He had on jeans, so his was covered up.
       After they had passed us a good ways, we turned to one another and started laughing. That was exactly the kind of stuff I had wanted to see, and now I was seeing it.
       "You guys are getting an education this morning," Rick said.
       "I know. What was that all about?" I asked.
       "Philip, those two boys and that man needed, or at least wanted, just what they were doing. I don't claim to understand it, but if we want straight people to accept us and take us seriously, we've got to be willing to accept and take seriously guys like that. They were obviously into some kind of domination thing, and those boys were enjoying it. You saw how aroused that one boy was, and that man, too," Kevin said. "And guys, don't think that's just a gay thing. Straight people like that kind of scene, too. Some of them."
       I tried to imagine my mama leading my daddy on a leash like that, or vice versa, and the image just wouldn't come.
       There was one group of about eight guys who had on ragged cutoff blue jeans but no shirts. Every one of them was covered with thick body hair, and it looked like they could make two more of them if they each lost the weight they needed to lose.
       "Did you guys notice that group of bears back there?" Kevin asked.
       "Bears? You mean those big fat guys?" I asked.
       "Yeah. Fat and hairy," Kevin said.
       "What make 'em bears?" Kyle asked.
       "Their size and their hairiness," Kev said.
       We had taken off our tee shirts by then because it was pretty hot.
       "You got the hairiness for it, Stud," Justin said to Kyle.
       Jus reached to grab a handful of the hair on Kyle's chest, but Kyle dodged him. I had noticed last summer that one day he had a good crop of it growing, and the next day it was gone. I figured he shaved it.
       "Are you going to shave your chest this summer, Kyle?" Rick asked.
       "I don't know," Kyle responded. "He likes it."
       "Little Timmy likes that soft, cuddly feel of his big ole bear, don't you, Timmy?" Justin said, teasing Tim.
       "I hate to tell you this, Justin, but have you looked at your own boyfriend lately?" Tim asked.
       I had already noticed that ole Brian had grown him quite a bit of hair on his chest, too. I had some, too, but mine was real light.
       "I know. I'm just teasing you, Tim. I know he's done furred up on me, and he's the one with the teddy bear tattoo, if you remember," Jus said. "I don't know what that's supposed to mean."
       We all laughed. Kyle and Brian were the two hairiest ones of us, but they were nowhere close to being the kind of bears those other guys were. I figured it was that dark hair and darker complexions they both had that did it.
       We found a place to set up "camp" on the beach, further down from the festival, or whatever you might call it. We had a couple of coolers with beer, soft drinks, water, and food, and we had several bags of non-perishable stuff, too. Things like chips, nuts, pickles, olives, pickled okra. You name it. The first thing Kyle did was set up a little buffet of snacks on the tops of those two coolers. That boy loved to entertain, and he was good at it, too.
       I had noticed that the farther we got away from the festival area, the more skin we saw. There were naked guys everywhere. A lot of it was just milling around, seeing and being seen. There were some people in the Gulf, but most of the people were right there on the beach. Kyle and Tim both took off their shorts, and they had Speedos under them. Ryan and I hadn't thought of that, and we had just worn underwear.
       I was totally in love with Ryan, and totally satisfied with him sexually and every other way, but, you know, you just can't look at guys like Kyle and Tim without feeling some kind of reaction. Then Justin and Brian did the same thing, and, Oh, my God! I had seen all four of them stark naked a million times without even giving them a second look, but that day every drop of blood in my body was headed right to my dick. I didn't know what that was all about, either.
       "Are you going to stay dressed up the whole time?" Kyle asked me.
       "This is a little bit much for me, Kyle. I need to settle down, get calm, and get used to it all, you know?" I said.
       He grinned at me, and I knew what that was all about. He knew me too damn good.
       "Don't say anything, you hear me?" I said, using the Grumble. "I'll kick your ass, Kyle. I swear to God I will."
       "You don't want me to say anything about that wet spot on your shorts? Is that what you mean?" he said.
       "Goddamn it, Kyle," I said.
       He started laughing, and he dropped down onto the sand next to me.
       "Gimme a smoke," he said.
       "When are you going to start buying 'em? You can, you know? You're eighteen," I said.
       "Shut up, Philip, and gimme a smoke," he said.
       * * *
       We had a great day. Eventually, all the boys got naked and walked around. We even went back to the festival area naked, and probably fifty percent of the guys there were just like us. We saw some sights there, too. I saw several guys who had these big stainless steel rings through their dicks. It looked like the ring went into the bottom and came our the piss slit. I didn't know what that was all about, and I didn't ask any of them about 'em. I wished I could get me a closer look, though. About half the guys had tattoos or some kind of body piercing, or both, and that was cool.
       I had seen a whole array of different dicks at Kevin and Rick's house, of course, but all the guys were young. That day I saw dicks of every size and shape and color, and of every age, too. It was amazing to me. They were all dicks, no question about that, but they were so different. It was like every guy had his own signature dick. I saw some that were so big I didn't think they could ever get hard and stand up against gravity. I saw some little ones, too, that were just like mushroom caps hiding in a forest of pubic hair.
       Around mid-afternoon, we went back to our camp. I laid down on a big beach towel to catch forty winks. I was tired from getting up early and from all that sun.
       The next thing I knew, two guys were standing over me, kicking sand onto my crotch. I looked to my right and my left, and nobody was around me. None of my boys, I mean.
       The two guys standing over me were big bruisers. They had on Levis and leather chaps, leather caps, and black boots. No shirts, though. They both had real thick moustaches.
       "Get up, faggot. You're coming with us," one guy said.
       "I'm not going anywhere with you," I said.
       "Oh, yes, you are, boy. Get up," the one guy said.
       "Leave me alone, man," I said.
       "No way. Your ass is mine tonight," he said.
       "Mine, too," the other guy said.
       I was scared to death. I didn't know who those guys were or what they wanted, but I knew I didn't want any part of it. Where are my boys, I thought.
       The one guy reached over and grabbed me by my pubic hair. That hurt like hell.
       "Get up," he said.
       "RYAN!!!!! KEVIN!!!!! RICK!!!!! KYLE!!!!! JUSTIN!!!!!" I screamed.
       In a second they were all there. Rick hit the guy who was pulling my pubic hair in the face with his elbow, and that guy went down. The other one started running, and Justin tackled him, sending him face first into the sand. Kyle and Ryan helped me up, and Ryan grabbed me up into a huge hug right there in front of them.
       In a second, Justin and Rick had those two guys on their knees in front of us. They had them by their hair, and I could tell it hurt.
       "I'm calling the cops," Kyle said.
       He got his cell phone out of his backpack in an instant, and he had that thing ready to go.
       "Call 'em if you want to, but they ain't going to come," one of the guys said. "Him and me made a mistake, but y'all might as well let us go."
       "I don't think so, dude. You are not going to mess with our brother the way you just did and get off. Why won't the cops come?" Rick asked.
       "Cause we're all queer out here, that's why. They wouldn't come out here for a bunch of niggers, either. As far as they know, it was just a little love spat among queers," he said.
       I was totally infuriated, and I could tell the rest of them were, too.
       "You mean, we can spend our money here, but we can't have police protection?" I asked.
       "You got it, buddy. Y'all ain't getting any help, so you might as well forget it and let us go," he said.
       "Shit, this is fucked up," Kyle said. "Let's take their clothes and drown 'em."
       "I'll buy taking their clothes, but we're not killing anybody, Kyle," Kevin said.
       "Take 'em off," Jus said.
       "We don't have anything else to put on," the second guy said.
       "Tough shit. Take the fucking clothes off, man. Do it right now," Jus said.
       Their asses were white as a cloud, and I knew they were embarrassed. Kyle grabbed a lock of the pubic hair of the guy who had gotten mine, and he yanked. That guy felt it, too, and he let out a howl.
       "You don't fuck with my brother, you hear me?" Kyle screamed.
       "Lighten up, man," the guy said. "Goddamn, that hurts."
       "No, I'm not lightening up on you. That boy has been my best friend all my life, and you ain't getting away with nothing, you fucking son of a bitch."
       That guy was naked by then, and Kyle shoved him on his ass and made him fall face-first into the sand.
       "You are so fucking lucky they won't let me drown your ass because that's exactly what the fuck I want to do," Kyle said.
       Kyle grabbed him by his hair, and I knew that hurt.
       "You tell him you're sorry for what you did, you motherless piece of shit," Kyle said.
       "I'm sorry, man," the guy said.
       "Kick his face in, Philip," Kyle said.
       "Kyle, calm down, man. I'm not doing that. He didn't hurt me, except to pull my hair, and you got him back for that. I think Rick might have broken his nose. That's enough, Kyle," I said.
       "I want to go home," Kyle said. "I've had enough of this shit. What do y'all think?"
       We all said we wanted to go home, too. We had planned to stay for the fireworks that night, but we were ready to get out of there.
       We packed up and went home. We ran the two guys off, but we left their clothes right there for them to get.
       "I hope the Disney trip ain't going to be like this," Kyle said on the way home.
       "I know," I said. "I don't want that, either."

(Brian's Perspective)
       The last part of May was all about Kyle. And that was the way it was supposed to be. He was graduating from high school, after all, and that was a pretty important milestone. Kyle was my ultimate big brother, and I was as proud of him as I could be.
       "Brian, I'm so proud of you, I could bust," Kyle said.
       "What do you mean?" I asked.
       "The whole thing, man. You learning all that stuff from Mr. Mack, and you turning into a real dog man. And winning the science fair, and all. You and Tim are pretty remarkable guys," he said. "Y'all are the two smartest guys I know, but I think you might be a little bit smarter than Tim."
       "Thanks, Bubba," I said.
       Kyle was always pretty free with compliments, but, for some reason, I was suspicious. I figured he wanted something.
       "I know Denny's a good writer, but I don't think he holds a candle to you," Kyle said.
       "Have you ever even read anything I've written?" I asked.
       "Well, not exactly, but I just have that feeling about you, Bri. I just know it in my heart," he said.
       He was being so serious that I couldn't help smiling. He was being cute.
       "What do you want, Kyle?" I asked.
       "Now, Bubba, don't say that. You make it sound like you think I'm buttering you up or something," he said.
       I laughed.
       "So where are we going with this?" I asked.
       He looked down at his hand and started scratching the side of his left index finger. Kyle had some kind of skin condition that flared up when he got nervous or anxious. His hands broke out in tiny little blisters that itched him badly. He usually ended up scratching himself until he broke the skin, and, when he did that, he'd get these really ugly scabs. He put his hand to his mouth and started scratching the spot with his teeth.
       "Don't do that. You're going to break the skin and get scabs on your hand," I said.
       "It itches bad, though," he said.
       "Use some of the salve the doctor gave you for that," I said.
       "I don't know where it is," he said.
       "What is it you want me to do, Kyle? You know I'll be glad to help you, if I can," I said.
       Like everybody else in the family, I'd do anything for Kyle. I thought he knew that.
       "Yeah, I do, but this is going to be hard," he said.
       "What is it?"
       He made a deep sigh.
       "You know my book. . . That picture book?"
       "Yeah, what about it?"
       "I'm needing some help with it," he said. "I've got to finish it before we go to Disney and get it in the Fed Ex to them."
       We had a week off between Memorial Day and our trip to Gay Days in Orlando. I would start summer school and working for Mr. Mack when we got back, and the rest of them would start their summer jobs then, too.
       "Have you started it?"
       "They sent me some notes they wrote in New York, and they want me to organize it and get it all polished up," he said.
       "Do you want me to work with you on that, Kyle?" I asked.
       "Brian, I know that's trouble, man, but that's what I need. I can pay you for doing it," he said.
       "Kyle, I can't believe you just said that. You've already paid me way too much in modeling fees. I checked on that. The going rate around here is $75 an hour, not $750, like you paid me," I said. "Besides, what kind of brother would I be if I only helped you because you paid me?"
       "Just seventy-five and not seven fifty? Shit, I got the damn decimal point wrong. You know I'm lousy at math," he said.
       I screamed with laughter. The day Kyle Goodson couldn't handle money, decimal points and all, was going to be the day the world ended.
       "Kyle, I will be honored to help you with that book. Most of the people I've known in my life couldn't even read a book, much less write one. Where's the stuff? Let's get started," I said.
       "It's on the hard drive of the computer in the study," he said. "I have it on a couple of Zip disks, too. They sent me those in the regular mail. Those have the pictures and the words. We just need to fool with the words, though."
       We went into the study to look at what he had. I immediately realized that the only way to work with that was in hard copy.
       "We need to print this whole thing so we can look at the pictures as we work on the text," I said. "This is a pretty slow printer, though."
       It was a Hewlett Packard Desk Jet in the 800 series. It was a very good printer for home use, but we were beyond regular home use at that point.
       "Let's take it to Goodson and use that good printer they got there," he said.
       And that's what we did. It took us about an hour and a half to print the entire book, pictures and all. That was the fastest and best laser printer I had ever seen.
       "Kyle, these pictures are fantastic. I've never seen most of these," I said.
       "Thanks. A good many of them are of you," he said.
       He had his finger back up to his mouth, scratching with his teeth. There were other spots on his hands that he was scratching, too, by then.
       Once we had it printed out, we went back home to work. The way the book was set up, the picture was going to be on the right-hand page, and the copy was going to be on the left-hand page. We worked at the dining room table. I would read the copy aloud, and then he and I would study over it to see if it said what we thought the picture conveyed. We made a pretty good team, and we both contributed ideas. I had a laptop computer set up on the table, and I was typing in changes onto the zip disks as we worked on them.
       We broke for lunch and went out to get something to eat. Tim and Denny went with us. We talked about what Kyle and I had been doing.
       "You don't want our help?" Denny asked. He sounded like he might be a little hurt.
       "I'm the one who suggested Brian, Denny," Tim said. "I know you're a good writer and all, and I'm not bad, but I thought this was something Brian needed to do. Are you mad at me, Brian?"
       I didn't believe what he had just said. Mad at him? He had just given me an enormous honor, and he thought I might be mad at him?
       "Tim, how could you think that? I'm having a great time doing it," I said.
       "You're getting credit for it, too, don't think you're not," Kyle said. "I'm dedicating the book to Tim Murphy and all the boys of Emerald Beach, though. But you'll get credit by name, Brian. In addition to the dedication."
       Everybody was a little stunned by that announcement.
       "I can't believe I have a bro