The Oberlin Five

The Oberlin Five

By Sequoyah Pendor
sequoyah@charter.net

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This is a work of fiction; any coincidence is just that, a coincidence.

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© 2000 - 2003 Sequoyah Pendor. All rights reserved.

Chapter One

Luke

Matt and I were standing arm-in-arm, as were Larry and Eugene. Without thinking, one couple got on one side of Paula and the other couple on the opposite side, put our arms around her, and the Oberlin Five walked slowly toward the house which suddenly seemed very empty. In the foyer, we stood together, realizing that this was it. Now there were the Concord Five and the Oberlin Five. And all we had known was way, way away. We were all very silent, then Larry said, "And now the new adventure really begins."

We all nodded and continued to stand in silence until Matt said, "Somehow or other I don't feel as grown-up and independent as I did yesterday". Silence. Nods.

"Well, we don't need to just stand here. We need to get some things done. You guys get the beds stripped and remade. Store the twin mattresses again and do the laundry. I'll get started on cleaning up the kitchen," Paula commanded. I guess we knew who was in charge of the house--not that there would have been any doubt if we had thought about it. To tell the truth, Larry and Eugene might have thought they hadn't been pampered--at least until Millie took Eugene in--but, as soon as Paula spoke, I saw that we really had been. Our moms had taken care of us. As we started upstairs to get the bed linen, Paula called out, "And don't get up there and start something. In the first place, you have work to do and, in the second, I'd be jealous!" We laughed for the first time since the parents had gone.

When Matt and I had removed the sheets from our bed and remade it, he pulled me on top of himself and started some really hot kissing. "Yes!" I said, just as Paula shouted up the stairs, "I said no making out!"

Reluctantly, we tossed the sheets into the hall, and I got the towels and wash clothes from the bathrooms while Matt stripped the now-empty fourth bedroom. When he came out, he yelled to Larry and Eugene, "You heard the woman". Larry came out of Paula's room carrying sheets as Eugene poked his head out of theirs.

"I know we are good make-out artists," Eugene laughed, "but I don't think even we could make out in two different rooms."

We tossed the linen downstairs and got the downstairs bedroom and bath linen. It made a huge pile and Matt was trying to force it all into the washer. "I don't think that will work," Larry said. "It's not the way Mom does it."

"Well, how do you do it? What do you do other than put it in and turn on the machine?"

All four of us looked at each other. "We've been spoiled," I said. "What do we do? Paula!"

Paula came from the kitchen, her hands soapy, and asked, "What's the problem?"

"Ok, we may as well admit it now. We've been spoiled. We don't know how to do laundry."

"Well I hope you four don't think you have a Mama Paula. You'll just have to learn. First important step: everything you have is light-colored, so it can always be washed together. NEVER put dark colors, and especially new things, in with light colors. Red is especially bad. Then you put in a load--you don't pack it, just drop it in until it's to here," she said, as she pointed at a spot in the washer. "Add the detergent--there's a measuring spoon in the box--close the lid and push the start button--here. That's it."

"But they won't all go in," Matt said.

"Then you do several loads," she laughed and looked kinda disgusted.

With the washing going, the four of us re-wrapped the twin bed mattresses and box springs and took them to the attic. When we finished, Eugene went to help Paula finish in the kitchen while the other three straightened up the house, which didn't take long.

When we finished, it was lunch time and we found stuff for sandwiches, made them and sat in the kitchen eating. "Paula, I really meant it when I said we were spoiled. I mean we had chores around the house and I guess I thought we pretty much pulled our share of the load--maybe we did--but there are five of us here and we have it all to do. I know laundry is not the last thing I don't know how to do," I said.

"Well, I sure don't know everything either. I'm not much of a cook and, to tell the truth, I don't like it," Paula responded.

"I guess any of us could learn to do anything, and probably should as time goes on but, for the present, maybe we better decide who can do what and make out a duty sheet," Matt suggested.

We sat around the table for about an hour discussing what we could and could not do and what we liked and did not like to do. Seems all of us hated doing laundry and washing dishes, so we decided we would each do our own laundry and rotate the dishwashing. Matt, Larry and I, being farm boys, knew we'd have to dig in the dirt one way or another and said we'd take on the gardens as our major effort. Eugene said he'd do the mowing and trimming--"I did it at home," he added. Paula said she'd help and she'd divide up the routine house cleaning.

"And as soon as we have our schedules, we need to set a day for overall cleaning or the place will be a mess, if I know us," Eugene said. "And it's a huge place." We all agreed.

We had just finished when the phone rang. I reached out and got it and suddenly didn't know what to say! "Larsen residence, Luke," certainly wasn't it, although I started to. Finally I said, "Residence of the Oberlin Five, Luke here".

"Luke, Stinky, Stinky Mason here. Is Matt Greywolf around?".

"Sure, just a minute. Matt, Stinky ... Stinky? ... Stinky Mason on the phone," I said as I passed Matt the phone.

"Later, Luke. Stinky! Great to hear from you," Matt said into the phone. "No kidding? ... Really? ... I can't believe it ... Tomorrow? ... By lunch? .. Great! ... You'll have lunch with us? ... Yea, I guess that's who we are now ... Yea, half the Fellowship ... Great! ... I'm excited, as I'm sure they will be ... Ok, see you then." As Matt hung up the phone, he said, "That was Stinky Mason". It was obvious he was as excited as a five-year-old at Christmas.

"We kinda got that idea,' I laughed. "But who's Stinky Mason?"

"You know, I wrote you about him ... While I was at Sewanee ..." Matt said, a bit impatiently.

"I'm sure you did, but then that was a pretty traumatic time for me--us," I replied.

"And you sure didn't write us about any Stinky Mason," Paula said.

Matt, of course, had to tell us the whole story of Stinky--how he got his name, how he had taught him footwork and all that. Then Eugene asked, "So, what's going on with Stinky?".

"He's coming tomorrow. He'll stop and pick up Woody and they will both be here by lunch tomorrow, and they're having lunch with us, and he is coming to talk about Holtkamp, and meet with me and some people from the organ department at Oberlin, and ..."

"One would hardly know you were excited, Matt," Larry laughed. "What's all this about?"

"I don't know if it's true, although Sticky and Woody say it is, that most organ builders are not really great organists--I mean, a trumpet maker really doesn't have to be able to play concerts--and that even fewer great organists really know organ building--you don't have to know how to build a trumpet to become as good as you are, Eugene. I mean you have to know how it works, but not how to build one," Matt was still talking double time. "But I guess it's different with organs--at least Woody and Stinky think so. An organist who really understands organ building--and might even be capable of building one--would be something else."

"And you think you are a great organist?" I laughed.

"Well, I may not be now, but I damn well will be!" Matt said in all seriousness.

"Of course you will, Matt, Baby," Paula said and patted him on the head.

"You're frigging darn right I will be," Matt said.

"Thought we agreed to leave the hard stuff--language, that is--to the experts," I laughed.

Matt was looking a bit deflated at that moment when Larry said, "Hey, Matt, loosen up! You know we're kidding. You are damn good and we know you'll be better. But we still don't know what you're talking about."

Matt blushed and told the Five that Stinky and Woody were trying to arrange some sort of apprenticeship or internship for him with the Holtkamp Organ Company in Cleveland. "'Course organists disagree over who's the best, but even the doubters put Holtkamp right at the top, if not on top, of American builders. They think I can get study credit for working there and I would learn how my organ works--I mean how a pipe organ works."

"Got out of that one, didn't you?" Eugene laughed and Matt blushed.

"You'll have admit, fellows, it's pretty exciting news," Paula said, "so what do we need to do to prepare?"

"The house is in pretty good shape. Actually, it's in great shape," Eugene said. "We need to get groceries in--after we find out what we have--then maybe work outside some more. Things are really shaping up, but we need to get as much done as we can before school starts."

"Luke, since you and Matt obviously know most about cooking, why don't you two check on the food supply, make out menus for a week, and buy groceries? I don't think at this point the rest of us will be great help. And I've been thinking about the 'I don't like to do' list," Larry said. "For the present, we need to know what we are doing, but I think we all need to take our turn at everything. Right now we have to go with what we know, but we all need to be learning. Sure, Luke and Matt could take care of the cooking--they're both good. But I think we should team up with someone who is learning. One cook and one learner. Then rotate the next week with the fifth person having a week off in the rotation. That way we'll all learn to cook. We need to do most things that way, except maybe the grounds ..."

"Everything," Paula said, "I'm as able as any of you."

"Everything then." There were five heads nodding agreement. "Right now Luke and I will do the survey of what we have and then someone can help me do the menus and make out a grocery list," Matt said.

We continued talking, working out details for another half hour, then Matt and I made an inventory of the food we needed. It was a long list because, essentially, we were setting up housekeeping from the ground up. We also decided we'd pay with a credit card Matt had, so he could earn airline frequent flyer miles and to keep for a record. We'd divide expenses and pay up at the end of the month, that way we'd accrue no interest charges. "I guess I have already learned one thing," Larry said, "keeping house is not easy. Paula, we need to let our moms know we realize that, because they held it together when they had little or nothing at hand."

"Matt, Paula and I are doing the meals this week so you can be free to do what you need to do with Stinky and Woody," I said. I'll go shopping with Eugene this time."

"We three will hit the grounds again," Larry said, and we broke up the meeting. It wasn't long before we were to discover how important that meeting had been, and just how we had dropped the ball but, for the moment, all was well and Paula, Matt and Larry headed outside.

Matt

There was little left to do in the front, including the front gardens. The back, which went down to the beach, would just be kept neat without too much trimming, to prevent erosion, and a weed-eater did quick work of that. None of us had gone behind the garage to the vegetable garden so, with everything neat at the house, the three of us went to look it over.

I was really surprised when we rounded the garage. There were three huge compost bins, a shed filled with tools and gardening implements, a large garden which, of course, was overgrown with weeds--very fine and vigorous weeds. I could see some trees beyond the garden, but couldn't tell what they were. "Well, we can plan on fresh asparagus next spring," I said, as I looked around. "Also, we could probably have rhubarb now."

"How do you know that?" Paula asked.

"See those ferny looking things over there," Larry said, "that's an asparagus bed."

"Sure doesn't look like asparagus," Paula mused.

"That's because it's grown. You cut what you eat in early spring, before it comes out of the ground. And next to it is some pretty good-looking rhubarb, even grown up with weeds as it is." As we continued to look over the garden, Larry added, "Matt, do you think those trees are fruit trees?".

"Would make sense and that's what they look like from here. Let's go see." The going wasn't easy--when I said the garden was overgrown, I wasn't kidding. Before we reached the trees, we passed beds of raspberries and blueberries. We thought we saw a strawberry patch on our way, but it was so overgrown, we couldn't be sure. As we approached the trees, it was obvious they were part of what had once been a good orchard, let go. "With some pruning and care, we'll have some fresh fruit. I like this place," I fairly shouted. "Maybe we'll just have to call this the Oberlin Five Commune."

"With free love?" Larry laughed.

"Don't think that would be fair," Paula once again used her pouty voice. "Where do we start on this mess?" ever-practical Paula asked.

"The first thing we'll have to do is get rid of the weeds. We can't do much until then. I guess we need to start with the weed eater. We'll pile the weeds for the compost pile after we get what's in them out, including the healthy weeds growing in the bins."

"Matt, we may be farm boys but it occurs to me, my hayseed friend, that we know very little about gardening here. It has to be different," Larry said. Of course he was right.

"Well, until we get the weeds gone, that doesn't matter." We went to the tool shed and garage and got the tools we needed and started to work. It was hard, dirty work and the sun was pretty hot. After an hour, when we decided we had just about had it, I heard Luke's truck horn. We made a pass through the outdoor shower and went into the house.

When we got inside, Luke and Eugene were still hauling in bags and the kitchen counters were already covered. The three of us went with Luke and Eugene and brought the rest of the stuff in. "Man, we better be glad we don't have to start from scratch each week," Eugene said. "The checkout girl asked if we were feeding an army, we had so much stuff."

"Ok, we all need to know where everything is so, as we put it away, let's pay some attention. It'll take longer but otherwise we'll spend a lot of time hunting for stuff," Luke said as he opened a cabinet. "Bet I know who worked in here," he laughed. "New shelf paper and the same design as at home. Mom strikes again."

It took an hour to get everything put away and, when we finished, we all grabbed a glass of soda and the peanut butter and crackers and sat at the kitchen table snacking. "Luke, Eugene, you'll never believe what we discovered," Larry said, and then told them about the garden and orchard. "We're going to need some advice and help with that since this is not North Carolina."

"Extension agent time," Luke said. Larry and I nodded, Eugene and Paula looked puzzled. "Oh, for you city dudes," Luke said, "he's with the Department of Agriculture and helps with growing things. Used to be just for farmers but these days even metropolitan counties have them. We'll just give him a call and set up an appointment."

After the break, we all went back to the garden, first just to explore, then we set to work again. Progress was sure slow. After another couple hours, progress had definitely been made but there was still a long way to go. "Think we should call it a day," Eugene said. "I'm messing up my dainty hands."

"To the beach," Paula shouted, and started running to the tool shed to put away the tools she had been using. We all joined in the exodus and ten minutes later were in the lake.

An hour later, after a dash through the shower, we went inside and all five took a hot shower. Paula opted to take hers downstairs so the two couples could use the upstairs ones. When we were all dressed, we went down and supper was started. While Paula and Luke cooked, Larry and Eugene folded the linens which had been washed and dried, and started another load washing and one drying. I set the table. All the leaves had been removed and it was still large, but not really too large for five people. As I worked, I thought, "We need to make the evening meal special 'most every night, otherwise we'll just start grabbing stuff and calling it supper. Dinner 'most every evening." When I mentioned it at dinner, everyone agreed. 'Course, we had to remind ourselves of that decision later when things started really moving.

After dinner, we all pitched in and got the kitchen and dishes cleaned up and got the next load of dry linen folded in no time, then went into the family room. Matt had the best stereo among us and we started to set it up in the family room when Eugene said, "Look, Matt's going to need to practice in here and I know he doesn't need a stereo blasting even if he does use his headphones. Why don't we put this in the library, which is also very comfortable, and put mine in here. It may not be quite as good as Matt's, but it's close. Then when Matt's not practicing, we can use either room. And I know that when I am studying, I like soft music in the background and the stereo in the library would be good." We all agreed and spent an hour getting both systems set up to everyone's satisfaction.

When we finished, I said, "If you guys don't mind, I really do need to spend some time practicing. I have played so little recently and that begins to show quickly. I'll use the headphones."

"We'll be around when you finish," Luke said as he kissed me on the forehead.

I really had gotten careless about practice and I could tell it immediately. Of course, the work in the garden hadn't made my hands and fingers the most flexible, but I knew the main problem was lack of practice. Soon I was so involved in my music that I forgot everything else and, since I was using headphones, everything except the organ was shut out. I entered a special world where the only thing that existed was me and my music.
&&&Luke

When Matt went to the family room to practice, the remaining four of us went to the library. We all took a turn at the computers--we had three: Matt's, Eugene's and mine.

After we had all had a chance to check our mail, Paula picked up a book and started reading while the three guys composed letters. Eugene and Larry finished about the same time, and both offered to let Paula use the computer they had been using. Eugene finally said, "Look, I need to practice as well, so take this one. Luke, mind if I use the studio to practice? I know you don't want to hear it and I can't use headphones."

"Hey, great idea--at least until I need to use it. Maybe we need to think about a practice studio. I mean, you're right. I may like a trumpet, but two hours and I'd be bonkers," Luke said. "I'll go with you and we'll see how to go about fixing a practice studio. I think that's a good idea."

The studio was one huge room which looked even larger with its fresh paint job. The skylight was now so clear, stars and the sliver of the moon were visible through it. That also made the room seem larger. One end had a closet running over half-way across it. "If we extend the side of the closet into the room several feet--enough to make it, say, nine feet, and add a wall with a door from it to the other wall, you'd have something like a nine- by twelve-foot room. Would that be large enough?"

"More than enough. And with a well-padded carpet on the floor and acoustical tile on the walls and ceiling, it should be close to soundproof," Eugene replied. "We'll need to measure it to figure out the materials we'll need."

"I brought my tape, just in case," I told him. We quickly measured the room and I took the measurements and left Eugene to practice.

When I got back to the house, I sat down and quickly made some rough sketches and figured the materials list. After that, Paula, Larry and I just talked about nothing important until Eugene came back an hour later. "Hey, it's eleven," I said. "Matt's been at it long enough."

"When's getting-up time?" Paula asked.

"We haven't decided, but these are our last few days of freedom. Let's make it nine," Eugene said. "We still have a lot of work to get done, but I would like a little sleep-in time."

"And nine's sleep-in?" Paula asked. "Gads, I don't look forward to having to get up early. Goodnight, guys," she said, and headed upstairs. Larry and Eugene said their goodnights and followed her.

As they left, I went to the family room. Matt was sitting at his organ, playing in what must have been another universe. He gave no indication at all that I existed. When I tapped him on the shoulder, it startled him.

As he turned, he removed the headphones and said, "Luke, Babe, you startled me. I didn't know you were here."

"What happened to your knowing when I approached?" I laughed.

"Honest? To tell the truth, Luke, there is only one thing that comes between us, and that's my music--well, and I guess your art. When I really get into playing ..."

"I know, you're in another universe. I know the feeling well. I've always heard that one's art is their mistress."

"Or their second lover, if one is not interested in mistresses?" Matt laughed. As he did, I leaned over and kissed him and said, "I'll not be jealous of your other lover if you won't be of mine."

"Agreed!"

Matt slid off the organ bench and, arm-in-arm, we mounted the stairs. After we had undressed each other, we lay together and made wondrous love. I swear, every time with Matt was the best, every time. As we lay in the afterglow of our passion, Matt said, "Luke, every day I think I can't love you more and, Yonghon Tongmu, the next day proves how wrong I was. In my wildest dreams, I never dreamed I could love you as much as I do, and that loving you would be so far beyond what I could imagine, but it is, Babe, it is."

I kissed Matt softly and said, "I know, Sarang Hanun Pomul, I know, because I feel the same way." After we lay in silence for a few minutes, I asked, "Matt, are you frighted, excited, or what, about the future?"

"Yea, all of the above. I really didn't expect to be, but every day I realize that what I thought being here would be like, just isn't the way it is. So many surprises, so many responsibilities. Yes, all the above. But one thing which I dreamed about is just the way it is: having you beside me. But even that is different--it's a lot better!"

"Yea, you're right. And I love it!" I kissed Matt, and he spooned his body in to mine and we were soon asleep in Ohio.

Matt

Since Luke and Paula were this week's cooks, I woke up in bed alone. I decided, even before I was fully awake, that I liked it better to wake up with Luke beside me. I could hear Larry or Eugene--probably both--in the shower off my room, so I went across the hall and took a quick shower there, managing to keep my hair fairly dry, dressed and went downstairs.

Paula and Luke were busy in the kitchen and all sorts of good smells greeted me, but couldn't compare with the good morning kiss I got from Luke. I kissed Paula on the cheek, poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down on one of the stools by the kitchen table.

"Since you're here," Luke said, "will you, please, set the table?"

I did--it didn't take long--poured juice and filled glasses with ice and water. "Where did we put the napkins? I don't remember." Luke pointed to a cabinet and I finished with the table. Then, as an afterthought, I dashed outside and came back with a bunch of flowers for the table. "Now that's living," I said, standing back and admiring my handiwork.

"Damn, we may stay civilized after all," Luke laughed. "I thought we'd just become a bunch of sex-driven feral teenagers."

"Watch your mouth, you still have a nice young lady in your presence, who might become sex-driven, but her driver is far away. You'd hate to be the object of a female sex attack, wouldn't you?" Paula laughed big time.

When we had finished eating, we put our dishes in the dishwasher and ran a "rinse and hold" cycle, since there was no need to run a full wash cycle as it was not nearly full. Larry and Eugene took care of the pots and pans while we discussed the day's activities. "I'll call the County Extension Office and see about getting the county agent out here," Luke volunteered.

"I guess the rest of us can go ahead and start work on the garden," I said. "We can get in an hour or two's work before it gets hot and we need to get lunch ready."

When we reached the garden, Eugene said, "I see from the pile of weeds, you got a lot done, but when I look at the area they covered, it sure looks small."

"And it doesn't get larger fast," Paula said. "I guess I just don't understand why people want to dig in the dirt."

"It's a little boy thing," I laughed as Luke joined us.

"The county agent, a Mr. Glaze, will be here tomorrow morning. He seemed to be very excited about working with us on this place. Seems he tried to buy it right after the owner died but couldn't, thank goodness," Luke said.

After what seemed like hours, the five of us could see real progress and were dirty and sweating like mad. I looked at my watch. "Hey, it's 11:30 already. We better knock off and get ready for lunch." No-one objected and we all raced for the outdoor shower to get the worst of the dirt off, then went into the house and, once again, all three showers were occupied.

Luke and I had just gotten dressed when the front doorbell rang. I raced downstairs, threw open the door and there stood Woody and Stinky. Stinky grabbed me in a bear hug which I welcomed. "Man, it's good to see you again!" I practically shouted. "Come in, come in to our humble abode."

"If this is humble," Stinky laughed, "I can't imagine what a lavish one would be!"

When we walked in to the living room, the whole gang was there and I introduced them.

"Looks like a promising bunch," Stinky said.

"You just don't know!" Woody said as he hugged each of the four in turn. "See you've been busy since I left," he added.

"Just wait until you see what we really have gotten done, but it seems never-ending."

"Know the feeling," Stinky smiled. "It's the curse of home ownership."

"Lunch will be ready in a few minutes," Paula said. "Woody, you can show Stinky where to wash up."

The two disappeared down the hall toward the bathroom as Larry said, "It doesn't feel right to call Stinky Stinky.'

"Good southern raisin'," Luke laughed. "Don't you just love it when some little old lady says to 'yo' momma, while you're standing there, 'He's such a polite young man?'."

"Well, actually I do," Larry said, "but I guess there's being polite and calling someone you can't stand and for whom you have no respect 'mister' and being polite and calling someone you respect and like by a nickname."

"Yea, like being forced to call McBride 'reverend'," Eugene said as his face clouded. Fortunately, Woody and Stinky returned before anything else could be said on that score.

We sat down to potato salad, fresh tomatoes and boiled corn, and sandwiches made from the delicious roast beef from dinner the night before. Stinky had a lot of questions about what had happened since Sewanee and we all talked, but nothing was said about what had happened to me and Luke or, for that matter, the trip to the Black Hills. I was glad because I wanted that to be a private conversation and I suspect the others knew it.

When lunch was finished, we showed Stinky the place, and Woody what we had done since he left. They were both impressed. When we were in the studio, Eugene and Luke told all of us about their plans for a practice studio. Both men were impressed. "Good to see you are keeping each other in mind," Stinky said. "This would become a hell-hole if suddenly you weren't getting along. You need to remember that."

Back at the house, Luke suggested Paula and the other two might like to take the truck and go into town for materials for the practice studio. "I don't think I have missed anything," he said as he handed then a materials list. "I'm sure Paula would like to get out of here for a while because she hasn't left since heaven only knows when," he concluded.

When the three had gone, Luke and I sat in the family room with Stinky and Woody and told Stinky about what had happened, holding back little.

As we finished there was a long silence, for which I was thankful, then Stinky said, "I hope you do follow up on counseling and anything else that needs to be done for both of you, and especially for you, Luke." We assured him we would. "Ok, now let's see if you have given up your whorish ways, Matt," Stinky said.

I shot a quick look at Luke's face, not sure how he'd take the comment. His face told me he had not taken it at all well. This was no time for joking. "Luke, please, it's an organist joke." I then explained what Stinky meant and Luke, I could see, was relieved--and feeling guilty.

I played for Woody and Stinky for half an hour while both watched my technique. Before the summer I would have gotten very nervous but, after spending so much time with them at Sewanee, it just seemed natural to have them watch. When I finished, Woody said, "Good. You're much better. Very good, in fact."

Just as I finished, Larry burst into the house and yelled, "How about a little help out here. We've got a shi... truckload of stuff."

"I'll help, Matt," Luke said. "I know you three have some talking and planning to do."

"Thanks, Luke. Owe you one," I said, and meant it.

"Don't worry, I'll collect," Luke replied and gave me a melodramatic sneer and went out the door.

"Matt, I have been in contact with Holtkamp. I think at first they were afraid I was looking for a job for you. You, of course, will be of little use to them for maybe a year. In fact, while you're learning, you will actually be a liability," Stinky began. "However, I finally convinced Harry that you just wanted to learn and that I was working with Oberlin to get you credit for any time you spent with Holtkamp. When I showed him the video of the concert, he had a change of heart and said he would be delighted to have you as an intern. He even allowed as how he thought he could see his way to giving you a stipend to help pay for your transportation. I knew you'd go without that, but it gives both of you an obligation which I think is good. The only problem on that end now is getting your classes arranged so you can spend time there, and not just be hopping in and out. Harry would like to have you two full days if possible, but at least one full day and a half day if you can't get two full ones."

"Sounds great to me." I was so excited I could hardly speak.

"You do know that, given the drive to Holtkamp and back, if you get two days they will be full. You'll have to leave early and won't get home until late. How's that going to sit with your housemates?"

"I can't imagine it will cause a problem but, of course, we'll need to discuss it."

"That's something all five of you need to remember," Woody hoisted a warning flag again. "Things are going to come up and it's not like you are living in a dorm where what you do is your business. Here you're a household and that makes a huge difference."

"You'll need to talk with the crew this evening. I've made arrangements to meet Harry at St. William's in Cleveland, where they have a Holtkamp, so he can meet you and see and hear you play. Then we'll go to the studio, where the organs are designed and built, for you to look around and meet some of the people. It'll take most of the day. Then we have a meeting tomorrow evening with the chair of the organ department to see what we can work out at Oberlin. By tomorrow night we should know what's real and what's pipe dreams, so to speak. I think that after tomorrow evening your registration will, for all practical purposes, be taken care of so Thursday should be a snap for you. It won't be for the other four I suspect so, to compensate for hauling you away while they work and register, Woody and I have made reservations for dinner Thursday. We even found a place we like where we can have a more-or-less private area."

"Wow! Every time I turn around things change," I said.

"Welcome to life, young Matt," Woody smiled.

"By the way, Stinky, did Woody tell you about his time with us and the parents?"

"I think so. I mean he talked my head off about it. Did he leave out something?"

"Can't say for sure, but he sure was making out with an older woman before she left."

"I think he forgot about that on purpose. Woody, you sly old dog, what's going on?"

Both Stinky and I started laughing when Woody turned bright red. "You mean you can blush at your age?" I was finally able to say between laughs.

"Guess I must be young again," Woody stammered. "Well, yea, I found Millie a most attractive woman and she didn't push me away."

"Have you heard from her?" I asked. "And don't lie."

"Well, I guess I have. I mean we've talked on the phone."

"Yea?"

"Well, actually only once."

"But she only left Monday and won't get back until tonight."

"Well, motels have phones," Woody said sheepishly.

"I think you better take this up with Eugene before you go too far," I laughed.

"Well, let's go get in everyone's way," Stinky said. "Woody and I need to change and we'll be right out."

When the two came back, we went outside where the crew were still unloading the truck. It took a while to get that done, then Luke laid out the job and we all pitched in. "Same old story," Paula said, as Luke tried to puzzle out some construction detail, "Where's Jacob when he's needed?".

With Woody and Stinky both offering advice when asked, the studs for the wall were soon in place and ready for the sheet rock. We hit a glitch when we started installing the door. A standard pre-hung door wouldn't work, since there were two doors--one on the outside and one on the inside for sound insulation. With the help of a diagram a fellow at the home improvement store had made for Larry, we finally got it done. When we started the sheet rock which was being applied double thickness, that is, one sheet put up and another added on top of the first, Luke said, "You don't have to be too careful here inside. The sheet rock will be covered with acoustical tile. Outside, do it right or we'll have a major task of filling and sanding it, since it will be painted and a part of the studio wall."

As soon as the inside sheet rock was in place, insulation was placed between the studs and the outside sheet rock applied. It didn't take nearly as long as I had expected since there were seven of us working on it, and Larry and Luke were very good at keeping everyone working on something. While Luke and Larry applied the acoustical tile to the ceiling and inside walls, the rest of us applied the mud--that's what it was called, mud--to the cracks and dents made by hammers on the outside wall.

By the time we were finished, Luke and Larry had the thick carpet padding down and had rolled out and trimmed the carpet to fit and, using a funny tool, stretched the carpet over the floor. "Well, that's it until the mud dries so we can sand and paint," Larry said. "Time for a break."

We all piled into the kitchen, grabbed a drink and sat down. I told the crew what Stinky hoped he had arranged for me and what it would entail on my part and theirs.

"Seems to me there's no question there," Eugene said. "While I'm sure we will look back at this time together as a very important one, that's not why we're here. Seems this is an excellent opportunity--and an unexpected one--to advance your career and music, and I think that's why you're here and I think we are here to help each other do that. No problem."

"Don't know why you thought it might pose a problem, Matt," Paula said.

"Ok, so it's not a problem," Luke said, "but if he had just assumed it was ok with everyone then that might have been a problem. Paula, not only have we been spoiled, but we have also been mighty self-centered at home. We can't be that way here."

"See your point," Paula answered thoughtfully.

We relaxed and talked about what we had done and what we planned to get done. "But once school starts, we'll have to slow down around here and hit the books. I don't expect anyone to give us an easy ride, or do I want then to," Larry said. "Right now, I suspect we can sand the wall and get it painted. We'll need to take the vacuum cleaner to get up the dust before we paint. I guess the kitchen crew is excused to get dinner ready."

"Yea, let's remember food is the second thought on a teen mind," Eugene laughed. "By the way, Woody, did I see you hitting on my mama?" he asked abruptly. And Woody blushed again and got even redder when we all started laughing.

He was quiet for a while until he was finally able to say, "Well, she is a very attractive woman."

"Well, you just be careful. She has two sons who want to make sure she stays on the straight and narrow."

Woody finally had recovered and said, "Don't think you need to worry about her being straight, but I'm not sure about the narrow."

Laughing, we got up. Larry got the vacuum cleaner and, leaving Paula and Luke behind, we went to the studio and sanded and painted the new wall. Eugene had brought his trumpet and, as soon as the wall was painted, went inside, shutting both doors, and started playing. Because you knew he was playing and listened hard, you could hear some sound. Otherwise, you would never have known he was inside. When he came out his face was a bit red as he asked, "Well, did it work?"

"We could barely hear you and I think that was because we knew you were inside."

"And I was blowing as loudly as I could. Good job!"

Later, we had just finished dinner and the table had been cleared when the phone rang. Luke answered the phone and said, "Eugene, it's for you, Millie."

Eugene talked for a while and then said, "Well, yes, he's here. Ok, bye Mom. Woody, she wants to talk to you. You can take it in the library."

It was twenty or thirty minutes before Woody joined the group. "Millie said she's home and ok, and hello to all of you."

He barely had the words out of his mouth when the phone rang again. This time it was Larry's mom. When he came back from the library, he said, "Paula, your mom wants to talk to you". When Paula left, Larry said, "The two seem to have become friends while they were here. Paula's mom is sleeping over at Mom's place."

The phone rang again just as Paula walked in the door. "It's for us," Luke said, nodding toward me. We went into the library and turned on the speaker phone and talked to Mom and Dad, the Larsens and Andrews, all of whom were at the Larsens'. They had a good trip back, had enjoyed being with us and welcomed the news of what we had done and what was in store for me the following day.

Then Mary Kathryn and Michael got on the phone and we talked with them. They were spending the next day at school, getting ready for the fall term. Bill, Linda and Jacob were joining them. "And, Matt, Luke, I called that asshole Christopher today. He's already hanging out with the-bottom-of-the-scum-pool jerks. Kid's a definite bottom-feeder. Don't know what I can do."

"Think you're going to have to team up on him," Luke said. "You know the bottom-dwellers will take advantage of him as a new student then, when he wises up or runs out of whatever they want, they'll dump him. He will have already shot any possibility of getting in with decent kids and, bingo, he's a mess."

"You gotta try, Lil' Bro," I added. "You can think of ways. What you need to do is find some way to get him to leave that bunch alone. You know what they're into--drugs, alcohol, the whole nine yards. And, of course, they are first class failures so far as school is concerned. If he fucks up in Concord, I suspect he'll have to answer to authorities elsewhere. You gotta try."

"I know, but he's such an asshole."

"Even more reason to try," Mary Kathryn reminded him.

When we finished talking, we went back to the family room and all three organists played for a few minutes each, then we had a snack and headed to bed. When we got to our room, I picked out clothes for the next day. "Tomorrow is going to be one long and exciting day," I said. "We'll get back from Cleveland around six I guess and have a meeting at Oberlin at 8:00. I guess we can grab a bit to eat somewhere."

"If you're here by six, you'll have time to eat with us and we'll want to hear how things went. We'll plan supper for 6:00 and you can eat and make Oberlin by 8:00. This is important, not just to you but to all of us, and we'll want to hear all about it."

I realized Luke was right. We really were all in this together and what I did the next day would mean something to all of us, not just me.

It had been a long hard day for both of us so, after some gentle kisses and whispered I love you-s, we wrapped our arms around each other and were soon asleep, but not before I had reviewed the day and given thanks for all that had been given me. With family, friends and supporters, I was blessed beyond measure.

Chapter Two

Luke

When I awoke, I looked at the clock and saw it was 7:00 in the morning. I started to turn over and go back to sleep until 7:30 when I needed to get up and help Paula with breakfast, but didn't. Instead, I raised up on one elbow and looked at Matt lying beside me. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with love for this man--and his for me, of that I was sure. I slowly slipped out of bed so as not to disturb my sleeping lover and sat beside the bed, just adoring his beauty. He was sleeping very peacefully on his back, his magnificent hair a dark cloud covering his pillow and the rumpled white sheets. His dark, hard body rested on that cloud of black hair, his long, black eyelashes on his cheeks. The sunlight coming in the window made the scars on his cheek stand out and I was suddenly aware of just how he had suffered because of me--and of how his suffering had brought us together.

As I looked at him I thought, "Sure, I love sex with my Dark Angel but he means more, a whole universe more, than sex to me. I love this man unconditionally. I would give my life for him." Being a normal, lusty eighteen-year-old, I loved sex but I knew that if I could never have sex with my Matt again, I'd still love him, still want to be with him, still be with him so long as he would have me. And I knew, from the very depths of my being, he would always love me, want to be with me, be with me.

As I sat there worshiping, yes worshiping, my Beloved, I heard Paula coming down the hall. Carefully, very carefully so as not to awaken him, I leaned over and kissed Matt gently. He smiled in his sleep and my world, my universe, was complete.

I dressed quickly--shower and shave could wait--and went downstairs. As I entered the kitchen, Paula looked at me and smiled as I kissed her on the cheek. "Kinda slow getting up this morning?" she asked as she smiled.

"To tell the truth," I said, "I got up and then just sat looking at Matt. Paula, I absolutely worship that man. I can never tell him how much he means to me or how much I love him."

"Know the feeling," she replied. "I was thinking just before I went to sleep about how much I thought I had loved Sheldon. Well, I did love him but, you know, Luke, even at the best I never loved him as I do Jacob at the least. There is no comparison. And I miss Jacob soooo much. This is going to be a hard year. And you know what? I don't doubt his love for me--or mine for him--but I do think about being separated and meeting someone who might--I don't know--catch my attention. I don't think I'd ever fall for someone the way I fell for Jacob, nor do I think I'd ever meet anyone I could love the way I love Jacob, but being separated... well, it's hell. That's what it is."

I hugged Paula to myself, held her close and said, "I understand, Paula, but Sis, it'll work out. It has to."

As I released her, she looked up at me and said, "Sis?".

"Yea, Sis. I certainly think of you as a sister. You're a part of this wonderful family that surrounds me."

"Thanks, Luke, that means a lot to me, Bro."

"Me too. But I guess we better get cookin'." Paula laughed as we consulted the menu and found it was a waffles morning. "By the way," I said as I got out the ingredients for Belgian waffles, "we're having Belgian waffles. I found an iron for making them a couple days ago." I walked Paula through the preparation of the batter, easy enough unless you have never cooked anything beyond a box of mac and cheese, and she started cooking waffles as I set the table--with Stinky and Woody added to the group, we decided to use the dining room--and prepared a bowl of fresh fruit, and put syrup and butter in a pan to heat.

We had just taken the first waffles out of the iron when the crew--including Woody and Stinky but without Matt--appeared, ready for breakfast. Matt was right behind them and, when he appeared, he took my breath away. I guess I was never really prepared to see my love and he always took my breath away. He was dressed in his school blazer--we had each removed the crests from them--gray slacks, white shirt, and red and blue stripped tie. He looked stunning! His wonderful hair had not been braided but was held in a long, black rope by blue bands.

We had decided each meal would have a host but this morning, Matt, who was the designated host, asked Stinky to do the honors. Stinky offered thanks for us, for the food, and petitioned God to watch over us. The amen spoken, we all started eating and carrying on an animated conversation. When breakfast was over, Matt and the two priests left for Cleveland after taking their dishes to the dishwasher. Larry and Eugene cleared the table. They also took care of the pots and pans--which would have been Matt's job--and left the kitchen spotless.

I knew I'd have to shower after working outside, so I just got dressed in work clothes and joined the others in the garden. It was just past 8:30 and the sun wasn't too hot, but gave indication of a very hot day.

Promptly at 10:00, I heard a car drive up and went around the garage just as Mr. Glaze and two boys got out. He met me before I got to the front, extended a hand and said, "Carl Glaze".

"Luke, Luke Larsen, Mr. Glaze," I replied as I shook his hand. "Sure glad you could come."

"Delighted, and call me Carl. As I told you, I really wanted this place and, when I couldn't get it, hoped someone would who would appreciate it. These are my sons, Derrick and Kent. Derrick is a rising junior and Kent starts college at Case Western Reserve next week."

"Kent, Derrick," I said, shaking the hands of two very nice-looking young men. Both had obviously spent a lot of time outdoors, because they were both tanned and their dark brown hair was sun-streaked.

The four of us walked to the garden where I introduced the three working there. "And there's a fifth, Matt, who is in Cleveland talking with Holtkamp about an internship."

As we walked over the garden, Carl took notes. "I see you've begun tackling the weeds. Until they are gone, there's not much you can do. Planning on composting them I see," he observed. "Excellent." As we walked toward the orchard, he said, "I can see where there was a strawberry bed here at one time. There's some plants under the weeds. Since they have been here so long, they are well adapted to the place. Suggest you rescue what you can and then add others. I'll recommend the varieties." He continued to make observations as we came to the orchard. "These are grand old trees," he noted. "Of course, they have been neglected for years but, with proper pruning and some care, they'll produce well I suspect. It's well-balanced too. You have everything that you could grow easily here, so I'd suggest you just care for what you have already and not replace any."

"The pruning could be a problem," I said. "I'm sure that, even though three of us grew up on a farm, we don't know how to go about that."

"I can get you some material on it," Carl said. "It's not too hard. Well, it's not easy either. There's both an art and science to it," he said.

"Do you happen to know anyone who could guide us? I mean someone who could say, 'Cut this here,' not just make suggestions."

"I'd like to myself, but I'm afraid I don't have time. It needs doing and a spray program started as soon as possible."

"Dad, Kent could easily do it," Derrick spoke up. "You know he's as good as you are."

"Not sure I could trust him on someone else's orchard. He's ok, but..."

"Dad, he's every bit as good as you any day of the week," Derrick said, in what seemed to be a "Here we go again" kind of voice.

"Well, Kent, what do you think? Think you could handle this without messing up?"

"Sure, I think so," Kent answered in a kind of hopeless-sounding voice. "Sure, I could."

"Great," I said. "And, of course, we'd expect to pay you for your expertise."

"Not sure about the expertise," Carl said, and he wasn't laughing.

By the time we had finished, the sun was really hot and we all went to the house for a break. Eugene went inside and returned to the sun porch with drinks and snacks. We then sat and went over Carl's notes. He said he would leave them, but I made notes anyway so I'd be clear about what he suggested. When he finished, he said, "There's an awful lot of work here and you'll be busy with school but, I can assure you, every minute you invest in your mini-farm will pay off well."

"Kent, what's your schedule like? When can we begin?" I asked, turning to the older Glaze son.

Kent had seldom spoken while we were walking around, but Derrick was a regular chatterbox. There seemed to be tension between Kent and his father which Derrick knew and, I suspect, faulted his father for. "I have already registered and don't start school until Tuesday. I would work over the weekend if I could get here. Dad, can I have the truck?"

"Not sure. Don't think so. It's Labor Day weekend and there's going to be a lot of traffic. Don't think you could handle that."

"Look, Kent," I said, having decided I would deal with him since it was his decision to make, "we have a guest room and, if you would like, one of us could pick you up and you could just stay here unless you have other plans. That way, when it gets too hot, we could knock off and work early and late, when it's cooler. How does that strike you?"

Kent's face seemed to light up as a smile covered it but, as he looked at his father, the smile quickly faded. "Well, I'm supposed to go to the family Labor Day picnic, otherwise, I'd love to."

"You never take part in family gatherings anyway," Carl said, "so if you want to do this, you'll not be missed."

"Yes, there is definitely something wrong here," I thought, "something bad wrong."

"It's up to you, Kent," Carl said.

"Fine, I'll do it."

"Great!" Larry said. "We can always make room for one more. When do you want someone to pick you up?"

Eugene was standing behind Carl and mouthing, "Now!" over and over.

When Kent caught sight of him, he started to smile, stopped and said, "If one of you could do it now, I could show you the way to my place, pick up what I need and come back."

"Excellent!" Paula said. "Excellent! How would you fellows like to stay for lunch? It will be ready in fifteen or twenty minutes. Nothing special, but we'd be delighted to have you join us."

"I can't. I have to get Derrick home and go on to the office. Kent can if he wants to."

"Dad, you could save part of your trip if I stayed here and went home when someone takes Kent for his things," Derrick said.

"Sure, no problem," Larry chimed in.

"Ok, I see nothing wrong with that," Carl said. "Thanks for the snack and if I can be of any further help, give me a call. I am really anxious to see this place back as it was in its prime, and it's well on its way. Thanks again and I'll see you later." He stood up, we shook hands all around, and he left.

"Paula, I guess it's back in the kitchen with us." I commented, then said to the others, "Lunch in twenty minutes. Get washed up, but Paula and I have dibs on the showers if you want lunch."

"Derrick, Kent, I'll show you the downstairs bathroom," Eugene said.

Eugene

When Luke and Paula came down, Larry and I rushed upstairs and took quick showers to wash off the dirt from our work in the garden. We came down just as Paula finished getting the food on the kitchen table. She and Luke had fixed a huge salad and there were cheeses and cold cuts to make sandwiches. Paula was host and offered thanks for the help we had gotten and for Mr. Glaze, Derrick and Kent, our guests. Then we all dived in. The meal over, Eugene and I cleared the table and started the dishwasher. It was noon and the sun was really hot so we decided we'd not go back to the garden. Instead, Larry, Luke and I showed Derrick and Kent around the house and grounds.

Kent was very impressed with Luke's studio. "I draw," he said, "I don't mean the kind you do, Luke. I plan to be a landscape designer so I do design drawing. I'd sure like to have a place like this to work."

"Well, if you don't live too far away and can drive, you're welcome to set up a drafting table here," Luke offered.

"It's not too far away and I do drive, but I can seldom get the car or truck. Dad doesn't want me to borrow them," Kent said quietly, and Derrick made a definite noise of disgust but said nothing. I didn't push the matter.

When we had completed the tour, I offered to take the two brothers home and bring Kent and his things back. "I'll need to check out what tools you have and their condition," Kent said. "From what I've seen, I suspect everything we need is here, but I'm sure all will need cleaning and sharpening. Let's check."

I went with Kent and Derrick and showed them the tool shed and garage. Kent was right, everything needed was there, including the tools necessary for sharpening and cleaning the pruning implements.

Luke suggested I take the truck so if Kent did need something, we could haul it. The Glazes lived about ten miles from the house in a direction opposite that of Cleveland. Their place was neat--a large old house with well-kept grounds and pretty old trees.

Inside, the house was very cosy and comfortable, not overly decorated, just very livable. Mrs. Glaze met us at the door and Kent got a big smile on his face, the first I had seen from him, when he saw her. He introduced us and told her what was going on. "I'm glad," she said. "I know how you hate the family get-togethers, especially all the jock games they play. How can I help you get ready? Do you need anything other than work clothes?"

Kent looked at me with a question on his face. "Maybe a pair of slacks and a neat shirt--nice casual I think it's called. He probably won't need them, but we may decide to do something special. Oh, yea, and a swim suit. I'm sure we'll be in the lake."

"I can take care of that, Mom," Kent said and went upstairs.

"I'm really pleased Kent's going to be with people his own age who will appreciate his skills and talents," Mrs. Glaze said. "Heaven knows it happens seldom and the family get-togethers are horrible for him, poor kid."

I wanted to ask why, but thought better of it. If Kent wanted me to know, he would tell me. "I'm sure he's getting into some hard work, but we'll also have fun. Hey, it's the last weekend before school starts."

Mrs. Glaze asked how we came to be in the house and a hundred other questions. I smiled at myself at some of them, as she would sneak in a zinger now and again. For example, I was caught off-guard when she, somehow, asked about our drinking, smoking--those sorts of things--but she seemed satisfied with my answers.

When Kent came down, he was carrying a gym bag and what were obviously his own pruning tools. "There's a couple things outside I need to get," he said, and kissed his mom on the cheek. He seemed almost happy, very different from before.

"Oh, Mrs. Glaze, I'm sure you want our phone number," I said as I handed her a card. Luke had gotten carried away and designed an attractive "business" card for us. "Feel free to call anytime and I hope we can have you over for dinner soon," I told her. "I mean after we get settled in school. I suspect the next couple or three weeks will be pretty hectic as we struggle with five new schedules."

"I'm sure they will. Take care of my boy," she said as she extended her hand.

I was very surprised on the way home. Kent was absolutely talkative, laughing and obviously enjoying himself. I wondered if he was the same person who had been with me earlier.

We got back to the house in early afternoon. It was still too hot to work in the sun, so Kent had me gather up the tools and showed me how to clean them. "I'll do the sharpening," he said. "There's a right way and a wrong way to do that and if you do it the wrong way, you can damage the tool." He worked quickly and it was obvious he knew what he was doing. As he worked, he simply oozed confidence and self-assurance.

When the tools were ready, Kent, Larry and I went to the orchard. We started clearing weeds, waiting for Luke and Paula, who had some things to do in the kitchen for dinner. When the two joined us, Kent demonstrated how and what to prune, then said, "What I really need to be sure you understand is how. For the time being at least, I'll point out what and where." Larry was going to town with the weed-eater, clearing around the trees. As soon as he had cleared five, he joined the pruning crew.

It was still hot and the work wasn't easy so we took it slowly, but it still went faster than I anticipated. After we had each pruned half or so of the tree we were working on to Kent's satisfaction, Paula went to the house for drinks. The four of us sat under the newly pruned apple tree Kent had finished--he was fast--and sprawled out on the grass which had managed to grow underneath the weeds. Kent had a thousand questions and we were talking like mad when Paula appeared behind the garage. When Kent saw her, he more or less blurted out, "Strange, one woman and four men living together." The three guys looked at each other, "Do we or don't we?" written on our faces.

"Yea, I guess it looks strange," Luke finally said, "but we are like brothers and sister. Kinda one big family that all got into Oberlin and got the opportunity to purchase this place. It was ideal. And don't go falling for that good-looking woman, Kent, she's got a redhead back home who wouldn't like it and I'm positive you'd never get to first base, but she is one good-looking woman, isn't she?"

Kent nodded just as Paula walked up with a jug and glasses. The lemonade she brought sure was refreshing! We answered a thousand questions Kent had: "Where was home? Why Oberlin? What were our majors? How did we get the house? When would Matt get back? What was Matt doing while we sweated?" He laughed when he asked the last one. By the time we had sat for half an hour, we had told him just about all that was to tell except about Larry and me and Luke and Matt being couples and anything that might have hinted at that. I wasn't sure how he'd take that. I never am when I meet someone, and it's a real drag.

We got up and tackled the trees again. Kent seemed pleased with our work and, even though he had to stop often to answer a question or point out where to cut, he finished another tree long before any of us had finished our first. Then he started helping first one, then another. Each tree went faster because as soon as one was finished, rather than starting a new one, we'd help someone who hadn't finished. It was 5:00 before we had a dozen trees done to Kent's specifications--Kent had done four while the four of us had each done two. "Well, we're over half finished with the pruning," Kent observed. "This is not a small orchard."

"Luke and I are finished with pruning for today," Paula said, "we need to go work on dinner. It has to be prompt because Matt has that appointment tonight."

After she and Luke left, Kent said, "I think you might learn faster if we all work on the same tree".

"I'll weed eat under another," Larry volunteered, picked up the weed-eater and went to work.

"I hope you're enjoying this as well as earning some money," I said to Kent.

"Oh, I am," he replied. "I absolutely love it. Besides, it got me out of a family gathering which I hate."

"Sorry to hear that, I mean that you hate family gatherings," I said. "I don't know what I'd do without my family--my extended family which extends quite a ways. Our family gatherings are always great, but then if we were talking about biological parents, it's a very different story. I don't even know where my biological parents are. They kinda abandoned me last year and disappeared. But my adopted mom and the rest of the whole extended family are very important to me and I love being with them."

"Sometimes I wish my family--well, no, not my family, my dad's family and his relatives--would abandon me. I'd sure like to abandon them. Well, to tell the truth, they have abandoned me except I'm still around."

"If you want to talk about it, I'll listen," I said softly, "but I don't want to pry."

Kent hung his head and was silent. I knew he was struggling with himself about what to say to this stranger. When I looked up, Larry was headed toward us but, even before I could signal him, he raised a hand and walked toward another tree and started work again.

Without raising his head, Kent said, "My dad thinks I am a royal fuck-up. He has from the day I was born. I was born with a heart defect and he seems to think that it is my fault--I mean everything else is. The doctors did what they could at the time, but they had to wait until I was older to do more. I was in the hospital for weeks just before I started school, then just before I went to junior high and finally when I was in junior high. Before the last operation, I had to be very careful. I had little strength and almost any activity put a strain on my heart. After the last operation I was fine, but I guess the damage had been done to any relationship with Dad."

"See, Dad was a super-jock. He was a junior high, high school and college football and basketball hero and felt--feels--that you're not a real man unless you are a super-jock as well. I guess part of that comes from growing up dirt poor and sports giving him an education and a good life but, as much as I might have wanted to follow in his footsteps, I was lucky to be able to walk, much less do sports. To be honest, I don't know what Dad said when he was told about my heart shortly after I was born, but I know what he thought, 'Why do I get a reject?' and he has always treated me that way. I can't do anything that pleases him and I try, God knows I try. I am always trying, only to be shot down. It really hurts when I do something I know is excellent and all he does is find fault. But I keep trying to please him, well, I did until I finally realized it was not going to happen so now I just try to please myself--'course that's pretty hard too."

"After surgery in junior high, I could do anything I wanted and started working out. I ran track and played baseball and was runner-up in the state tennis meet last year, but those are, in his mind, not sports. 'Why can't you be a real man and play a real sport instead of getting all dolled-up in a neat white uniform?' he said when I told him I was runner-up in the state tennis meet. I just about lost it, but he didn't seem to notice."

"At the end of my junior year in high school, he got it in his head I was queer. One night at dinner he just flat-out asked 'Kent, are you queer? I think you must be. You never go out with girls and I see you with those sissy tennis players all the time.' I told him I wasn't queer and that I didn't go out because I hadn't met a girl I wanted to go out with. 'Well, you better find one or everyone will know you're a sissy queer,' he said. I had been called Sissy in grade school and the first part of junior high because I couldn't do anything and because I was physically weak and under-developed. Then, after I was well and started working out, I had been called Sissy so long no-one, including me, thought anything about it. I mean, it was just my nickname. But when Dad said that, a nickname I had accepted became poison. Then, last Labor Day at the family gathering, there were a lot of jokes and a lot of serious--well, I don't know that it was serious, religious is a better word I guess--talk about perverts, fags and queers. Dad said, 'I hate to admit it, damn I hate to admit it, but I'm afraid I have one of those perverts living in my house. I think Kent is as queer as a three dollar bill.' You can imagine the hell I suffered for the rest of the day."

"But you're not gay?" I asked.

"No, I'm not. What I said was true. I had never met a girl that I liked or at least one I liked that liked me. Well, that is until just after Thanksgiving last year. A new student joined my AP physics class..."

"How'd you do on the exam?" I asked.

"Made a four. Did you take AP physics?"

"Sure did. All of us did. All fours except Matt. He made a five. His dad is the AP physics teacher, but don't think he gave Matt anything he didn't give all of us. Sorry to interrupt. But, since I have, wasn't your dad happy with that result?"

"No, he pitched a royal fit because I didn't make a five. Anyway, this new girl became my lab partner. She was really fun and I grew to like her a lot. I finally got up the courage to ask her for a date and, when I told dad, I thought he'd be happy. He wasn't and, had Mom not put her foot down, he wouldn't have let me have the car. We went to a movie after eating at Pizza Hut and when we came out of the theater, there was a freak snow storm going on. We started home and got to within a mile of her house when all traffic was stopped. We sat in the car, waiting for the snow plow. At first it was kinda fun. We sat and talked, I mean really talked but, after almost an hour, I began to get worried. Then I remembered the cell phone but, when I reached for it, the holder was empty. I knew Dad had taken it out. 'Can't have you running up a cell phone bill,' he had said earlier."

"It was well after midnight when we were finally able to move, and when we reached Christine's place--her name is Christine Jordan--and I called home, Dad pitched a fit. Seems, to his mind, the snowstorm was simply an excuse I was making. He even found a way my not having the cell phone was my fault. Go figure. The Jordans insisted that I spend the night and Mrs. Jordan called my mom and told her it was too dangerous for me to be out. The upshot of that was that Dad now says I can't be trusted with the car so I'm stuck. And the fact that I don't date--and man, I'd like to--means I'm queer."

Kent fell silent and I joined him in his silence. What was there to say? I mean if it had been one of us I would have given him a big hug, but I wasn't sure he'd welcome that. Finally he said, "Well, let's get the tools together, cleaned and put them away if dinner is at 6:00."

As soon as the tools had been cared for, we went to the house, showered and dressed for dinner.

Everything was ready, the table set and food waiting to be brought in when Matt burst through the front door--and I mean burst. He ran straight to Luke, grabbed him and planted a no-holds-barred kiss on his lips as he swung him around. "Luke, Babe..."

Larry broke in with, "Matt, we have a guest."

Matt

I woke up, again without Luke beside me. I would be very glad when this week was over. Even If I were on kitchen duty next week, Luke would be beside me in the morning. I hopped out of bed as soon as I remembered what was happening that day and showered, trying to keep my hair as dry as possible, bound my hair and started to get dressed. I was sure nice casual clothes would be ok, but after I had thought about it the night before, decided to wear a blazer and tie. I mean I wanted to show all possible respect to Mr. Holtkamp. I was glad I dressed as I did because, when I got downstairs, Woody and Stinky were dressed in clericals.

I was so excited I could hardly eat breakfast and as soon as it was over, the three of us headed for Cleveland Heights. Fortunately, rush hour was nearing its end and we were not going into Cleveland proper at first, so we made it to St. William's with time to spare. "Harry won't be here for an hour," Stinky said as we walked toward the back door of the church--it's really the front, but the front of the church is were the altar sits. "I wanted to give you an hour to get used to this organ and its registration," he added.

A middle-aged man with a shock of silver hair met us just inside the church. "Kevin, this is Matthew Greywolf. Matt, Fr. McCall," Stinky said as I shook hands with the priest.

"I understand you're here to impress Harry Holtkamp," he smiled. "Good luck. He doesn't impress easily. The organ's unlocked and waiting for you. Woody, Stinky, I think I can find some coffee if you like and we can let the young man practice in peace." The three left and I walked to the organ. The church was huge, as was the organ. I looked around a while before I approached the console and, when I did, I was a bit overwhelmed with the organ it commanded. I was tentative at first, but gradually warmed up to the instrument and then started having a ball.

I hadn't realized how much time had passed until the three reappeared and Stinky said, "Harry Holtkamp has just pulled in the parking lot, Matt. Maybe you'd like to come down and meet him." I must admit, what I really wanted to do was continue playing.

Mr. Holtkamp came in the back and introductions were made. "So you're the young man with whom I am supposed to be impressed," he said after the introductions. "What do you think of the instrument? You can be frank. My dad designed and built it, so it's not my baby you're talking about."

I assured him that I had nothing but good to say about the organ and he said, "Great. Dad designed it, Holtkamp built it and it's still one of my favorites. I'm sure some of my feeling for it is sentimental, but it is a great organ. Now why don't you show me you are its equal."

I played several small Bach pieces, some more contemporary ones, and the organ transcription of "Light" from "Yonghon Tongmu". When I finished those, I did the most difficult Bach piece I knew and turned on the organ bench to look at the four men. "I was a bit afraid to ask since a lot of organists feel it's not quality music," Mr. Holtkamp said, "but after that next-to-last piece--who wrote that by the way? I don't think I have ever heard it."

"I did," I answered.

"Don't get me wrong, but it's not Bach and if you can play that--incidentally, I really liked it--you shouldn't mind a request. Could you by any chance play a bit of that show-off piece, Widor's 'Toccata' from his 'Fifth'?"

As I turned to face the console, I smiled and said under my breath, "Thank you, Millie!" and ripped into the piece. The organ was larger than any I had ever played, and St. Mary's would sit inside St. William's chancel. No wonder St. Mary's organ had been considered much too large: it was! The reverberation in St. William's was unbelievable! The Holtkamp remained clear, sharp and bright as the toccata built and built, filling the whole church with sound. I must admit, I hadn't played many bars before I had slipped "off this mortal plain" into the world only my music--and my Luke--can take me. When I finished, I was physically wrung out but on a emotional high as I just sat on the bench, my head lowered, listening as the sound gradually faded away. Man! What an experience!

When I finally turned around, all four men were standing. I nodded to them and all four started applauding--Mr. Holtkamp really getting into it. I felt the red gradually starting at my feet and working its way to my neck before a full-grown blush flushed my face. The four kept applauding as I slipped off the bench and walked toward them.

"Young man, I don't know whether or not you'll ever learn squat about building an organ but you sure can handle one when it's put together. You are simply great and I have heard many of the top-notch performers," Harry said as he grabbed my hand. "And you sure got the hang of this organ quickly. I'm sure that with some time on it, you'd be even better, but I'm not sure where the improvement would be."

"Thank you, Sir," I replied. "I'm honored to play this great instrument. You know it has to be half of the equation."

"True," Harry nodded, "but I can tell you, even this instrument of Dad's can be made to sound terrible--I've heard it when I wanted to choke the organist. Thanks, Matthew."

"Thank you, Sir."

Mr. Holtkamp turned to the three priests and said, "You know, I've done a lot of work in the south and I love polite southern young men. Makes me feel old, but I like it." Turning to me he said, "Thanks again, Matthew..."

"I really prefer Matt, Sir," I said.

"Fine, Matt it will be if I can quit being sir. I had planned, to be frank, to make this short, thinking my old buddies Stinky and Woody had just got swept away in the Sewanee heat. But since I have been proven wrong, I need to call the office and make arrangements to be "out of the office" to all but the most important calls. Point me to the phone, please, Kevin."

Fr. McCall said, "Around the corner there, Harry. Surely you remember." Mr. Holtkamp slapped himself upside the head, waved and walk away. "Great job, Matt. How'd you like to do an occasional Sunday? Our organist resigned right after Easter and we are in the process of hiring a new one. In the meantime, we have a supply organist come in for a few Sundays. Most are candidates for the job, but not necessarily. If you'll give me your number, I'll have the chair of the organist committee call you. That is, if you're interested."

"Sure," I replied as I handed him one of the cards Luke had designed for The Oberlin Five.

He glanced at it and said, "Nice. The Oberlin Five is it?"

"Long story, but a great one," Woody said as Mr. Holtkamp came back into the church.

"Got that arranged. How about an early lunch? We can talk over that, then go to the studio."

"Sounds great," Stinky said, "at least so long as you're buying."

"Think I can manage that," Mr. Holtkamp laughed. "Kevin, care to join us?"

"Wish I could, but I have a pain-in-the-ass mother coming to discuss 'the wedding of the year'. Her daughter finally landed someone."

"Thanks, Father," I said as I shook Fr. McCall's hand. "And if you need assistance handling a grande dame and her wedding plans, I have a sixteen-year-old brother who does it well.

"There has to be a story there which I want to hear--and soon," Fr. McCall said as he turned to leave.

Mr. Holtkamp took us into a pretty seedy looking area of the city and to a restaurant that didn't look too good. "I know it looks pretty rundown, but Italian food you wouldn't believe is to be found right here," he said as he parked. It was obvious he showed up there often, as everyone knew him. When we sat down, he said to a man with an apron tied about his waist, "Just bring it on, Harry".

"Harry?" Woody asked.

"Yea, his mother, who still helps out in the kitchen at eighty-five, decided she'd give him a real American name when he was born and chose Harry. He kids me about having an Italian name. The woman still speaks so little English she's often hard to understand, but will remind you in a heartbeat she's "all American, by God!" Mr. Holtkamp laughed. He said the food would be great and, man, was he ever right! It was excellent! I guess I was coming down from an emotional high which had burned a lot of energy, because I ate like a pig.

When we finished lunch, we went to the studio and I was given the grand tour. We started with a letter asking about designing an organ for a church in St. Louis and then worked our way through design, modifications, case design, building, step-by-step. "This is fascinating," I said, shortly before the tour ended, "but I'm not sure I can remember a fraction of it."

"I hope not!" Mr. Holtkamp laughed. "If you could, I'd be out of business. Today I just wanted you to get a feel for the whole process and all that's involved in it. If you decide to come as an intern, you'll gradually learn it all, but it takes time, a lot of time. So are you interested?"

"I didn't think there was any question about that," I responded. "Of course I'm interested. The question, as I understood it, was whether or not you'd take me on."

"You're right. That WAS the question, but the question's changed. I'd like very much to have you full-time, but I know that's not going to happen. But to be of any real benefit to you, you need whole days at least. So I take it you are interested."

"Am I!" I practically shouted.

"Fine. See what you can work out with Oberlin and give me a call. I think I told Woody you'd have to pay your own expenses and buy me lunch when you're here."

"Think you got that backwards," Woody laughed. "YOU are to pay expenses and buy Matt lunch."

"Well, Matt, I know you understand that you'll not be contributing to the company when you start, and won't be for some time," Mr. Holtkamp was serious. "But I do want to make it as easy as possible on you. I'll cover your travel expenses. And, Woody, you'll pay for his lunches," he laughed, then turned to me and said, "Shake?".

"Shake," I replied as we shook hands.

"Great! And, if you're interested, I'd work up some good stuff for the time Kevin calls you--and you can bank on his calling. Think you might just find a job offer there."

I was shocked at the idea, but intrigued as well.

I know Woody and Stinky must have thought I was on speed, from my absolute verbal diarrhea on the way home. I couldn't stop talking about the day, and the more I talked, the more excited I became, and the more excited I became, the more and faster I talked.

Woody finally said, "Hey, Kid, slow down. You're not making sense!" and laughed.

I tried to slow down and stop talking, but the whole cycle started again. Woody had barely got the car stopped in the drive before I jumped out and ran into the house. Luke was standing in the dining room and I was so excited, I saw no-one except my Bright Angel.

Eugene

As soon as Larry said, "Matt, we have a guest," Matt looked around, saw Kent and turned ninety-nine shades of red, each more vivid than the one before. "Holyyyyy shit," he said, sounding exactly like Michael as he dropped Luke.

"Kent, this is Matt. Matt, Kent. I apologize, Kent, I should have told you this afternoon when we were talking, but I was afraid... well, I was just afraid. But I guess now it's pretty obvious. Matt and Luke are a couple. In fact, as nearly as gay men can be married, they're married and have had their union blessed by a priest. If you're really uncomfortable with the situation, I'll take you home now or after dinner."

Kent was still looking thunderstruck, then got a strange look on his face. "And you and Larry are also a couple, right?"

"Yes, we are."

"I knew you had some kind of special relationship from the way you look at each other." Kent then started laughing. "It's no wonder no-one is concerned about Paula living with four men. She's as safe as she would be in a nunnery--maybe safer! It's all very strange. I mean, I don't understand it but, no, I'm not uncomfortable, I guess--at least not enough to want to go. No, just give me time. I can and will deal with it. I know it shouldn't make a difference, but somehow or other it does. But that's my problem. Nice to meet you, Matt. Larry called you a wild Indian earlier today and now I can understand why. Well, I guess I got a strange look when you kissed Luke, I'm sure I did, but I don't think I'm uncomfortable now. And, Eugene, I apologize for the language I used this afternoon. Sorry."

I started to say that it was ok and it was a matter of indifference, but that was not true. The words did make a difference. But it was clear Kent was making an honest apology and I just said, "Accepted".

Woody and Stinky walked in during the drama and just stayed silent. Bless them! They were dressed in clericals and I guess that was another shock to Kent. "Oh, Kent, these are two of our friends, Woody and Stinky--have to tell you the story of Stinky's name later. Or maybe he or Woody will. Woody, Stinky, this is Kent, Kent Glaze. He's the county agent's older son. Well, are we going to eat or not?" You can imagine the table conversation was lively and Kent joined right in. He roared when Woody told how Stinky got his nickname. Since Matt and the two priests were pressed for time, we heard a condensed version of Matt's day and he a condensed version of ours. I knew we'd be in for a grand round of talks when the three got back from Oberlin.

After dinner, and the kitchen chores handled, we all settled in the family room and relaxed. Woody and Stinky, of course, had gone with Matt to Oberlin.

Paula put on some nice music and we were just kinda mellowed out--we had put in a good day's work, especially considering the heat, and down time was welcome. Finally, Kent said, "I don't want to intrude or meddle in someone else's business, but could I ask you guys some questions?".

"Sure," Larry said, "but we always reserve the right not to answer."

"Fair enough. First off, when did you know you were gay and how did you know it? I mean, well, Dad tells people I am gay. I don't think I am, but maybe I am. How do I know?"

That was the beginning of a rather long conversation. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at Kent's ignorance, but I was. I mean he was eighteen--soon to be nineteen--and he knew very little about being gay--or about sex for that matter. I was astonished at how little he did know. I was sure glad Paula was there because she often was able to explain things Larry and I could not, and sometimes--I guess--would not explain. After an hour's conversation, Kent asked, "Then you think I would know it if I were gay, even as ignorant as I am--was?"

"Yea, I think that's safe to say," Larry said.

"But what if I decided to turn gay? Don't know why I would, but suppose I did."

"I suppose you could decide you would have sex with a man--I mean people decide to have sex with sheep, for heaven's sake--but that's not what makes you gay. You might even get involved in what some call the gay lifestyle, but that doesn't make you gay. At least, I don't think so. You just are gay. If you are, you're born that way," Luke said.

"Thanks, guys, and Paula. Not only have you helped me a lot, but I think I understand you two couples better. Thanks. And I know I'll feel more comfortable with you four. Gee, I thought when I found out you were gay, you'd be after me."

"Nope, got all I ever hoped or dreamed for," Larry laughed as he leaned over and kissed me. Luke agreed.

"Oh, Kent, Woody and Stinky are taking us out to dinner tomorrow. Sort of paying us back for taking Matt away today while we worked. These three guys and I have to go to Oberlin to register. Our appointment's for 9:00, but that means nothing from what I have heard. Anyway, plan to go to dinner with us," Paula said, just as the three who had been at Oberlin came in. It was easy to see things had gone well because Matt was all smiles.

"Think dessert is in order," Luke laughed as he met Matt, gave him a quick kiss, grabbed his hand and dragged him to the kitchen. They came back a few minutes later with bowls of ice-cream topped with fresh strawberries. "Next year, these will be OUR strawberries," Luke said as he and Matt started sitting the bowls on the table. When we had all gathered round, I said, "Ok, Matt, out with it. You look like you just won the lottery."

"I feel like it too," he laughed. "Well, we were to meet with the head of the organ department--Professor Isadore Moler, remember him?--but it turns out the head of the whole music department--Professor Roger Stewart--and a couple of college officials met with us. Professor Moler said ordinarily he would have had to hear me play before he assigned an advisor but, since he had heard me already, he was pulling rank. 'He's mine,' he said and thumped his chest like he was Tarzan the ape man."

"Anyway, they asked about my time with Harry Holtkamp and I told them. 'I assume, then, he'll be your supervisor if you are granted independent study,' one of the officials said. Stinky told them he would be and had given Woody a letter to that effect, which Woody handed them. Stinky also told them, if it were at all possible, Mr. Holtkamp wanted me two full days a week. Professor Stewart said he didn't think that would be possible, but they would see what could be done. Among them, they listed the courses I needed to take, after Professor Stewart reminded them of the classes I would not have to take but for which I would get credit because of AP courses. 'The young man is practically a sophomore already,' he said and started trying to work out a schedule. Professor Stewart said it looked pretty hopeless and the others--except Professor Moler--agreed. Moler spoke, 'Look, we're going at this the wrong way. We're trying to fit Matt into a schedule. Why don't we try to fit a schedule to Matt? He laid out six blocks of six and then crossed out the second and fourth ones. 'That's Tuesday and Thursday, for Holtkamp,' he said. 'Now let's begin plugging in classes.'

"'You're giving him a Saturday class?' one of the officials--I think his name was Simmons--asked. 'Of course, if that's what's needed,' Professor Steward said. Well, everything started falling into place except for so-called freshmen courses. 'Look, they're freshmen courses because most freshmen, let's face it, have no real idea of what they want to do. There's no real reason for him taking them this year. Besides, there's only a couple left since his AP credits cover most of them,' Professor Moler argued. Everything had fit in--with my taking 9:00 a.m. classes when I am at Oberlin and including one Saturday morning--except P.E. I though that would be no problem but, apparently, you just can't avoid it your freshman year. 'Play any sports?' Simmons asked. I told him I had played baseball in high school and was a fair tennis player. 'Fine, sign him up for those teams,' Simmons said. When I said I might not be good enough, they all laughed. 'Matt, there are so few men in liberal arts colleges these days, if you can walk you can probably make a team," Simmons laughed.

"So, Gang, everything is signed and sealed and turned in. I don't have to go back tomorrow, so I can work in the orchard with Kent. Well, so far as Oberlin is concerned that's true. I think we need to sit down and talk about it because it involves all of you. I mean, I'll get in late two days a week and will miss Saturday morning things. I think I'll be a drag on the whole household." It was clear those thoughts had just hit Matt because his happy face disappeared quickly.

"Council meeting," Paula said. "Oh, Kent, Woody, Stinky, you are free to stay or leave, but we need to deal with this now." The group discussed Matt's schedule and how it would impact us but, finally, we didn't know because we didn't have our schedules.

We talked about that until Eugene said, "Look, why are we playing 'What if'? We'll know our schedules tomorrow and we can lay out the house schedule then. Right now I say we celebrate Matt's good news and I, for one, say we'll see that you get the time you need--and work your ass off when you are here!" We all laughed and I could see Matt relax.

We sat around the table another half hour while Matt found out what had been going on while he was away, and while he told us more details of his day. Just before we broke up for the evening, Kent said, "Man, I wish I could look forward to living in a group like this. I have never known anyone, including my dad--well, my mom, maybe--who is as concerned about me as all of you seem to be about each other. It must feel great."

"Yeah, it sure does," Matt said and we all nodded in agreement. "It sure does."

Chapter Three

Larry

Ordinarily Gene was awake before I was, but this morning I was awake an hour before I would normally have even thought about getting out of bed. Maybe it was because I had gone to bed thinking about registering today and what surprises that would hold. Anyway, I was awake and turned to look at Gene lying beside me.

I don't know what made waking up beside Gene different these days. We had all the privacy we wanted at his place with Millie, and had slept together most nights for several months now. Here we had much less privacy than there, but waking up with Gene beside me was different. I think it might be that when we were at Millie's, it was always Millie's place, or maybe even Gene's place. This was OUR place and it was becoming more ours every day with every drop of sweat from working on it.

As I continued gazing at my sleeping love, I recalled the day we met and smiled. I had been struggling then with my sexuality, but didn't really know it. When he rescued me--the new kid on the block--from some school bullies, he immediately became my idol. He was big, taller by three inches than I was, and very well built. He wasn't then--and when I can be objective about him now--knockout handsome. His features are nice, strong, but he is pretty average-looking to someone who doesn't love him as I do. Gene isn't as dark as Matt, but he is dark with straight black hair and deep, deep brown eyes with gold flecks which have fascinated me from the first time I looked into them.

Now, I am taller and--unlike the runty kid Gene rescued--have a firm, hard body. Gene gave that to me by insisting I work out with him. While Matt and Luke are a study in contrast, Gene and I are a study in monochrome because I, too, am dark, but Gene is dark in an olive-complexion kind of way. My darkness comes from a more red--my mom says red brick--kind of complexion. I sometimes think the term red man could be applied to me. And unlike Gene's dark eyes, mine are... well, they are green when I wear certain colors and blue when I wear others. Don't know--or care--what the rest of the world thinks, but Gene tells me they are the most beautiful eyes in the world and I do not object when he says that.

While I idolized Gene after his rescue, and spent every moment I could with him, I refused to accept what I knew to be true--I loved him and I was gay. Even now as I thought about how violent my struggle to avoid admitting it became, tears formed in my eyes. Anyone less a man than Gene would have had my ass--a pretty poor expression it occurs to me!--for what I did to him trying to deny I was gay. I just hope I can love Gene as much as he loved and loves me.

With those thoughts still in my mind, I leaned over and kissed Gene ever so softly but, even with the barest touch of my lips to his cheek, his brown eyes opened, he smiled and pulled my lips to his for a passionate kiss. Breaking our kiss, Gene said, "How about our getting rid of dragon mouth and then making love?".

"Race you," I said.

"Only if you can be quiet," he laughed softly.

I slipped out of bed and waited until Gene slid his legs off the side of the bed, then swept him into my arms and carried him to the bathroom. I guess it was by common agreement but, aside from playing in the shower--and that was understood--there was no playing around in the bathroom, so there was no need to fasten the door to Matt's and Luke's room. I set Gene on his feet and we both grabbed toothbrushes after a morning piss. Teeth brushed, I reached for Gene but, as always, he was quicker and I felt myself lifted off the floor in his strong arms.

He kicked the bathroom door to close it, and I grabbed it just in time to prevent it slamming. When he reached the bed, he very unceremoniously tossed me on it and, quick as lightning, covered my body with his. His mouth found mine and his tongue invaded it, bringing with it the fresh taste of Gene and toothpaste. His kisses became more and more aggressive and his hands started moving over my body rapidly. When I tried to break our kiss, he reached behind my head and pulled my lips tighter against his and soon he was breathing through my mouth and nose. God, he was hot and so was I! I could feel his hardness pressing into my own as he continued to rub my chest with his free hand.

He finally moved his lips from mine and started kissing my eyes, ears--taking a nibble or two there--my neck, and when he moved to my chest, sucked a nipple--hard--into his mouth, and his tongue went to work on its hardened tip. One of his hands found my hard, pulsating manhood and rubbed the precum which was flowing freely from it over the white-hot iron rod. Stroking it slowly, he moved down my body and suddenly I felt his hot mouth covering my manhood, his tongue performing miracles on it. By this time, I had ceased moaning softly and was whispering, "Yes! Gene! Yes, Babe!" over and over again. Finally, I could hold out no longer and my back arched as my gift to Gene filled his mouth and skyrockets exploded in my head. When the last spasm of my climax shook me, I fell back on the bed, drained. But Gene was not finished.

I felt his fingers exploring, moving past my now-empty seedpods until he reached the entrance to that sacred place, a place he called his holy of holies--the place where we truly meet, he had said when I asked why that name. Relaxed, I knew he had reached into the bedside table drawer when I felt his now-slick fingers enter that place--first one then, after it had done its work, a second and finally a third. As they moved inside me I whispered, "I need you, Gene, Babe, I need you!".

Gene raised his head from where it had been resting on my chest, his beautiful, loving eyes looking into mine. He smiled and slid between my legs as he spread then raised them over my chest. He paused and I knew he was making sure his man's tool was well covered with lubricant, then I felt it at the entrance of my tunnel and he slowly, gently, entered me as I encouraged him. He buried himself in me all the way to the hilt, was very still for a few moments, allowing me to get used to and savor his being in me, and then started moving slowly in and out. I was in heaven as he filled me with himself and his overwhelming love for me.

I knew he was on the brink and encouraged him, "Deeper, babe, deeper. Give it to me, hard, now!" His movements became faster and more complex because he was not only moving in and out, but also making small circles with his hips as he thrust into me. Finally, he thrust as deeply as possible, his body became rigid and he started filling me with his man's seed and his love. After a final spasm, he collapsed on me and I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. God, how I loved this wild man, my Gene!

As he lay, his head against my heart, we both gradually relaxed, completely, filled with our love for each other. Soon, too soon, I felt Gene slip from me and, as he did, he rolled off my body and lay on his side, smiling, looking into my eyes. I pulled his lips to mine for a slow, gentle, loving kiss.

When I released him, he looked at me and then got a troubled look on his face. I knew what was coming and braced myself for it. "Lar, when am I going to have you inside me? Why won't you make love to me as I have to you? Why am I always--well, almost always--the one who has to start our love making?" The questions were purely what? Not rhetorical but unnecessary, because we both knew the answers. At least Gene no longer asked me if I loved him as he had done many times when we first got together.

I sighed, knowing that, while the questions were really unnecessary, I was expected to answer. "Babe, Gene, I want to, I really do, but I can't. Ever since that day..." Gene put his fingers to my lips to silence me, as he always did when I started to make reference to having raped him, but this time I would not be silenced. "Gene, there are times, many times, when I would like to be the one to initiate our love making. There are times, many times when I'd like more than anything to unite us, to be inside you, but every time I start, I freeze. You know, as well as I, no matter how hot I am and how much I want to be inside you, as soon as I see your rosebud--or if I don't see it, when I place my tool against it--I go limp." I was in agony and Gene knew it. He should have known I would be. "You know that, Babe," I said with pain in my voice, but also with a great deal of impatience.

In response, Gene pulled my lips to his and gave me an angel kiss. Breaking the kiss, his face was very close to mine and his eyes were looking into my very soul as he said, "Yes, Lar, I know. We have come a long way, but I needed reminding--and wanted to remind you--that we have a long way to go before we reach the place where you--we--are free to make love any way we want. We get started back in counseling soon, ok?"

"Ok, Babe, sure," I said without a lot of conviction in my voice.

Gene caught that and said, "Lar, it's not just for you, it's for me as well. Babe, I want us free of the past, please?"

Gene was right, of course. I don't know why I didn't want to go back into counseling. Well, I did too. It was painful and the old wound would be reopened again. I knew in my heart of hearts that it had to be drained, reopened so the poison I had placed there could drain away, but I wished that Gene would just take what I had to give now without putting us both through more pain. Well, that's what I told myself, but it was a lie and I knew it. I wanted us to be free and whole and I was sure that could not be without further pain. Having given myself a talking to, I looked into Gene's eyes and said, "Gene, light of my life, I guess I am just a coward but, of course, I want what you want. Not just for you, not just for us, but also for myself. Yes, as soon we get registered and can locate a good counselor, we'll start again." Gene's brown eyes sparkled, the gold flecks seeming to glow in the morning light, and a smile covered his dark face. "Hell yes, people who don't know him may think he's average, but he is the most handsome man in the world and he is mine," my heart sang.

Gene kissed me, not so gently, and said, "Lar, you are the most beautiful, wonderful man in the whole of my world". We lay entwined in each other's arms, exchanging butterfly kisses until the alarm sounded. As it did, I heard the shower in the bathroom stop and we lay together a few more minutes before crawling out of bed, showering, shaving and dressing for Oberlin.

When we got downstairs, Matt was fixing breakfast alone. "No partner?" Gene asked.

"Since I got a break yesterday, I told Luke I'd do breakfast so he and Paula would only have to worry about registration. I guess I forgot how early I'd have to get up," he laughed. "Did you hear any movement in Kent's room? he asked.

"In the bathroom," I replied, "and I heard Paula singing in her room. Man, it must be great to wake up and feel like singing," I answered.

"Would be nice. Well, since we've been here, I really have felt like singing when I wake up with Luke beside me."

"Know what you mean," I said. "And why do you think that is? I mean haven't you woke up with him beside you most mornings? I mean since you two got together."

"You forget, there were four weeks we were separated, then a week we were out of it and all the other stuff. But, now, I wake up and he's there and I know he will be there tomorrow morning as well. It's different."

"Actually, I was thinking the same thing this morning when I awoke with Gene beside me. While we have spent time apart this summer, I think that's not the reason. I think it's because we're here in our place. You know what I mean?"

"Think I do," Matt said, as he skillfully folded a delicious-looking omelet. "Yea, I think I do. Ok, the others are not down and you don't want a cold omelet, so sit down. This one will be ready in a minute."

Gene and I sat down, drank our juice and, as we finished, Matt brought each of us an omelet surrounded with crisp bacon and perfectly browned toast. It looked scrumptious. Gene and I bowed our heads briefly, crossed ourselves, made our thanksgiving, and dug in. When I used my fork to cut a piece of omelet, I saw that it was filled with red, green and yellow peppers, as well as a few circles of jalapeno, and at least two kinds of cheese.

We had just started eating when Luke and the other two from upstairs came down. "Kent, hot or not?" Matt asked as he prepared to do their omelets.

"Hot or not what?" Kent asked, a puzzled look on his face.

"Peppers in your omelet. Jalapenos or not?"

"I think not--well, just a touch," Kent said. "Never tried that."

"I'll put a tiny bit on one end and you can try it. If you don't like it, you'll still have breakfast. If you want more, I can give you a few bits. Luke will eat all the leftover. He thinks it helps his sex life," Matt laughed.

"You should know," Paula laughed back.

"Doesn't need any help," Matt grinned, "but if he thinks it helps, I'm all for it!" he said and, of course, blushed. I noticed Kent did as well. I needed to have time to talk to Matt before we left to tell him about Kent's situation, but I felt uneasy about it since I hadn't asked Kent if it was ok. I'd take care of that before we left for Oberlin.

"I'll take care of the dishes and all," Matt offered, as he brought Paula, Luke and Kent their breakfast. I noticed Kent looked a bit awkward when Luke and Matt bowed and, when they finished, crossed themselves. Paula, of course, did not cross herself, but it was obvious she offered thanks before she started eating. Something else we needed to talk with Kent about if he was going to be around, and I hoped he would be. As a matter of fact, I had started formulating a plan to make that happen. With all the help and support we had been given, it was time we passed it along.

"We'll at least clear the table," Gene said. "By the way, are Stinky and Woody leaving today? I thought I heard them say they were."

"Tomorrow. They're leaving tomorrow. They're taking us all out to dinner tonight to make up for keeping me all day yesterday," Matt said. They want to hear how registration goes. They will leave early tomorrow. Both have to get back and get ready for Sunday."

"Good morning, Sleepyheads," Paula said as Woody and Stinky entered the kitchen.

"Good morning," both replied.

"Hot or not?" Matt asked.

"Extra hot for me," Woody said.

"Not for me," Stinky answered.

Matt poured coffee for the two and refreshed our cups after he had started their omelets. When he served them, Woody took a bit and said, "I'm not going to be surprised when I come back and find all of you fat as pigs if this cooking keeps up."

"They haven't had any of mine," Gene laughed. "That will be a real weight-losing diet, for sure."

"Which reminds me," Luke said, "Matt, we haven't been running and I think we need to."

"Gotcha," Matt said. "Crew, we start in the morning, early."

"Do we have to?" I asked.

"Well, no, but it would be good for you. You know, once school starts we'll spend a lot of time sitting on our butts, reading and working," Luke said.

"Count us in," Gene said.

"Me as well," Paula added.

When we finished breakfast, we cleared the table, put the dishes in the dishwasher and the others went upstairs to make any final preparation for the trip to Oberlin but, before they left, Gene asked, "How's Mom doing, Woody?"

I swear, Woody did it again. He blushed like a schoolboy, then said, "She's doing great, Eugene. She sends her best to all of you. She also asked me to have you call her tonight and tell her how registration went."

Left alone with Kent, I suggested we go to the library, where I asked him about my talking with Matt since he know little or nothing of Kent's situation. "You certainly can if you like," he said, "but we'll be working together all day and I suspect we'll do some talking."

"Fine, that's great. I just didn't want to say anything without your permission. We all share just about everything, but never with anyone outside the group without permission. We'll talk when I get back."

"That's great," he said, and we returned to the kitchen for a last sip of coffee just as the other three came down.

Gene greeted us with, "Think we need to go in my car," and, after hugging Matt and the two priests, we patted Kent on the back and left.

Matt

Five minutes after the others left, I was finished in the kitchen and ready to go to work after I brushed my teeth. I had put on work clothes when I dressed. Coming out of the bathroom, I met Kent in the hall.

"I'm glad we're working together today," I greeted him. "I feel a bit cheated since the others have gotten to know you and I haven't. But I do know it's good having you here simply from the way my brothers and sister have cottoned to you."

"Cottoned to me?"

"Southern, I guess. It means taken to you. They like you. That's obvious to me and, believe me, I know them so well and they know me so well, we can't fool each other for very long. And, aside from their liking you as a person, they sure appreciate your knowledge and skills. Luke, Larry and I grew up on farms, but I guess we never really learned to prune. That was David's--David Andrews..." I paused to make sure Kent had this, simple to me but confusing to others, family scheme in his mind--he nodded, "...bailiwick. Of course we often helped, but we were told exactly what to do and I guess, as a result, never really learned what we were doing and why."

"Yea, know what you mean. My dad did that for ages, but I finally got to take a horticultural course in high school, my sophomore year, and really got interested in it. A friend, who has moved away now, signed up for several night classes in the continuing education program at the local tech school after we finished the course at school. His dad offered to pick me up, so I started taking classes with him," Kent laughed, "I have taken so many now I have almost as many continuing education units as high school credits. Of course, I could have added them to my high school credits, but I didn't need to."

"Gee, I guess your dad must be proud of your doing that," I said.

"Hardly. Derrick, my brother, says I'm as good or better than Dad, but Dad doesn't see it that way. Sure, I do some things differently, after all horticulture doesn't stand still any more than anything else, but you'd never know that from talking to Dad. He can always find something wrong with everything I do. I used to help him when I was in the "cut this much here" stage, but now he doesn't want me and I'm happy because he'd be all over me all the time I'm working. I do jobs for neighbors and some of their friends--started just for the practice, but now I get paid some, actually, quite well--and have saved all I earned over the last year and a half for college--but if people ask Dad, he always tells them he can't trust my work and if I work for them it's at their risk. But I've been working all I cared to for two years now and people keep coming back and others keep asking. And I have really learned to love the whole horticultural business and want to go into it, especially into landscape design."

"Great!" I said. "I'm convinced loving what you do not only makes your work better, but your life better as well. I know it has for me. I guess we better get started because it looks like another hot day. Man, I thought Ohio being north would be cool. It's hotter here than in the North Carolina mountains."

"Now," Kent laughed, "but wait a couple or three months and you will find it colder than a witch's teat in a brass brassiere," Kent chuckled.

Woody and Stinky came into the kitchen, dressed for work, and Stinky said, "Well, are we working in the cool of the morning, or waiting until it's hot as the hinges of hell outside."

"We're going," I replied as Kent and I downed the last drops of our coffee and went to the orchard with the two priests.

When we reached the orchard, Woody looked over the trees pruned the day before and announced, "Kent, you obviously know what you're doing. Superb job."

"You have an orchard?" he asked Woody.

"Sure do. Seems a rector of St. Alban's some years back had a wife who believed you should plant an orchard when you move to a new place. Priests, at least in those days, often moved after a few years in a parish and she said planting an orchard made her feel permanent and the rectory a home rather than a temporary dwelling. They moved after five years and some of the rectors who followed took care of the orchard, others didn't. The one before me stayed seven years and did nothing for the grove. When I arrived, it looked very much as this one. I didn't know what to do, so I took a couple courses at the tech school and learned how to care for the orchard--at least for starters. I attended classes off and on and have a nice orchard now. The old way of pruning wouldn't have made the trees--especially old trees--as productive as the method you and I use. Of course, Stinky knows very little about what we're doing."

"Neither do I," I added quickly.

"Well, Kent, seems you and I have two jobs, pruning and teaching these two how to do it. I'll take Stinky because I can pull rank if needs be."

"Says he," Stinky laughed as the two went to a tree yards away.

Kent explained what we were doing and how, and we worked on the same tree so he could keep an eye on me and instruct me as I needed it. The sun was out and the temperature rising, so I pulled off my shirt. "Make yourself cool," I said to Kent.

"I would except I don't have sunblock."

"As tanned as you are you need sunscreen?" I asked, hardly believing what he said.

Kent pulled his shirt up, revealing a well-developed chest with huge scars. "The scar tissue burns," he said. "I need more than sunscreen for the scars. I need sunblock."

I wanted to ask what had happened to him, but didn't think I should. "I'll run and get Luke's," I offered.

"Thanks, I'd appreciate that.'

When I returned, I tossed him a bottle of sunscreen and a tube of block. He applied the lotion lavishly to his chest. I could see why his scars were so stark against a decent tan since he went over the scars with block. "Guess Luke told you how I got these," he said.

"No, he didn't," I replied. Kent then told me not only about his surgery, but his father's reaction to having a scarred, imperfect son. I'm sure Kent made an effort to hide the bitterness in his voice, but it was there.

As we worked, he talked more about his relationship to his father, his mother's efforts on his behalf, but most about Derrick's defense of him and his brother's impatience with him for not standing up to his father. "But Derrick's two years younger than I," he said "and I realized how futile it was to try before Derrick saw that I needed to. Now I'll be staying at home, but will be away all day at college--that is if I can arrange transportation. I think I have, but it means a friend who lives near here will have to drive out to my place then back. I'm fairly sure she means well and it will work for a while, but sooner or later I fear the extra miles will be too much. I think it would be for me. Of course, I'll pay her something, but not enough to make up for her expenses and the wear and tear on her car."

After that we talked about what he hoped to accomplish in college, what excited both of us about going to college, and what we feared. I could see why the others had been happy to have him around. After an hour and half working, Woody called over to us, "You youngsters may not need it, but Stinky and I are taking a break. Anything you need from the house?"

"Yea, something cold to drink," I replied.

"Done. Back in a few," Stinky said as they started walking toward the house.

As soon as they passed the garage, Kent asked, "Matt, mind if I ask some pretty personal questions?"

"Not at all, but reserve the right not to answer."

"Strange, that's what Larry said when I asked him the same thing."

"Not so strange. We all do it. It is a reminder that you are free to ask anything you like, but I am free to answer only what I like. So shoot."

"Well, we--all of us at one time or another--talked about being gay yesterday. I must confess I learned a lot and some of it made me very ashamed of myself. But I'm really trying to understand." He then told me about his dad telling people he was gay but, after the night before, he was sure of what he had always thought--he was not. "But I kept wondering how you and Luke and Eugene and Larry knew you were gay and how you found each other."

"That's a two-parter at least and I think really a four-parter," I answered. "But part of it I won't answer. I won't answer anything about Larry and Eugene. They'll have to do that if they want to."

"But you do know?"

"Sure, there are very few secrets among the Fellowship."

"The Fellowship?"

"Yea. Surprised the others didn't tell you, but I guess it never really came up." I then told Kent about the Fellowship and how it came into being.

"And Bill and Linda are straight? And Michael and Mary Kathryn?"

"You better believe it," I laughed. "Seems we almost split the Fellowship into gay and straight when we came up. Except for Paula, of course. How and when did I know I was gay? I guess in one sense, I have always known, but didn't admit it. I do know that I loved Luke as long as I can remember and it was always Luke in my wet dreams and I fantasized about Luke when I, well, you know," I said and blushed. "Luke has always loved me and knew he was gay, I just told myself I loved Luke and it was Luke who said, 'Yea, you're gay'. Took me a while to accept the obvious. How did we find each other? I found Luke in the river." I then told Kent about Luke's attempted suicide and the letter he had left saying he loved me.

"And you didn't know?"

"No, I never dared dream of Luke's loving me as I did him."

Woody and Stinky reappeared carrying a jug filled with ice and lemonade. It was really refreshing.

We worked another hour or so before the heat became unbearable. As we worked, Kent and I talked about our families, things which had happened to us etc., getting to know each other. We stopped working when Woody called a halt. "It's too damn hot to work," he declared. We put down our tools and all walked to the house.

Kent helped me fix lunch. He not only knew horticulture, but food preparation and presentation as well. Lunch was a simple affair, but nothing he prepared was just slapped on a plate. When I commented on it, he smiled and said, "Presentation, presentation, presentation. Even if it's only peanut butter and jelly. It only takes a few minutes to make food look good and I appreciate it. Mom says it's one way I show my love for the family when I cook or prepare food. Dad says it's a waste of time--of course--Derrick used to call it sissy stuff, but I have noticed he's doing the same when he's on meals at home. Well, are we ready?"

"Sure, as soon as I get water and juice to drink."

Just as we were ready to sit down to lunch, the phone rang. I grabbed it and, when I answered, someone asked to speak to Father Woods. "Woody, phone," I said and handed it to him. He talked into the phone for a few minutes and then came to to table where we were sitting. "Stinky, I guess we need to give the kids a raincheck on dinner and go as soon as we find out how registration went. That was the senior warden. Old Mrs. Gatsby died this morning. She was ninety-six and going strong, but just keeled over in her garden this morning--heart attack."

"In that case, we better go. Sure sorry, but we can make it up later," Stinky said.

Woody sat down and I asked him to say the blessing and he did, mentioning Kent and his talent and skills. When he finished, we had before us a lunch which, thanks to Kent, looked as good as it tasted.

When we were about half through, I heard a car pull into the drive, and the four who had been to Oberlin came in. "I hope you four haven't eaten us out of house and home," Paula said. "I'm starved! And does that look good!"

Kent and I got plates, flatware and napkins, and set places for the latecomers and brought some additional food. "Well, how did it go?" I asked, as they each finished their own blessing. "Oh, and by the way, Stinky and Woody have to go. There was a death in Woody's parish. But how did it go?"

"See what time it is?" Larry asked. "That should tell you something. Seems all four of us had been assigned to advisors who are department heads, which I learned is almost unheard of, since they generally only have juniors and seniors and certainly not freshmen. Seniors, who should have preregistered either hadn't or changed their minds, have the privilege of going to the head of an advisor's line, so we did a lot of waiting."

"But it was worth it, at least for me," Eugene said. "Professor Taylor was really helpful. Had I had someone else, I'm sure I would have been stuck in a bunch of education courses which he said are a waste of time and energy. 'If we work carefully, we can avoid many of them. We'll work out an instrumental music major and an education minor which will require you to take some education courses--enough to get you certified, but avoid all we can and especially the really bad ones. You didn't hear me say that,' he said and laughed. So I think I was saved a bunch of boring classes and that gave time to take more music. And boy am I glad I took some AP courses! Heck, I'm a freshman with over a semester of credit."

"Truth be told, the same was true in my case--both about the AP and having a good advisor," Paula said. "I was guided so I would avoid courses which wouldn't really help, but I'll have to take some psychology courses at Case Western Reserve--most likely they will actually be graduate courses. The bad news is I'll probably be here at least five years. The good news is I'll graduate with both a B.A. in choral music and a masters in music therapy. Or I may do summers. By the way, Professor Roth-Batten is my advisor and suggested we might want to invite our advisors over for an evening soon."

"'I know I have a standing invitation, and I expect to take you up on that, but it wouldn't hurt to have all your advisors over,' she offered. She also wanted to know if we gotten much done. 'I suspect you've got the front lawns looking good by now.' I told her we had done pretty well, but the heat was getting us. Thought I'd save our work as a surprise."

It was Luke's turn and he said, "I heard some students talking about Professor Henry Pross. They thought he was too hung up on his department and his position, so I was pretty scared when I sat down with him. I mean he couldn't help me without knowing I was planning on transferring to the Art Institute next year and that was the first thing out of his mouth. 'If I recall, you don't think Oberlin can give you what you want or need,' he said as I re-introduced myself. I thought I'd not beat about the bush and said, 'Professor, that was what I was told and, from studying the catalog, I think it's right'."

"'What do you mean?' he asked."

"'Well, I'm interested in studio art, not art history, and it seems Oberlin offers little in the way of studio art,' I responded."

"'Refresh my memory, just why did you choose Oberlin then?'"

"'Honest?,' I asked him and when he nodded, I said, 'Sir, remember my partner is studying organ here and we didn't want to be--weren't going to be--separated. I discovered the Art Institute requires students to live on campus their first year and most of what I would be taking I could get here and then transfer next year or even the year after. See, I am also planning on doing metallurgy at Case Western Reserve because I have become especially interested in sculpture.'"

"'I see,' he said. 'Seems a wise course of action to me and maybe we can work out an independent study each semester in studio art. And how is your partner? How is Matt?'"

"He had been playing a game with me! I wondered what would have happened had I been less honest. 'He's great. Got registration out of the way yesterday and is doing an internship with Holtkamp. And, by the way, we're married--well as married as two men can be--and had our union blessed by the church.'"

"'Great,' he said. 'you two are very fortunate that someone was willing to do that. Fr. Tom?'"

"'Yes, he told us he couldn't, but surprised us at the end of the Eucharist following the ceremony uniting us. It really pleased us.'"

"After seeing Professor Pross, I had to see Mr. Edison who heads up the cooperative program with Case Western Reserve to get a couple classes there. I hope we're not making a dozen trips a week into Cleveland, but the classes just fell where they would so we've got a lot of planning of schedules to do," Luke concluded.

"That goes double for me," Larry said. "I'll be taking liberal arts and basic required courses--what's left after my AP credit--here and about the same number at Case Western Reserve. Oberlin has little in the way of audio-video classes, but most of the theory and communications skills courses I can get here. And, by the way, we all have early classes three days a week but, thank God and unlike you, Matt, no Saturday class."

"Yep, we've got some major scheduling to do," Larry said.

"Well, we'll get to that soon, but right now we need to get these two tired priests on their way. Kent and I worked them pretty hard while all of you were at Oberlin," I said.

"Right," Woody said. "As much as we would like to stay longer, I have to get back to the parish. It's been great being here with you five--and you too, Kent."

"I enjoyed getting to know all of you after all Matt's talk about you this summer. Kent, nice to meet you. Hope you'll be around the next time I come," Stinky said.

"I hope so too, Stinky," Kent said.

Woody said. "I'll be in touch soon, I'm sure. Eugene, did you call your mom?"

"Thought I'd wait until tonight. It's cheaper," he replied. "Promise I'll call her tonight."

There were hugs all around and Stinky kept saying how glad he was to get to meet all of my friends, and how pleased he was with what we had done and were doing. Finally, the two were off.

Eugene

As we turned to go into the house, Kent said, "I think it's too hot to work right now. Besides that, Woody is as good as they get at pruning, and with him working with Stinky and Matt and me working together, we got four trees done this morning. There are only two left and I wanted to check with you about one of them. It's an apple tree which has been damaged by a storm and is seriously diseased. It needs to come down to protect the others because I don't believe it can be restored to health at this stage."

"Then down it comes," Luke said. "we surely wouldn't know what to do about it."

"It was a grand old tree, I suspect here before the others, but it's doomed and really needs to go. And, hey, apple makes good firewood. Smells great. In fact, there are several limbs from the apples pruned which are large enough to keep for firewood, and you do have that great fireplace."

"Then it's settled. Kent, make yourself at home. There's a stereo in the family room and library, computers in the library, and if you can think of anything else you might want or need, yell and we'll see what we can do. Right now we need to get our heads together over a schedule for the house," I said.

"If you don't mind, I would like to check my e-mail and maybe write a couple."

"Sure, go ahead," Luke said.

"Might even turn the stereo on. If I do, do you want it turned up so you can hear?"

"Don't think so. Just set it at a level you enjoy and even close the door so you can have it as loud as you like and we can work without having to talk over it."

I looked around at the faces at the table and all were saying, "There's something strange going on here". Not that any of us blasted our ears off with the stereo, but we did like a bit of volume and it never bothered us before.

"Ok, what's up," Paula asked. "And don't tell me 'nothing'. I can smell a plot you guys come up with a mile away. What gives?"

I looked at Matt and asked, "Matt, did Kent talk to you today, I mean really talk?".

"Yea, he did. Did you see his chest?"

"Ok, what's the mystery here," Paula demanded.

"No, but he told me about his surgery and his situation. Are you thinking what I have been thinking?"

"I bet I am," Matt said.

"Will someone, PLEASE, tell us what is going on here?" Paula pleaded.

"Yea, pretty please," Larry chimed in.

"I'll start," I said, "and, Matt, fill in any details or add what needs to be added." Between the two of us, we told the gang about Kent.

"So, you see," Matt said, "he's rejected by his father for something he had nothing to do with--I mean being born with the heart problem as we were born gay. It's a situation, in one sense, at least three of us can appreciate. He's got little money, just what he's earned doing landscaping. He has transportation only because someone is willing to provide it--his girl friend, I think--and although he has a tennis scholarship--he was state runner-up last year--things are bound to be tough at best."

"He seems to have reconciled himself to the fact that he can never earn his father's approval and doesn't really try for that any more, but he really does live in hell," Matt summarized. "He has the support of his mom and brother, but I think his dad runs things."

"I can see where you are headed," Luke said. "We'll have to make some adjustments, but I don't think that's a problem. We surely know what helping others looks like from being helped." Paula and Larry nodded agreement without what Matt and I had in mind actually being mentioned.

"Amen to that," I said.

"Of course, he may not want to do it, you know," Paula said. "And another thing, if his dad has already decided he is gay, what will happen when--I said when, not if--he discovers Kent's living with four gay men?"

"I guess it's time we talked with him," Luke said. "I assume, of course, we are ready to make an offer and then work out the details. But I want to be sure of that. Paula?"

"I'm thinking."

"Larry?"

"I think we should."

"Matt and Eugene, you have pretty much made your position clear, but I want to hear it," Luke said, looking at the two of us. We both made it clear that we were definitely for it.

"That settles it," Paula said.

"No, it doesn't, Luke said emphatically. "Maybe some things we will decide by a majority vote, but nothing as serious as this."

"Look, there was no question about my being here with you four guys. I know you and know you well. You're gay and that figures into my thinking. Kent is not, I'm positive about that. So it's not so simple for me."

"I can understand that," Luke said. "Actually, even after our long talk last night, I am trusting Matt and Eugene's judgement because they have had some real time with Kent. He might have pulled the wool over our eyes last night, but I don't think he could have with Matt and Eugene."

"Actually, I'm all for it," Paula said, "it's just that I really don't know him as I know you four. Ok, I'm all for it, with one condition. If Kent comes on to me once, just once, he's out of here. Agreed?"

"Absolutely. Not only will he be out of here, but he'll be walking on busted legs, I assure you of that," Eugene said. "And I mean every word of it!"

"Are we all absolutely sure we want to do this? And that if there is a pass at Paula, Kent's gone? Absolutely sure?" Matt asked. There were four variations on absolutely sure from around the table. "Then I'll ask Kent to come in and we'll make some decisions." Matt walked to the library door and knocked. The stereo was turned down and Kent opened the door. "Kent, if you have time, we'd like to have you join us for a discussion."

Kent came out of the library, not surprisingly, looking puzzled. He walked slowly to a chair Matt indicated and sat down. "Kent, I think I need to begin by telling you two things. First, the five of us have very few secrets from each other. That's because we really do see ourselves as members of the same family and, second, because we absolutely trust that, except in very rare cases in which to withhold something might lead to someone being hurt, what we say among ourselves stays among us unless we ask, and get permission, to tell someone else. That's an absolute. Having said that, I need to tell you, we have been discussing the things you told me today, Eugene yesterday, and what you said last night. I guess we all thought that would be ok with you since you had talked freely to all of us at one time or another. Was it all right? Not that we haven't done it already."

"Sure. I was surprised last night when Eugene said practically nothing about what we had talked about, but I wouldn't have cared anyway."

I smiled when Luke mouthed "Greywolf" and I watched Matt transform himself into Greywolf. It was very obvious he was his father's son! "I'll attempt to summarize what we talked about. First, you and your father do not get along because of his rejection of who you are and what you can do. Some of us can sympathize with that from experience. Second, while you have a scholarship to pay for college, you have little else in the way of funds. Third, you planned to live at home while attending college because you can't afford to do otherwise and you live ten miles further from Case Western Reserve than we do. Fourth..." Matt suddenly stopped, because we were all laughing our heads off. Even Kent was laughing. "What the hell?" he stuttered.

"Matt, you are a carbon copy of Greywolf doing a family meeting," Luke laughed and, in a very Greywolf voice, said, "And, ninety-nine, my son sleeps with a beautiful hunk of a man." We all had tears running down our faces.

Kent wasn't laughing quite as hard as the rest of us as he said, in a Matt voice, "I thought you were a robot!".

"Well, it gets the job done," Matt protested.

"It sure does. Do continue, Matt," Paula was finally able to say.

I thought Matt might change his approach, but he went right ahead. "Fourth, your transportation is tenuous at best and puts a burden on you and on your friend." Then in his usual voice Matt asked, "She's your girlfriend, right?".

"Yea, I guess if I have one, she's it," Kent said.

"In summary," Matt was Greywolf again, "you have problems with your dad, with money and transportation. After discussing it thoroughly, we'd like to make an offer for your consideration. We'd like to invite you to live with us. It looks as though one or more of us will be going into Cleveland every day, so the transportation problem would be solved, not on an ideal schedule, but you would have a way to and from college. And you would be away from your father."

"There are some things you need to know and think about," I said. "First of all, there is one condition which is absolute. You make a pass at Paula and you are out of here."

Kent laughed and said, "I should be so lucky. To make it out of here, I mean."

"Probably true,' Luke said with a smile.

"Another thing," Larry added, "you need to think what it might mean in terms of your life to be living in a house with four gays. I know your dad has already said you were, but apparently only to his family. None of us are joining a Gay Pride parade or anything like that. We don't go 'round announcing we're gay. None of anyone's business, but you, yourself, decided that Eugene and I were a couple or at least that we had a special relationship. Others may well pick up on that so you need to consider it as a real possibility."

"We haven't discussed anything about money, duties and responsibilities yet," Paula said, "since we wanted to know your reaction to our proposal first."

If there had been any doubt about Kent's liking the idea, one look at his face would have dispelled it. He was grinning from ear to ear. "I told Eugene yesterday I wished I could be in a situation like you have here, but never, ever, would have dreamed it might be possible. As to the condition concerning Paula, I can accept that but, in doing so, I want you to know, Paula, that if I didn't respect your wishes, I might give it a try. You are one beautiful woman!"

Paula blushed and then said, "Thanks, Kent, flattery will get you a lot but, in this case, you can look but not touch," and both laughed.

"As to living with gay men, I've thought a lot about last night's discussion. Once I really realized that what you said about being gay was like my heart--not that being gay is a defect, but that it's just the way you are born as my heart defect was the way I was born--I had my eyes opened. If someone wants to make something of it, I think I can defend myself. I don't need time to think about your offer, so let's discuss details."

"The way we're operating, so far as household expenses are concerned, is to divide the bills by five. I think it would be reasonable to just divide by six," Luke said. "The house is ours. We paid for it so there's no house payment. When we leave, we can sell it and the money's ours. We have three vehicles among us and will use them as needed. So far as transportation costs are concerned, I guess we may as well just divide that by six. We can and will have to work out a schedule for their use, but I don't think any one of us would deny use of his vehicle if it is needed. Everything in the house is shared. We have three computers..."

"I have one which I would insist on bringing since I worked and paid for it. Dad will buy Derrick one if he wants one."

"Good," Luke said. "Same with the duties. We decided we all needed to learn to do everything but, right now, I am cooking with someone who's not good at it..."

"Lunch today showed you Kent's kitchen certified," Matt said. "So we'll have three teams to cook. Later, if we want to change team mates we can."

"And you can have your drawing board set up in the studio," Luke said. "If we find having each other around is a problem, we can hang a curtain or something."

"Could we install one of the computers there? I do a lot of CAD--computer aided drafting."

"Don't see why not," Luke said.

"Anything else? Matt asked.

"Yea, room assignment. Upstairs or downstairs?" Paula asked.

"I thought upstairs," I said. "But now that you bring it up, what made you think of it?"

"Bathrooms, mainly. But, also, don't you think it would be a good idea to keep you smelly men isolated," she laughed. "I mean, I'd be happy to move downstairs and all you guys would be upstairs and wouldn't have to worry about running around nude, not that you three have anything I haven't seen."

Suddenly Kent got a "what have I gotten myself into?" look on his face. Paula laughed, "Kent, you are looking at the world's greatest skinny dipping team. These four guys and I and the other five members of the Fellowship... you know about the Fellowship?" Kent nodded, "...are all major skinny dippers. Anyway, what do you five think?"

"Basically that makes sense, but what about furnishings and decor? Your room is a bit feminine for a man, I think," Luke said.

"No reason the furniture can't be changed. My room is painted beige which has a pink overtone, but that can be toned down with curtains, bedspreads, etc. Or Kent could take the other room we're not using."

"True and, in fact, it was thinking about that room which gave me the idea in the first place," I said. "It's done in a very soft gray with red and black decor. Very masculine, I think."

"And, if you recall, I chose the color and all for the downstairs room and I have always liked it."

"Done, then. Kent, you'll join the bull pen."

"I will make one request. Haul down the queen-sized bed and exchange it for the twins. And, Kent, if you have a full-sized or larger bed, you might want to try to get it. The twins are small if you're used to a large bed," Paula said.

"I have a king-sized which I bought and paid for. It's mine."

"Well, I guess that takes care of everything except the big hassle--the schedules. I know that is going to be one ass-busting bitch, so I suggest we put it off until tonight and get back to work," Luke said. "As much as I hate to say this, Kent, I think you would be more valuable keeping an eye on the four of us, and keep us from messing up, than trying to prune."

"I hate to hear you say it too, but I guess you're right. Let's go."

The pruning went much faster than it had the two days before, I guess we had learned more than we thought. We started at 3:00 and had finished the two remaining trees at 4:30. Kent and Paula pruned the remaining healthy tree. It would have been good to have found a chainsaw somewhere to tackle the old diseased tree, but we didn't. The tree was felled with ax and saw, both using manpower. It was good exercise and we took turns as we cut the old tree and larger limbs into firewood. The smaller branches were stacked to be hauled off later.

While the tree and limbs were being cut, those not working or resting took the compost from the bins and piled it in a heap to be covered with a tarp and then gathered up the weeds and put them in the bins. It was almost 6:00 when we went to the house. Luke and Paula again got dibs on the showers--of course Luke was joined by Matt, but it was obvious they didn't play around because Luke was ready to hit the kitchen by the time Paula was. Supper wasn't fancy, but it was good and we all enjoyed it. When we had finished with the kitchen work, it was 8:00 and Paula suggested we have an hour's down time. No-one objected. Luke, Kent and Eugene went to the studio. Paula took a book to the sun porch and Matt decided to get in an hour's practice. I took my video camera outside to record the 'after' picture of the garden and orchard to complete a 'before' segment.

Kent

To say I was surprised when I got called into the meeting is a colossal understatement. I had lain awake for a couple hours the night before, just thinking about how great it would be to be in a situation like the Oberlin Five--I had smiled when I heard one of them call themselves that. When I asked, I was told more about the Fellowship and how it now had two divisions--the Oberlin Five and the Concord Five. When I mentioned it to Matt as we were cutting up the old apple tree, he suddenly got a strange look on his face and said, "I guess we'll have to become the Lorain Six, since you'll not be at Oberlin. Neither will Luke and Larry when they get settled. Yes, I guess we better become the Lorain Six. Or maybe... no, it's the Lorain Six."

"I don't think so, Matt. The Oberlin Five is connected with the Fellowship and the Concord Five. I'm sure their number will expand, but they will always be, for you five, the Concord Five. No, I think you are the Oberlin Five. It really speaks to your history, not the college."

"Man, you are so right. Got a head on your shoulders, Kent."

After dinner, everyone went their separate ways and only Matt and I were left in the house. Matt promptly went to the family room and opened the organ. When he started to put on the headphones, I said, "If you don't mind, could you leave them off. I haven't heard you play very much."

"Never turn down an audience," he laughed. Five minutes later I could have been the paint on the wall so far as he was concerned. I could tell by the look on his face that he was not in this universe. After he played for forty-five minutes, Matt took a pad of blank sheet music and started playing, then stopping, making notations, then playing the phrase over. I'm not sure he was aware that I left the room.

As I left the family room, it occurred to me that we were going to work on schedules and I didn't have mine. I called home and when Derrick answered the phone, I swore him to secrecy and told him about the offer. He was almost as excited as I was. "I'll probably be home tomorrow to talk to Dad, but I'll talk to Mom tonight. Now I have a favor to ask of you. I need my college schedule. It's in the Case Western Reserve folder on my desk. Would you please find it, scan it and, when I am off the phone, e-mail it to me? I'd appreciate it."

"Happy to, Kent. Real happy to and happy for you. I'm so excited that this has happened for you. I'll call Mom to the phone and get the schedule ready to send right now, hang on." About a minute later, Mom was on the phone. "Mom," I said, "I have some really great news!" I told her about the offer from the Oberlin Five and how pleased I was. She was too, and just kept on asking questions.

Finally she said, "Kent, I had some bad news for you when you got back. I have been bugging your dad to buy you an old car to get to and from college, but he was having none of it. 'He'll just have to find a way. I did,' he kept saying, and last night he did one of his final word announcements and said I was not to mention it again. I guess he'll just never see what's in you and I'm sorry."

"I am too, Mom, but I realize that will not likely change so I'm living my own life and no longer trying to prove anything to him... well, most of the time anyway. I'll be there some time tomorrow to talk with the two of you and get my things that I am bringing over."

"I'll see that your clothes are ready. I don't know how your dad will take this. I hope well. Come at lunch when he'll be here."

"I hope he takes it well, but I have made my decision."

"Good."

"Well, I need to get off the phone so Derrick can send my schedule. Wish us luck tonight. We're going to try to coordinate schedules, duties and transportation. Wish we had a computer program to do that! Talk to you tomorrow. I love you, Mom.

"I'm excited for you, Son and I dearly love you. Bye."

"Bye, Mom."

I went into the library and turned on a computer. I almost panicked since I had just assumed I would be at my own computer and could get my e-mail. Just before I called Matt to get his address, I remembered Derrick would use my web account since he had one and knew how to use it. As I watched, the computer booted and the dialog box came up asking for a password for my login.

When I had gone into the library this afternoon--while the others were holding some kind of meeting--I wanted to check my e-mail and write a couple, but I was stymied by the same dialogue box and could not send or receive e-mail. I started to the kitchen where the rest were, but I saw they were involved in some deep discussion and didn't bother them. Instead, I just put on some music and relaxed.

Now, just when I thought about going to get Matt, I realized he was not playing and, when I looked up, he was coming in the door. "I thought about you needing a userid and password this afternoon, but we got so involved in our discussion I forgot it. When I stopped playing to ask you something, I discovered you had gone and thought you might be here. I'll set you up." In a few minutes, Matt had give me a userid--kent--and got up so I could add a password.

"You could do that, I wouldn't mind."

"You might. Luke outed himself to Michael, without knowing it when he left a file open, almost four months before he jumped in the river. No, we're friends and trust each other, but definitely don't share passwords."

I typed in a password and was logged on. I quickly checked my e-mail and Derrick had sent the schedule. I printed it out and then wrote a couple e-mails--including one to Christine telling her I would call tonight. I knew she had been working in a camp all summer, but should be back.

It was shortly after nine when we had all gathered in the dining room. I was surprised to find three large sheets of newsprint--each made from several regular sheets--taped to the wall, all with seven columns, labeled with the days of the week, and eighteen rows. I suspected Luke had done them when he went to the studio, since they were extremely neat. Matt was standing up, the rest seated, all with schedules in hand. "Kent, I'm sure you can't remember your schedule, but we'll do the best we can," Matt said in greeting me.

"I have it. Derrick scanned it and sent it by e-mail."

"Great! Before we get to class schedules, there are some things we can put in. Paula, temple Friday night?" Paula nodded and said, "7:00. plus the drive to and from. Make it 6:30 until 8:30." Matt wrote that in the proper blocks, using a red marker. I guess I looked puzzled, because Matt said, "Paula's Jewish".

"Luke, Eugene, Larry, mass?"

"Sure, but what about time? And where? I guess we go church shopping."

"I guess," Matt said. "But for the time being, and since it's Sunday, I'll just put in 9:30 until 1:00. That will cover a 10:30 mass, which is becoming common, or the usual 11:00 one. He used green, blue and purple pens to write their names. Kent?"

"I've always gone with the family, actually without thinking about it."

"You can go with us if you like or not go at all, that's your business. But if you have no objection to where your parents go, you can still go with them."

"That's about all we agree on. Dad gets upset over the welcoming of YOUR kind," Kent said with a laugh, "but I like my church. I even want to go, I guess. I'm very comfortable there. It's just that I have never thought about not going since it wasn't an option. It's at 11:00 so block me out 10:30 until 1:00." Matt wrote my name in black marker. I could see how the color coding was going to make a complicated chart a bit easier to read.

"Kent, I think that's a wise choice since it will be a sign that you are still a part of your family," Eugene said.

"I put 6:00 am on the charts because I have got to get back to running, but maybe that's a bit early," Luke said.

"It sure will be this winter," I said. "Anyone have an 8:00 class?"

My early ones are at 9:00," Matt said.

"Then if we run at 6:30 and have breakfast at 8:00, we could make a 9:00 class at Oberlin, but I don't think we could make Case or Holtkamp," I said. "I suspect it might be best to put the running in the evening."

"Everyone running?" Matt asked. Nods all the way around. "5:00 in the afternoon too early, Kent? I'm not sure about getting back by then from Holtkamp. I was thinking of being there from 9:00 until 5:00. And glad you are with us, I mean really joining in." Four nods of agreement.

"Everyone doesn't have to run at the same time, Matt," Paula said. "and it could be a different time on different days. Why don't two of us work at a time and put up our schedules? Then we'll see how other things can fit in?" We did and, when we had, Luke said, "Man, we're going to get little sleep if we have to prepare for class at night."

"Wait a minute," Eugene said, "Matt, you're going into Holtkamp twice a week. Look at when Luke and Kent will be at Case those two days. They have a whole afternoon free if you don't take two cars. That's an afternoon preparing for class. They can work in the library or somewhere. Same with those of us at Oberlin. If we make it a day at school, and not waste our time, we won't have to work at night, at least seldom." That was great news for all of us. Clearly we were thinking of high school where school meant classes every hour, all day every school day."

We were all looking over the charts when Luke said, "Sarang Hanun Pomul..."

"Whoa," I said, "what's this?"

Luke explained the name he used for Matt and told me his Korean name as well. "You'll have to hear all about those two jokers and their names soon," Paula laughed. "They each have a baby book full of names."

"Anyway, Matt, you have the only Saturday class, that's a rotten deal for you and all of us."

Everyone fell silent and then Matt practically shouted, "That's a performance class. It's studio time and I know I'll only be with my teacher every other week. I think she lives just down the road, from what I was told. If so, she might be willing to allow me to work here on my own organ..."

"That's my job you're talking about," Luke quipped and Matt blushed.

"Here on my RODGERS," he continued. "She might even prefer to come here since it would free up her day. Might even arrange another time. I'll check."

"That sure would be great," Eugene said. "This may be easier than we thought. Just takes some creative thinking."

It was midnight before we got all the schedules and the duty roster completed, but it looked good--at least on paper. It did mean a car to Cleveland every day, but one car would do it since the classes at Case for Luke and Larry were, by sheer luck, all Tuesday and Thursday when Matt went to Holtkamp.

When Matt wrote the last entry, Paula stood up and shouted, "Skinny dipping time," and started taking off her clothes. And I was supposed to keep cool around her? I could, I would, but a hardening in my jeans said it might not be easy! Five minutes later, the six of us were frolicking in the lake.

It was 1:30 when I finally slid into bed and lay there thinking just how quickly and wonderfully my life had changed today. I felt a sense of relief, happiness and thankfulness sweep over me when I thought of the kindness the Oberlin Five had shown me. I was finding out what they meant when, several times, one or the other had spoken of it being time to give after all they had received. In one sense, I felt that I had always known them and, in another, that I knew so little about them. Time would, I was sure, change that. In any event, I was happier than I has been since I couldn't remember when. It was one happy horticulturalist-to-be who finally had his excitement overcome by sleep and beautiful dreams.

Chapter 4

Paula

Since Kent was already in the fourth bedroom upstairs and was going to stay there, I didn't bother to move my things but did get the guys to exchange the downstairs twin beds with the queen-sized bed from the attic. I laughed when Matt suggested that if this kept up, the beds would learn to walk. But this would be the last time they were moved for a while. Matt had suggested we put the twins on the sun porch and get a couple day bed frames and cushions for them, which we did. There was plenty room and it looked as if we were approaching a full house.

Gads, surrounded by five men. Women would be envious because all five were good-looking, Kent not in the super-handsome, beautiful way Matt and Luke were. He was more in the Larry and Eugene school of handsome -- kinda, well, just masculine handsome. Not that Matt and Luke weren't, but theirs was a more refined handsomeness, if you know what I mean. Of course, what all those jealous women wouldn't know -- I hoped -- was that four of them found me about as sexually attractive as they would their mothers. Kent, on the other hand, well -- I can tell you, his dad may think it and he may worry a bit about it -- that was not a gay guy, trust me!

But none of them occupied a place in my dreams. That place was firmly held by a redhead -- maybe not as handsome as the five here, but I couldn't be objective. He was the most beautiful man in the world to this lonely woman. Strange, we had known each other for such a short time, and part of that was occupied by our just being friends and both working hard not to fall for the other. And when we lost that battle -- and how glad I am we did! -- we were soon separated and, after being reunited, separated again. We each wrote long love letters and sent them by e-mail. We had even tried a chat once, but that proved to be too frustrating. We phoned each other three or four times a week -- he one time and me the next, but we tried to keep it short. I forced him to keep his short because he couldn't waste a penny. Bill's parents provided him food and shelter, and insisted he tell them when he needed anything and told him not to worry about the phone bill, but Jacob wanted to do all he could to pull his own weight.

The news he had from Concord was not much. Everyone was getting ready to go back to school. Bill and Linda were happy as larks. All of them had been working on plans for the school year and Michael had called a meeting of the Fellowship at the falls for Saturday, mostly picnicking and playing I think. As Jacob said that I had a vivid recollection of our first kiss atop the falls. Man, I missed my redhead! With him in my mind, I fell asleep and dreamed of him and when we would be together again.

Friday we worked around the house, mostly on the grounds which were really taking shape. Kent had given Luke the name of a man who had a tractor and would prepare the garden, and he showed up about noon. Matt, Luke and Larry spent the afternoon working there, coming in dirty and happy. Luke had suggested Kent might like to call Christine for a date and, while he was reluctant, he finally agreed. When Eugene suggested he take his car, Kent smiled and said Christine was more the pickup truck kind of girl. Luke said, "It's yours! And ask her about coming over for dinner soon," he added.

I went back to the same synagogue Jacob and I had attended. It was small and the people and rabbi were very friendly. They had welcomed us warmly and several asked about him when I showed up by myself.

We had agreed we'd sleep until we were ready to get up Saturday morning, but even at that I was surprised to wake up and find the sun streaming though my window. It was 10:00 already! I hopped out of bed, showered, got dressed and went to the kitchen. Kent was there, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. When I came in, he got up, poured me a cup and asked, "Sugar and cream?".

"Black, one sugar," I replied and seated myself. "You the only one up?"

"Don't think so. I heard some stirring ten minutes or so before I got up, but both bedroom doors are closed, so I don't know if I am or not."

"Kent, I want to apologize a bit about Thursday night. I certainly don't want you to think that I thought you couldn't be trusted, but I had a really bad experience last year and just don't think I could handle someone coming on to me, especially since I have a wonderful man as a friend and boyfriend."

"No apology needed," he said, handing me my coffee.

"Thanks, but I think you deserve one. By the way, how was the date?"

"We actually had a great time. We ate pizza at a little Italian place Christine knew and then went to the movies. Afterward, I drove her home and we sat on her porch and talked until her dad came out and said, 'Kent, I think you're a nice guy, but Christine turns into an ugly witch at midnight and you only have 5 minutes,' laughed, and went back inside. I kissed her goodnight and came home. I came home, Paula. It sounds strange, but I like it. But you started to tell me about last year, I think."

"It's a bit of a long story, but maybe it will help you understand the kind of people you have fallen in with." We sat drinking coffee as I told him about the prom and what followed. "Sheldon's got himself in a real jam. I neither know how it came out nor do I care." I then told him about Jacob and me becoming friends and falling in love. "Think you'd like him, Kent. He's a great guy, a wonderful guy. Got a bit of a temper to match his red hair, but also the sense of humor -- and passion -- to go with it," I laughed.

"Sounds wonderful. I guess that kind of story explains all the comments about it being time to give back after having received so much," Kent commented.

"It's only one of many stories. Yes, we have been given much in the last year -- actually since last March, although it seems much longer. I guess you'll grow tired of all the stories, but we all have been involved in a gigantic soap opera," I laughed. "There's a whole other story about how I managed to get to come here, how my mom has been able to go to school full time." I then gave Kent a condensed version of all that. I had just finished speaking when the four other guys came in from the sun porch, dripping wet. "At least shake like a dog before coming in," I said in my best stern mother voice.

"Toss us some towels," Matt said. "We forgot to replace those we used from the cupboard by the shower outside." I went to the linen closet and got four towels and tossed them to the four, who dried themselves and went upstairs to dress. They took their time but finally came down. Kent and I had set the kitchen table with juice, fruit, milk and cold cereal and he had started a new pot of coffee.

"Man, the beach is a great place to run," Luke said. "It's great running and really beautiful." The four sat down and we all ate breakfast. "Kent, Paula, who decided on cold cereal..."

"Kent's idea," I interrupted.

"Well, it's a good one when we decide to get up when we choose. That way no-one will have to get up before they are ready. I really slept in and throughly enjoyed the run," Luke concluded.

We discussed what we would do this last free Saturday, and Kent said he had called his mom and she suggested he have lunch with the family so he could talk with his dad. "Then I'll have to get my things moved."

"We'll be glad to help," Eugene offered.

"Thanks. I appreciate the offer but, to tell the truth, I don't know what dad's reaction will be -- and if there is a scene, I just as soon you not be involved. Derrick and Mom will help. I guess I'll need to borrow the truck if you don't have plans.

"Kent, you need the truck so there's no borrowing involved. We are either in this together or we are not. And if I had plans then, hey, they'd have to be changed because you have a need; all I would have is a want, ok?"

Kent smiled and said, "Ok".

"And promise, Kent, if things get too out of hand or go smoothly, you'll let us know and we'll come help. We are going to do some driving around this afternoon looking for churches, but I have my cell phone," Matt said. "Paula, if you want to come with us, we'd be delighted to have you or you can take one of the vehicles and go off on your own."

"Think I'll just hang around here and finish the book I'm reading. May not have time to read trash when school starts."

Kent

I woke up Saturday morning when I heard sounds in the hall, or maybe from the guys' rooms. I lay there thinking about what they might be up to. I'll admit that I wasn't too comfortable with the idea of two men having sex. I mean, it was their business, but I had heard too much carrying-on from Dad and I guess more of it had sunk in than I'd like to have admitted. When I realized the sounds were coming from the hall and not the bedrooms, I was kinda ashamed of myself, but knew that I could either learn to accept -- and even love -- the four guys or get out. It was my choice.

I did have to admit that the way they looked at each other, and how they behaved around each other, gave me mixed feelings. One side of me was uncomfortable and the other found their genuine and open affection attractive. I don't mean I felt it was something I could do with a man, but I hoped if I ever fell in love, I'd have the kind of feeling for my girlfriend the two couples had for each other.

Things became quiet again and I lay in bed thinking about the change in how my future looked since coming here to do a job. Whole new avenues had opened for me as if by magic. That, of course, reminded me that I had to talk to Dad in a few hours and explain why I was leaving home. I wondered what his reaction would be. On the surface, it would appear that he'd welcome getting rid of me -- after all, all he did was criticize -- but, at the same time, he used me a lot and I wouldn't be available. I just didn't know. Well, as he told Mom about an old car, he had to manage on his own and I would have to and, by chance, I had done well. "So lying here worrying won't change anything," I said to myself, crawled out of bed, showered, shaved and got dressed.

I went downstairs and found no-one around, so I made coffee and set out a breakfast of cold cereal. I had just sat down with a cup of coffee when Paula come in the kitchen. We drank coffee and talked. She told me why she had been so adamant about what would happen if I made a pass at her. I couldn't blame her and thought what a lucky guy her Jacob was. It was obvious she was madly in love with him and sure was missing him. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be that in love with someone and be separated for a year.

She asked how my date went and I told her it was fine, and it was, but I definitely wasn't in love with Christine. She was just a good friend and I enjoyed being with her. I didn't tell Paula that when I had kissed her goodnight, the kiss was more than a peck on the cheek and, once again, the hardness in my briefs was a pretty good indication that my dad didn't know his son very well when he decided I was gay.

While we were talking, the four guys came in soaking wet. They had been for a run and had showered outside. As we all ate, we talked about my going to my place, talking with Dad and picking up my things. Luke insisted that the truck was mine to use as I needed. He said we were in this together or we weren't, something I recall hearing one or the other of the group say from time to time. It made me feel good. I was to call them if things went well with Dad so they could help get my things or if things really got out of hand. I'll admit I didn't have the slightest idea how it would go.

I pretty much knew that Dad wouldn't be at the house until lunch. Saturday mornings he worked around the place, usually having me and Derrick help, but he wouldn't have bothered to stay around waiting for me. I wanted to talk with Mom before he came to lunch, so I left for their place at 10:30. When I arrived, Mom was outside and looked up, puzzled, as I drove in. I realized at once that she didn't recognize the truck. I hopped out and said, "Hi Mom. How do you like the new wheels?"

"Kent, what do you mean? Where did you get the truck? What do you mean 'the new wheels'?"

"Easy, Mom," I laughed. "It's mine when I need it and sometimes when I want it. Got time to talk?"

"Sure, you know I do. Come on inside."

We went to the kitchen where I got a soda, and Mom and I sat at the kitchen table where I told her, probably in more detail than she wanted, what the Oberlin Five had offered me and what we had worked out. "So you see, Mom, I have transportation to Case, a place to live that is closer in, and a very determined and dedicated group of people for support. It's great."

"You mean they are willing to do all of that so long as you pay a sixth of the expenses."

"That's right. Not only that, but I'll have transportation for other things as well. Last night I had a real date with no problems. I had the truck and we ate pizza and went to a movie and it was great. I loved it."

"Well, I agree it sounds great, but there has to be a catch."

"Yea, I can't make a pass at Paula and, Mom, it is a good thing I was told that because she is one luscious woman.

"So there is one woman living with four -- you make five -- men. I don't like the looks of that. How could her parents let her do that?"

"Parent, she only has her mother. Her mom knows the four guys so there's no problem. And she knows that if they allow another guy to live with them, there better not be any problem with him either or the four would break his legs -- well, that's all if he were lucky. There's not a doubt in my mind about that!"

"But how could any mother trust her daughter living with four guys? I don't care how well she knew them."

"Would it help explain it if I told you the four guys are two couples? In fact, two of them have had a ceremony kinda like a marriage. So far as they are concerned, they are married, just that no-one recognizes the marriage of two men. The other couple are just as committed to each other I'm sure. So Paula is just their sister.'

"They're GAY?"

"Sounds like it to me."

"And you want to live there? What if they want to turn you gay? I don't think I like this."

"Mom, we've had a long talk about that. Since Dad told his family I was gay, I wondered if I might be. But all four of the guys said it was not something you really worried about -- I mean you may deny it to yourself, but when you finally take a hard look, you know you're gay or not and were born that way. It's like my heart. That was just the way I was born, not something I chose. Or it's like the color of my hair. I was just born that way. It sure made me stop worrying. I know I'm not gay, as surely as they know they are. So what do I have to worry about?"

"I don't know. I'm just uncomfortable with the whole idea."

"I was too. Well, I still am sometimes. I don't understand it and when I see them holding hands or kissing each other, I get uneasy -- but I'm getting over it. Those four are so in love with their partners that I just thought to myself this morning, 'When I fall in love, I hope I am as in love and as affectionate as those guys are'. I'm getting used to it and I can tell you one thing: the world would be a lot better off if couples loved each other as they do and if people were as loving and caring for others as those five are. I mean they hardly knew me, but had a meeting Thursday night, after getting me out of the room, to talk about my situation -- not having reliable transportation to college, not being trusted with the car and, yes, Dad constantly putting me down. They told me they were impressed with my work, my determination, and invited me to join them. Several times one or another mentioned that they had been helped so much over the last months that it was time they started giving back. Paula told me about how the Fellowship -- that's what the group called itself before the five came here, leaving five still in high school -- helped get her a dress and all for the prom, even got a boyfriend who had moved away to the prom, and how he got mad and left when she wouldn't have sex with him, and how she and her mom were helped with an insurance settlement. They are a great bunch."

"Kent, it sounds too good to be true and such things usually are. And I still am not comfortable with you living in a house with four gays. But, in any event, you can always come home if it doesn't work out, and I wouldn't mention the guys being gay to your dad."

"Mom, I think he will find out sooner or later."

"Well, make it later," she said as Dad came in the back door with Derrick right behind him. Derrick waved and went upstairs, having anticipated what would soon happen.

"Kent, how are you doing with that orchard? Sure was a mess. Hope you haven't made it worse," Dad said.

"What a greeting," I thought. "Actually, it's all finished. We took out the old, broken, diseased apple tree, but the other trees are in great shape. A friend of the group from downstate a bit -- an Episcopal priest who came up to help one of the group, Matt, with getting an internship -- also has an orchard. He's pretty old -- actually I think he's officially retired, but still has a church -- but he knew what he was doing and that got things moving well."

"Suspect he made you see the light," Dad said. "Being older, he did things the right way."

"Yea, he did things the right way. Don't know what being older had to do with it. He started taking courses about the same time I did, so we both used the same approach." I could see Dad didn't like that, and maybe I shouldn't have said it, but he asked for it! "Got the garden cleared of weeds and hired Mr. Hickson to prepare it. They have a garden tractor, so we prepared a strawberry bed and got the plants transplanted as you suggested, cleared the asparagus beds and berries. We got as much done as we could before school starts, but everyone is taking today off."

"Sounds impressive. I'm amazed they work so hard. They look like a bunch of spoiled rich kids to me."

"I guess I'd consider them well off, since they don't have to worry about money for college or the house, but hardly spoiled. Most of what they have, they have earned or it came from money put aside for college which they didn't need. All five have full scholarships -- including books and fees. Luke, who is an artist, made a bundle from works he has sold. Eugene has money from a lawsuit he won. I'm not sure about the others except all are AP Scholars, some with honors and others with distinction, and that tells me they are not spoiled."

"Pretty impressive bunch you're running with," Dad said. "Good thing you don't have to keep up."

"Maybe I do, Dad. They have invited me to live with them."

"What do you mean, Kent? You live here."

"I mean exactly that. They have asked me to live with them. That way I'll be closer to Case and there will be no transportation problem. I won't have to depend on Christine to get me to and from school. Matt is going in Tuesdays and Thursdays to Holtkamp's organ studio where he'll be doing an internship. Luke is going to Case to take a class or two since he's doing both art and metallurgy and next year will be at the Art Institute as well. Larry is also doing a cooperative program with Case. We looked at all our schedules and worked out transportation."

"Just how are you going to afford such grand living? I mean they can't be poor with that house."

"All household expenses are charged on a credit card and divided at the end of month. I'd be expected to pay a sixth. And they don't waste money, that's clear. Case is paid for with my tennis scholarship. I have put aside all I can from working the last couple years. I don't think that will be a problem."

"Living here wouldn't cost you anything," he argued.

"And I wouldn't have reliable transportation."

"I managed."

"Yes, by taking advantage of opportunities. This is a real opportunity."

"Don't see that myself. What makes you so anxious to leave home?"

"Don't you know? Do you really need me to say it?"

"I don't know what you are talking about!"

I could see the red rising out of Dad's collar. I knew that sign well. He was ready to explode. I guess, had I been wise, I would have kept quiet -- but I had been quiet too long. "Dad, you have rejected me from the day I was born. I was born imperfect and, try as hard as I could, I have always been imperfect -- not the son you wanted. I have never done anything that pleased you. You are always on my back. I would just like to get out of a situation where I am not wanted, can never do anything right, never get a pat on the back."

"I don't know what you are talking about! How dare you accuse me of such!" He was furious and I knew it, but didn't stop.

"Yea? What did you say when I was runner-up in the state tennis competition? 'Good job, Kent'? No! You put me down because tennis wasn't a manly sport. What do you say when someone asks me to do landscaping design or work? 'Take him at your own risk, I won't recommend him.' And you know I have loyal clients and get praise for my work, but never from you. And when all else fails, you announce to that family of yours, who has always put me down because I wasn't a super-jock when I could barely walk, 'My son's gay'. Why? With what proof? Because I didn't date? How could I when you wouldn't let me have the car? Hell, I'm a virgin even if I were gay, which I am most emphatically not. Hell yes, I want out of here and you damn well know why!"

"How dare you, you reject, talk to me that way! I've spent tons of money on you trying to get you fixed and this is the reward I get?" Dad lunged across the table and grabbed me by the collar.

As he did, I heard Mom shout, "Carl, enough!". Dad paid no attention and started shaking me.

Suddenly I saw Derrick out of the corner of my eye. He raced down the last few stairs, across the kitchen, up behind Dad and said, through clinched teeth, "Dad, you heard Mom. Turn Kent loose". Dad continued shaking me and Derrick grabbed him by the collar and said, "Mom said, and I say, turn Kent loose NOW!".

Dad turned me loose and whirled and hit Derrick across the face with his fist. That did it. I practically jumped across the table, grabbed Dad and put him on the floor. I held him there as I said, "If your outburst doesn't prove my point, you are thicker-headed than I thought you were. But this settles it. I'm getting my things and leaving. If you want to see this son again, you know where to find me. I won't be back. Derrick, thanks. You too, Mom. I hope you'll come visit. We would love to have you. Derrick, protect Mom and see if you can get this hard-headed man to stop putting her down. She has no out. I do. I will get my things and go. Derrick, I'll need your help and I'm calling the others and have them come to help."

"You don't have any things here," Dad said getting up off the floor.

"Oh, yes I do. I have things I bought with money I earned. Anything else I'll leave if you want it."

"You will not," Mom said, and gave Dad a look I had never seen before. "Take everything you want or need. No-one's going to stop you. Carl, you can go to the barn and stay awhile."

"You leave this house and you'll never come back," Dad shouted.

"If that's the way you want it, so be it," I answered.

"Carl, I said go to the barn and unless you want to stay there, you better go now." I had never seen Mom openly defy Dad, must less order him around. Both Derrick and I were standing with our mouths open.

I called Matt, and the crew had been waiting for my call down the road about a quarter mile. "Thought we might need to be close," Matt said when I asked them to come.

Mom had all my clothes packed and many of my things. Derrick said he had packed my CDs, but I told him there was a good collection at the house, and a couple good stereo systems, so he could keep my stereo and CDs with the exception of two or three favorites which I hadn't seen at the place. We had a time getting my bed loaded, but finally got it on the truck and tied down. Using Eugene's car trunk, we got all the things I was taking. The rest I told Derrick to do with as he pleased.

When we were ready to go, I hugged Mom and Derrick and asked, "Mom, are you sure you will be all right?".

"She better be," Derrick said, and I knew he meant it.

Luke climbed into the truck beside me after saying I was driving. I was surprised. Luke said, "Your trip, Kent, I'm just along for the ride".

Matt

After Luke and Kent had gone, I said, "Mrs. Glaze, Derrick, anytime you want to come and visit, come. We'll definitely have you over for dinner as soon as we get settled in school. I'm sorry it worked out this way. Maybe Mr. Glaze will come around soon."

"It will take time," Mrs. Glaze said, "but he will. He's been forced to face what he has done to a son for over eighteen years. It's a hard pill to swallow. I should have stood up to him long ago, but it was easier just to hope things would change by themselves. I feel pretty guilty for what I have allowed to happen to Kent, but basically Carl's a good man -- stubborn and full of false pride. But he will come around, I know he will. Thanks for what you are doing for Kent."

Derrick said, "Mom's right. In spite of how it may seem, Dad's a good man. I think he wanted a perfect son and got one who almost died, so he was afraid to become attached to him. Then when Kent was finally whole, he became jealous because Kent tried so hard to prove himself and please him. Frankly, he showed Dad he was tougher and better than Dad had been. Then, finally I think, Kent realized he had his own life to live and Dad was never going to say he was proud of him, so he quit trying. When he did, I think Dad thought he had gone so far he could never be a real dad to Kent, was angry at himself and took it out on Kent. I may be wrong, but I'm positive he'll come around. It won't be easy and Kent will have to be open to it. Don't know that I would be man enough, but Kent is. And, yea, thanks for what you are doing for my brother, and I expect to be around pretty often. Yea, thanks."

"Just paying back some of the good deeds done for us," Eugene said.

We all hugged Kent's Mom and Derrick -- which surprised the two of them -- and drove back home, to Kent's new home.

When we reached our place, Luke and Kent had already started unloading. His mom had packed his clothing carefully, so it was easy to get it upstairs and what was on hangers placed in the closets. "I'll put away the rest of my clothes later," Kent said. We brought up everything from Eugene's car and from the truck, except Kent's bed. Luke took his computer and its peripherals to the studio while the rest of us got his bed ready to carry upstairs. Paula held the door and we had no trouble with it until we started up the stairs with the mattress. We were about half-way up, when it kinda flopped and shoved Eugene against the wall . We all got the giggles and had trouble holding on. Finally, it got away from us and started sliding over Larry who was bringing up the rear. "Damn, get this thing off me," he shouted, but we were giggling so no-one could.

Larry was giggling just as hard as the rest of us when Luke and Paula came up the stairs. Paula said, "Ok, schoolgirls, stop your giggling and get busy." We finally got control of ourselves and got the mattress to Kent's room. We set to work getting his bed set up, which we could do without his help, while he put his things away.

The only furniture, aside from the bed, was a desk and lamp. He had said he thought it would need to go to the studio for the computer, but Luke reminded him there was a study table and chair there already, so he put it in his room. "Glad this can stay here," he said. "I've always done my studying at this desk. It's like an old friend."

By the time we had done all we could do in his room, he had a good start on getting his things put away. "When you've finished, come down for a snack," Paula said. We all went downstairs where Paula had drinks and snacks on the table. We sat and talked about what had happened. "Well, I certainly hope you're right and that his father will come around," Paula said. "Sure hate to see parents and kids separated."

"Well, I don't!" Eugene said most emphatically.

"You don't what?" Kent said, coming into the kitchen.

"I don't hate it that my parents and I are separated -- I mean my biological parents," Eugene said. "Paula was just saying she hoped your dad came around and that she hated it when parents and kids are separated. I was disagreeing with her."

"Kinda emphatic about that, aren't you?" Kent asked.

"Damn right," Eugene said. "I'm glad my biological parents are gone to the devil knows where. Millie's my mom, the only parent I have or want. I hope I never see the Joyces again!"

"The Joyces? Who are the Joyces?"

"Kent, you're going to get sick and tired of the soap opera we have been in for the past months," Eugene said, "but I guess the more you know about us, the more you will feel at home. I know we often talk in riddles -- not to hide anything from you, but we've all been through the good times and bad times together and don't need to tell each other anything about the past. Well, you may as well know about me." Eugene started telling his story but, before he had really started, Larry got in on the conversation after looking at Eugene who kinda shrugged.

"Well, you may as well know more than you want to know," Larry said. "Our story starts together -- well, not really, I mean Eugene's story begins before mine. Sorry, Gene."

Eugene told the whole shitty story of his abuse by McBride and the outcome and, when he finished, Larry and Eugene together told their own personal story. "As I said, more than you wanted to know, I'm sure," Larry said, his head hanging down and tears in his eyes.

Eugene had moved to where he could put his arm around Larry and was holding him tight, his own eyes filled with tears. "Babe, we still have a long way to go, but we'll get there," Eugene said as he lifted Larry's chin and kissed him gently, tenderly, on the lips.

I didn't know what to expect from Kent and must admit I was surprised when I looked up and saw him sitting, looking at Larry and Eugene with tears in his eyes. He got up slowly, walked to the two, put his arms around them, hugged them tightly and said, "You two didn't have to do that -- not that I am sorry that you did, it's just that telling your story is more than anyone, even a long-time friend could ask. I am honored that you trusted me enough to do so. Eugene, I want you to know that I admire you tremendously and your power to forgive. I couldn't. But Larry, if Eugene loves you that much, you have earned my respect."

"Thanks," the two said.

"Wish you hadn't gotten mixed up with this bunch?" Paula asked.

"No, not at all. I'll admit my head's spinning and I have never known people so up-front and honest. I thought southerners were reluctant to be so open," Kent replied.

"Two things: if southerners trust you, they trust you; and you can always bet they will never give a short answer when a story will do. They may even force the story a bit, but you're going to get a story," I laughed. Suddenly the mood lifted as I was sure it would. Poor Kent sure had a lot dumped on him in two days, including his own story. "But hey, guys, this is our last Saturday before school starts and we are sitting here telling stories. Kent, know of any falls around here?" I asked.

"Falls, like on a river?"

"Sure."

"Afraid not, why?"

"That's too long a story for now," I said. "How about just a river?"

"Well, a branch of the Black River is fairly close. Why?"

"Think we could find a place to picnic on it?"

"Haven't tried, but we could take a look," Kent said.

Fifteen minutes later, we put a packed picnic basket and blankets in Eugene's car and the six of us piled in. It was a tight fit, but the day was beautiful, the top was down and we were off. Some miles later, we passed a farmhouse and Kent said, "I know the old couple who live here. The river runs through their place, although I have never seen it. I came out here with Dad a couple years ago and come back two or three times a year to help them get things done they can't do themselves. They have two sons who live on the west coast and only come every year or so, stay a day or two at most and leave. They send money to their parents, but I think they are ashamed of them since they are both big in the entertainment business. They're a great old couple. Why don't we stop by and see if they can tell us of a nice spot?"

"Sounds like a grand idea to me," Eugene said, as he turned the car around and drove down the lane leading to the farmhouse.

When we pulled up out front, an elderly man came to the door and peered out as Kent walked toward it. When Kent reached the porch he said, "Good afternoon, Mr. van Hook. Kent Glaze."

"Kent, Kent, good to see you. I couldn't tell who you were at first, but I see you clearly now. You've become a grown man since I saw you last fall. Come in, come in. Ask your friends in."

We walked into an immaculate living room with photos and all the treasures an old couple collect. It was a very comfortable place, well lived-in and, I suspect, lived in well. Seated in a rocker was a tiny white-headed woman. "Mr. van Hook, Mrs. van Hook, these are my friends and housemates," Kent said, and introduced us. "We were out looking for a place on the river where we might have a picnic and, when we came to your place, I thought you might be of help to us."

"There is a place on the river where Mrs. van Hook and I used to take the kids. We haven't been in years -- don't get around as well as we once did. There's still, I'm sure, a field road that takes you within a hundred feet or so of it. If you're careful, you can make it in the car. It's a lovely spot as I remember," he said, wistfully.

I saw Luke's and Eugene's faces light up as Kent smiled and turned to us with a question on his face. Eugene nodded.

"I'm not sure we could find it without help," Kent said, in what sounded like a kind of hopeless voice. "I don't suppose you and Mrs. van Hook would have time to show us would you?"

Mr. van Hook looked at his wife, who already had started getting out of her chair, and asked, "Ma, think we're up to it?".

"Well," she said, "I'd really hate to disappoint these young people. I guess we could try."

The two moved amazingly well as they got ready and came with us to the car. "Don't see how we can all fit in," Mr. van Hook said.

"We'll manage," Eugene said as he held the car door for the two. When they were seated, Paula and Larry got in and Eugene took the driver's seat. Luke, Kent and I sat on the top of the back seat, riding like heros in a parade as Mr. van Hook directed Eugene to a field road which began behind the barn.

Eugene drove slowly -- he was, after all, driving a convertible where he should have had the Jeep, but the road wasn't all that bad. When we had driven about a mile, Mr. van Hook said, "Ma, isn't this the spot?".

She nodded and said, "I think I hear the river". Sure enough, the sounds of a river could be heard.

Luke and I hopped off the car, walked through the branches of the trees and looked out on a wide, grassy area under high trees. The area sloped gently down to a broad, slow-moving, beautiful river. We went back to the car and Luke said, "No falls, but it's perfect. A wonderful spot. Let's go."

"I guess one of you needs to take us back to the house," Mr. van Hook said.

"Don't think so," Kent said. "I think you have just been invited to a picnic."

"Oh, we wouldn't want to intrude on your picnic," Mrs. van Hook said.

"Nonsense," Larry said. "Without you, we wouldn't be having one. Let's go!" He opened the car door and helped the somewhat frail woman from the car. When he reached the trees, he held the branches aside with one hand and Mrs. van Hook's arm with the other as they walked toward the river. Kent assisted Mr. van Hook, and the rest of us got the things from the car.

We soon had the blankets spread where the old couple would be a bit more comfortable sitting on the ground. As soon as they were seated, Luke asked, "Is the river safe for swimming?".

"Don't think you'll find it deep enough for swimming, but our sons always played in it so I guess it's safe to play in," Mr. van Hook replied. The words were hardly out of his mouth before all six of us were in the river, wading and playing around. From time to time, one of us would leave the river and go sit with the van Hooks since, without discussing it, we knew they shouldn't be left out. Finally Luke went up to Mrs. van Hook and said, "Madame, I think you need to remove your shoes". Mrs. van Hook looked at him with a puzzled expression as Luke repeated, "Off with the shoes, woman," in a commanding voice. Mrs. van Hook looked at him as if he had lost him mind, and slowly started removing her shoes and hose. When she had them off, Luke reached down, lifted the tiny woman in his arms and carefully carried her to the river. When he reached the bank, he very, very carefully walked into the river and, about midstream, carefully stood her on her feet. As he did he said, "A beautiful woman like yourself shouldn't have to sit out the fun". Luke never took his eyes off her and his hand never left her arm as she waded about the shallow river, a girlish smile on her face.

Seeing what Luke was up to, Larry asked Mr. van Hook if he'd like to join his bride. The old man looked at first like he wouldn't, then he looked up at Larry and said, in an excited voice, "Damn right I would, Son!" as he stripped off shoes and socks and started rolling up his pants legs. Larry picked him up as if he weighed nothing, and carried him into the river as he shouted, "Ma, it's like old times!".

Fifteen minutes later, Luke and Larry brought the couple from the river and Paula handed them towels, as she did the rest of us. When we had dried ourselves, she and Luke got the picnic basket and we soon had a delicious picnic spread. All hungry, we were ready to dive in. The van Hooks started to protest again, but we would have none of it and they joined in our evening meal. As they did, they asked about us, beginning with, "Where are you kids from? I know it's not from around here," Mrs. van Hook laughed. "You sound southern."

"We are," I said. We told then about home and why we were here and why we had been looking for a river.

"They have bought the old Roth place on the lake," Kent said, "and you should see what they've done already. It's looking great."

"How'd you run across them, Kent?" Mrs. van Hook asked, and Kent told her how we met and that he was living with us. Before she could ask why, he told them it was closer to Case and, by living with us, he'd have transportation. "Well, I hope you know you got one fine young man here," she said as she reached over and patted Kent's hand. Kent blushed! It was good to know someone was as bad about that as I was!

We sat around talking and listening to the van Hooks telling us about their life together here on the farm, about their successful sons and how much they enjoyed coming to the river after many years. Finally it was time to go, so we packed up the things and, once again, drove down the farm road.

When we reached the house, both the van Hooks kept thanking us and stood on the porch, waving until we were out of sight.

It was just sunset when we got back to the house. We unloaded the car and then all went to the sun porch to watch the sunset. As the sun finally slipped out of sight, Kent said, "You know you made two lonely old people very happy today".

"And just think how much enjoyment they added to our Saturday afternoon," I said. "It was wonderful having them with us."

"I think it was the way to spend our last free Saturday," Eugene said. There were nods of agreement all around.

We sat around talking about nothing really, for several minutes, then Kent said, "This afternoon, you asked about falls. Why falls?"

"You are really asking for stories now," Paula laughed. "Sooner or later every story we have involves the falls. THE FALLS are on the Sequoyah River which runs through the Family's farms, and have played an important part in all our lives."

"Yea, as a matter of fact, they have been important almost from the beginning of the Family," Luke said, and then he and I told how the Family came to be. When we finished, I said, "As a matter of fact, the Concord Five are spending today, and probably tonight, at the falls. I wonder what's going on? Well, anyway, I think that's enough for tonight."

"I want to hear more another time," Kent said.

"No need to worry about that, I'm sure," Larry laughed.

When we got inside, Paula said "Goodnight," and went to her room.

"Matt, go on up. I'll be up in a few minutes," Luke said.

As we walked up the stairs, Eugene said, "Matt, if you and Luke are not using the shower right now, think Larry and I would like it."

"Time to play with your water toys?" I laughed.

"Time to play with my boy water toy," he replied and hugged Larry to himself.

"I just need to brush my teeth and take a leak," Kent said, after he had turned bright red. "I'll shower in the morning."

"That's what I planned to do as well," I said. "I'll grab our toothbrushes and use your bathroom when you're finished," I said to Kent. "Go at it, you two."

I went to the room and was waiting for Kent to finish when Luke came up. "Larry and Eugene are using the shower," I said. "Suspect they will be in no hurry, so I grabbed our toothbrushes."

"Just leave mine and I'll get it in a minute. You go ahead."

Luke sure was acting strangely and I was sure he was hiding something behind his back. Since I couldn't find out what it was, I went across the hall, did my business and was brushing my teeth when he came in. He took a piss, then came to the basin beside me and brushed his teeth. As I turned to leave, he grabbed my arm and held me until he finished.

When we walked back to the room, I saw what was up. Luke had put a candle on each of the night stands and one each on the chest and dresser. The bed was covered with two beach towels and a vacuum bottle was on a night stand. As he closed the door, he took me into his arms and kissed me as he started undressing me slowly, a game two could play. I undressed my Bright Angel and, again, we stood -- holding hands at arms' length -- each admiring the body we had promised to worship with our own. Luke pulled me to himself and kissed me again, tenderly at first, but his kiss grew into a deep, sensuous one as he lifted me into his arms and carried me to the bed.

Placing me gently on the bed, Luke slowly covered my body with his as he kissed me very gently and tenderly. He raised his head a bit, looked deep into my eyes and smiled as he said, "Matt, I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love you. Yesterday, while you were asleep, I got out of bed and just sat looking at you. Matt, I was absolutely overwhelmed by my love for you, and even more when I realized how much you love me." Luke's lips covered mine and his tongue entered my mouth slowly, softly, bringing with it the taste of my beloved Yonghon Tongmu. I was surprised when Luke's kisses continued soft and gentle. Passionate? Well, maybe not passionate, but filled with love and powerful. Slowly, he reached out and took the vacuum bottle from the night stand and, as he rolled off of me he sat up, opened the bottle and poured a stream of warm oil over my chest and started to massage it slowly with his strong, but gentle, fingers. All the time he was half-sitting, half-lying beside me, his eyes looking into mine and a beautiful Luke smile on his face. Luke moved his hands slowly over my body and, strangely enough, I didn't get aroused -- just relaxed and glowing in his warm smile. Luke continued to rub the oil over my body, carefully avoiding Chili Pepper. Even when Luke asked me to turn over and massaged my back in the same slow rhythm, I was not aroused. Rather, I felt his gentle fingers expressing his deep, deep love for me.

Eventually he stopped and I turned over, and his lips covered mine in the gentlest possible kiss. "Sarang Hanun Pomul," Luke said, "it's not about sex, is it?" At first I didn't know what he meant, but then I realized that before, when we had done the oil bit, it had always ended in fantastic hot sex but, as I said, I had not been aroused by Luke's gentle touch. Much more than being aroused, I felt that through his fingers our very souls had merged. When I looked at Little Luke, I saw that Luke was not aroused either.

I looked into Luke's blue eyes, smiled and said, "No, Yonghon Tongmu, it's much more than sex. It's about love uniting us, making us one." Luke smiled again, kissed me with an angel kiss and I melted. He lay, his head on my chest, listening to my heart. "Matt, my Dark Angel, your heart is calling me," he said.

"Always, my beloved Bright Angel." We lay quietly for a while, then I raised my head and lifted Luke's chin to look into his eyes. He knew what I wanted and lay back on the bed. I poured a stream of the still-warm oil on his body and, as he had done me, began to massage his hard body gently, lovingly. I noticed as I did that I still wasn't aroused. When I had finished his back and he turned over I, as he had done, lay with my head over his heart, listening for my name in its steady rhythm and, sure enough, that was what I heard.

We lay together, Luke's arms about me, my head on his chest, saying and doing nothing. After a long silence, Luke said, "Matt, this was a wonderful afternoon. As I watched the van Hooks, I saw their deep love for each other and thought, 'When Matt and I are old we, too, will still have each other to love and cherish,' and I felt good." I raised my head, looked into Luke's eyes and smiled, then kissed him softly. Wrapped in each other's arms, still covered with oil, we talked about all that had happened to us in the recent weeks, about having Kent live with us, and all sorts of things -- things lovers talk about which seem unimportant to others.

Finally, Luke got up, took my hand and pulled me to my feet, and we walked to the bathroom and look a long, hot shower. But other than hugs and kisses -- of which there were plenty -- we didn't play around. After we had dried each other, we stripped the towels from the bed and lay in each other's arms until we drifted off to sleep. We had made love, don't doubt that, but we had not had, or seemed to need to have, sex.

Luke

Sometime in the night -- I could see the stars over the lake -- I woke up and didn't know why, then I heard a low chuckle. I turned toward it and saw Rich, Rich Smith, standing beside the bed. He was dressed in black leather and was playing with his cock. "What...?" I started to say when he laughed again.

"Didn't get any tonight, did you Luke? You might have known that would be the way it was. You're hot, man, and I'm hot. Had you gone along with me, you'd never have to go to sleep without fucking or being fucked. Instead, you chose Matt and look where that got you. You're a fool, Luke."

"What the hell are you doing here, Rich? How'd you get in? Who invited you to come?"

"Hey, one question at a time. What am I doing here? Isn't that obvious? I'm looking for the same thing you are: hot sex, down and dirty fucking. I've never been far away, Luke, just waiting for you to realize what a mistake you made choosing Matt and his 'making love' over good, hard fucking. How'd I get in? I supposed you left the door unlocked, suspecting I was around. Why else would you leave it unlocked? Who invited me? Why you did Luke. I could feel your frustration when Matt just went to sleep tonight without giving you any. Do you want to do it here? Might wake up pretty boy Matt. Come on, get up. The beach is nice and I'd love to have you fuck my brains out in the moonlight."

"Rich, I didn't want you, I've never really wanted you. Matt and I had a wonderful time tonight -- without having sex. Sex is just a part of it, Rich, just a part of being in love and making love. You're the fool, not me."

"Still playing hard to get, Luke? You're not. You're a cock-hungry pushover. Come on, I'll prove it."

Rich's left hand continued to stroke his cock as he reached out with his right hand and grabbed me by the wrist. "Get your dirty hands off me!" I shouted.

Rich laughed again and leaned over the bed, grabbed the back of my head and forced my mouth toward his hard cock. "God damn you, you bastard," I shouted as I struggled to get away. "Get your filthy hands off me. Get your cock out of my face! Go to hell, Rich." I was shouting over and over again and suddenly started crying while still struggling and shouting.

Rich suddenly reached out with both hands, grabbed my shoulders and started shaking me, calling my name, "Luke, take my big cock. Come on Luke, take it, you know you want it," he said as he continued to shake me.

"Luke, Luke, Babe, wake up!" someone, Matt, cried.

Dimly, and far away, I knew Matt was calling me. Once again, Rich had me and I was going to lose Matt. That was not going to happen! I summoned all my strength and shoved and kicked Rich away. I heard him hit the floor and I jumped up, my fist drawn back to slam him a good one.

"Luke, Luke Babe, stop. It's me. It's Matt!" Matt was calling me from the floor. How did he get down there? I collapsed beside Matt and held him very, very close, crying my eyes out.

"Luke, what's wrong, Babe. Why did you shove me out of bed and start to hit me? What's wrong, Yonghon Tongmu?" Matt was holding me close, stroking my hair and speaking softly. He looked into my eyes and started kissing them. "Luke, Yonghon Tongmu, you were having a bad dream -- a nightmare, I guess," he said.

We were still sitting on the floor when Eugene, Larry and Kent all burst into the room. "Are you all right?" Eugene asked.

"What happened?" Kent asked. "I heard Luke shouting. What's wrong?"

"Luke had a nightmare, right?" Larry asked.

Matt was holding me close, stroking my hair, and I heard him say softly, "Yea, apparently a really bad one, a doozie. He kicked me out of the bed and was standing over me, his fist drawn back, when I finally got him awake. Thanks for checking on us, but we're ok now."

"I had hoped all that was over," Eugene said.

"Me too," Matt answered. "But we're ok. Go on back to bed and, again, thanks."

Slowly I realized that was what had happened. I had had a nightmare, none of it was real. I was still clinging to Matt, crying, and shaking all over. It took a few more minutes for me to get control of myself.

Matt reached up and switched on the bedside lamp. Its warm glow made the dream even less real. Finally, when I had myself under control, Matt looked me, smiled and said, "Mind if we get up off the floor?".

I shook my head and we got up. I lay on the bed with Matt beside me and told him about my dream. "Matt, he was taunting me because we didn't have sex last night."

"Luke, were you disappointed that we didn't have sex? Did I keep us from having sex? Did you really want to have sex?"

"Strange, Matt, but I didn't feel any need to have sex. We made love, but without sex, and I was happy. Did you want to have sex?"

"Luke, you know me, hot-to-trot Matt, but no. I felt no need for sex tonight. I was happy and fulfilled without it. As I was falling asleep, I was thinking about our having made love, there was no question in my mind about that, without having sex, and I was happy."

"Well, I just hope the nightmares don't start again," I said, and kissed Matt softly. We lay in each other's arms, without speaking, for a long while. Finally, nestled together, we drifted off to sleep again, and for me it was sleep filled with good dreams and no more nightmares.

Chapter Five

Luke

In spite of being awakened by the nightmare, I had slept well afterwards and was awake early. Matt was sleeping soundly beside me, but as soon as I got up to go to the bathroom, he was right behind me. "Ok, this morning, Luke?" he asked as we stood side-by-side, relieving ourselves.

"Sure. Yea. I'm fine. Feel like a run on the beach?"

"Sounds great." We went back to the room and put on running shorts and shoes. Just as we stepped into the hall, Kent poked his head out of his room. "'Morning. How are you two doing this fine Sunday morning?"

"Fine," I answered. "Want to go for a run?"

"Sure. Give me a minute to get dressed and I'll join you downstairs."

When we reached the kitchen, Paula was putting on coffee. "Want to go for a run before you do that?" I asked.

"Sounds good. Give me time to get dressed. Meet you on the beach."

Matt and I walked down to the lake. The house sat on a bluff twenty or thirty feet above the beach which gave us a fantastic view of the lake, but which meant getting to the beach involved a walk down a steep, zigzagging path. Fortunately, the beach was sandy for a couple miles in both directions because much of the shoreline in our area was too rocky for running. When we reached the beach, Matt and I started doing some stretching and warming-up exercises. A few minutes later we were joined, not by just Paula and Kent, but by Eugene and Larry as well. "Well, well, well," Matt said, "guess we don't have a lazybones in the bunch."

"I'm not lazy," Paula said, "but I'll not make an attempt to keep up with you five."

"Ok, let's run," Larry shouted and we took off. We ran about an mile, I guess, down the beach and then turned and started back. Paula wasn't far behind and fell right in with us as we ran back to the house.

We all quickly showered and got dressed in one thing or another and I reminded Matt and Eugene that it was their turn to start kitchen duties. It wasn't long before we had a big breakfast on the table but, as large as it was, it vanished quickly. "Kent, we'll take my car this morning and you can take either the truck or the Jeep," Eugene said. "Paula, if you want to look around, take what Kent leaves."

"Think I might just do that," she responded.

"Sunday dinner at 2:00," Matt announced as we went upstairs to get dressed.

Matt

It took me a while to go to sleep after Luke's nightmare. Fortunately, he drifted off to sleep quickly, snuggled against me. I wondered why he had the nightmare. Maybe it was just left over from before. Finally I fell asleep. I woke up when Luke got up to go to the bathroom and realized I needed to go too. When I asked Luke how he was doing, he kinda brushed off the question by saying he was fine. As I looked at him, I thought, "Luke, Babe, you may say you're fine, but I've been around too long. What's going on?" I wanted to ask him but didn't.

After a run and a big breakfast, It was time to go to church.

We had found a church, St. Anne's, not far from our place. It appeared to be a bit larger than St. Mary's, but not so large as to be impersonal. As we started up the walk to the church, I said to the other three, "I hope, oh how I hope, they have a decent organ!" As we got closer, I could hear the organ. Inside, I could see that it was much smaller than St. Mary's--and much older--but the sound was great!

The service was less formal--I guess Episcopalians would say it was Low Church--but the priest, who was in his thirties I think, had a decent sermon about caring for those others reject. He talked about all the times Jesus refused to judge and condemn people others considered outcasts. The four of us kept looking at each other and agreeing.

After the service, we introduced ourselves to the priest, Father Manville, although he didn't use the title Father. Luke told him we were used to it and asked if was ok to call him Father and he said it was. Several people welcomed us and asked if we were just visiting, and we told them we were Oberlin students so they asked us to come back.

When we got back home, Eugene and I finished preparing Sunday dinner and were just about ready to serve it when Kent came in. "Well, how do you like that?" he asked. "My family has always sat in the same pew and this morning when I got to it, Dad sorta wouldn't let me in. I mean, he wasn't nasty or anything, he just pretended I wasn't there. After church the pastor asked if there were problems at home and I told him there were. He made an appointment for me later this afternoon. I sure need to talk to him about what's going on."

Dinner was a fun time. We talked about all we had gotten done in the past week and laid out the week to come. Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Kent would go in to Case Western Reserve by himself. He, Larry and Luke had classes there Tuesday and Thursday and, of course, I would be going to Holtkamp.

Kent

Just before we finished dinner, remembering I had an appointment with Pastor Jensen, I asked if I could borrow transportation. "Kent," Luke said, "I told you before, you don't borrow a vehicle... if you have a need for it, it's yours--and you have a need for one. Think you should take my truck because, should we decide to do something this afternoon, Eugene's car or Matt's Jeep would hold the rest of us. The truck would not."

"Thanks, Luke. I'm having a hard time getting used to the idea that I am as much a part of this as anyone else. Thanks for reminding me."

My appointment was for 3:30 and I arrived a few minutes before. Pastor Jensen was waiting for me in his study. "Sorry to have to have you come out Sunday afternoon," I said as I shook hands with him.

"Must admit that I usually spend Sunday afternoon flaked out. May not seem like hard work but by the time I have finished the Sunday service, I am just wiped out. But I ate lunch and took a nap rather than just half-watching TV so I'm ok. Tell me what's going on. I couldn't help but notice you weren't sitting with your family. I spoke to your father about it and he said there was no problem."

"I guess he thinks there's not and maybe he's right, but I don't agree. I have left home and won't be going back. I guess that's not a problem for him but, to be honest, it is a problem for me." I then told Pastor what had happened and why. "So he has forbidden me to come home and so long as I can see Mom and Derrick, I don't care."

"You don't care? Are you sure?"

"Why should I care? Dad has never been a father to me. He has always rejected me, put me down. Nothing I ever do pleases him. He didn't want me from the beginning and that hasn't changed. No, I don't care." That's what I said but, inside, I know it was a lie. I wanted more than anything for Dad to put his arm around me and tell me he approved of something I had done, that I had made him proud, that he loved me. Strange, I knew I had tried to get my dad to approve of me but, for the first time, I really felt how very much, how very, very much I wanted that. I felt hot tears welling up in my eyes and fought to keep them back.

"Big boys and real men don't cry," I heard Dad's voice as clearly as if he was standing beside me. "You'll never be a real man, Kent, because you're nothing but a crybaby," the voice continued. Well, I tried to hold back the tears but, as had always happened for eighteen years, I failed and heard Dad's voice saying, "See, I told you". That did it. Hot, scalding tears flowed down my face in spite of all my efforts to stop them. I hung my head, ashamed, because once again my dad was proven right. I wasn't even a big boy, much less a man.

"Let it out, Kent, let it all out," Pastor Jensen said softly.

"But big boys and real men don't cry," I said, still crying in spite of all I could do to stop.

"I don't know about big boys and real men, but I tell you one thing: human beings, real human beings, cry when they hurt and I sense you are hurting. Only unfeeling people don't cry. Let it out."

That really broke the floodgates. I was crying so hard I was shaking all over. Great sobs escaped my throat. Pastor Jensen got up, walked over to me and put his arm around me. "Let it all out, Son," he said. His calling me son brought fresh tears and I was boohooing like a little kid. "That's right," he said, "let it out from the time you were just a kid."

I don't know how long, out of control, I cried in great sobs. Pastor handed me a tissue and then passed the box to me. When I had finally cried myself out, I looked at him and said, "I have never cried like that my whole life. I think I might have gotten control, but when you called me son, I couldn't handle it. I have never heard my father call me son or, if he has, it has been a put down."

"Kent, your father has a real problem which he is going to have to work on and solve himself. Neither you nor I can do that for him. I will, if he will allow it, help him all I can, but he has to do the work himself. Same with you. You'll have to work through your hurt and anger and forgive your father if you are ever to have a good relationship with him. I'll work with you both if you and he will permit it. If he won't, I'll work with you."

"Thank you, Pastor. I would like to do that." We set up a series of appointments--one a week--for the next six weeks.

As I got up to leave, he hugged me to himself and asked, "How do you feel, Kent?".

"Better than I have in a while," I answered, shook his hand and left.

When I got back to the house, I told the gang what had happened. "Good, glad you are getting help," Eugene said. "Gene and I have really been helped by therapy."

"Yea, but we still have a ways to go," Larry said.

Matt

Monday was Labor Day and we decided we'd make it a real holiday and not just a free day at home. We urged Kent to call Christine and ask her to go with us for a boat trip to an island in the lake and to an amusement park afterward. Luke suggested he also call Derrick and ask him to join us. "I'll pick him up so you won't have to go to his place," Luke added.

"He has a girl," Kent said, "would it be all right if she comes?"

"Sure," Luke said.

Eugene and I packed a picnic while Luke called a boat rental place and made arrangements for a cruise on the lake, having found out we didn't have time for a trip to the island. We knew the amusement park would be crowded, but we thought that would just add to the fun.

Luke left for the Glaze place about 9:00 and came back with Derrick and a very attractive young girl, Judy Duvall. While Luke made that trip, Kent went to pick up Christine. We were finally ready to go at 10:00, arriving at the boat dock at 11:00. We planned to have the picnic on the boat since we had asked for a three-hour cruise.

The cruise was really fun, something those of us from Concord had never done. Judy was really fun, reminding us of Mary Kathryn. She was witty, bright and very determined. It was obvious, however, that she and Derrick were just good friends and not lovers as were Michael and Mary Kathryn.

Christine was fun, but not nearly as alive as Kent. She just didn't seem his type. A clinging vine, she hung on Kent all the time. I just didn't see them as a couple. Of course, Kent had said they were just friends. As the day wore on, she made more and more effort to have Kent make out with her and I thought he was resisting more and more.

It was mid-afternoon before we got to the amusement park. As we had thought, it was crowded. In fact, it was so crowded that there were lines waiting for all the rides. By 5:00, we had all had it with waiting in line for very short rides. I was sure the operators kept making the rides shorter and shorter to make more money. "How about going home and cooking out?" Paula asked.

"Sounds good," Larry said.

When we got home, Eugene and I got food ready for a cookout while the others were playing on the beach. The guys had gathered wood for a bonfire later and they were playing catch on the beach. Paula and the two girls were sitting watching and talking. As soon as the food was ready, Eugene and I went to the beach and joined in the game.

"Luke, have you renewed your sunscreen?" I asked, shortly after Eugene and I had joined the game.

"Thanks for reminding me," Luke said, "as a matter of fact, I haven't." He brought me the bottle and asked that I do his back. As I did, he said, "Matt, you keep your hands moving like that and I may jump your bones right here in front of God and everybody!" He looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"We'll discuss this further tonight, alone," I smiled.

"Not sure it will be a long discussion," Luke said. "I want action, not words!"

Eugene called to me about sundown and he and I got the grill and charcoal and took them to the beach where he started the fire. We went back to the house for the food and, as soon as the grill was ready, started cooking.

Kent left early enough to get Christine home before her midnight curfew and Luke took Derrick and Judy home at the same time. Those of us left behind cleaned up and put things away. Luke and I took a long shower together, the beginning of long, drawn-out foreplay which ended with wonderful love-making. When we had finally exhausted ourselves, I cuddled in Luke's arms, kissed him softly and drifted off to sleep.

Tuesday morning we all started in the routine of classes and daily responsibilities at the house which would be ours for the fall semester. Tuesdays and Thursdays were rough for me--and for Luke, Larry and Kent--since I found I needed to stay at Holtkamp until five, and by the time I picked them up and we got home, it was close to 7:00. That first week, Eugene and I still had to prepare supper, so it was close to 8:30 before we could eat and then I had to prepare for next day's classes. Of course the others who had been in Cleveland had much of the day to prepare there. It was long after midnight before I got to bed. Luke said he would wait up for me, but I urged him to go on to bed. Both nights he was sound asleep when I got in bed. Thursday night he had another nightmare--not as bad as the earlier one, but bad enough to get me really worried.

The next couple weeks followed the same pattern of work and school. Of course I wasn't cooking but, nonetheless, my schedule left me very little time for anything except school and Holtkamp. I felt I was short-changing Luke, but he assured me the schedule would lighten up. I sure hoped so.

By the time we got home Friday afternoon of the third week of school, I had pretty much had it. When Eugene suggested the guys take in a movie, I started to say I didn't want to go, but Luke said it was a good idea before I said anything, so I went along.

The theater was almost full so we couldn't find five seats together. We finally found four together in the middle of the theater and there was one in front of the four. The two couples took the four seats, of course, and Kent sat in front of us. There were six guys a few rows down and, when he saw them, Kent turned around and said, "Now there's trouble looking for a place to happen," but didn't elaborate.

The movie wasn't particularly good and, since we were surrounded, Luke and I couldn't even make out. We did hold hands and once I laid my head on his shoulder, but then thought better of it. As we got up to leave, the six guys were walking up the aisle. Kent said, "There go six number one assholes. They are into everything. Their leader is Shawn Hendrick. His brother Sim is a policeman and rumor has it that he covers for Shawn."

As we walked toward Eugene's car, we saw the six by it. As soon as we got closer, it was obvious the six were spray-painting something on it. "Hey, what the hell do you think you are doing?" Eugene shouted as we started running toward the car. Spray-painted several times on the car was "faggot".

As soon as the six saw us, they quickly formed a line. "We're making sure everyone knows you are all fucking faggots," one of the said with a sneer. "Want to do something about it?"

"As a matter of fact I do," Eugene said, walking toward them.

"We all do," Kent said.

"Heard you were a cocksucker, Glaze. Not surprised to see you hanging out with these shitpackers. Saw them a week or so ago, smooching like lovebirds in the back row of the theater. We don't like having queers around here." As he spoke, the six had been slowly moving toward us and when he finished, they rushed us. Each time I had seen Eugene in action, I couldn't believe how fast he was. Kent sure could move was well. Before I got a chance to get into the action, each had put one of the thugs on the ground. The one Eugene sent down didn't try to get up, but the one Kent had sent to the dirt was ready to jump Luke from behind in seconds. I grabbed him by the collar, spun him around and landed a good one on his nose. It immediately started bleeding and he grabbed it and started running.

Larry and Kent had taken care of two more who decided to run, leaving three. Kent and Luke grabbed one, put him on the ground and Luke put his knee in his back, holding him down. Kent, Larry and I started toward the other two when one of them pulled a long knife. "You three take care of the unarmed one. This asshole is mine!" Before he knew what hit him the knife-carrying jerk was on his knees, crying, and his knife had sailed through the air some distance from him. "Well, we have half of them," Eugene said as he shoved the guy to the ground and placed his knee in his back.

"Don't worry about the three who got away. I know them," Kent said. "And there they go," he said as a car screamed out of the parking lot. As the car left, a police car drove up. It had to slow down as a crowd had surrounded us, watching the fight.

The car stopped and two officers got out and walked toward us. "Shawn, what's going on here?"

"There five guys jumped us when we came out of the theater," the guy under Luke's knee said.

"Guess you five need to come with me," the officer said.

"Don't think so, Sim," Kent said. "Your darling brother and his five buddies were spray-painting my friend's car when we came out and, when we walked over, they attacked us. They are the ones going downtown.

"You're lying, Glaze. You and your faggot friends attacked us for no reason."

"We'll settle this downtown. Shawn, get up and go home. You four step over here. Glaze, you're a local boy so I think you just better hit it on home yourself. Why don't you just hop in that fag car and get the hell out of here before I run you in too?"

The two officers had the four of us lean against their car, patted us down and then used plastic ties to tie our hands behind our back. "Shawn, I told you to go home," the officer said.

"I can't, Sim. Lewis took my car.'

"Well, call him and tell him to get back here. You don't need to be around. Jack, you can take two of these faggots downtown and I will stay here with the other two until you get back." I looked at Kent and indicated that he should go by swinging my head around.

"Officer, why are you arresting those four? They didn't do anything except defend themselves. I saw it all," a woman in the crowd called out.

"You don't know what the fuck you saw, old bitch. Shut your mouth or you'll be keeping these four company."

"Ok, Glaze, get gone. Shawn, you better get out of here as well. You two, go with Jack," the officer said to Eugene and Luke, shoving them toward the patrol car. As he went to put them in the patrol car, Larry said, quietly, "Kent, go and call everyone you can think of. I think we are in really big trouble." Kent nodded, took the keys Eugene tossed to him and drove off.

Larry

As we started walking toward the car, Matt started shaking as tears ran down his cheeks. "When will it end? he asked. "We hurt no-one or anything and we were attacked and we get arrested. And, except for the one elderly lady, the crowd stood by and did and said nothing. When will it end?"

I put my arm around him and said, "Matt, they attacked us for no reason and that pisses me off but, to tell the truth, the crowd didn't have time to do much. It was all over almost before it started. That Kent is one fast dude," and laughed.

"Yea, he is almost as fast as that Eugene dude," and Matt smiled weakly.

The crowd had disappeared except for an elderly couple. The woman was the one who had spoken up earlier. She walked very close to us and, as she passed, slipped a piece of paper into my pocket, looked at me and smiled.

Sim Hendrick walked back to where we were and as he swaggered up said, "You faggots talk like hillbillies. We don't like hillbillies in our town and we don't like queers, and we really don't like hillbilly queers." As he spoke, he grabbed Matt by the chin, forced his head back and half-talked, half-spit in Matt's face. Matt lost it and started struggling. I knew at once that was a mistake as Officer Hendrick kneed him in the balls. Matt collapsed on the ground, drew himself into the fetal position and moaned. I wanted to bust the son of a bitch one, but knew that with my hands behind my back I could do nothing.

Jack finally came back and took Matt and me to the police station and tossed us into a dirty, filthy, smelly cell. Luke and Eugene were in the cell across the narrow passageway. The other two cells in the small jail held Friday night drunks whose cheap booze was in evidence as they kept throwing up. A couple leaned against the wall and pissed on the floor, adding to the stench which was already terrible. I was surprised we had not been searched, but in case they decided to make up for overlooking it, I took the paper from my pocket and tucked it under the edge of the filthy mattress resting on a steel shelf attached to the wall.

The jailor came back and did pat us down, taking what we had in our pockets and putting it in envelopes. When he left, we started talking quietly and Matt was just still pretty much out of it--he was incoherent, he was so out of control. The jailor came back and told us to shut up and dimmed the lights. It seemed hours, but it was just 1:00 when Kent and a very distinguished man came back with the jailor. "I'm Lem Aldridge," the man said. "For the time being, I'm your lawyer. It took some doing, but we have you released without bond so you can go home and get some sleep. I'll come out to your place in the morning around 11:00. We've got a real mess on our hands, but maybe it's for the good."

When we got home, Paula was waiting for us, as upset as I had ever seen her. She grabbed all of us and kept hugging us and crying. We went over and over the night, trying to make sense out of it. Matt had gotten very quiet and just sat staring, occasionally saying, "When will it end?". Luke held him close and stroked his hair, soothing him.

"Look," Kent said, "there's nothing we can do tonight and it's almost three in the morning. Now let's see if we can get some sleep." We all nodded and slowly dragged ourselves to bed. "Damn," Luke said to Eugene, "what the hell did we do to deserve this?"

"Just who the hell said we deserved it?" he asked as he kicked the wall. Needless to say, none of us slept very well.

Luke

I had never seen Matt in the condition he was in. I had been told how he was when he learned about my second suicide attempt, but hadn't seen it. I could hardly believe the shaking, sobbing man in bed with me was Matt. I guess he finally wore himself out because finally he was--about 4.00 or so--asleep. I was able to get to sleep shortly afterward, but it was certainly not peaceful sleep. I kept dreaming I was in that filthy cell as months passed.

It was 10:00 the next morning when Paula came upstairs and called us, telling us we needed to get up and get dressed. Matt was a wreck, and I was little better, as we got up. There was a tap on the door and Kent said, "Guys, I have finished with the bathroom if you want to come across the hall."

"Thanks, Kent," I said and guided Matt across the hall. By the time we had showered, he was in better shape but still not at his best but, then, neither was I. We dressed without saying very much. When we were ready to go down, I took Matt in my arms, held him tightly and kissed him tenderly. "Remember, Sarang Hanun Pomul, we can handle anything life throws our way so long as we have each other."

"Yonghon Tongmu, just how much more can life throw our way?" I had no answer so I just kissed Matt again, took his hand and we walked downstairs.

The four sitting around the kitchen table did nothing to lighten my mood. All were drinking coffee and had not bothered with anything else. There was no talk and everyone was just sitting, blank looks on their faces, staring with unseeing eyes.

When the doorbell rang, Eugene got up and went to answer it. He came back to the kitchen with Mr. Aldridge. As he entered the kitchen he smiled weakly, "I guess 'Good morning' wouldn't go down so well today. Wish I could tell you everything's ok, but I can't. We need to do some serious talking and get to work."

"Coffee?" Paula asked and, when Mr. Aldridge nodded, she poured a mug and asked, "Cream and sugar?".

"Black. And I hope it's strong."

"Well, at least you'll find that's ok, I suspect," she said as she set the mug down before him.

"Is this ok, or do we need to go somewhere else?" Eugene asked.

"I think this is fine," Mr. Aldridge said. "I can spread out anything I have to right here. Ok, I guess you know that you have gotten yourself in a real mess. Clearly, the six attacked you, but you have learned how things operate in Waterside. Stay out of there. Go somewhere else. It may be a bit out of your way, but you'll be going to Oberlin and can do shopping and movie-going there or somewhere else. Bypass it on your way in to Cleveland if you have been going through it. Under no circumstances are you to go back except under my direct instructions. It is very important that you understand you do not go back to that town or even drive through it. Kent told me that you four are gay and I don't know how that was accepted where you came from..."

"We had some problems in the beginning, but they didn't last. Sure there are still some people who don't like it, but they're no real problem," Eugene said.

"You are lucky then. A lot of people think, since it is in the north, Ohio is more liberal than the 'bigoted south'," he looked up and smiled, "but I can tell you Ohio, especially the small towns, is about as close-mined as you can get--and Waterside ranks at the top of the list. By the way, you were sure lucky that Sim Hendrick let Kent go. I'm not sure why he did, other than the fact that he saw him as one of the local boys. Kent called Pastor Jensen, who knows what's going on, and he called me, otherwise you'd still be in jail and I'm not sure what shape you would have been in. People have been badly hurt who shouldn't have been in jail, but were. I want to be very up front with you and ask for your help and hope you will give it, although I can see why you might not."

"Right now, the town is under the control of a bunch of white racists. They hate four groups: in their words, hillbillies, niggers, wetbacks and faggots. There has always been a small black community on the wrong side of the tracks, but a few years ago middle class African-Americans left the inner city and came to the suburbs. A new group of African-Americans were showing up in the more up-scale communities, shops and other places. They were resented because they have made something of themselves. Most have not stayed. I mean if you move out of the projects to escape gunfire, why spend half a million for a house and learn you can expect gunfire and cross-burning?"

"Southerners, all of whom are called hillbillies, have also been a presence in the town, having come here in the fifties looking for work. They pretty much kept to themselves for a generation, by then they looked and talked like the natives but were still resented because they had 'invaded' the town. The latest group arriving is Hispanics, mostly Mexicans. They are resented because they are different. Like the hillbillies, they talk funny. There are complaints about them taking jobs, but that's not true--or wasn't--because no-one would take the jobs they took. Now, of course, they are working their way up the ladder and those they are leaving behind resent it. Gays? Well, there's two things going on there. First there are the churches--and I hate to say this--which preach hatred of gays. You've, no doubt, seen the slogans and maybe even heard the diatribes. Unfortunately, the churches which accept--or at least tolerate--gays are in the minority. The store-front churches and so-called Christian Right are definitely in the majority. Additionally, they have been, and are, manipulated by cynical politicians."

"The outcome of all this was a very dirty political campaign four years ago, which played the race and hate card very well--sometimes openly, especially when aimed at the poorly educated and the Christian Right. At other times it was much more subtle. The result was a group, who might as well wear white sheets, gained control of the town..."

"I thought that was the shame of the South," Matt spoke for the first time.

"As much as some would like to think otherwise, the South has actually been more tolerant of difference than a lot of other places," Mr. Aldridge continued. "So a group of racists is in control. They control the police, the city council and mayor. Not only are they stirring up hatred all the time, but they are also busy lining their pockets and, of course, have police cooperation. You have experienced one of the results of a town being run by a hate group. There have been plenty of complaints, but those who have complained have often become victims of those in control. Few, now, dare speak out. But complaints have finally been heard by the state police and they have called in the FBI for help. Pastor Jensen has been involved from the first in the investigation. He has--Kent, do you know this?--found a few trusted teenagers to purchase liquor from convenience stores that have paid off the police so they can sell alcohol to minors. He knew I was working behind the scenes and called me when Kent called him last night. Sooo, I'd like to do two things if you agree. First, I'd like to handle your case. I'll expect my regular fee, which will be $200 for each of you. Sounds stiff, but that's actually less than most would charge. I'll do what I would do in any case such as yours and the fee proves it's on the up and up. Can you handle that?"

"I'll write a check if that's acceptable," Paula said, since we had made her house treasurer and bookkeeper.

"Sure, when you get around to it. Now that I am officially retained by you, I'll file some charges. In regard to the police treatment of you, I will draft a complaint charging your civil rights have been violated and file it with the right people--that's a federal charge. I'll also file charges against those who attacked you--for assault with the intend to do bodily harm and for damaging your personal property, the car. I think the latter would be better handled as a civil case since what we want out of it is money to repair the car plus money to pay your attorney's fees and for your suffering. By the way, Matt, there will be a separate civil rights charge against Sim Hendrick, one of police brutality, for his treatment of you. He may have given you a knee in the balls, but before the federal boys are through with him, he'll wonder if he has any left--balls that is. These charges will all be filed, but when and with whom is up in the air right now because of the situation in Waterside. To file them openly right now would jeopardize the ongoing investigation I mentioned."

"The second thing is I'd like to have you help getting the evidence we need against the police and one judge. There is a young honest judge working with us, but the old judge is a part of the bunch controlling the town. I will be honest, there is some danger involved, but I think we can offer protection to keep you safe."

We looked at each other and it was obvious that all six of us--Kent was very much with us--were suddenly alive. "I don't think you could stop us if you wanted to," I said. "I'll tell you as well, we are a pretty good team when it comes to a fight like this."

"Great! For now, I'll take you in to see the chief of police and ask that the charges be reduced to disturbing the peace. If necessary, I'll find some excuse to leave if he doesn't ask for a pay-off, so you suggest it--but be careful. If he agrees, he'll take you to see the judge. They will discuss your case and the judge will, if he follows his usual practice, hint that he is looking at jail time for you. The chief will suggest a fine and the judge will ask what is in it for him and, sooner or later, will suggest he give you a small fine instead of jail if he receives a pay-off. I don't need to be there since I am an officer of the court but, if I am, I'll file the complaint and have it held until we are ready to move. We need all this on tape, so all four of you will be wearing a wire. We're also trying to get a video so I will have a hidden camera in my briefcase. I'll take the briefcase in and if I don't get to go to the judge with you, you might pick it up to bring to me. Are you game?"

I looked around and saw that all of us were aching to go since we had all half-risen from our seats.

"Hold on, wait just a minute," Mr. Aldridge said. "I'll have to check out some things first." Having said that, he took his cell phone from his briefcase and dialed a number. "Hi, Chief, how's it going? ... Well, I'm here with my clients from last night. Appreciate you letting them out of jail... Well, Chief, I was wondering if we could discuss their case... Sounds great. Meet you in your office at 4:30. Think Judge Harrison might show up in his chambers as well? I'd like to get this out of the way. Doesn't pay very good money, you know, and it could take up time I could be making a lot more. Yea, they came up with my fee. They are college kids, but I think they have money... Well, not enough to give me a huge fee... I know... see you at 4:30."

"I'm doing a balancing act there," he said as he folded his phone. I wanted him to know you weren't broke, but also didn't want him to think you were rolling in money or he would have upped his price. Actually, from all we have found out, he and Judge Harrison might as well have a price list posted on their wall. This is going to cost you plenty, but the alternative is jail. The chief will expect $250 from each of you--minimum, I suspect--as will the judge. Can you come up with that?"

"Well, we can, but that's sure going to take a bite out of our budget," Paula said.

"And it will need to be cash," the lawyer said.

"That will be a problem since it's Saturday," Larry said, "and the ATM will only give out $300 per person per day."

"Get what you can," Mr. Aldridge said, "and write me a check for the balance. I can get the manager at one of the banks to get the cash. He's in on the plan to overthrow this despotic reign we're living under. It really cuts into new business and housing. As a matter of fact, you just write one check for the whole thing if you can and don't bother with the ATMs."

"Separate checks ok?" Eugene asked.

"Better. And make each one include my fee. That way, should anyone question it, it is my fee. Ok, I'll run back to town. Here's my card, I'll meet you at my office at 3:30--that's an hour and a half from now. If I could get the checks, I'll get the money. I need to do that and get things set up." While we wrote the checks, Mr. Aldridge make a phone call to the manager of the bank and arranged to meet him in half an hour. "Well, I've done all I can do here," he said, as he pocketed the checks. "See you at 3:00. Paula, I suggest you and Kent stay here and man the phone should we need anything. By the way, don't drive the car in since it is known. Hope you got the paint off at least."

"I got most of it off last night," Kent said, "but it will take professionals to complete the job."

"I hope we get money to do that out of the bunch who did it when this is over," Mr. Aldridge said. "Well, I'm on my way," he continued as he shook hands all around.

"Oh, I forgot," Larry said. "While I was standing around after the police arrived last night, a woman who had spoken out put a note in my pocket. Here it is. I haven't looked at it."

He opened the note and read, "We saw everything. Contact us."

He looked up, puzzled, "That's all. No phone number or way to contact them. Not much help I guess."

"Not surprised there's no way to find out who wrote it," Mr. Aldridge said. "She knew you were going to end up in jail and couldn't risk exposure."

"Who gave that to you?" Kent asked.

"The woman who spoke out," Larry replied.

"I guess she hoped I would know about the note," Kent said. "Mr. Aldridge, it was Lucy Metcalf. Jim was with her. She spoke out, but was told she'd be in jail if she didn't shut up."

"I'll give them a call. Maybe we've got more going for us than we thought. Well, I've got to get to town."

When he had gone, we finally got something to eat although no-one really felt like it--but Paula insisted. "Man, this is going to put a real dent in the budget," Larry said.

"Sure will," Matt agreed, "but I don't think we have a whole range of choices. I'm sure sorry we got you two into this," he said, looking at Kent and Paula.

"We're in this, as everything else, together," Paula said.

"Agreed," Kent added.

"Think we should call the family?" I asked.

"Not yet," Eugene said. "Let's see what happens first. If we called now they would just worry and there's nothing they can do."

"Sounds right," I agreed. "Don't know about the rest of you, but I think I need to shower and shave." There were nods around the table and the four jailbirds went upstairs to take care of that.

We found Mr. Aldridge's office after making a couple wrong turns, but arrived at 3:00 nonetheless. When we walked in, he was on the phone and motioned us to sit down. "Everything's in place?" he asked and then nodded. "Ok, the kids are here so I'll get them briefed while you come over."

He hung up the phone and said, "Agent Perkins of the Ohio Bureau of Investigation and Agent Haines of the FBI are on their way over. They will get you wired and make sure the wires and the hidden camera are working. Things have been moving faster than we expected. Seems the Ohio Bureau got a tip that the Metcalfs might be roughed up. They stationed some of their people at the Metcalfs' house and, sure enough, your two cop friends showed up. The Bureau people had time to get the Metcalfs wired so the whole threatening conversation is on tape. When things looked as if they might get rough, a couple of the agents went to the house, pretending to be visitors from out of state, and the two cops left. Agents Perkins and Haines think we've got enough and want to move in at once before someone gets really hurt, but I urged them to hold off a while. Here they are now."

A very well-built black man and a tall, good-looking red-headed woman walked in. "Agent Haines," Mr. Aldridge said, indicating the woman, "this is Larry, Eugene, Luke and Matt. Guys, Agent Sharon Haines of the FBI. She's in charge of their part of this operation. And this is Agent Albert Perkins of the Ohio Bureau of Investigation."

We shook hands all around and Agent Perkins said, "Luke, you look surprised".

"I guess I shouldn't be, but I'm surprised a woman agent is heading up the FBI's operation here."

"It has its advantages," she smiled. "Ok, let's get you wired and checked out." She and Agent Perkins went to work and soon had us wired. The devises were much smaller than I thought. They would be hard to find unless the person doing the search was very careful. Agent Haines then opened a case about the size of a briefcase, picked up a pair or headphones and had Mr. Aldridge and Agent Perkins speak as she turned a dial. "Ok, the wires are working fine. Guess we're set to go."

"I've got the money," Mr. Aldridge said as he opened a desk drawer. "I have a list of the serial numbers which I have recorded. You can all witness that I have the correct numbers," he said, and began calling them out as we checked the bills he had given us.

"Before you put it away," Agent Perkins said, "I'd like to dust it. I have powder that won't be noticed, but glows under UV light." He spread the bills on the desk and sprinkled a powder over them and then returned the bills to us.

"It's 4:20," Mr. Aldridge said. "Time to go." We rode in his car to the police station.

When we walked in, the policeman on duty barely looked up and motioned us to the chief's office. As soon as we were inside, the chief said, "Close the door. Well, I see we have the four who attacked some innocent boys and resisted arrest last night. I have a string of charges against you four."

"Now, Chief, I don't think we want all those charges against such young people. Perhaps we can compromise a bit. How about reducing the charges to one count of disturbing the peace and seeing if Judge Harrison won't impose a fine."

"Don't know about that. The city gets the fine and I get nothing for having my officers risk their lives. Hear there was a knife involved."

"Don't know where that came from, Chief," Mr. Aldridge said as he set his briefcase down on a table beside the door. It had a clear view of the chief and his desk. We all sorta stepped aside to make sure we weren't blocking the view. "Hated to ask you to come down Saturday afternoon to discuss this, taking up your valuable time."

"My time is valuable and I'll have to spend more rewriting tickets. It's not worth my while just to do you a favor, Lem. Now if there were some money to appear here"--he tapped his desk--"then it might be worth my while."

I was amazed at how brazen the chief was. He had all but asked for a bribe!

Mr. Aldridge turned to us and held up a finger and mouthed, one hundred. The four of us each took a hundred dollar bill from our wallets and laid it on the desk, making sure we kept clear of the camera's view. "You must think my time's not worth much," the Chief said and held up two fingers. We each added another hundred on the stack. When we had done that, the chief swept the money into his pocket. "You know, I think I have lost the tickets my boys wrote last night and will have to write new ones. You were charged with a misdemeanor, disturbing the peace, right?" We nodded and the chief pulled out a ticket book and wrote four tickets, handing us the originals.

When he finished, he said, "Lem, I think Judge Harrison happens to be in this afternoon. Why don't we go to his chambers and see if we can get this all straightened out today so these young people can go home and not come back to Waterside. I don't think the atmosphere here is healthy for their kind."

Mr. Aldridge picked up his briefcase and we walked across the street to the town hall. When the Chief opened the door, we walked into the judge's chambers. Sitting behind a huge desk was a grossly obese man. Little pig eyes, almost hidden by the bags and wrinkles, looked at us from his puffy face. His red bulbous nose was a clear indication that the water glass on his desk didn't hold iced tea.

"Judge, these four guys got into a little fracas at the theater last night and got themselves charged with disturbing the peace. They came by today to get it straightened out; here's the tickets."

The judge seemed to rouse himself enough to glance at the tickets. "Disturbing the peace, huh? We like our town the way it is and don't like outsiders creating a disturbance. A few days in jail will teach you all a lesson."

"Judge, these young men are college students and time in jail would be a hardship. How about a fine?" Mr. Aldridge asked.

"Don't know about that, Lem. I mean they disturbed the town's peace and mine as well. I had planned to spend the afternoon sitting by my pool just relaxing peaceful-like but, no, I had to come down here. My peace was disturbed. My time for relaxing and being peaceful is valuable."

"Just how valuable, Judge?" Lem asked. I noticed he had set his briefcase down on the edge of the judge's desk--getting a perfect shot, I was sure, of what was going on."

"How valuable was your time, Chief?" the judge asked, looking at the chief and smiling.

"Well, Judge, there are four of them and I think my time was worth about $200 each," and laughed.

"Seems reasonable," the judge said. "A fifty dollar fine each and two hundred for my time."

"And the fine will show up in the court record?" Lem asked. "Where's the court recorder?"

The judge pulled a book from his desk, wrote in it and signed it. "There. That's taken care of."

"You signed the recorder's name?"

"Sure. Do it all the time. Saves her a trip on Saturday. Young men, I don't want to see your faces in my court or my town again. Understand?"

The four of us all said, "Yes, sir."

"Well. Judge, maybe you can get in a few hours relaxation," Mr. Aldridge said. "Guys, let's go."

We left the town hall and went back to Mr. Aldridge's office, where the two agents were waiting. "Lem, you couldn't have staged that better. We got every word on tape. Let's check the video," Agent Haines said.

Lem opened his briefcase and took out the camera, then the tape. He popped the tape in a VCR and, unlike most hidden camera tapes I had seen, the picture and sound were perfect. Mr. Aldridge and the two agents were ecstatic as they watched. "Good job, guys, Agent Perkins said. "Let's get the wires off you and we'll follow you out of town to make sure you're not followed or anything. We really appreciate what you have done. You should be proud of yourselves."

"Thanks," we all said.

"I'm worried about that elderly couple, the Metcalfs," Matt said. "After what we've seen, I don't think any of those running the town will like having their gravy train derailed."

"I must say, your concern makes me think even more of you," Agent Haines said, "but not to worry. We have two agents assigned to their home until we are sure they are safe. Lem, I think we should move now."

"I don't. Why not wait until tomorrow afternoon? You have to get warrants for arrests and we want to make sure we get all of them at once, otherwise some will slip through the net. If you wait until everyone's relaxing Sunday afternoon, you'll have time to get the warrants, get extra agents in and strike at the same time. You'll need agents to be watching the whole rotten bunch so, when the signal comes, you get them all."

"He's right, Sharon," Agent Perkins said.

"I see your point, Lem. I guess I just wanted the whole rotten mess over as quickly as possible. Again, guys, we really appreciate your cooperation and, by the way, don't worry about your record. The charge will be erased as soon as we get the operation over. Al, let's get these young people home."

"Before we leave," Larry said, "we need to call Paula and Kent and let them know we're ok."

"Sure," Mr. Aldridge said. While Larry was phoning, we talked with the two agents about why we were in Ohio and what started our involvement in Waterside.

"We just have to get hate crime laws on the books," Agent Haines said. "Until we do, people and groups are going to be fair game for bigots."

Agent Perkins nodded in agreement and added, "Just because we root out the official bigots in Waterside, we won't get rid of the prejudice and hatred sowed here. I hope you realize that and that Lem has warned you to steer clear of this place even after the arrests are made."

"He has warned us," I said, "but I guess I thought that would change with the arrests."

"Nope. It won't change until the good people of the town decide it has to change. Stay away is my advice."

"By the way," Lem said, "these four have a pretty stiff investment in the rotten police and judge here, although they got by with less than I expected. Don't know why."

"Could be you aren't trusted as much as you might think," Agent Perkins said, "but, guys, you'll get your money back in time--except, I guess, Lem's fee."

Mr. Aldridge laughed, "I guess I owe them that for the job they did," as he took bills from his pocket and gave them to us. "I and Waterside owe you a lot more than that," he said. "Well, time to go. I'll lead you out of town just to make sure you're not followed."

When we got home, Paula and Kent ran out to meet us, hugging us as if we had been gone for a month. "We were so worried about you," Paula said. "Kent says the guys who attacked you are real trouble and, with the police behind them, well, I was worried."

"I must admit I was worried too," Kent said, "but nothing like Mother Paula." Kent laughed and hugged Paula. "I thought I was going to have to hold her down a time or two to keep her from driving in and cleaning up Waterside single-handed."

Paula laughed and said, "If I don't look after all you wild guys, who will?"

When we sat down to supper, we went over the entire afternoon with Paula and Kent. "I guess we'll find out the outcome on tomorrow night's news. Sure hope they get the entire bunch and get them good," Eugene said. "And I also hope we get our money back. It's not going to be cheap getting my car back in shape."

"Won't your insurance take care of that?" Kent asked.

"I guess it will, except for the $500 deductible. But I sure saw a lot going out the window today and I just hope we do get it back--although I guess it is worth what it cost to get the town cleaned up."

"Yea, but it's not cleaned up," Matt said. "You heard what Lem and the agents said. They may get the town leaders who give a kind of official approval to bigotry and prejudice, but the townspeople have got to get rid of bigotry and that's not easy. You can't arrest someone for being a bigot. And what did we do to get into the mess? We held hands and exchanged a few kisses in a movie, for God's sake. Big crime! Paula, you and Kent could have been sitting exactly where we were and done everything except fuck like bunnies and no-one would have said a thing. Hell, I could have picked up a girl outside the theater, paid her to neck with me and no-one would have said anything." It was easy to see Matt was really enraged. "Here we were, Luke and I married--as married as society will let us be--and Eugene and Larry forty times as committed to each other as half the people living together in Waterside, and we sit in the back row of a movie and make out, pretty calm and discrete--at least we damn well thought it was discrete--and what happens? Couple weeks later, Eugene has his car vandalized and the four of us--well five, because Kent was right in there with us--are attacked by six asshole bullies--one with a darn frigging knife."

I reached out and took Matt's hand and said, "Babe, it's a damn rotten shame, but that's the way it is. You've got to learn to let it slide off your back if you can't do anything about it. And we did do something about it. I think society's attitude is, generally, shitty and I hate our love being the butt of bigots' jokes and hatred but, today, because of our love and because we are willing to stand up and be counted, a town stands on the threshold of becoming a better place. Maybe, just maybe, our putting ourselves on the line will encourage others to be like the Metcalfs and make their town a decent place for all kinds of people. But hearts have to change, not just laws and leaders."

"Yea, but good laws can change hearts," Eugene said. "Look at what has been accomplished by civil rights laws. Now we need to have those laws to cover us."

"Kent, if you haven't figured it out, Matt can't cuss worth a damn, but his heart is in the right place and he's his father's son in a lot of ways--in good ways," Paula laughed.

"Yea," Larry added, "and you may as well know, this bunch has fought prejudice since we have been together and it looks like it's a part of us."

"I kinda got that idea," Kent laughed. "Well, so much for a peaceful Saturday. I think we all need to relax after being so uptight for twenty-four hours. How about a movie?" Kent started laughing, but stopped short when all four of us got up from the table and put him on the floor. We wrestled around for a bit and then helped each other up.

"Glad you children broke it up before Mother Paula had to take control," Paula laughed. "But, guys, I think you need to call home now that you have something to tell your parents. Kent, in case your name gets brought up in the news, you might better call as well."

We all went into the family room and put on some relaxing music and then, one at a time, called home. After I had talked to Mom and Dad, I got Michael and Mary Kathryn on the speaker-phone and Matt and I both talked with them. Seems they had their hands full getting things going at school and Michael was still having problems with Christopher.

When we finished talking with parents, we sat listening to music and talking about nothing in particular until 10.00, and then we went off to bed.

Matt and I undressed each other, taking our time so we could get in a lot of kisses. When we were undressed, I lifted Matt and put him on the bed. As I held him, I could feel the tenseness in his body. "Matt, Sarang Hanun Pomul, you are wound up tight, Babe."

"Luke, I was scared all afternoon when I realized just how big a thing we were involved in and what that police chief or judge might do--could do--and, well, I am still so angry. Yonghon Tongmu, people may say that words don't hurt, but 'faggot', 'queer'--even those words make our love sound cheap or dirty. They brand our love as wrong. But, Luke, how can love be cheap or wrong? And even if they think so, what business is it of theirs? What are they afraid of that they have to put us down?"

"Babe, you know the answers or the lack of answers as well as I do. I wish it were different but it's not, and it's the only world we have to live in. I guess we'll just have to try and make it a better world. But, right now, I'm going to do something about you, Dark Angel." I got up, threw on a robe, grabbed the massage oil and headed downstairs and nuked it. When I got back, Matt was lying on his back staring at the ceiling. This latest adventure had really upset him, a lot more than it had me and a lot more than I would have thought it would Matt. I got a beach towel to cover a place on the bed and lifted my Dark Angel and placed him on it. I massaged his back and shoulders for several long minutes before I could feel his muscles gradually relaxing. When I turned him over, I kissed him softly and started massaging his neck and chest, his shoulders and arms. He was still very tense but, gradually, I could feel his muscles relax.

By the time I finished, my hands and fingers were very tired, but Matt was so relaxed he had fallen asleep. I lay beside him, kissed his forehead gently and rested on an elbow looking at my sleeping Dark Angel. His body glistened with the oil, his black hair was a cloud on his pillow and his handsome face was relaxed and at peace. As long as I had known Matt, I could recall very few times he had been as upset as he had been that night. I really didn't understand it. I was pissed at what had happened. I was angry at the bigotry we had encountered--again--but it ran deeper than that with Matt. Maybe later I would understand it, but right now I was just tired and wanted to snuggle up to my beloved Matt. I turned out the light and lay close to Matt's oiled body, drinking in the fragrance I loved so well, the fragrance of my Dark Angel, the reason I had for living. In the warmth of his body and of his love, I fell asleep and, unlike the night before, I slept peacefully.

Chapter Six

Matt

I couldn't understand why I was as tense and angry as I was over the incident at Waterside. I knew that my love for Luke and his for me was seen as wrong, even wicked, by some, but it was more than that. I think the fact that our being gay was seen as reason by some to abuse us, not only verbally but also physically, was just more than I could take. From the time we were arrested until Luke and I went to bed, I was holding in a lot of stuff--anger, rage and fear. I had been holding it so long my body reacted. As I slipped into bed with Luke, I tried to relax, but couldn't. Instead, I was so tense I started trembling and, needless to say, Luke sensed it at once and did something about it.

He left the room without an explanation and when he brought the bottle of warm massage oil into the room I knew he had realized how tense I was. As he started massaging my body, I could feel his strong, gentle hands and fingers moving over muscles tight with tension and anger. As he continued to massage my back, I could feel myself and my muscles gradually relaxing. He turned me over gently and started massaging my neck and chest. I expected to have the session end with me massaging Luke and then us making mad, passionate love. Instead, as I relaxed, I drifted off to sleep. One minute I was conscious of Luke's presence and his fingers on my body, and the next I was in dreamland.

Luke's massage worked wonders, because my sleep was peaceful. I was, again, conscious of Luke's comforting presence, even in my sleep, and it made me feel safe and secure.

For some reason, I woke up as the clouds over the lake were just being colored by the fingers of dawn. The dawning light cast a rosy glow through the widows and on our bed. I rose up on an elbow and looked at Luke lying beside me. His hair was very long but still curled tightly, so it was just a crown of light gold covering his head. In spite of his time at Sarasota and outdoors here, his skin was still very fair, not ghostly pale but fair, radiating life. His blue, blue eyes were closed and his long eyelashes resting on his cheeks were blond like his hair. When the sun or room light would catch them, they were enough to make you catch your breath they were so striking.

The sheet covered Luke's body but, as I watched, he stretched out a leg, pulling the sheet to his waist--revealing his hard, sculptured, smooth chest which rose and fell in a slow rhythm. I couldn't resist, so I leaned over him and kissed a nipple. As I did, Luke opened his eyes, smiled and said, "Good morning, Dark Angel. Sleep well?"

"Sure did, thanks to you, Bright Angel."

"How about we take a piss then play around a little?"

Having taken care of the urgent business, we got rid of dragon mouth and Luke then took me into his arms and brought his lips to mine for a sensational Luke kiss. His tongue invaded my mouth, bringing with it a mint-flavored taste of Luke. Our kiss became more and more passionate and, without breaking it, Luke lifted me off my feet and took me back to our bed. As he lay me down, his body covered mine. He half-raised himself, looked into my eyes and smiled, "Babe, I am so glad you are happy this morning. I was worried about you last night."

His words brought back some of my feeling of anger and hurt. "Luke, I just can't get over the hatred some people have for us simply because we love each other." My romantic mood was gone in an instant. "How could the love we share be wicked or wrong? How could anyone think it is anything but pure love for each other?"

"Matt," Luke said, and I could see the pain in his eyes, "people who don't understand us are ok. There are a lot of things about some people I don't understand, but don't condemn. But people who hate us or would hurt us because we love, are beyond me. What business is it of theirs? What are they afraid of?"

Luke and I talked quietly for half an hour I guess, solving nothing, but it gave me time to get over my rage. Luke was holding me as I felt the last of my anger drain away, at least for the time being. But I had certainly done a good job of killing a romantic moment. Luke finally said, "Babe, I think it might help for us to run for a while. Then, maybe, we can start where we left off?" He gave me a wicked Luke smile and I melted.

"Ok, sounds reasonable, I guess." The sun was just above the horizon as we hit the beach. We ran, flat out, for a couple miles. On the way back, we ran a bit slower and finally slowed to a brisk walk, slow enough so we could hold hands. Occasionally, Luke pulled me to himself for a quick kiss, so our walking became slower and slower as we approached our place.

When we reached the house, I started toward the outdoor shower but Luke pulled me back, pressed his lips to mine and, as he broke the kiss, said, "No, I want the good clean smell of a sweaty Matt in bed with me". When we walked inside, no-one was in evidence downstairs. From the hall upstairs, we could hear both showers as Luke, again, swept me into his arms, walked into our room, kicked the door closed and put me on the bed.

This time there was no holding back, no ruining the moment as I pulled Luke onto the bed and covered his body with mine. My hair, which I had left free for the run, cascaded over us, shutting out the world which would deny our love or call it wrong. Our kisses became more and more passionate until I was breathing through Luke's mouth, drawing into myself the very breath of my love.

Minutes later, I was united with Luke, bound not only physically, but also by his great love for me. Long before I wanted, I gave Luke my final offering which he knew carried with it my love as well.

I lay atop Luke, my face cradled in the curve of his neck as he whispered of his love to me. I needed nothing at that moment to make my world perfect, full, because Luke held me and told me of his love.

We lay together for a short while, and then I kissed Luke and said, "Yonghon Tongmu, I would love to stay here all day, feeling your body against mine, awash with the fragrance of our bodies and of our love making, but I think we are expected downstairs."

"Hey, you're off kitchen duty, so what's the rush?"

"Remember there's a second thing on a teenager's mind? Well, one had been satisfied--at least for the moment--and now my body craves food."

"Hate to admit it, but so does mine. But not before a shower."

We took our time washing each others body, pausing for kisses, but finally had to get out of the shower--the water was getting cold! We dried each other, dressed in clean shorts and T-shirts and went downstairs.

Kent and Larry were in the kitchen when we walked in. "Grab a cup of coffee," Larry said, "I think breakfast will be ready in a few minutes." As we sat down with our coffee, Paula walked in. She had brushed her hair, but was still dressed in her pajamas and a short robe.

"Hi, Guys. Sleep well?" she asked, looking at Matt.

"Finally," I answered, "after a Luke special massage. I was really wound up last night. This morning it doesn't seem as important, but last night I was really angry and enraged that anyone thought Luke and my love or Larry's and Eugene's was wrong and even worse, that they thought our love gave them permission to attack us--even Kent who's straight--and damage Eugene's car."

"I felt the same way," Paula said. "What if someone felt my loving Jacob and his loving me was wrong? It doesn't make sense."

"Seems to me there are those who think your and Jacob's love is wrong," Luke said.

"Yea," Paula said, pensively. "I guess I just forgot."

"Damn, I just thought of something," Larry said. "You don't suppose any of us will be identified on any newscast coming out of the arrests today do you? I mean I guess naming names would be ok, but what if they identify us as being gay? Not only could that make trouble for us, but think what it will do to you, Kent."

"Don't worry about me so far as people knowing I live with four gay guys. I can handle that. What I worry about is some of those idiots from Waterside finding out where we live and making trouble for us. Especially since the house is empty all day."

"I was worried about your dad's reaction," Larry said, "and hadn't thought about anyone coming out here to make trouble."

"Dad will have to find out sooner or later and I don't know what difference it will make. But think about those ass holes who painted Eugene's car. There have to be more of them in town and with no-one here all day...."

"We definitely need to give some thought to that," Larry said. "One of you call Agent Haines and ask her what we should do. She gave me her card with a local number written on it. Call now, maybe she's not busy yet."

Eugene picked up the card Larry put on the table and made the call. While he was talking, Kent and Larry put breakfast on the kitchen table. Eugene hung up the phone, Kent said grace, and we waited.

"Not hungry?" Eugene asked, helping his plate.

"Sure we're hungry," Larry said, "but we want to know what Agent Haines suggested."

"She said she didn't think we would be identified in any news cast, but word might get around anyway. She even knew where we lived and all about our buying the place. Seems the whole town has talked about it. She also said when the trial comes up, we'd likely be called as witnesses and she supposed everything would come out then. As soon as tonight's raid is over, she and Agent Perkins are assigning agents to protect a number of people, 'like you and the Metcalfs', she said. Sooner or later they will be withdrawn, but in the meantime, we can look into some kind of protective service. I guess that means we really do have to start locking the doors, which we haven't done," Eugene concluded. "I guess we were thinking we were still in Concord."

Luke, Eugene, Larry and I got dressed and took the Jeep to church. Eugene's car really was a mess. Kent had gotten some of the paint off, but it was still a mess. Kent took the truck. We had gotten an early start and arrived at St. Anne's twenty minutes before Mass. We decided to walk around the church yard a bit, just taking in the beauty of a small memorial garden and other features. We went into the church about ten minutes before time for the service.

As we walked in, Fr. Manville, vestments flying, came running down the center aisle. He stopped in front of us and said, "I know this is very sudden and I can understand if you don't wish to do it, but Matt--you are Matt?" he paused, looking a bit lost.

"Yes, I'm Matt," I answered.

"Matt, our organist was just taken to the hospital. She tripped coming out of her house and it appears she may have broken an arm. Could you possibly play for the Eucharist? Hate to put you on the spot, but I can't think of anything else to do except not have music."

"Father, I'm not at all prepared...."

"He'll do it," Luke said. "Matt, 'Sheep' and 'Jesu'. You know you can do it."

"I'll try," I said, not at all sure of myself, "but I can't promise much."

"Thanks, Matt. If you will come with me, I'll mark a bulletin for you. I suspect you're used to playing more service music than we use."

I followed the priest to the sacristy where he marked a bulletin for me while a member of the Altar Guild found a cassock and the organist's surplice. By the time I had vested and reached the organ, it was almost time to start. I looked over the organ's registration and prayed I'd not do too poor a job of selecting stops. I thought to myself, "Well, here goes nothing," and launched into "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." I had said I could play it in my sleep and hoped I was not wrong because I didn't have the music.

As I had noted the Sunday before, the organ was an old one, but had a beautiful sound. It was small, so the number of stops were limited but I found them adequate. I was actually quite pleased with the sound and my playing of the prelude. I saw a note about registration for hymns and service music on the organ and pulled the stops, thinking the organist knew the best registration. As I started the opening hymn, I remembered the one fault I had found the previous Sunday: the organ's sound during hymns had been muddy and thick. As I ended the first verse, I looked over the stops, closed one and opened another. The sound was much brighter and definitely more suited to playing hymns.

The service music was sparse compared to St. Mary's and sounded ok, but just ok, and a couple changes in registration helped, making it better. During the second hymn, I made a couple more changes in the registration. After one change, I knew it was wrong and quickly closed the stop I had opened. The next one was an improvement. I suddenly realized the congregation must be wondering what was going on and decided not to change anything more until I had a chance to test it.

I realized the offertory was coming up and it was to be without the choir. I decided it was a good time to play around with the stops. I picked a hymn I knew well, but which was not widely known in congregations, and started with a single stop, adding stops one at a time. Sometimes I made a good choice, other times a poor one, but by the end of the offertory, I had what I thought was a good registration for hymns. After I made my communion, I returned to the organ bench and noticed the choir was to sing communion hymns. Good, I could hear how my registration sounded and if it supported singing which, after all, is the purpose of the organ during hymns. The choir seemed to come alive and the singing was great.

I had, of course, expected to play "Sheep May Safely Graze" as a postlude, but the sermon was a really good version of "Get off your ass, on your feet and do what you are here to do". Fr. Manville quoted a poem by Dag Hammarskjold:

               Tired And lonely,
               So tired The heart aches.
               Meltwater trickles Down the rocks,
               The fingers are numb,
               The knees tremble.
               It is now,
               Now, that you must not give in.

               On the path of the others
               Are resting places,
               Places in the sun
               Where they can meet.
               But this Is your path
               And it is now,
               Now, that you must not fail.

               Weep If you can, Weep,
               But do not complain.
               The way has chosen you--
               And you must be thankful.

Dad frequently quoted the poem, but I guess I had just liked the sound of the words and had never heard their meaning. Maybe it was the context in which I heard them--in the sermon, I mean--but, suddenly, the words were alive to me. Suddenly the "When will it end? Why me?" questions had been answered. I didn't exactly like the answer. These were not "comfortable words". They did not promise if I was a good little boy I'd get pie in the sky by and by, but they were words calling for strength and courage, for steadfastness in being and becoming who I was created to be. A call? I guess you could say that, but I didn't like the word. Chosen for service, that made sense out of what I had experienced in my short eighteen years and held the promise of a meaning-filled life IF I accepted being chosen.

As I thought about the postlude, "Sheep" just didn't seem to fit. Then I noticed the last hymn. It was also a favorite of Dad's and fit the sermon perfectly, "Come Labor On".

The recessional ended and Fr. Manville spoke the dismissal in a booming voice, "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord," with a definite emphasis on "serve". I had changed the registration and let the organ rip as I improvised on the hymn tune for "Come Labor On". The organ was small, but gutsy, and it was really shining. I was having an absolute blast. As I played, I thought, "Damn right, come labor on. Who dares stand idle? That's what yesterday was about: laboring to bring love and justice to a world where others had sought to sow hatred and injustice. That's why Luke, Larry, Eugene and I are caught up in a battle. It is not just about us, it is about us and all others who are objects of hate. YES! Come labor on!"

Luke, Larry and Eugene came back to the sacristy and all had huge grins but I noticed what I thought were moist eyes. "Matt, did you think the sermon was directed at us, preached for us?" Luke asked.

"You too?" was all I could say. All three nodded.

As I was hanging the vestments, Fr Manville came to the sacristy and asked, "Join me at coffee hour?" We all nodded and followed the priest to the parish hall.

"Matt, I'll hear no more excuses out of you about being unprepared. Never in my ten years at St. Anne's has the organ sounded better. And how you came up with that postlude I don't understand. I have never heard it before. Where did you find the music? It was such a perfect ending."

"Father, there was no music. After your sermon, I knew what I was planning to play just wasn't right and the hymn was so perfect, I just improvised on the hymn tune."

"Amazing. By the way, the sexton left a note in my vesting room and the organist did break her arm--a very serious break which will require surgery to repair. She will not be able to play again for months. Would you consider the organist's position, at least until she can play again? I don't know anyone else who could do it and certainly no-one as capable as you."

"I don't know, Father. I have just started to school, I have to spend all day Tuesday and Thursday in Cleveland at Holtkamp and I have responsibilities to my housemates. I don't think I could ask them to take on some of my responsibilities. I assume there's a mid-week choir practice I would have to attend and that would add a third night I am away."

"I can understand. I would like to do something about the choir practice, but it took years to get the choir to practice and I'm afraid that if it stopped it would take years to get it going again."

"I'll have to give it a lot of thought and take it up with my housemates. Also, there's another consideration. Fr. McCall of St. William's asked if I would consider doing a month's stint there while they search for an organist. I'd hate to pass that up."

"I can understand that as well but, until you are asked by St. William's, would you consider St. Anne's?"

"I'll do this much: I'll take it up with my housemates."

"That's all I am asking. I still find unbelievable what you did with the postlude on the spur of the moment. By the way, Pastor Jensen says you are involved in cleaning up Waterside. We have been friends for years and he has really been concerned about his town. Fortunately we haven't had to deal with that kind of bigotry here, at least not yet. Any support I can offer you, just call on me."

"Thanks. Then I guess you know why we got involved."

"Peter, Pastor Jensen, just said you got caught by a bunch of Waterside's toughs, beat the crap out of them and got arrested."

"That's what happened all right," Luke said.

"I mean it, if I can help, give me a call. And give the organist's job some thought, Matt. Well, I've got to run and check on a broken arm. Thanks again, Matt."

"Glad to do it, Father."

When we got home, Paula and Kent were sitting in the kitchen having a glass of juice. As Larry walked in, Kent said, "Larry, I hope you don't mind, but I went ahead and started Sunday dinner."

"Thanks, I'll never get upset with you starting a meal," Larry laughed. "How did things go this morning?"

"Interesting. When I walked in church, I expected to have to find another pew but, when I looked where my family sat, I saw that Dad was on the inside. Mom and Derrick had made sure there was room on the aisle. I thought about ignoring it but decided, if they had made the effort, I would be a fool not to let them know I appreciated it. Mom and Derrick spoke but Dad looked away. When it came time for the Peace, I wondered what he would do. He worked hard not to acknowledge my existence, but finally had to take my hand and say, 'The peace of the Lord be with you'. I said, 'And also with you, Dad,' and he looked away quickly. He had a hard time ignoring me after church, but managed not to speak. By the way, I planned to invite all of them to dinner next Sunday, but I had forgotten that someone else would be fixing the meal."

"That's ok," Luke said. "I'll be back on meals then."

"Why were you guys so late getting back?" Paula asked.

"Seems Matt may have another job," Eugene said. I then told Kent and Paula what had happened.

"What are you going to do?" Paula asked.

"I really don't know," I said. "I am already late getting home Tuesday and Thursday. If I take the job as organist, I'll be home early enough Wednesday, but will have to drive in to St. Anne's, do choir practice and drive back. That's another night out late. I'm finding it hard to deal with Wednesday and Friday class preparation now. Of course, I can prepare for Thursday classes before I go to choir practice. So far I have not been able to get out of the Saturday morning class. I don't know. It seems I just have so little time to get my share of the house work done."

"Well it won't be forever," Larry said. "I think so long as we're happy with what you're doing, it's ok."

"I've got no problem with it. In fact, I think you should," Kent said. "After all, it connects with what you plan to do with your life."

"Luke, Eugene, Paula, what do you think?"

"If it gets to be a problem, I think we'll feel free to say so. Why not try it?" Paula said.

"Agreed," Eugene said, nodding.

"Well, so far as the house is concerned, I would have to agree, but then there's another part of the question that you and I need to talk about privately," Luke said. I pretty well knew what the issue was.

We all sat around the table after we had finished dinner, talking about how things were going in school. All of us agreed that it was not exactly what we expected. There was more work than high school and we were on our own more. No teacher asked for homework, for example. They just assumed we were doing it because it was for our benefit, not theirs. All of us had some kind of math class and all, except Kent, agreed that subject took more time than other things. "Well, except we are expected to work on our music as hard, but it doesn't seem as much like work as math," Paula observed. "I was also surprised how each class started without beating about the bush the way high school classes did. There was no reading the syllabus and that sort of hand-holding thing." We all nodded at that.

"Before we get busy cleaning up, we need to look at next week," Eugene said. "I don't know how long it will take to get my car fixed, so we only have two vehicles. We may get kinda cramped at times." We looked at transportation for the coming week and saw that we could manage.

"Now that I have some idea how school is going to be," Kent said, "I need to make some serious plans for working. I have as much work as I can handle with school this time of year, but it won't be long until there will be no work. I mean as soon as winter starts, I'll be done until spring, so I need to make as much money now as I can. That may complicate the transportation if it takes too long to get your car fixed, Eugene. Where did you plan to take it?"

"I thought to a dealer."

"I know a guy who does excellent work. He was a couple years ahead of me in school and was accomplished before he graduated. He had worked in his dad's shop practically from the time he could walk. If you like I'll give him a call and see if he can put a rush on your car. As a matter of fact, if you took it to the dealer is town, it would probably end up at his place anyway."

"Sounds good to me. If he could get it done quickly it would sure help us out."

That settled, we cleaned up the table and kitchen and, when we finished, Luke said, "If no-one needs my truck, I think Matt and I will go for a drive".

"Go ahead," Eugene said. "We can use the Jeep if we need anything."

Luke

I wanted to get away from the house and have time to talk with Matt. When we were at the house it seemed we were with the whole crew or in bed most of the time. "Matt, let's go for a ride."

We got in the truck and Matt put a CD in the player. The windows were down and I was enjoying the end-of-summer weather as we drove into the countryside. Neither of us said anything as we just rode and listened to music. After driving a while, I saw the entrance to a state park I had spotted on a map and turned in. I found a parking place and we got out. On a covered bulletin board was a map of the park with hiking trails marked. "How about a hike?" I asked Matt.

"Sounds good to me," he said. I reached out for his hand and, before I could take it, he pulled it away and said, "I think we better not here in this open and public area." Of course he was right, but it didn't go down too well.

As soon as we were well on the wooded trail, Matt reached out and took my hand. "I didn't want another incident, Luke. I'm afraid Ohio is no more accepting of us than Concord. Actually, it's much less accepting from what I have seen."

"Doesn't make me like it," I replied. "But I guess I'd like having to face a bunch like that Waterside crew even less. Matt..." I started to ask a question, but found it wasn't easy. I couldn't understand it, but I was hesitant about talking with Matt about something that had been bugging me. What if he disagreed? What if he thought I was nuts or just a bitching, jealous boyfriend? Well, it had to be said. "Matt, something's really bugging me and I know it will get worse rather than better, and I'd like to have it in the open."

"What's wrong, Luke?"

"It's about us. We have been in school only one month and I feel like something is separating us. Not only that, but I just feel... I don't know, kinda, well, blue or something."

"What do you mean?"

"I guess it's childish," I continued. "Well I know it is but, well, Matt, I see you in bed and, other than that, we're never alone. Don't get me wrong, I love being in bed with you but I want more. I want time for us to be together, to talk, just to be together and it's not happening. I feel like I never have time alone with you any more. I feel left out and cut off, even depressed." As soon as I said 'depressed', I saw Matt's response. To cut him off, I said, "That's the reason I wanted us to go for a ride, but we can't drive off every time we want to be alone and we can't spend all our together time in bed."

"Luke, that's one reason I hesitated about taking the organist's job. If I take it, I'll be out of the house late three nights a week. And, to tell truth, that cuts down on our time in bed together. I mean, we're in bed, but the two nights after I have spent the day at Holtkamp, you are asleep long before I get to bed. If I take the organist's job, that will be another night I'll get home late. But what's this about your being depressed?"

I ignored Matt's question and said, "But you'd like to take the job, wouldn't you? I mean really."

"Yea, I would. But if it's going to come between us, then I won't. Our relationship means a great deal more to me than a job, you know that. And while it would pay something, no job could pay enough if it creates problems for us."

"Matt, I feel jealous of anything that comes between us or might come between us but, at the same time, feel rotten when I even suggest you not do something you want to do--especially since it's related to your future and our future. I'm very undecided and torn."

"I feel the same way. I mean I think that we can manage to balance school, a job and us. We're going to have to do that from now on, I think. Even when school's over--and right now that seems as if it will never happen--we'll still have to balance careers and our life together. You know, it would be hell, but maybe it would have been easier if we were separated the way Paula and Jacob are... I can't believe I said that..."

"I can't believe it either, but I can see what you mean. But the very thought sends chills down my spine."

"Mine too. So what do I do, Luke? Tell me what you want me to do."

"Matt, I think that's a slippery slope. I can't tell you what to do. Once we start that, we're going to be trying to figure out what the other wants us to do all the time and lose who we are, trying to be who the other wants us to be. I can tell you, that would make both of us into monsters. What we have to do is to make sure we have time together to talk--and listen--to each other. We don't want to make the other over into someone who is mindless, doing only what we say or what we think he wants."

"But I don't want to drive a wedge between us, Luke. Never."

"If you do, it's because we refuse to be honest with each other and refuse to find the time to talk things out." We had been walking, slowly, deeper into the woods, following a trail which was clearly well-used, but which grew fainter the further we walked. It was obvious people walked only a certain distance and then turned back. We had now reached the point where few people had walked. "Ready to turn back?" I asked.

"Not yet. I think I hear a stream up ahead." As we walked we were silent, each busy with his own thoughts, and as we went deeper into the forest the sounds of a stream became clearer. Perhaps a hundred yards ahead of where I asked about turning back, the trail ended at a small, but rushing stream, its waters plunging over the edge of a steep cliff to the river far below.

There was a mossy bank that reminded me of the special place Matt and I had below the falls at home. We sat down, still silent, then Matt said, "Luke, I guess you thought I didn't hear you, but I did. You said you were depressed."

"Well, I didn't mean that. Let's forget it."

"We will not forget it. Have you been taking your medicine?"

"Kinda."

"What do you mean, 'kinda'?"

"Well, since I have been here, I have felt good most of the time and it does make me sleepy sometimes..."

"Luke, you are trying to tell me you're not taking it without lying. You're not going to get away with that."

"Matt, I feel like I should be able to handle things without a pill to help out. I guess I'm just weak or something."

"Luke, Margaret and Dr. Walker both told you it's not lack of will or anything else except a chemical imbalance. If you were diabetic, you'd not think taking insulin was because you lacked will. Luke, you are going to take your medicine or else. I'm not sure what 'else' is, but I will not have you run the risk of doing something foolish because you aren't doing everything you can for yourself. Promise me you'll get back on it today."

"I'll think some more about it."

"No, Luke, you won't think some more about it. You either promise me you'll get back on the antidepressants today or you'll sleep alone. I will not allow you to destroy our relationship because you are stubborn. I'll end it right now."

"I told you I'd think about it."

"You hadn't been taking it when you had the nightmare, had you."

"Well, no, not for a couple of weeks I guess."

"That does it, Luke. I will put up with a lot, and I know that we will have our difficulties brought about by our carelessness, the pressures of school and so on, but this? No way. Promise me Luke."

"Didn't I just hear us talking about not trying to make the other over into what we wanted? Isn't that what you are doing? Why do I have to answer to you concerning my own body?" I was angry and Matt knew it.

"Because we have made a commitment to each other. We have spoken vows in front of our family and friends, and those vows included something about our bodies as I recall, and because I have seen what your stubbornness can do. I'm not trying to make you over, Luke, I'm trying to have you be yourself, happy with yourself, free from nightmares--and there have been dark thoughts again, right?"

I didn't answer. I sat with my head down, trying to make sense out of what I had done. It didn't make sense but I still felt like having to take medicine, when I was healthy as a horse, was a sign of weakness, of failure

"I'm waiting for an answer, Luke." Matt was clearly pissed off. His voice was hard and icy. I don't ever remember Matt sounding so cold talking to me.

I felt hot tears running down my face and I still could not look up. I could not look at Matt.

"Luke, I am still waiting," Matt's tone seemed even colder.

Finally I looked up and saw Matt's face. It was not hard and angry but hurt, full of pain. I reached out to him and he pulled away. "No, Luke, that's not going to work. I love you more than my own life and I long, always, to feel your arms around me. But I will give all that up if that's what it takes to get you where you need to be."

I looked at Matt and saw the hurt and pain I had caused him but, more than that, I also saw his determination. The tears were running down his face as well. Finally I could stand it no longer. "I promise, Matt. I promise."

This time when I reached out, he didn't pull away but enfolded me in his arms. "Luke, I feel like shit. I feel I have bribed you into doing what I want you to do and it doesn't feel good. But I don't regret it, Babe, not at all. I will not allow you to risk your life and the reason I have for living."

"Matt, I feel worse for bringing you to the point of having to force me to do what I know I should be doing. I am sure not wanting to take the medicine I know I need is a part of the condition. And after all, Babe, you only did what I made you promise to do. Remember? I made you promise to do something if I got off the track, whether I wanted to or not. Remember?"

Matt had buried his face in the crook of my neck and I could feel him nodding. We held each other for a long time and, in that embrace, pledged our love anew.

As we walked back to the truck, we talked some more about Matt taking the organist's job at St. Anne's and decided he would, and that we would give serious attention to making time to be together. Having reached that decision, Matt said, "You know, Luke, our bedroom, as all the bedrooms, is really huge. We have used it just as a bedroom and tossed clothes all over the place, but there is no reason we cannot make it into a bed-sitting room were we can be together without being in bed. That would be an improvement in our time together both in and out of bed."

"Sounds good, but when are we going to find time to pick out furniture and all that stuff?"

"We'll make time, Luke. We'll have to."

On the way home, Luke and I talked about ways we could make time for ourselves, and how the house schedule could be rearranged to make it easier on all of us. "You know, we agreed to have a house meeting weekly," Matt said, "and we haven't been doing that. I think we need to do so. We need to see how things stand now that we are settled into a weekly routine." I couldn't have agreed more.

When we reached the house, Kent and Larry were busy getting supper ready. Since we'd had a big Sunday dinner, supper would be pretty simple and plain. When we walked in, Kent said, "Supper is in twenty minutes. We wanted to have it over before the news at 6:00."

During supper, Matt and I talked about the things we had discussed concerning the house, and I reminded everyone we needed a house meeting because we hadn't really had one since school started.

"How about after the news?" Eugene suggested. "There may well be something there that we need to discuss."

We all agreed and quickly cleared the table and got the things in the dishwasher. When we finished it was almost exactly 6:00. It turned out there really wasn't a great deal on the news. The anchor man said there had been massive arrests in Waterside as a result of FBI and OBI investigations which had been ongoing for several months. "Among those arrested were the chief of police, the mayor and a judge." Then the usual, "More news and video at 11:00".

"So much for that," Larry said. "These days you only get teasers about the news which will be later, and later you get teasers about news coming up later and it seems you never get the news. Guess we can have a house meeting, get some studying done and then see the news at 11:00--if it has anything."

The first thing we discussed was the schedule. For example, when we had made it up, we had teams cooking, rotating on a weekly basis. "With four of us spending all day in Cleveland Tuesday and Thursday, getting dinner is a pain. At the same time, it hardly seems right for Eugene and Paula to have Tuesday and Thursday every week," I said.

"Why not?" Eugene asked. "We could do it those two days, two of you could take Monday and Wednesday and two Friday and Saturday. Then we could rotate Sundays. Makes as much sense as rotating on a weekly basis."

"Any problem with that?" I asked.

"None I can see," Paula said, and everyone nodded agreement. "Of course, you know that you are not likely to have your best meals on Tuesday and Thursday since you have two non-cooks working together, but I think I've picked up enough that, with a decent cookbook and some help meal-planning, we can handle it. While we're at it, I have a problem I want to bring up."

"Shoot," Larry said.

"It has to do with laundry. I know we said we'd all do our own but we are washing small loads, using a lot of hot water and there are times we run out. It's not so bad unless we need to wash dishes and take showers after someone has done laundry..."

"It's worse when someone decides to do laundry when someone's in the shower," Kent said.

"Yea, I have been given the cold shower treatment several times," I said. "And, even worse, the hot shower treatment."

"That's something else we can rotate. We need to get a couple or three laundry hampers and everyone use them, separating your own things. Then someone can do all the laundry, When it comes out of the dryer, put in on the table in the laundry room and each can pick up and fold their own," Paula said.

"Sounds good," Matt said. "I'll take care of the laundry Saturday morning. I can put in a load and practice for almost an hour until it is done, put it in the dryer and reload the washer. That way I can get some house work and my Saturday class done at the same time. I finally got permission to practice at home, so I can do that. The Saturdays when my teacher comes here--she finally decided that was ok too, don't know what took her so long--I can start a load before she arrives and take it out when she leaves. That won't be a problem."

"Matt, would you mind making Friday night linen change night and you doing all the linen Saturday?" Paula asked. "It a big job, but if you could do that, we would be free to do other household duties."

"Sure. Anything else anyone wants to bring up?"

"Hate to be this way," Eugene said, "but Larry and I were used to having the same as an apartment when we were home, and we sure miss having time and space to get together. It's not that I don't like you guys, but we really do need time for just the two of us. Of course we have our bedroom, but it's a bedroom and..."

"And you don't want to spend all your time together in the bed." Matt smiled. "Never thought I'd say that, but Luke and I talked about the same thing this afternoon. We thought about getting furniture and making our bedroom into a bed-sitting room."

"Seems kinda foolish since we have a library and a family room," Kent said.

"But they are for all of us," Larry said. "And, of course, Matt has to have the family room to practice and the library is used as a study hall."

"Actually, the library is used to send and receive e-mail and that's about it so far as necessary work is concerned. If the computers were moved to the family room, then the library could be a place for you two couples to be together--I mean together separately--I mean..." Kent stammered to a stop.

We were all laughing at Kent. "Know what you mean, Kent," I said. "Sounds like a good idea. You have a desk in your room and do your studying there. Paula, we could get a desk for you so you could study in your room, but the nights I have to study late, I'd keep Luke awake and the same is true of Eugene..."

"Not really. You have to study late Tuesday and Thursday because you have been busy all day. I have finished my studying before you pick us up at Case," Eugene said. "If you think about it, by the time you are ready to study, Larry and I have gone upstairs and you could use the library or family room."

"Aren't we making this too complicated? I like the idea of adding a few things to the bedroom--maybe a TV--the cable is already installed--and a CD player, couch, desks and things like that for use during the week. Friday and Saturday nights we could reserve the library or family room if we wanted to stay home. I really think the major problem is one we have created ourselves. We think we have to be together or we are hurting someone's feelings. Isn't that the real problem?" Larry said.

"Damn!" I said, "You are exactly right. Sure, we can just say, 'Matt and I would like the family room or library tonight,' and that should settle it. See, I knew we needed to talk."

"Well, there's something else I want to bring up--no, that's the wrong word--there's something I need to bring up, I hate to bring up. Kent, this will be news to you, I'm sure, but Luke..."

"No, Paula, I haven't been taking my medicine. How did you know?"

"Luke, when you start having nightmares and moping around, we all see it. So what excuse are you going to give Mama Paula?"

"None, I guess. I tried them all on Matt this afternoon. None of them worked. So, Mama Paula, I promise I will take my pill."

"I hate to be nosy and if it's none of my business say so, but what are we talking about?" Kent asked.

"Kent, I have been diagnosed with a mild form of clinical depression. It's caused by..."

"A chemical imbalance, I know. Mom has suffered from a pretty severe form and, until one of the newer drugs came on the market, she would have really bad bouts of depression. One time it was so bad she wouldn't get out of bed. Now, with the new drug, she's a different person, a real person. So, Luke, take the pill. I don't want you to have nightmares like the one you had."

"I promise, otherwise Matt has threatened to leave me."

"Anything else?" Matt asked.

"One more thing about the laundry," Paula said. "The detergent I bought last time works in warm or cold water. The most you want to use is warm for wash. I set the machine, but noticed it was changed last time I washed. Just leave it set on warm for wash and cold for the rest. Saves hot water."

"How are we doing so far as spending money is concerned?" Larry asked.

"Paula?" Matt asked

"Fine, I think," Paula said. "The first full month's bill just came and it was a whopper--I'll collect as soon as I get it ready--because we bought a lot of stuff to start housekeeping which we'll not have to buy very often. I think we're ok. Of course, having to pay off the police chief and judge took a hunk, but we might get that back. At least we got back Aldridge's fee and that helped."

We had finished clearing the air and Larry said, "Well, we have three hours before the news. Think I'll catch up on my e-mail." Eugene and Paula joined Larry doing e-mail, Kent said he had some studying to do. Matt went to the family room to practice and I went to the studio. I was working on a series of paintings for the house. I worked a couple hours and when I got back, caught up on my e-mail. Matt had done his earlier and was studying at a desk in the library.

The news at 11:00 did carry a great deal more about what had happened in Waterside. The video showed the arrest of the police chief, judge and mayor. We all burst out laughing when we saw Judge Harrison arrested. The agents walked into his pool area where the judge was sprawled out in a lounge chair, a drink in hand. He was dressed in shorts and, as Eugene said, he looked like a beached whale. "You're insulting whales, Lover," Larry said when he could get control of his laughter.

The reporter said there had been other arrests including several policemen. We really enjoyed seeing Sim Hendrick, his hands behind his back, held by a plastic tie like the ones he had used on us. He was arrested when he pulled his police cruiser into the police station. The reporter said, "There were also civilians arrested as well as officials. A number of convenience store owners were arrested for selling alcohol to minors. Officer Hendrick's brother, Shawn, and several of his friends were arrested for selling marijuana. 'They are small fish,' an arresting officer said, 'but we are out for all size fish in an effort to clean up Waterside.' There were so many arrests that several people had to be transported to the Cleveland jail as the Waterside jail quickly overflowed. The mayor, police chief and Judge Harrison all asked to be transferred to Cleveland, but Ohio Bureau of Investigation Agent Perkins refused, saying they had been responsible for the condition of the jail and it was only right that they take advantage of their work. This reporter was allowed to enter the jail and can only say that it was filthy. I asked Agent Perkins if putting the prisoners there was not cruel and unusual punishment. He replied that he thought not--since the police chief, mayor and judge had found it acceptable for people they had put there."

The four of us who had spent time in the filthy jail were practically rolling on the floor laughing. "Poetic justice, if I have ever heard of it," Luke said through his laugher.

After a commercial break, the reporter had an interview with Agents Perkins and Haines. Of special interest to us was their statement that they knew there were still others who were a part of the corruption in Waterside or who sympathized with those responsible for it. "A number of citizens have been invaluable in our investigation," Agent Haines said. "Anyone who attempts to do them harm is a fool, but there are many fools in the world. We are not giving out any details, but everyone who helped and those who would do them harm both need to know that those who helped are under the protection of both the Federal and Ohio bureaus. So to those who would harm those good citizens, I say think before you act or you will regret it."

That certainly made us feel more at ease. Watching the arrests had, frankly, been fun, but the very fact that we had to be protected sobered us quickly.

Matt

After the news, we all went off to bed. As Luke and I snuggled in bed, he whispered in my ear, "Sarang Hanun Pomul, thanks for not giving up on me. I know I was foolish for stopping my medicine, but I wanted to be a whole man for you and every time I thought about taking a pill, I didn't because I thought I wasn't."

"Yonghon Tongmu, in my eyes you are not only a whole man, but a perfect one." I kissed Luke gently and he returned my kiss, placed his head on my chest and was asleep in seconds. I lay, my arm over Luke's back, looking into the dark, thinking about how those who think a relationship just sails along without thought and effort are fools and deserve the broken relationship which is sure to follow. Thankfully, Luke and I worked on ours before it had eroded too much. I offered thanks for that and for all the other things I had been given by life. Then, at peace, I dropped off to sleep.

Chapter 7

Matt

Monday, following the arrests in Waterside, dawned just another Monday and another new week. Kent had called and made arrangements to get Eugene's car repaired and Eugene drove it in before his first class. Luke, Paula and I followed him and picked him and Larry up for school. Kent, of course, had Luke's truck. It was obvious that until Eugene's car was ready, some squeezing into the Jeep or truck would be taking place. At lunch, we met at our usual table -- it hadn't taken long for us to establish a regular place. As soon as everyone was seated, Luke asked, "Matt, have you called Fr. Manville?"

"Glad you reminded me, I forgot. I will as soon as I finish eating."

"Matt and I talked some more about space and decided we would definitely get some furniture for the room. I think we'll get desks as well even though Matt won't be using his when he has to work after I'm in bed. I saw an unfinished furniture place nearby and would like to check it out after class if that's ok," Luke told the group.

"Sounds fine. Think we might all get desks," Larry said.

"See you after class," I said and went off to phone Fr. Manville. He seemed very pleased that I had decided to take the organist's position. He did apologize about the pay since it was only $200 per month. I assured him that was ok. He asked if I could come by before Tuesday noon to talk about details. "Father, that will be pretty hard, but I'll try. I'll give you a call."

When I met the others after class, I told them what Fr. Manville had asked. "Well, we could take you by and wait if it won't take too long," Luke said.

"I'll call Father again," I replied. When I called, he said that he thought we could get all we needed to do done in half an hour or so. The others saw no reason they couldn't wait for me.

The meeting didn't take long. Father gave me the hymns for the following Sunday and said he'd give me the freedom to make the selections from now on. I was to get them to the office by Tuesday so the bulletin could be done Wednesday.

We still had plenty of time to check on desks at the unfinished furniture place. We ordered five since Kent already had his. The store agreed to deliver them since we ordered five. We even had time to run by an office supply store and picked out desk chairs. They didn't want to deliver, but when it was clear we wouldn't purchase them otherwise, the salesman said he'd get them to us if he had to bring them himself.

The desks and chairs were all delivered after the stores closed at 8:00, arriving about 9:00. We had great fun the next couple days finishing the desks and they were in place and ready for use quickly. The five of us at Oberlin were riding together since Eugene's car was still being restored after the spray painting. Luke had the last class of the day and didn't get out of class until 3:00 so we had to wait an hour on him. We got home by about 3:30 and I looked at my assignments for Friday. I had some work to do and spent an hour on it so I wouldn't have too much to do Thursday after I got back from Holtkamp. I put my work away and went downstairs to help prepare dinner. The dinner conversation was set on a path when Kent said, "Thank God, we're over hump day. Don't think I'd make it if I had three more days this week. I've a major test every day so far and have two more to go."

"'Bout the same for me," Paula said. "I never thought college would be this rough. I don't think the professors ever talk to each other or they might spread out tests."

"I don't have all that many tests since Holtkamp doesn't give tests and my studio class really has no written ones, but with Holtkamp and my classes, I have plenty to do and now I have to rush off to a choir practice -- without a choir director I might add. At least at St. Mary's there was an older choir director. Here there's just a snot-nosed organist. It can be a real pain," I said.

"You need to take Mother Paula with you. That would get a choir straightened out," Eugene laughed.

"Hey, that might not be such a bad idea," I said. "In fact, it's a good idea if I can get Fr. Manville to round up some money. Interested Paula?"

"I might be, but how do you think St. Anne's would handle a Jewish choir director?"

"I don't know. If they don't like it, maybe they need a new organist," I said and meant it.

"Well, run along now. We'll see about my being choir director later," Paula said in her Mother Paula voice.

"Luke, how much work do you have to do tonight?" I asked.

"Got to review for a test tomorrow. Why?

"Why don't you come with me? You can study at St. Anne's and we can have some time together going and coming."

"Don't go there, Eugene!" Larry laughed.

"I wasn't about to go anywhere," Eugene said in a hurt kid's voice.

"Sure you weren't," Kent said. "Sure you weren't."

"Matt, think you have a good idea there. Let's hit the road as soon as I get what I need." Luke ran upstairs, grabbed his book bag and raced back downstairs. "I'm ready. See you guys later."

Luke and I talked about nothing in particular on the way to St. Anne's, just things two guys in love talk about, but it sure was nice to be sitting beside him and have his hand on my thigh.

Choir practice went ok, not extremely well, but ok. I am not much of a choir director and often forgot I was directing as well as playing. I would definitely speak to Fr. Manville about hiring Paula. After choir practice, Luke joined me on the organ bench as I played through the prelude and postlude. I had done some practicing at home, but needed to get the registration right for St. Anne's organ. One way I was making one piece of work serve two purposes was to use some of the pieces I was given for my performance course as prelude and postlude, but I did have to run through them at St. Anne's because the organ there did not have the variety of stops my Rodgers does.

When I had finished the two pieces and set the registration, I said, "I'm through for the night," and smiled at Luke.

"You've been a good boy and here's your reward," Luke said as he put his hands behind my head and pulled my lips to his for a very special Luke kiss. I had assumed everyone was gone, but before we broke our kiss, someone cleared his throat. We both jumped and as I looked out into the dimly lit church, saw Fr. Manville. When Luke saw him he whispered, "Holy shit. Now I've done it."

"Yea, you sure did and I loved it. Other than that, it's nobody's damn business," I said to Luke, then raised my voice and called to Fr. Manville, "I guess there's something you need to know. Luke and I are married."

Fr. Manville walked down the aisle slowly and when he reached the chancel where the organ was located said, "Well, I hope you are at least engaged if you are going to carry on like that in church." He had a small smile on his face, but I wasn't sure what it meant. "But what do you mean you are married? I thought you both were men."

"Don't think there is any question about that," I said. "And of course we're not legally married, but we had a commitment ceremony and our union was blessed by Fr. Tom, our parish priest in Concord. And if having a gay organist is going to be a problem, then I'll quit."

"Well, it might well be a problem if you end every postlude with the way you ended that one, but otherwise, there better not be a problem. But I'm interested in your marriage. Got a minute? If so, I'd like to hear about it."

"We better not stay too long. Luke has a big test tomorrow and Thursday is one of my long days so I need to get to bed before too late. Luke?"

"Sure, we can stay a short time."

"Good, come on to my office. I'll get something for us to drink. You two just go on to the office and make yourselves comfortable."

When Fr. Manville came back with juice, we gave him a short history of our relationship and why we had a commitment ceremony.

"And Fr. Tom blessed your union?"

"He had said he could not and then surprised us by doing it anyway. So, you see," Luke said, "we are as married as we can be."

"Fr. Tom is a brave man," Fr. Manville said. "I'm not sure I have that kind of guts, but I haven't had to make that decision -- yet."

"Speaking of having guts, I'm not sure I have guts enough to keep the choir under control. Same problem I had at St. Mary's. Older people sometimes resent being told what to do by a teenager. St. Mary's had an older man who was choir director. But the main problem is I am not a choir director and often forget that I am supposed to be and just play. We have a house mate who is an excellent choral director and I think she might be open to being hired here. If you'd like to think about that, you need to know two things. First, she is damn fantastic and second, she is Jewish."

"Would a Jew direct a choir in a Christian church?" Fr. Manville asked.

"I think she would since it would give her practical experience."

"I don't know that I could round up the money this late in the year, but I'll give it a try. Think she might give us a sample of her work next week?"

"I'll ask."

On the way home, Luke and I talked about all the things we were taking on and how little time we had already. We agreed we needed to keep that on our agenda and not let it get away from us.

About half way home, Luke turned into a dirt road which, we had discovered earlier, led to a high bluff overlooking the lake. When we reached the end of the road, the moon was bright on the lake. Everything looked very peaceful as Luke stopped the truck, turned and drew me to himself. The CD player was playing old love songs softly as his lips covered mine, his tongue invaded my mouth and my being was flooded with the taste of Luke. I swear, every time that happens, I am amazed at how wonderful it is.

We were, on this Wednesday night, just two teenagers in love, parked in what became our lovers' lane, doing what teenagers do in lovers' lanes -- what that uptight high school health teacher of ours called heavy petting. As we were really getting into it, THE song started. More came through the speakers and it had a strange effect on us. Instead of getting more passionate, our love making became slow and easy, gentle. Finally, we were simply holding each other, looking into each others eyes, smiling, giving each other butterfly kisses. We were two happy, happy men. Suddenly, out of the blue, Luke said, "Matt, doesn't all the hatred against us, the abuse we have suffered last weekend seem far, far away? Anyway, we have each other and our love and it seems that is all that really matters." I kissed Luke in answer.

The next couple weeks found each of us in a definite routine. I was really learning a great deal at Holtkamp and school and enjoyed it. Recently I had been learning about metals use in building pipes for organs. I must say, I had always looked upon organ pipes as oversized penny whistles, but when I was expected to learn about metals and metal pipe building, I changed my mind quickly. Luke and I had several conversations about metals. He was surprised that metallurgy was a part of organ building -- but so was I.

The house settled into a routine as well. We did have weekly house meetings and ironed out small problems before they became large ones. The excitement of the arrest in Waterside was over shortly. All those arrested had been allowed out on bond -- some huge -- and the trials were not to start until late October or early November. Luke had started his medicine again and the nightmares ended. Things were getting a bit dull, to tell the truth.

Kent

Each Sunday I sat with my family in church and each Sunday Dad ignored me. I had invited them to Sunday dinner at the house several times, but Mom kept saying it wasn't time yet. I had been seeing Pastor Jensen on a weekly basis and knew I was making progress in dealing with the hurt and pain I had felt from being rejected by my father over the years. Last Sunday, the last one in September, Dad was sitting next to the aisle when I came in, he moved to make a place for me. At the Peace, he grasped my hand and said, "Son, the Peace of the Lord be always with you." I couldn't answer for the tears. I just grasped Dad around the neck and wept.

After the service, Dad and I walked out of the church, arm in arm. Pastor Jensen had a huge smile on his face as he greeted us. "This is the most beautiful sight I have seen in ages," he said, as he clasped both our hands and continued shaking them.

"It wouldn't have happened without your help," Dad said.

"But it happened and that's what's important," I said.

"That's what's important," Mom and Pastor Jensen both said.

As we walked away from the church, I said, "Would like to invite you all to dinner, but without some notice...."

"Maybe we can go out together," Dad said.

"Good idea, but I'm afraid I can't," I answered. "I'm on dinner today and we have invited all our advisors for Sunday dinner. If I don't show up, I may not be able to eat -- ever again! But next Sunday is the Lord's Supper. I think it would be great if we ate at the Holy Table and then ate together at our table. Can I plan on that?"

"You sure can," Derrick said. "I've seen how you and that bunch eat and I'll starve to be ready for it!"

"Sounds good," Mom said, "but I think we need a little family celebration before. How about supper one night this week?"

"Wednesday ok? I get back from Case earlier Wednesday than I do any other day."

"Can you make supper by 8:00?" Mom asked.

"I'll get there by 6:00 so we can have some time to talk. See you then. I've got to rush and finish dinner." I hugged all three of them, jumped into Luke's truck and left, a very happy young man.

We had invited all our advisors for Sunday dinner, the five from Oberlin and mine from Case Western Reserve. All the Oberlin advisors accepted, but mine said he had to have Sunday dinner with his family and he made it a point not to socialize with students. Frankly, I was just as happy as he was not a very pleasant person to be around. If I had to have him all four years, I think I might transfer schools, but freshmen advisors are just assigned at random. Next year I would have someone from my department.

Since this was a very special dinner, Matt, Luke and I all worked on it. Larry, Paula and Eugene had done special house cleaning. Actually, I was surprised how well the house was kept. We all were very careful about messing up the common areas. Of course, each bedroom told a different story, but even those were kept in pretty good shape, especially so now that we all did some studying in our rooms. The two couples have also bought furniture to make their bedrooms a combination bed-sitting room and spent time there.

When I got home, dinner was almost ready, all that had to be done were the finishing touches, which took hardly any time at all. Paula found enough fall flowers to place fresh flowers throughout the common areas. The lawns and gardens were all in good shape. I was rather proud of how well everything looked and I knew the dinner was outstanding.

Paula

Professor Ruth Roth-Batten was the first to arrive. As she walked in the door she said, "I can't believe my eyes! I thought you might have gotten the front passable, but the house and grounds look as good as it ever has. You have done yourselves proud."

"We are absolutely loving the place. And all the work we have put into it has made it very much ours," I said. "Why don't I give you the grand tour before the others arrive?"

"If I know men, they will not want their rooms seen and usually I think that is a good idea!"

"Oh, they would be disappointed if you didn't see what they have done, Professor. And they do manage to keep their rooms in pretty good shape."

"Paula, we're not at the college, Ruth, please."

"Sure, Ruth, but come on, we’ll invade the bullpen upstairs."

Of course the guys had done a bit of extra cleaning I suspect, but the truth of the matter was since the boys had made their rooms sitting rooms as well as bedrooms, they had kept them nice -- or so they told me. I am seldom upstairs. Ruth was very impressed with how, as she said, very livable the rooms were.

When we entered Matt and Luke's room, Professor Roth-Batten immediately noticed the painting of Matt Luke had hung opposite their bed. "That is certainly a striking painting which I remember seeing in the exhibition. I understand it was slashed about the time we were arriving at the airport in Jackson so I'm surprised to see it here."

"It almost wasn't. Uncle Michael Sanders had it repaired, but Matt didn't think it was appropriate to have it here, but Luke insisted. I'm glad he did, but wish it could be hung downstairs because I think it is a great painting. I haven't given up on getting it moved."

When we got downstairs, the other advisors had arrived. Eugene and Larry were serving drinks in the library while Matt, Kent and Luke put the finishing touches to dinner.

Table conversation started with what we had done to the place. All the advisors had been here at one time or another for cookouts on the beach and most had been in the house. They were amazed at all we had gotten done. After dinner, Matt offered to take everyone on the grand tour of the house and grounds. While they were going through the house, Ruth and I sat in the library and talked. She asked about Kent and I told her his story and the fact that it appeared his dad had come around. Then said, "I certainly hope so. I really hate it when parents don't get along with children and Kent is really a wonderful guy."

"Do I detect more than a casual interest there?" Ruth smiled.

"No, no more than for the other guys. Actually, not as much. I have known the others for years, but Kent only a month. Of course, you get to know someone very quickly living in the house with them. No, I'm interested in Kent only as a friend," I said as everyone started outside. "Well, shall we join the group for the grounds tour?"

The grounds really did look nice. Of course, fall was very much in the air and leaves were turning and all the flowering plants had done their due and were now preparing for winter, except for some Michaelmas daisies and fall asters.

When we went to the garden and orchard area Ruth exclaimed, "I would never have thought you would have this area looking so good. In fact, I'm surprised you even attempted it."

"You know farm boys," Luke laughed, "we have to have dirt to dig in and this is excellent dirt. The orchard is really Kent's handiwork. Oh, we helped, but it was Kent who told us what to do and how to do it."

On the way back to the house we looked at Luke's studio and Eugene's practice room. Again, everyone was impressed with the rooms and some of Luke's work there.

When we got back to the house, we all sat in the living room and discussed what we thought about college, what we liked and what we found difficult. I was surprised when Eugene said he wondered what it would be like to live on campus and be a part of the college community. The other guys agreed with him. I hadn't thought about that, but when it was mentioned, it started me thinking.

"I'm sure you would find it very different from living in this magnificent place, Professor Moler said, "but I'm not sure it would add a great deal to your life. Most of the things you might do if you lived on campus are available to you."

"Exactly so," Professor Taylor said. "Eugene, I have intended to talk to you for sometime and always forget, but there are two or three guys interested in forming a small band to play club dates. If you were on campus, it would be easier since you wouldn't have to travel as far, but that's certainly open to you. I'll give you the name of the guy who's trying to get a group together and maybe you can contact him if you're interested. And Paula, I think they could use a vocalist.

"I really don't know. I've never tried singing with a group. Might be interesting," I said.

"Actually, we talk about things which go on on campus and how we feel isolated at times, but I guess we have to make some effort to become a part of campus life. The big problem is we are all so busy there's hardly time for anything beyond what we are doing," Matt said.

After the advisors had gone, we all sat around and talked about becoming involved in more campus activities. "The band sounds good," Eugene said. "Paula, you definitely have to get connected with that and you too Luke."

"Me?? ME?? I paint, I don't sing."

"Oh, yes you do. I've heard you in the shower and all around the house and even before we came here, I had heard you sing, " Eugene said. "Your voice is untrained, but it's good and would fit a small combo perfectly. Don't you think so, Paula?"

"I certainly do. Luke, you'd be perfect and you'd have all the women after you."

"And at least one out of every ten men as well," Larry laughed.

"Kent, play anything?"

"Played drums with a garage band for a couple years. Still practice -- or did before I moved -- some. If you need a drummer, I’ll try."

"Two vocalists, trumpet and drums -- I wonder what the group has already? I'll call this guy tonight and see about getting together tomorrow."

Eugene

After we had sat around and talked for awhile, we all pitched in and cleaned up the kitchen and everyone went their own way: Luke to his studio, Matt to practice. Kent said he was going to his place and to get his drums. Larry was working on a video project telling the story of our place, so he was filming again and Paula went to the library to write some e-mail. I called Richard Taylor, the person wanting to start a small combo.

Richard sounded pretty excited. He had rounded up a bass player who could play either a bass guitar or a double bass, a keyboard player and guitarist. He also played guitar. "With you on trumpet we'd be ok if we had a drummer."

"Think I might have one and a couple vocalists as well," I said and told him about the three. "When would you like to get together and see what we can come up with?"

"Don't know when I can schedule a space for us to work. I'll let you know as soon as I can find one."

"Not very big for a group, but we have a practice studio here. You're welcome to use it. But it is kinda small. It was supposed to be nine by twelve, but Luke, one of my house mates, made a change and it's almost twelve feet square. Small, but usable. And if we can convince Luke to be a male vocalist, we can expand into his studio since he won't be working when we are practicing."

"Then how about our getting together tomorrow? The guys here -- and one of the guys is a girl who plays bass -- are all free after two in the afternoon."

"I don't get free until three and I have to pick up my car which has been being refinished. It would be four before I could get here."

"That's fine. We'll meet you at your place at four. How do we get there?"

The directions to the house are very straight forward and I had him read them back to me after he had written them down.

When Kent got back, I told him about the arrangements and they were fine with him. His last class Monday was at two so he'd be back in plenty of time to get together at four. We took his drums to the practice studio and got them set up. I left when he started practicing! Fortunately, Luke had stopped working because even with the soundproofing, Kent's drums could be heard.

Luke

The week following the dinner with the advisors was a busy one. Monday the group forming a band met at our place. It took them awhile before what they were playing even sounded like music, but I guess it started coming together. Paula tried singing a couple songs, but between the band not being together and her forgetting words, it was not too successful. Eugene, Paul and Kent were all trying to get me to sing, but I knew that I couldn't when the band kept going all over the place. Finally Eugene said, "Luke, will you try to sing More?" You can close your eyes and pretend you are singing to M.... your lover."

"Do you think you guys could come close to playing More? I doubt that most of you have even heard it, much less know it." I was right of course. However, after Eugene had, using his special one finger method, played it on the keyboard a couple, three times and Paula sung it, they picked up enough in the next fifteen minutes to come close.

"Ok, Luke, we had made the effort, now let's hear you."

"I can close my eyes so I don't have to see all of you barf?"

"Close those baby blues and hit it," Paula said.

"No laughing now," I said and they started playing. I did close my eyes and imagine I was singing to Matt and just forgot where I was and what I was doing. At the first chorus, Paula blended her voice with mine -- a miracle I thought -- and we finished the song.

"Luke, you are as good at singing as we are as a band," Richard said. "If you improve as much as we have to, we may make a go of it."

"Thanks, but I think you are just being nice."

"Richard, be nice?" Sheila, the bass player, laughed. "It has never happened in the whole nineteen years he has lived. You've got a great natural voice, Luke."

"Thanks, I guess." After about half an hour more practice, the Oberlin bunch left and Paula, Eugene, Kent and I talked for awhile about the possibility of the bunch ever becoming a combo anyone would want to hear.

When we got back the house, Matt was practicing and Larry was sitting in the family room as well, working on math. He had asked Matt to leave the speakers on so he could hear him play.

"How'd it go," Larry asked when we walked in.

"Pretty good. Very good considering this was the first time we had tried," Eugene said.

"Yea, and we have two fine vocalists," Kent added.

"I'm not so sure about that. Not sure at all," I said.

"You'll see shortly," Paula added.

Matt had stopped playing when we walked in and when Paula spoke, he said, "Paula, Fr. Manville called and said he had a woman who was willing to see that you got paid IF you wanted the job of choir director and IF you proved you could handle the job and IF you'd work for the same thing I am getting paid -- which is little, he added -- only two hundred a month. I told him you would come with me Wednesday night and try out. That was ok, wasn't it?"

"Sure, why not? It will be good experience."

So Wednesday night Paula went with Matt. That took that time together away. If this band thing goes and I sing, that probably means I will be gone Friday and Saturday nights, Matt is gone Wednesday nights and gets home late and has to study Tuesday and Thursday nights which means we would only have Sunday and Monday nights together. And I suspect there will have to be a couple practice nights for the combo. We are going to have to do some serious talking about this.

Matt

Wednesday evening, Paula was introduced by Fr. Manville and rehearsal started. Paula gave the choir a workout like they had never experienced and at the end when we ran through all of the music for Sunday, it was obvious that they were much improved. She thanked then for their efforts and told them she had enjoyed working with them. Fr. Manville was very impressed and told her she had the job if she wanted it. She accepted.

As we were driving home, Paula said, "Matt, I don't want to interfere, but it seems to me you and Luke are getting so involved you don't have time for each other. I hope you two have talked about that."

"We haven't since the band came up."

"And since I have taken the job at St. Anne's, that takes away another time you might have."

"Yea, I thought about that. But it's good that you are getting the experience and I am glad Luke is singing with the band."

"Matt, all we are doing is good. That's not the question. The question is the time you do and do not have with Luke."

"Yea, you're right and we're going to have to look at that. Soon."

When we got home, Paula told the group she had taken the job at St. Anne's. Eugene said he had thought she would and the band had set up practice for Tuesday and Thursday nights. "That's good, I said, "because I have to study those nights and Luke and I couldn't spend time together then anyway. Paula had reminded me that we were getting so busy we weren't spending time with our partners. Of course, when the band gets going and had gigs, they will be Friday and Saturday nights, I'm sure."

"Larry and I have nights free except the nights I practice, so I'm not really worried about us, but I do worry about you and Luke," Eugene said.

"We'll just have to work at it," Luke said. "And we will. If we are too involved, we'll just have to say no to some things."

"That might be hard," Eugene said, "but I agree." Little did we know just how busy we could be.

Tuesday and Thursday nights, I planned to study while Luke worked with the band. On the first Tuesday night I really wanted to go hear them, but also wanted to be with Luke when he finished. About 10:30, Paula came to the house to get Larry and me to hear the band. I must confess they sounded much better than I thought they would. The real surprise was that Luke was serving as MC as well as vocalist. After they had done a couple songs, Luke took the mike and said, "Now, by special request for a special someone," and the band started playing More. Luke did the first verse and Paula joined him on the chorus, then they finished the song together. They sang to each other as if they were a loving couple, but as Luke started the last chorus, he looked at me and winked and I blushed. I knew sooner or later the members of the band would know about us, but I wanted it to be later.

As we all walked back to the house, Luke wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled me to himself and kissed me. "Luke, there are strangers here."

"Not strangers to me and if they don't like me showing affection to the love of my life, they can go to hell -- or take a shorter trip and jump in the lake," he said as he kissed me again. "Well, what do you think? Was it terrible?"

"Actually, I think it is darn good considering the fact that this is your second practice. And, Babe, you really can sing."

"Nah, it's just that you like to hear those words coming from these beautiful lips."

"That certainly helps," I laughed.

For the first Tuesday in ages, Luke and I went to bed at the same time and we made the best of it. What started as slow and easy with soft, tender kisses soon became passionate, no holds barred love making. Luke was definitely in charge as he took control of Chili Pepper. But Luke didn't get left out as Little Luke also saw serious action. Our love making was as star spinning as it had been the first time we had not observed a stopping place. Aglow from our expressions of love and our lust satisfied, we wrapped ourselves in each others arms and legs and after a tender kiss, sailed into dreamland.

Wednesday sunrise saw all six of us running on the beach. Most days we didn't run together because of our schedules, but Wednesdays we did. Paula had not been a runner in high school, but really got into it and could keep up with us most of the way. All four of the guys were keeping in shape for their sports. Although some wouldn't start until next semester, we still had workouts and so on. We had to meet a certain number of hours because we were earning a PE grade.

At breakfast Eugene said he and Larry were going to campus to do some research and asked Paula if she would like to go with them. "We'll take you by choir practice and wait for you."

"That's not necessary," I said. "She can come back with me."

"I know it's not necessary," Eugene said, "but you and Luke have little enough time together and this way you two can have some time alone going and coming. Don't go there, Larry!"

"Thanks. It's not necessary, but I certainly do appreciate it," Luke said.

"You better enjoy this great fall weather," Kent said. "It won't be long before there's nothing romantic about being out of the house. By the way, I won't be here for supper. I'm having dinner with my family."

"Kent, I forgot tonight was the night. Do enjoy it. It is just great that your dad has come around."

"Well, if we hadn't had our fight, I might never had worked through all the bad feeling I had and he certainly wouldn't had done any work toward being a dad to me. You are right, it's great."

"Paula, how'd you like to catch something to eat on campus? That way we wouldn't have to come home until after choir practice and Eugene and I could get a lot more done," Larry asked.

"I've got plenty to do on campus as well," Paula said. "Matt, I guess it's just a romantic dinner for two tonight. Shame that your are going to be all by yourselves," she laughed.

"Yea, shame," Luke said and gave me an a wicked leer. "But I guess I can stand it."

The day seemed to absolutely drag. We had lunch with the crew. My afternoon class seemed impossibly dull and dragged on and on and on. Finally I was released and found Luke waiting for me in his truck.

Wednesday was a beautiful day, very warm for autumn, but by late afternoon, there was definitely a fallish feel in the air as we headed home where we'd be alone.

Chapter Eight

Kent

In spite of what had happened Sunday, I didn't know what to expect when I got to my parents' place. When I drove up in Luke's truck, Fuzzy, our old collie, started barking. When I got out of the truck, she came bounding up to me, leaping as high as she could, trying to lick my face--and would have had I not turned away. I finally grabbed her when she jumped and roughed up her coat as her tail wagged a mile a minute. Eventually she calmed down enough for us to walk toward the house. Mom, Dad and Derrick had obviously heard Fuzzy and had come out on the porch. "What a welcome home," Dad laughed.

"Yea, quite a welcome back." I didn't want to say I was coming back home although I guess home would always be where my parents were, but I also considered where I was living home. When I reached the porch, I hugged Mom, then Derrick, then Dad. We had never been a hugging family, but no-one seemed to object.

"Come on in and tell us what's going on in your world," Dad said. I found I was bracing for a put-down every time he opened his mouth. Old habits and expectations die hard, very hard.

When we reached the living room, the smells of good food were evident and I realized I was hungry. I hoped supper didn't have to wait until 8:00!

"Well, how are things?" Derrick asked. I hadn't seen him in a couple weeks. A couple times, since Labor Day, Derrick had called and I had picked him up at school for supper and a visit at the house.

"Going great. Actually, they are going better than I expected. The work is hard--different from high school--but I'm enjoying it and learning a lot." We talked about school and then Dad asked about living at the house. "Dad, it is really great. If I run into a problem with school work, one of my housemates is usually able to help me out. Of course, I do the same thing for them. We almost let a few small things become big problems but, fortunately, we saw what was happening and dealt with those problems and now we have a weekly meeting to discuss anything we need to attend to. It really is like a house full of brothers and a sister."

"Kent, James, who works in my office and lives in Waterside, says your friends were involved in some nasty business there. Is that true?" Dad asked.

"Here it comes," I thought to myself. I looked at Mom and it was clear she didn't have the foggiest idea what was going on. "Now's the time," I decided. "Yea, it's true. As a matter of fact, I was involved as deeply as they were, except I was let off because I was a local boy." I then told my family what had happened without saying anything about why it had happened. Of course, without having some reason for the attack, it just didn't sound right and I knew it. Dad was not going to let that slip by unnoticed.

"Strange that you were attacked and arrested out of the blue. There must have been more to it than that," Dad said. "Why did you get picked on?"

I debated with myself. Dad had finally acknowledged he had not treated me right and now I was about to blast him out of the water. Did I want to dodge the issue or hit it head on? "Dad, a bunch of Waterside's worst took exception to something the four guys I live with had done and, because of that, vandalized Eugene's car. We saw them doing it when we came out of the movie and when they attacked us, we just defended ourselves. There were six of them. One pulled a knife but three ran after we had put them down, and we soon had the other three on the ground. One of them was Shawn Hendrick. His brother Sim came up, sent Shawn and me packing--because I was a local boy, he had said--and arrested the other four."

"Somehow or other, that doesn't surprise me," Derrick said. "Everybody knows Sim covers for Shawn, and that he and Shawn are good sources of weed."

"Weed? Why would anyone want to buy weeds?" Dad asked, looking puzzled.

Derrick laughed. "Guess you are not up on horticulture, Dad, weed is a very lucrative cash crop--if you can keep it until harvest time."

"Weeds, who harvests weeds?" Derrick and I were both laughing our heads off and Dad was looking puzzled and, I could see, getting angry. "This better stop right now," I thought but, before I could speak, Mom spoke up.

"Carl, you know: not 'weeds', 'weed'--pot, grass, gunga, marijuana, dope," she was laughing hard as it suddenly dawned on Dad what we were talking about.

"Oh, so now it's weed. That stuff has more names than the Queen of England. So they were in the dope business. Well, that doesn't surprise me, but I still don't see why they attacked you and your friends."

"Dad, I hoped not to have to bring this up because I know you won't like it and will probably pitch a fit..."

"Try me!" he said, in a defiant manner.

"A few weeks before the incident, Matt and Luke, Eugene and Larry had gone to an early Friday movie. The theater was practically empty so they sat on the back row and did some making out. They had no reason to think anyone saw them or would care, but they were wrong."

"They were making out in a movie? Who doesn't do that? I've even done a bit of that with your Mom in years past."

"Might be a good idea to try it again," Derrick grinned.

"So what was the problem? Who were they making out with? Was it some of the Waterside girls? Was that the problem?"

"Dad, you're not listening," Derrick said. "Luke and Matt were making out and Eugene and Larry were making out," Derrick said very slowly as if Dad was dense. Well he was being a little dense, I guess because he didn't want to hear what he was hearing.

"I heard that very clearly and I asked who they were making out with?"

I started to answer when Derrick said, "I told you: with each other."

"You mean to tell me four men were making out with each other?" Dad was getting red in the face and I knew an explosion could happen any minute.

"Well, not exactly all four making out with all four, I mean Matt and Luke are a couple and Eugene and Larry are."

"Damn queers, you mean!" Dad was holding his temper, but just barely.

"Dad, I don't like that word and I certainly will not have it applied to my friends. The four are gay and are couples. Matt and Luke have actually had a kind of marriage ceremony and had their union blessed by a priest. Eugene and Larry are every bit as committed as Matt and Luke, I suspect. And what they do in their bedroom is none of my business. All I know and care about is that they are steadfast friends. I would trust them with my life. In fact, if my life were in danger, I would sure want Eugene around. He is the smallest of the four but, man, is he fast and deadly."

"You are living in the house with four queers? Four fruits?" Dad was still holding his temper, but I didn't know how much longer he could or would.

"Dad, I said I didn't like my friends being called names and I won't stand for it in my presence. Now you can either stop and I'll stay. Otherwise I'll go, but I will not listen to them be called names or put down."

"All right, all right, but I really can't understand how you can live in a house full of gay men. It's unnatural!"

"Let's talk about unnatural, Dad. You sired me and are responsible--at least half-responsible--for me coming into the world. I wasn't what you ordered and you couldn't send me back, so you just pretended I wasn't here most of the time--and any time you noticed, you made sure I knew I was a disappointment to you. If you want to talk about unnatural, let's talk about a father's unnatural treatment of a son.

"I put up with it because I didn't have a choice. I proved myself to everyone except you. I was accepted to college on a scholarship and still you would have nothing to do with me. Frankly, I planned to go to college, but suspected it wouldn't last long because I couldn't afford to live on campus and had no sure transportation. I tried not to worry about it, but I did.

"Knowing that my college career was probably a short-lived thing, I ran across five people--five people who befriended me at once. Four of them are gay, but they gave me what you had never given me. They gave me true friendship. They cared about me and my needs. They respected what I had to offer to the group. I have a home where I am treated as an equal and a valuable addition. I have the assurance that if I want to go to college, they will see that I get there.

"Now the fact that four of them are gay may have disturbed me at first. I'll admit that when Matt and Luke or Eugene and Larry kissed each other or showed affection in my presence, I was uneasy. But you know something? It wasn't long before I not only expected that, but appreciated it. I saw very quickly that the expression of love--I don't care if it is male-to-male--was something I missed, something I had longed for. So, to be honest, I don't give a damn whether you understand it or not, or whether you like it or not; being in the loving presence of those five has given me more joy and more peace than I have known in my lifetime. Unnatural? I think that home is full of naturalness--the naturalness of people in love and who love and care for each other and for me."

When I finished, Derrick stood, applauded and shouted, "Bravo!". Dad looked a bit like I had hit him in the face and Mom looked as if she was expecting an explosion. There was utter silence in the room after Derrick's outburst.

After what seemed like minutes, Dad looked at me and said, "Kent, I'm sorry. I guess I really deserved that. Yes, you're right. They have offered you more in a short time than I have in a lifetime. Son, I am working hard at changing. It's not easy, but I'm working at it."

"Dad, that's all I ask. I know change is hard. I know that we both have nineteen years of acting one way to change. But you have to know that I value the friendship and love and caring I have found with my five housemates--right up with any relationships I have or have had. You tread on them and you tread on me."

"Son, I wouldn't have it otherwise. So back to what started this unpleasantness... how do things stand now with the four and Waterside? What happened after they were arrested?"

I told them the whole story and that the four would probably be called to testify when the trials came up in late October or early November. "I think the police and the political mess in Waterside will be cleaned out, but the prejudice and hatred will still be there until decent people stand up and take charge. Meanwhile, none of us will even drive through Waterside. The only time I am even close is Sunday morning when I come to church."

"Good idea," Dad said.

We then talked about school and how it was going. I told them--Derrick, of course, knew--about the combo and things we had done. Aside from the one bit of "unpleasantness", everything was fine and dinner was delicious.

After dinner I told my folks I had to get back to get some studying done and reminded them they were expected for Sunday dinner.

Just as I was leaving, Derrick asked if I was still going out with Christine and, if so, why I didn't pick him and his girl up. "I haven't been out with Christine in a couple weeks. I've been kinda busy."

When he walked to the truck with me, he said, "Kent, that Christine is hot-to-trot, man. I think you're missing out on something there."

"Little Brother, there is more to a relationship than a piece of ass," I said as I climbed in the truck. "See ya," I said to him as I started out the drive.

As I drove home, I thought about what Derrick had said and my response. I was pretty inexperienced when it came to women and I didn't know whether I was misreading Christine or if I was wrong. I laughed when I thought about asking one of the guys anything about dealing with women. I supposed they might have had some ideas, but would probably not be a great deal of help to me. My mind was just wandering around. Actually I was semiconscious when suddenly I came to my senses. Of course there was help at hand! If anyone could help me out, Paula was the girl. I laughed at my denseness and increased my speed. I would talk to Paula.

I got back to the house at 9:30 and saw Eugene, Larry and Paula pulling in right ahead of me. As soon as we had the car and truck put away, we all walked into the house, went to the kitchen and I put on coffee. We were all sitting at the kitchen table and when the coffee was ready, I poured four cups. We sat and talked about how choir practice went, all the work the two guys had gotten done and how dinner at my place went. I started not to tell them about Dad's blow-up, but decided they needed to know--that he had blown-up and had apologized, at least as much as he could.

"You'll have to admit, Kent," Larry said, "it must have been a pretty big shock to find your son is living with four men who love men."

"Yea, I'm sure it is and would be, but he had no right to put down my friends."

"Don't think it will happen again," Eugene said. "Well, I'm for a run on the beach. Anyone else?"

"It's dark already," Paula said.

"It's light enough to run," Eugene said. "Ready, Larry?"

"Yea, let's get dressed." The two raced upstairs, leaving me with Paula.

We sat in silence for a couple minutes, drinking another cup of coffee and, finally, I said, "Paula, I have a problem. I thought about talking to the guys about it. I mean, that's what would be usual but, well, what I mean is, I'm having a bit of a problem about women and don't think they would be much help."

"You might be surprised. They have been big brothers that way to Michael--and Mary Kathryn--but shoot. What's the problem?"

"Well, you've met Christine." Paula nodded. I don't know why I made that obvious statement.

"I've noticed you haven't gone out recently. Too busy and she's upset?"

"No, that's not it at all. I haven't asked her out because of a problem. This is kinda embarrassing, Paula, and I'm sure most men would laugh like hell and say they wished they had my problem."

Paula laughed and said, "Are you going to tell me about it or do I have to guess?".

"Damn, Paula, its embarrassing and, well, maybe not natural." I stammered to a halt and sat with my head down, not looking at Paula.

"Oh, so that's the problem, the reversal of the usual one. She wants to go faster and further than you. Right?"

"Yea, how did you know?"

"It wasn't too hard to guess. I saw her Labor Day and saw your reaction when she was crawling all over you."

"Don't you think it's unnatural? I mean not to want to go all the way big time?"

"Kent, I have been in love twice in my life. The first time it all came unglued because I wouldn't have sex. The second time, I know Jacob and I could have had beautiful sex, but we decided to wait. I guess that might be seen as unnatural if we were animals, but I don't think so for two human beings in love and who expect to spend years together. Sometimes we pass up pleasure today for something more important tomorrow."

"That's not my problem, Paula, not at all. We're not talking about two people in love. Maybe she loves me--she's never said so--and I know I'm not in love with her. So long as we were just friends and all we ever did was have a few kisses, it was ok. But the last couple times I have been out with her, she has had her hands all over me. The last time we were out, she actually, well, kinda, I mean she, well, damn it, she unzipped my pants and took my cock out. Now I'd be a fool to think you would believe me if I told you I wasn't aroused. I was. I was as hot and hard as hell but, at the same time, I didn't want to do anything with her. Well, I did but I didn't. If I have had, it would been just sex with no feeling. Well, I'm sure I would have felt it if I had, you know, shot off. What I felt was kinda disgusted with the whole thing. I mean, Paula, I'm no prude and I sure as hell am not sexless. I am as horny as the next guy, but I can't bring myself to have sex with just anybody. I mean I want to feel love for the person when I have sex. I mean..."

"Look, Kent, you don't have to say any more. You never need to apologize to anyone for not having sex. Usually, I'll admit, it is the woman in your situation, but it doesn't matter. Sex to some people is just a way to feel good and they aren't interested in their partner or, if they are, they still don't want to hear no. I guess if you didn't resist and Christine kept turning you on, you'd end up having sex. There comes a point beyond which it is nearly impossible to say no, but to drive someone to that point--who doesn't want to go there--is dirty and rotten."

"But when I tell Christine I'm not ready, she just keeps on."

"Kent, when I say no, I mean no. If you do and Christine doesn't respect that, then you need to move on."

"I hate to hurt her. She has been a good friend."

"Kent, she has been a good friend, but she's not being one now."

"What do I do?"

"Have you told her how you feel, I mean really."

"Yea, that's why I can't understand why she keeps on."

"My advice is just to forget it and not call her again. If she calls you, you can explain again or just tell her you have other plans. I'm not sure she will be all that hurt. She'll probably have someone else in short order."

We sat in silence a few minutes and I said, "Thanks, Paula. You are sure you're not available?"

"Very sure, Kent, but thanks for asking," She hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "And some young woman has a real treat in store for her one of these days."

Luke

I had nothing I really needed to do Wednesday night. Well that wasn't quite true. I could have spent the time in the studio working on the paintings I was doing for the house, but time with Matt was more important to me. I loved watching him play. I sometimes wondered if I was second in his life. I knew I wasn't most of the time, but when he started playing, I wasn't sure I even lived in the same universe he was in!

Choir practice went extremely well, I thought. Paula was a hard task master and if anyone thought she was too young for the job, they hadn't seen her work. She treated the choir with respect, but that didn't mean she took any nonsense just because they were all older. St. Anne's was getting two bargains in Paula and Matt and I was sure of that.

I was sitting in the darkened church, watching Matt and Paula, when Larry and Eugene came in and sat beside me. "Get a lot done?" I asked, "or did you just find a dark spot in the library and make out?"

"We thought about that, but decided our room was better for making out. That way you can stop when you want to and not when you are really getting in to it and realize the library frowns on naked bodies," Larry whispered.

Paula finished with the choir a few minutes after the two housemates had arrived, and the three left together. I joined Matt on the organ bench while he worked on his prelude and postlude. That didn't take long, and soon we were on the way home.

Sunset was clearly much earlier than it had been when we came to Ohio as it was dark when we left the church. Once again I drove to our lovers' lane, parked, and Matt and I got out. I had thrown a blanket in the truck before I left the house, so I grabbed it and we walked, arm-in-arm to the lake. I spread the blanket on the beach and we sat down, Matt between my legs. We just sat silently for a few minutes, then Matt turned his head toward me for a great kiss. As we broke the kiss, he said, "Luke, do you ever think about what life would have been like had we never discovered we were loved by the other?"

"Not really, but I do have nightmares sometimes in which that is true and I sure don't like them."

"Pity I was so dense I couldn't see you were in love with me. Sure would have saved a lot of anguish."

"But you didn't, nor did I but we are together now and that's what counts." I kissed Matt, then we stretched out on the blanket. Matt continued kissing me as he moved atop my body. As he did, I reached up and took the bands from his hair. It fell in a black cloud, creating our private world and flooding it with the fragrance of Matt. As we kissed, our passion increased until we both were rock hard.

Matt slid his hands under my shirt, pinched a nipple, then pulled my shirt over my head. As soon as my chest was bare, he started kissing it, nipping my nipples and rubbing his hands over my bare chest. Finally I was able to get Matt's shirt off and we lay, bare chest to bare chest.

Our kisses became more and more passionate, tongues working overtime. Soon I was breathing through Matt's mouth. Matt, without taking his lips from mine, found my belt and zipper, opened my pants and took Little Luke in hand. Not to be outdone, I did the same for Chili Pepper. The position we were in made doing anything, once we had our tools in hand, pretty much impossible until Matt rolled off of me and lay at my side. We stroked each other while exchanging kiss after kiss. Finally, Matt started kissing his way down my chest and when he reached my belly button, he gave it a good tickling with his tongue. Moving further down, he reached Little Luke and took him into his hot, hot mouth, sending shivers up and down my spine with his tongue work. Sixty-nine was not one of our favorite activities because we both liked to watch our lover's face and look into his eyes when we were having sex. But it was dark and I couldn't really see Matt that clearly and knew he couldn't see me too well. Without taking Little Luke from Matt's control, I pulled my body around until my face was at Matt's pleasure place. I used my tongue on his thigh, his balls, and then took Chili Pepper into my mouth.

Since Matt was uncut, I had learned that a tongue between his foreskin and shaft gave him tremendous pleasure. Not to worry, although I was cut, Matt's tongue was sending skyrockets through my head. We continued giving each other pleasure, using our tongues as we sucked each other's tool and stroked it at the same time. I felt myself reaching the point of no return but before I could say anything, Matt exploded in my mouth, rapidly filling it with his gift. As his first charge hit the back of my throat, I exploded in his mouth.

Both having experienced a tremendous climax, I turned my body around again and kissed my dark lover. "Sarang Hanun Pomul, promise you will never, ever leave me... never."

"Of course I promise, Luke, but why do you think you need a new promise? I have promised to be with you until we are parted by death and I meant it."

"I know, Matt. And I don't know why I need to hear it from time-to-time, but I do. I just get to feeling insecure. It's a bad feeling and I need to hear you say the words. Ok, Matt, Dark Angel, I need to hear you say it because I am very unsure of myself right now. I hope you don't mind, but I made an appointment to see a psychologist on campus and made an appointment for you as well. I think after the first one, we need to see her together. Do you mind?"

"Luke, I told you we needed to see someone, so I'm glad you took the initiative. I should have done it but I didn't. And maybe she can help with some of our problems, Luke, my Bright Angel, but I don't think she could help much with the problem I'm having lying naked on a beach in Ohio the last of September. Luke, it's cold!"

"Want me to warm you up?" I laughed at Matt.

"I think I'd rather you warm me up in a nice warm bed!"

"Ok, killjoy," I said in as pouty a voice as I could manage, while trying not to laugh as Matt shivered beside me.

When we got home, Paula and Kent were in the library, Paula writing e-mail and Kent reading a botany book. "Where are the other two, upstairs making out?" I asked.

"Probably, but they went up to shower after a run on the beach," Kent said. Just as he spoke, Larry and Eugene walked in, hand-in-hand. They were dressed in sweats, their hair wet from the shower.

"Where have you two been? I would ask what you were doing, but I know the answer to that!" Larry laughed.

"We were on the beach too," Matt said. "Found a nice place at the end of a dirt road. What have you all been up to?"

Kent told us about the dinner with his family. When he finished, Matt said, "Sounds as if things are well on their way to being where they should have been all along."

"Yea, that's right," Kent agreed. "And they are definitely coming for dinner Sunday."

"That means it has to be special," Paula said.

"I also had a good talk with Paula about Christine." Kent and Paula then told us about their conversation.

"Kent, I may not be into women, but I am definitely a man and I know a lot of men will take sex any way they can get it. Some gay men screw any woman who will stand still for a minute--to prove to themselves they are not gay. I knew guys in school who made terrible remarks about this girl or that and their loose ways, but who delighted in using them for their own pleasure. I think a guy who has sex only with someone he at least respects, and hopefully loves, is the right guy, not the one who has a string of conquests," Eugene said, and there was general agreement with him. For a while we talked about sex and attitudes, and loving and being loved, then all went to our rooms. Matt and I were soon in a warm bed and asleep before there was much playing around.

Eugene

Sunday the choir sounded great and it was noticed. Several parishioners came up to Paula during coffee hour and complimented her on the job she was doing. Matt was hugging her when Luke, Larry and I finally got to tell her how good the choir had been.

We rushed home to finish dinner which had to be special for Kent's parents. They arrived shortly after us. Matt served them a glass of wine in the living room and gave Derrick a glass of juice. As soon as dinner was done, Paula, Larry and I joined them. We also had glasses of wine with them. When he brought the wine in, Matt had told the Glazes that we had wine at home and our parents knew we served it here as well. Mr. Glaze commented that if more families handled wine that way it wouldn't be a way of showing off for kids and we all agreed. Hearing that, Matt asked Derrick if he'd like a glass and he said he was fine with juice.

Dinner conversation revolved around all we had done on the place and how school was going. Derrick was interested in the sports we were playing and we all laughed. "I'm sure your high school team could beat any of ours," Luke said. "There are so few men at Oberlin all are on a team if they can walk. But it keeps us in shape and it's fun. Of course, winning once in a while would make it more fun."

After dinner, we went outside so Mr. Glaze could see what we had done with the garden and orchard. He even admitted that the orchard looked great. "Have you set up your spray program yet?"

"We haven't," Kent said. "Of course we sprayed when we had finished pruning, but that was the last of it. Got any information on what we need to do? Spraying fruit trees is not something I know a great deal about."

"I'll see you get the information and the materials you need. Little enough I can contribute to this operation." As we were walking back to the house, he turned to me and said, "You are married?"

"No, it's Luke and Matt who are married, at least as married as they can be. Our parish priest at home blessed their union. It was a great day and a very impressive ceremony."

"Are you and Larry planning such a ceremony?"

"We have talked about it a little but not much. It was important for Luke and Matt, but Larry and I have made our vows to each other and that is enough for us... at least for now. If we could be legally married or have whatever it would be for two men, we might but, when you get right down to it, Luke and Matt are no more married than we are. And I think I am right when I say the four of us are not only living in sin according to most people, but also violating the laws of the state. I wish the state would just admit it has no business in the bedroom, but I don't expect that to happen any time soon."

"Kent told us about the mess in Waterside. It's our closest town, but I stay away as much as possible although our church is there. It is a filthy mess that I hope gets cleaned out. He said you were pretty fast and something to deal with. That surprised me because you are the smallest of the crew."

"Yea, but I haven't been involved in martial arts for nothing. It has served me well. As a matter of fact, it got me Larry."

"You karate kicked him until he gave in?" Mr. Glaze laughed.

I told him how I had defended Larry when he was the new boy at school. "When that happened, I was much larger than Larry, but I stopped growing and he started."

"To be honest with you, Eugene, I am having a hard time with the idea of two men being married or living together like a husband and wife. I guess I'll get used to it, but I'll admit it's not easy."

"Well, we are not exactly like husband and wife--we are, after all, two men."

"But isn't one like the woman and the other the man?"

"No, not at all. We are definitely two men and we live and act as men."

"But I mean when you... well, when you... I mean, you know..."

"You mean when we have sex?"

"Well, yea. I don't want to pry or anything, but isn't one a woman then?"

"Nope. Anything Larry does, I do. Who does what depends on our mood at the time. Guess that's a bit hard to understand, but what you have to remember, at least for the four of us, is that our partners are our equals in everything. One doesn't rule and the other obey. And if you are wondering about Kent, he's as straight as they come--I'd bet on that--and none of us will hit on him. We have what we want and are united by a sacred bond, recognized or not."

"I hope you know I am very new at thinking being gay is ok. I have always thought it was a horrible sin. I might have thought otherwise, but I had a very bad experience while I was in the military. You know there are no gays in the military, right? Wrong! I had a corporal in basic training who was in charge of a squad. One night he asked if I wanted to sneak over to the PX for a beer and I certainly did.

We drank more than we should and on the way back to the barracks, we passed a shack of some sort. He said, 'I need to take a piss, let's go inside.' There was a latrine inside and as soon I took my dick out to piss, he grabbed it. When I protested, he said, 'Look, Glaze, you are absent from the barracks without leave and you are half-drunk, which you could not be unless you had left your area. Now we can have a little fun or I can turn you in. It's up to you.' I was scared shitless. I knew I didn't stand a chance if I was turned in or got caught, so I went along with him. I had to give him a blow job and then he said he was going to pay me back with a good fuck. I drew the line there and he laughed and said, "Fucking or being fucked, I like both. Fuck my ass. Get naked.' While I was undressing, he went to a closet and came back with a jar, I guess, of Vaseline. So I fucked his ass to save mine."

"When we got back to the barracks, I managed to slip in without being caught, but the company commander had been looking for the corporal and he was gone the next day. You're the first person I ever told that, Eugene, but I wanted you to understand my aversion to gays is not just empty-headed prejudice. After Kent told us the four of you were gay, I had a hard struggle reconciling my one experience with someone I knew was gay with you four. I mean you are hardworking, honest, caring--all the things a father hopes his sons will be--except you're gay. It is going to be hard for me to reach the place where I can say, 'They're gay, so what?'. I'm not there yet, but you four sure make it hard to think there is something evil and rotten about being gay. I mean if that's what you want..."

"Mr. Glaze, it's not a question of what we want or don't want. It's just the way it is. I didn't choose to be gay, I just woke up one day and realized I was."

"That's what Kent told me about you guys, but I found it hard to believe. But it's true then?"

"Yea, as a matter of fact, Larry did just about everything to prove to himself he was straight, but it didn't work. He was born gay and he's still gay. And if you want to know the truth, I'm glad because I love the guy. I can see why, from your experience, you'd hate gays, but that was only one guy. There are four of us here and I can tell you, none of us would force someone to have sex." I knew I was telling the truth now and I sure as hell didn't want Mr. Glaze to find out about Larry. I didn't think he would, but I needed to make sure Kent never told his father about that dark moment in my relationship with Larry.

When we got back to the garage, Kent said, "How'd you like to see the studio and practice room?" The Glazes were all for it, so we climbed up the steps to the studio. All of Luke's work was hidden behind drapes except one. "When did you finish that, Luke?" I asked.

"Couple days ago. It's ready to hang when we get around to it." The painting was of the falls. Very different from the one he hung in the exhibition. This was a scene at sunset and the colors reflected that. It was beautiful.

When we got back to the house, the Glazes said they had to go. They started walking toward the car and Kent was with them. When they reached the car, Kent hugged each of them. It was clear this was an unexpected gesture on Mr. Glaze's part, but he got into it when he realized what was going on. When Derrick got in the car on the driver's side, Kent said, "Yea, Man! I forgot you had a birthday and have your driver's license! Now you can come by more often. That's great!"

"Yea, Derrick, we expect to see you around. And bring that good-looking woman with you. You are still hanging on to her aren't you?" Luke said with a laugh.

"Yea, still hanging on, see you."

As we walked inside, I had an opportunity to tell Kent he was never to tell his dad about the painful part of my relationship with Larry.

After the Glazes left, the six of us made short work of cleaning up after dinner. As we went about the job, we talked about the change in Kent's dad. "He didn't say it was a secret, so I suppose it's ok to talk about it. Mr. Glaze told me a horror story today which sheds some light on his attitude toward gays." I then told them what Mr. Glaze had told him about his experience.

"I can see how that would definitely color his thinking," Paula said, "but women who are raped don't assume all men are rapists. Stereotyping, even when it is based on an experience, is a damnable thing."

"Yea, but we're all guilty of it at one time or another, I'm sure. Remember when we talked about coming to Ohio and living among Yankees? Look at Kent and his family, the van Hooks, the people at St. Anne's. None of them are like what we talked about and expected. To be fair and just, you have to stay on guard against painting a group with a wide brush," Luke said.

We were all silent for a while, then Paula said, "Yea."

After getting things cleaned up and our "debriefing", everyone went to their rooms. When Larry and I got to our room, he wrapped his arms around me, pulled me close and whispered in my ear, "Eugene Willingham, I love you, do you know that? Do you believe that? I love you Gene."

"Lord, I'm glad to hear that," I laughed as I kissed Lar, "I'm really glad to hear that. I thought you might have changed your mind."

"Never. You have me as long as I live, so just get used to it, Gene."

"I guess I better get started then," I laughed and started undressing Lar.

Lar and I had started seeing a counselor several weeks before and brought up a new problem. When we first got together as a couple, it was as I told Mr. Glaze. Anything I did, Larry did, but that was no longer true. Ever since we had been in Ohio, Lar could not get inside me. The counselor encouraged Larry to at least try giving me what I wanted, him inside me. "Pick a time when you are both being playful and, Eugene, keep Larry from your penis until you are both very ready and have him try. Sooner or later it will happen." I remembered her words because Lar was being very playful.

I kept putting up some resistance to Lar's undressing me and at one point he was chasing me around the room. When he caught me, he took the rest of my clothes off and then it was my time to undress him. It wasn't easy! When he was finally undressed, he was fully aroused, as was I. Each time he reached for my cock, I moved so he couldn't get it in his hand, but made sure I got his in mine. After horsing around a bit more, Larry grabbed me and lifted me off my feet. Had I chosen, he could never have taken me, but I wanted him to win this fight! He tossed me on the bed and immediately covered my body with his. His lips covered mine and he sucked my tongue deep into his mouth. As he did, I reached for his cock, took it in my hand and stroked it gently as he continued his passionate kissing. When he moved to start kissing down my body, I flipped over on my stomach, drew my knees under me, my ass in the air.

Lar started kissing the back of my neck, nipping an ear as his hard cock slid up and down my crack. I reached into the bedside stand and took out a tube of lube, opened it and squirted a generous amount in my hand. It was difficult, but I managed to apply it to Lar's hard, hot cock and a large amount on my ass pucker. Larry certainly knew what I was up to and continued kissing my neck and nipping at an ear as he worked more and more lube inside me. I reached back, grabbed his cock and placed its head against my ass pucker and started pushing back slowly. This time, Lar didn't go limp or protest. I was ready and said so. Lar answered, "Babe, if you want it, turn over. I have to see your face 'cause you'll never tell me if I am hurting you."

"You promise you'll keep at it until I feel you inside?"

"Promise, Babe."

I turned over and said, "Lar, I'm ready. I want you now!" urging him on. I spread my legs wide and Larry placed the head of his cock against my hole and pushed slowly, gently forward. I was deep-breathing and doing everything else I could think of to relax. There was some pain, sure, but I tried to keep from showing it. Lar was entering me slowly when suddenly he was inside and if there was pain, I was too happy to notice as I felt him moving in slowly until his pubic hair was against my ass. Lar was fully inside me and, I can tell you, he had not gone limp! Once inside, he was very still for a time then started drawing his cock out of me, then pushing it in again. He was definitely being slow and easy and it felt far more wonderful than I had remembered it.

Lar kept up his slow rhythm, but I wanted more. "Lar, faster, Babe, and deeper." Lar paused, raised first one, then the other of my legs and placed them on his shoulders. He was kneeling behind me as he grasped my waist and pulled me to himself until his knees were under my ass. Now he could really plunge deep inside me. Once he was in position, his thrusts were deep, fast and hard. Once he was inside me, I had gone half-limp, but now Lar took my cock in his hand and began to stroke it in rhythm with his thrusts. "Yes, Babe, yes," I said through clinched teeth. His thrusts were now hitting a magic spot inside me, sending electric shocks through my body. I was determined to hold off but, with Larry's cock in my ass and his hand stroking mine, there was no way I could last much longer. I started to tell him to slow down with the hand but, just as I opened my mouth, Lar thrust even deeper inside me, his body became rigid, and I felt his hot seed explode into me. That did it. I started shooting, globs hitting Larry's chest and one actually getting him in the face.

Having reached our climax together, our last shots were also together. When he stopped shooting, Lar lifted my legs from his shoulders and lay on me. His mouth found mine and, once again, he was kissing me passionately. Finally he just lay his head on my chest, over my heart, and stayed there until his cock became limp and slipped from my ass. When it did, he rolled off of me and we lay side-by-side, my eyes smiling into his and his into mine. After a few minutes I said, "Thank you, Lar. You have made me very happy."

"Not half as happy as you have made me, Babe. I never thought I would be able to make love to you that way again, and I knew it was very important to you. But, Gene, I think it was even more important to me. For the first time, I really feel forgiven for what I did. You accepted me, wanted me, and that makes my world."

"And mine as well." We lay together, exchanging kisses for a long time, then Lar got up, took my hand and pulled me up, swept me into his arms again and took me to the bathroom where we cleaned up after our fantastic love-making.

When we got back to our room, we crawled into bed and, holding each other, were soon asleep.

We slept late Monday morning, too late for a run. We showered, shaved and got dressed. While we were dressing, we heard Matt, Luke and Kent come into the hall talking about their morning run. We went downstairs, fixed coffee and sat at the kitchen table drinking it. When the other three guys came down, Matt started breakfast but, before he did, he said, "I think I see a happy look on two faces this morning."

Both Lar and I blushed and said, "Yea, bet you do!".

Chapter Nine

Matt

When I got to Oberlin Monday morning, there was a note in my student mailbox asking me to see Professor Moler at my convenience. I had three classes that morning and didn't get to go by his office until lunch. When I got there, his student assistant said he was not in, but would be in all afternoon. I asked her if she knew why he needed to see me and she said she did not.

A couple people from the newly formed combo had started eating lunch with us and the lunch conversation generally revolved around what the combo was doing. Richard, who was more or less the leader, said they had been asked to play for a party a week from Friday. "They requested love songs and I think, from what the lady who called said, that means fifties and sixties. I don't know that many or where we can get them. Any ideas?"

Luke laughed, "Ask Matt. He's got all sorts of tapes he made from his dad's old LPs. We did one of them already, 'More'."

"Sure, I have plenty on tape. You're welcome to use them," I said. I told my housemates I had to see Professor Moler after my 1:00 o'clock class. "I had a note in my box asking that I see him as soon as possible. I have no idea what's up. I'll meet you at the gym," I said to Luke, who had PE at 1:00 and would be at the gym.

After my 1:00 o'clock class, I went again to Professor Moler's office. When I got there, I was told he was in and knocked on his office door. "Come in," he said and as I stepped through the door, he said, "Matt! Very good. Have a seat. I have a bit of serious business to discuss." I sat down, wondering just what "serious business" could be.

"Matt, I have a request which I think is right up your alley. I am a member of the Bach Organ Society. There are chapters across the country. It's a pretty loose federation, but occasionally the chapters do get together and plan something. The federation board has just asked that chapters--maybe two coming together if they are small--sponsor a series of organ concerts this summer. We all realize that most chapters--even if two chapters combine--cannot afford a well-known, professional concert organist. A call has gone out for good organists to play the series. I immediately thought of you. To be honest, I have several good organ students who could do an adequate job, but--now don't start getting a big head or be an ego problem for me--you are an excellent organist. I expect you to made advances in your four years here. Your technique will improve some, but not a great deal. Your time here will best be spent in other areas--composition, arrangement, learning to write for the organ and other instruments. But I'm beating about the bush again. Chapters are urged to send tapes to the planning committee and they will select two organists to play the series. Are you interested?"

"Of course I'm interested. I mean it is an excellent opportunity, but I'd like to know a bit more about the whole setup."

"Good thinking. You can get yourself in some real messes if you don't look hard and close at such offers. You'll need to get a manager soon. That's a step full of pitfalls as well. I'd like to talk with you about that before too long. Since I am on the board of the Society, I know this is on the up and up but, just to make sure, I suggest you find someone to look over the contract should you be selected. I will, of course, but there's a conflict of interest involved, so you need an outsider. For this contract, a good lawyer will be what you need."

"Of course you want to know about the setup. The program, selected by the organist, will be all Bach, of course. I did hold out for the encore, if there is one, to be Bach or not Bach as the organist chooses. I was hoping to find someone who would do a crowd-pleaser using a pop tune or something 'in the manner of Bach', but I lost that battle. Anyway, we envision two concerts of an hour to an hour and a half each week, Sunday and Wednesday evenings. Some chapters will want a Saturday evening concert as well. Whether or not they get it is up to the organist and, Matt, they pay extra for a third concert and, of course, the expenses for two or three concerts will be less than for a single one as they only have to fly you in once. I think if you are asked to do a third concert, the cost should be more than half of what you get for two. I'd suggest about three-fourths of what you get for two. "

"The chapters will be responsible for your transportation--at least business class--and housing. We're insisting on hotels, otherwise fanatic organ lovers will get you in their homes and keep you up all night talking. You will be free to choose where you have your meals."

"Concerts will pay you well--not like you were an established professional, but well. What do you think?"

"My head's spinning so fast I can't think. It sounds like a real opportunity--it is a real opportunity if I should be chosen as one of the two. When would these concerts be taking place?"

"Good question. One series will be in July, the other in August. The first series will start on July 7, the second August 4. Do you have a preference?"

"Assuming I am one of those chosen, I'd like the July concerts if I have a choice."

"Very good." I was suddenly aware that Professor Moler had been busy making notes all the time we were talking. "Anything else you need to ask?"

"Yes, sir. How long do I have before I make a tape and where will that be done?"

"Good thinking, Matt. You'll make the tape here. I'll see about arranging the taping. Unless I tell you otherwise, plan on taping Saturday October 28. That will give us time to re-tape anything necessary since the tapes don't have to be in until November 15. The judges are meeting December 15 and the decision will be made then. If you are selected--and you have a good chance, an excellent chance, Matt--you will be notified by phone the 16th or 17th. Otherwise, you'll be notified by mail. So you will actually know not later than the 17th, one way or the other."

"Professor, I'd like Larry to participate in the taping. He did such an excellent job of the recital/concert and then worked all last summer with the PBS station in Lexington."

"I'll get in touch with the right people and get Larry put in charge if you think he can handle it."

"I'm sure he can and he will not be satisfied with anything less than perfection. Thanks for your interest in me, Professor Moler."

"Matt, I don't think I have ever had a student as advanced as you are and with your potential. It will be a feather in my cap when you make good. You just have to promise never to tell anyone you were damn good when I laid hands on you," he laughed.

"Promise, and thanks again."

I was walking on air as I headed toward the gym through the crisp October afternoon. The campus was ablaze with the colors of maples and the sky was crystal clear and blue beyond imagination. I was feeling on top of the world.

When I got to the gym, Luke's conditioning class was still going on. There were several very hot hunks exercising, their sweaty bodies displaying superb builds. I could have lusted after any of them, except right in the middle of the crowd was one body which made all the others pale in comparison--Yonghon Tongmu, my soulmate, Luke. He finally saw me standing on the edge of the floor, waved and smiled. Shortly afterward, a whistle sounded and a rotund figure who should have been working out big time, shouted, "Showers, Ladies".

Luke rushed down the stairs to the showers and I went outside and sat on a park bench in the sun. Life was good, love was good, sex was good, Luke was good, all was good. I was a peaceful and happy young man. I was so comfortable and the sun was so warm I became very relaxed and, I guess, slipped off into dreamland because the next thing I knew, Luke was shaking me and saying, "Sarang Hanun Pomul, join the land of the living!". When I opened my eyes, Luke was leaning over me with a great Luke smile covering his face. As soon as he saw I was awake, he bent down and gave me a great Luke kiss.

"Don't you think you need to be careful about that?" I asked. "Not that I don't think it's about the greatest way I know of waking up!"

"Matt, sometimes I just don't feel like being careful and this is one of them!" Luke pulled me to my feet, wrapped his arms around me and gave me a real, tongue-tingling kiss.

As we broke our kiss, a couple guys came out of the gym and, seeing us, whistled. One of them shouted, "Way to go, Luke, Babe!" and Luke glanced over to them and waved, his fingers giving the victory sign.

"Well," I thought, "so much for being careful". The damage, if any, having been done, Luke and I walked across campus, arm-in-arm. I didn't know what to think or do when, from time to time, Luke kissed me. Finally I thought it was time for some explanation of Luke's behavior, not that I didn't like it. But, at the same time, we had gotten ourselves in a real bind just making out in a movie and here we were walking across campus like the two love birds we were. "Luke, what's come over you? We've been so careful and now you are practically announcing to all the world that we are a couple."

"Yea! I have always wanted the world to know but, today in showers, one of the guys asked if I wasn't gay. Don't know how he came to ask the question but, when he did, I said, 'Damn right!'. He then asked if I had a lover and I said, 'I'm married to him,' and the rest of the guys started asking questions and I told them I was married to you, Babe. Matt, I know we said we wouldn't tell anyone without the other knowing, but I knew you were waiting for me and was feeling soooo good that I just couldn't not tell. Mad?"

"Noooo, I mean no, but I just hope there's no problems as a result of it."

Luke laughed and said, "You know what one of the guys said? He said, 'Damn, you have to get the best-looking and hottest hunk on campus,' and I said, 'Damn right and you better keep hands off!'. Then I said, 'Holy Shit! I hope this doesn't result in another gay-bashing. I've had enough of that this fall.' One of the guys said, 'Luke, I'm straight, none straighter, but if anyone wants to give you trouble on this campus, I'm there for you'. Several of the other guys agreed. It really felt good to have some of my classmates ready to fight for us."

"Yea, but I sure hope they don't have to. But I've got big news, Babe." I then told Luke about the concert series. "Luke it is a very big break if I can just land one of the two series."

"Another summer separated? Think we can handle it?"

"I think we better get used to it, Luke, because I suspect we are going to spend a lot of time apart for most of our life."

"Maybe so, Matt, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. And I do think it's something we need to talk about."

"Right, Luke. Definitely."

Luke said, "Matt, I am so proud and so excited for you." He suddenly spun around until he was facing me, put his arms around me and bent me backwards as he placed a long, passionate kiss on my lips.

As Luke finally broke our kiss, two girls walking near us looked at us and one said, "Shit! Every time I find a good-looking one, he turns out to like cock better!" Luke and I started laughing and, holding hands, continued laughing as we walked to the Jeep.

As we drove home, we talked about the summer and, I guess, just thinking about it brought bad thoughts to both of us. Finally Luke said, "Matt, last summer is behind us. It's over and done with. There's no reason to be thinking bad thoughts. I said it and I meant it: I am very proud of you and I am very excited about this real opportunity. We'll handle summer this time. We've made our mistakes. So let's be happy and excited."

I agreed with Luke but, still, there was a gnawing something in the back of my mind. "Luke, let's be happy and excited, but we keep our appointments with the psychologist and work on those things we don't want to think about but which keep popping into our minds, such as last summer."

"Right, Matt, but now I'm happy and I'm excited."

I took my eyes off the road for long enough to kiss my love and said, "Right, Babe, I AM happy and I am excited".

When we got home, I went into the kitchen and set out juice and snacks, knowing the others would be home soon, even Kent. Luke had gone into the library and called me from there. "Matt, we have a message on the machine from Margaret. She wants us to call as soon as all the rest of the Concord crew gets here. She says it's not an emergency and we needn't worry if we can't get her right away."

I had hardly gotten things on the table when the Oberlin crew arrived, followed shortly by Kent. Everyone immediately congregated in the kitchen and, as soon as everyone was present, I said, "We have real good news but, first, there is a phone call from Margaret. She wanted us to call her as soon as we all were here. So let's take care of that."

Margaret answered the phone promptly and immediately assured us that there was no real emergency. She just wanted us to know what had happened to Christopher, but told us she thought everything would be ok. I then told her my news. She was very pleased. She told us what was going on with the Fellowship, the changes in the school and that she thought others were beginning to take our place. "Unless there's some significant change in Christopher, we can keep in touch by e-mail, but I did want to talk to you about this development. Michael seems to be on top of it. I hope so." We chatted a few minutes more and the others went back into the kitchen for more juice and snacks. I phoned Mom and Dad to tell them the news and both were very excited and pleased. "I guess that means we'll have you here in June and August. Will be great to have you at home again, you surely are missed," Mom said.

"You may have me all summer," I said. "I don't have the concert series yet."

"Matt, who could possibly be in competition with you?" Dad laughed. "You may as well get measured for tails now!"

"Dad, I think I can draw some lines and tails are way past the line I'll draw," I laughed. We talked about what was going on at school, and community news.

Dad then told me about the allegations against Mr. Stevenson and the cross-burning. I was livid! "Dad, how can that kind of thing go on? You know Mr. Stevenson is innocent! And a cross-burning in Concord? It makes the town look like the hick town the people here think southern towns are!"

I ranted and raved for a few more minutes until Dad finally said, "Matt, Matt, I know, I know. I am sure it will be solved soon. Some of us have some ideas, but we're keeping them very much to ourselves right now. Don't worry!"

I went in to the kitchen and told the others about Mr. Stevenson and the cross-burning. Just as I expected, Kent said, "Now that sounds like the southern towns I know about from the movies".

"Yea, that's just what I was fucking afraid of! Shit!"

When I looked around, all four of my Concord pals were looking at me with their mouths open. Luke started laughing and started singing, "By jove, I think he's got it! He's got it!" I realized what I had said and, I guess, did a good job with the four-letter words. I blushed and then felt a slow grin spreading over my face.

We talked about the situation a few minutes and then Luke said, "Look, John Stevenson is a friend, as is Uncle Michael. I think we should call them just to let them know we are thinking about them and pulling for them." We all trooped into the library, Luke dialed the number and, when Mr. Stevenson answered, turned on the speaker-phone so we could all hear and talk.

He told us how he appreciated our call and support and that he had good support from Ms. Jones and Millie, but really didn't know where the mess would end. I asked if he had any ideas who was behind it and he said he did not. I started to mention what Dad had said, but decided against it. After we had talked to Mr. Stevenson, we all talked to Uncle Michael. He said he had told John they could just move to Charleston and forget the whole mess and Concord, "But John wouldn't hear of it and I am glad. I would take him out of this mess if he wanted to go, but I'm proud of him for wanting to fight--and fight we will." We talked a bit longer, then went back to the kitchen where we sat and talked and worked on supper.

We were all talking about what was going on in Concord, rehashing what we had all heard, when Kent said, "Didn't I hear something about some good news when I first came in?"

"In all the Concord excitement, I forgot it but, yes, I have good news," I said. I then told them about the concerts and that I was going to compete for one of the series. "Of course, it is not a sure thing at all. I suspect there will be tons of organists, all as good or better than I am, competing, but I'll have a crack at it."

"Matt, you know that there are not tons of organists as good or better than you and those who are are already professionals," Eugene said.

"Well I'm not so sure, but I'm glad even to be recommended for the competition. Which reminds me, Larry, I asked that you be in charge of making the audition tape. I suppose there are others as good, but I know you and your work. Think you can handle that?"

"Don't see why not. Besides, I can use it as a class project and get credit for it. The more things we can make double duty, the better. I suppose you'll use your Bach audition pieces for your performance class, won't you? Would make sense."

"Would, but I can't. My teacher is hell-bent on me doing modern stuff this semester. I'll just have to double up my practicing. Of course, I have several Bach pieces I know well."

"Yea, we know, 'Sheep' and 'Jesu', Eugene laughed.

"I know I know zilch about music," Kent said, "so what is with this 'Sheep' and 'Jesu' bit? I keep hearing it."

"Two Bach pieces," Paula said. "Matt once said any church organist could play 'Sheep'--its real name is 'Sheep may Safely Graze'--and 'Jesu'--real name 'Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring'--in their sleep, and use them when they haven't practiced. They're pieces which have been overplayed, I suspect, but are lovely pieces and people do like them."

"Because they know them," Matt said. "Well, I need to pick several pieces that haven't been overplayed and a couple that are familiar, I suspect, for the audition tape. And, of course, I can use them at St. Anne's."

"So you have your summer planned," Paula said. "Think you and Luke can be separated without fucking up this time?" I hadn't realized just how much our last summer had affected Paula until she said that.

"I sure as hell hope so," Luke said. "Another summer like the last one and we'll both be to bury and I'm not kidding!"

Kent sat looking very puzzled. "You guys have a problem with summers? He asked then said, "Well, I didn't mean to pry."

Luke sorta hung his head and then said, "We had problems last summer". And the two of us told Kent a very condensed version of the story of the last summer.

When we finished, Kent asked, "And the nightmare from hell is a result?" Luke and I nodded.

Luke

Matt and I discussed his opportunity, and what it might mean for our summer, but nothing was definite since he still had to be accepted as one of the two organists. I was absolutely confident he would be accepted, but he kept maintaining there had to be tons of organists as good as he was. My thinking was if the organ teacher at Oberlin thought he had a good crack at it, he did. Surely Professor Moler had other students, advanced students, he could have recommended, but he had asked Matt and I thought that said a lot.

Sunday he and Paula once again showed how good they were and it was appreciated by many of the parishioners, including those who were in the music department at Oberlin, and that also bode well for Matt being one of the two organists chosen by the Bach Organ Societies.

When we all got home Wednesday, there was a letter waiting for me from Uncle Michael. When I saw it I wondered why he would be writing me, especially since I had talked to him a week before. I opened the letter and was stunned by its contents. Seems Uncle Michael had planned my summer. The letter asked about me doing a series of exhibitions in some of the best and most exclusive private galleries. "You, of course, will travel with the exhibition and be on hand for people to meet and talk with. If you don't have enough works now, will you have by summer?" he had asked. "The exhibition will cover a large number of cities with an opening and reception Sunday afternoon, closing Friday and moving to the next city Saturday. It will be a real trying schedule but will definitely give you exposure."

"Starting when?" Matt asked.

"The first will open in Charleston, at Sanders and Sanders Gallery of course, on June 16th, three weeks after we finish here."

"Will you be ready?" Paula asked. "Can you use some of your earlier works?"

"I think I can be ready and I'm sure I can use some of my earlier works, but I don't think there are many available. I guess I'll need to ask Uncle Michael about that."

"I sure hope you include the painting of Matt," Kent said. "That is a piece of work even I can appreciate."

"Kent, you keep putting yourself down about not knowing music and art. Since you're not an artist or musician, no-one can expect you to know as much as we do, but you know a lot more than you give yourself credit for," Larry said. "I'm not an artist or musician and do not know as much as those who are, but I don't have to apologize for it. None of them could make a decent tape or video just as they couldn't properly care for the orchard. Different folks, different talents. Don't put yourself down so."

"Thanks, Larry, I guess I do. Maybe some of my dad's attitude toward me rubbed off on me."

"Well wash it off," Eugene laughed. "And Kent's right, Luke, that painting of Matt has to be included."

"I don't know. I suspect all the works have to be for sale and in that case it definitely will not be included. It is not for sale!"

"Damn, it seems we have just gotten here and already we're planning the summer," Larry said. "Remember when it was a year between December first and Christmas? Now it's only a week between summers."

"Speaking of planning the summer," Paula said, "has the schedule for the exhibitions been set? I mean other than the opening in Charleston?"

"I don't know," I answered. "Why?"

Matt jumped up, kept thrusting his fist in the air and shouting "YES!".

"Did I miss something?" I asked, wondering just what the hell was going on. As I looked around, Paula was laughing, Kent looked puzzled and then a grin spread across his face, just as Larry and Eugene gave each other a high five. "Would someone please tell me just what the hell is going on here?" I pleaded.

"Luke, I bet that most of the cities on your schedule will be on mine. We may not have to be separated for any length of time this summer," Matt said through his laughter. It took me a while longer to see what they had all seen almost at once. "Call Uncle Michael and find out if the schedule has been set. If not, I'll get a copy of the schedule from Professor Moler and see if Uncle Michael can't schedule the exhibitions at the same time as the concerts."

"But you don't know whether you will be chosen for July or August," I said.

"Luke, Yonghon Tongmu, I don't know that I will be chosen at all. But it doesn't matter! The exhibition can be scheduled for both months and if I get one, that's great. If I get none, your exhibitions' schedule will still be good."

I pounded myself on the forehead. "Damn, I am sooo dense! Of course it won't matter so far as the exhibitions are concerned. I'll call Uncle Michael right away."

"And ask about exhibiting Matt's picture," Kent said.

I phoned Uncle Michael and we talked at length about what was going on in Concord. He told me nothing had developed concerning the cross-burning or the attack on Mr. Stevenson. He assured me they were being very careful and the police were patrolling their street on an irregular schedule, but were by at least once each hour. We finally got around to talking about his proposal for a series of exhibitions. When I asked if the schedule had been set, he said it had not been, but that it would have to be set by January first.

"You're planning on opening in Charleston?"

"Of course, at Sanders and Sanders Gallery. Roger is doing a great job and this exhibition will certainly get people into the gallery. I have one painting here that will definitely be included, 'Death and Transformation'."

"That answers a question I had--at least I think it does. Will 'Death and Transformation' be for sale?"

"Certainly not! How could you even ask?"

"Well Kent, our new housemate, said he thought the picture of Matt should be included, but you know it is not for sale."

"What's done by some galleries which are not quite as ethical as Sanders, is to put an outlandish price on paintings that are not for sale and put a sold tag on them. I just make a note in the catalog saying the painting is the property of the artist and is on loan for the exhibition. Planned to see if I could get Sandra to part with her painting of Paula for the summer. But how is your work coming, Luke?"

"To be honest, Uncle Michael, not very well. I can't seem to get inspired and the time I have is so hacked into pieces that I just get started and have to stop. I need to do some serious looking at that."

"I certainly hope so. But what do you think of the traveling exhibition? I guess we could arrange for you to get home for a day or two now and then to see Matt, but the schedule is really grueling."

"Uncle Michael, that's the reason I called. Matt just got some good news--he says it's not good news until it happens, but I know it will happen." I then told Uncle Michael about the possibility of Matt doing concerts all of July or August. "He told Professor Moler he'd prefer July if he gets one of the concert series and if he has a choice. Matt is sure the concert series dates have been set. Would it be possible for us to schedule the same cities on those dates, provided you have gallery contacts in them?"

"Splendid idea, Luke! we can probably both get some good publicity that way. Send me the schedules and I will get busy."

"Thanks, Uncle Michael. I'll fax the schedules to you as soon as Matt can get them. He's at Holtkamp tomorrow, so it will probably be Friday before I can get them to you."

"Good enough, but the sooner the better. This sounds like it will be a great summer."

"Well, you and Mr. Stev... John take care so you will be around this summer and a lot more summers."

"Believe me, we will."

When I hung up the phone, I told the others nothing had developed in the way of finding out who was behind the attack on Mr. Stevenson and the cross-burning. "John accused of hitting on a student," Matt said. "That is really insane. I don't know anyone who is more of a dedicated teacher and I know he would never do that."

"They are after him and Keith Lewis as well? I wonder how Keith fits into the picture?" Eugene asked.

"Well, there's no use in worrying about it, I know, but we will," Paula said. "But, right now, someone needs to get on supper."

Matt

After supper, we all hit the books. I was getting ready for Friday so I wouldn't have to be up late Thursday night. After working an hour or so, I was ready and went downstairs to practice. I also spent some time looking over the Bach I had and making a few selections. When I finished, I wrote a note to Professor Moler asking for a copy of the proposed concert schedule and telling him why I wanted it. I started to say that Luke would pick it up, then remembered Luke would be at Case Western Reserve the following day. I walked down the hall, tapped on Paula's door and called, "Paula, need to see you a minute". When Paula came to her door, I asked if she could carry a note to Professor Moler's office and pick up a schedule for the concert series the next day.

"Sure, no problem. I'll drop the note off as soon as I get to school. Ask him to put the schedules in my box. No problem."

"Thanks, Paula." I kissed her on the cheek and said, "Sweet dreams".

She said, "Yea," in a voice that said, "I doubt it".

Paula

I almost laughed to myself when Matt said, "Sweet dreams". My dreams lately were anything but sweet. I kept having a nightmare in which I was dressed like a fairytale princess, watching two knights do battle. Both were dressed in white armour, one trimmed in gold and red, the other in silver and blue. Handsome knights they were. I did not know how I knew, but I knew the knight who won the combat would be my fairy prince. Seldom did a week pass that I did not have the dream.

I took Matt's letter to Professor Moler's office as soon as I got to Oberlin. His student assistant was sitting out front, half-asleep, drinking a Coke and eating cookies, leaving crumbs all over her desk. I wanted to tell her off but just handed her the note and asked when Professor Moler would be in. "Sometime. He's supposed to be here for the second hour's class."

"Does he miss it often?"

"Are you kidding? He never misses."

"Then one might suppose, might one not, that he will be here at nine or shortly before?"

"Yea, I guess." She went back to drinking her Coke and eating cookies, adding to the crumbs already on the desk.

"Do you think you might give him this note?" I asked, handing her the note.

"Yea, I'll put it in his IN box."

"If you would, and be sure he sees it. It's important."

"Yea, every student thinks his or her note is important."

I left the office and headed for class, very uncomfortable about the fate of Matt's note. I rushed out of my 10:00 o'clock class, raced across campus to Professor Moler's office, hoping to catch him in. He was just closing his office door when I raced up, all out of breath.

"Hold up, young lady, get your breath. Miss Wright, I believe."

"Yeee, yes," I was finally able to get out. "Paula, old gal, you better get in more running if this is the shape you are in," I thought to myself. "Yes, Professor. I wanted to make sure you got Matt Greywolf's note. Did you?"

"I don't remember seeing it. When did he put it in my box?"

"He didn't. I brought it in this morning and gave it to your student assistant. She said she would put it in your IN box."

"Well, let's check. I don't think I had anything in my IN box this morning." He unlocked his office and looked inside and said, "No, nothing in the box".

I looked at his assistant's desk and saw the envelope laying on it, covered with cookie crumbs. "There it is," I said, wanting him to see the mess on the desk.

He walked over, picked up the envelope, shook the crumbs off and said, "Paula, you wouldn't be looking for a job, would you? I have had it with that Coke-swigging, cookie-eating non-assistant!"

"Sorry, but I think you had something to do with my getting a full scholarship. But if you are looking for a hard-working assistant, I think I know where you can find one." I told him about a girl I had befriended in my choral music class who was having a hard time making ends meet. "Don't know how she would be here, but she's a real worker in class and has a great personality."

"Tell her to come by to see me and make that yesterday. I am ready for a change! Now let's see what Matt wants."

"If it will speed things up, I can tell you what he wants and you can read the reasons later. He'd like a copy of the dates for the proposed concert series if you have one."

"Sure do. Just got it yesterday. Actually, it came three days ago, but my non-assistant didn't pick up my college mail for several days. I'll get a copy right now." Professor Moler went into his office and came back with two sheets of paper. "Walk down the hall to the copier with me and you can have them now."

As soon as I got the copies, I thanked Professor Moler and, as I turned to go, he called, "If you really want to thank me, send that young woman around."

I was a bit late slipping into my choral music class, but no-one seemed to notice or care. While the basses were being chewed out for not working on their part of a piece, I leaned over to Lucinda, who was directly in front of me, and said, "May have some good news for you. See me after class." She nodded in response.

"Miss Wright, how would you handle a chorus in which the basses don't seem to want to work?" Miss Ludlum, our teacher for this class, asked.

Since I had been only half-listening, I knew that this was her way of putting me on the spot and making an example of me. She did it to intimidate students and I had fallen for it at first, but now I wasn't going to be intimidated and thought it was time she stopped. I stepped down from the risers, walked to the front of the class, took her baton from her hand, said, "Thank you," turned to the class and said, "Basses on your toes". I nodded to the student accompanist. She started the introduction and when the basses should have come in, they straggled in. "Gentlemen, you may think you are all great, and you may be, but this is not a piece for soloists, so you are going to have to get together. Shall we try again?" The second attempt was a bit better, but not good. "You, you and you, down here with me." The three guys came down. "Now I want you to listen and tell me what's wrong. Again, basses." On the third attempt, it was better. I turned to the three I had called down. "Who was not working this time?"

The three guys stood looking at the floor. "Well?" One of them muttered something. "Who?" He pointed to a guy in the back. "Ok, down here. We'll finally find who is interested and who is taking choral music because they think it's a crip course. "Now," I raised the baton and this time the basses were very much together. "Thank you," I said, then turned to the four standing with me. "Any of you here because you think it's a crip course? If so, you can go. The rest of you get back in place and get with the program." The four went back to their places and I raised the baton again. The basses were fine and I nodded and the accompanist played the piece from the beginning. The group didn't do too badly and the basses were good. When the piece was finished, I turned to Miss Ludlum and said, "That's the way I would do it," as I handed her the baton.

When class was over, I told Lucinda about the job Professor Moler was ready to offer anyone who had half sense. "Probably doesn't pay a lot, but at least it would pay something."

"I'm counting every penny and anything is a plus," she said. "Thanks, Paula. And thanks for what you did in class. Maybe Ludlum will stop trying to embarrass people. See you later. I'm headed for Professor Moler's office right now."

I was finished for the day but had to wait for Larry and Eugene, so I went to the library. I checked out a couple pieces of music which I thought might be good to use at St. Anne's. There is a lot of good music that is simple enough for a small, untrained choir to do well. What they had been using was either just a hymn--nothing wrong with that, but hymns are for the congregation--or music much too ambitious for them and not what I would call good music at that. Having done that, I found a table near a window and sat working on an assignment from my math class. I had finished and took out a book to begin an assignment for another class but, before I started, I glanced out the window and saw two guys tossing a frisbee back and forth. I guess I was in a semi-conscious condition because suddenly they seemed to be two white knights engaged in some kind of match. In the back of my mind, I knew they were seeking to win me. It was really weird. I shook my head and looked out the window and, again, saw two guys tossing a frisbee.

Luke

I was really excited about the possibility of Matt and me being able to travel over the country the coming summer--together! When Paula got home, we looked at the schedule and saw that the two concert series were each a grand tour. When Matt got home he looked at the schedule and said, "Either series will take me to four grand cities. It's exciting, Luke, especially if we are together."

I scanned the schedule and faxed it to Uncle Michael. "Now we'll see what he can do with scheduling exhibitions. I think setting up and taking down an exhibition every week and being 'the artist' between putting up and taking down will be pretty demanding." "Yea, but it's months before we have to worry about that. Now it's Oberlin's demands we need to be worried about, but I do need to start selecting pieces for the audition tape and get to work on them as well. Anyway, I'm ready for tomorrow." I kissed Luke and said, "I picked up a couple books of works by Bach on my lunch hour today and am going to look them over and start selecting."

"I've got to practice with the combo, I suppose." I gave Matt a quick kiss and was out the door, right behind Eugene, Kent and Paula.

After the combo had its practice--we were working on some sixties and seventies stuff--I stayed in the studio. I just sat down, my head in my hands. I hadn't been inspired in ages. I had done a couple of decent paintings for the house, but definitely nothing I would put in an exhibition. I knew I had to get to work doing some really good stuff, but what? As I sat, I started thinking about a recurrent dream Paula had told me about, in which two knights did battle for her hand. What was that all about? As I sat thinking, suddenly a brainstorm took over. I knew I would be doing acrylics as water color but wasn't really sure of where I was headed. I grabbed a sketch book and started sketching furiously. "Yes!" I said to myself. "This will be worthy of an exhibition, definitely!"

When I got back to the house, Matt was still at the organ even though it was almost midnight. I walked up behind him, put my arms around him and rested my chin on the top of his head. "How's it coming, Dark Angel?"

Matt leaned his head back and I gave him a kiss. When we broke it, he said, "I think it's going ok, Luke. There is so much great music to choose from. Right now I just need to select pieces and work on them. I will ask my performance teacher for suggestions. I think she will be helpful. It's not that she dislikes Bach, she just wants to have me experience playing a wide range of music. How was the combo? Why didn't you come back with the rest?"

"One thing at a time, Dark Angel. The combo practice was ok, I guess. You know I'm not too good at deciding whether something is good or not. I tend to say, 'I like it' or 'I don't like it' and let it go at that. I really do like some of the old songs. I mean you can actually hear the words and they say something--at least most of the time."

"When the others left, I just sat thinking, hoping I would be inspired one way or another. I haven't done a decent work since I finished the exhibition in Concord and here I am supposed to come up with another one. As I sat, I had a sudden inspiration, but it'll have to be a secret for a while. I think it will really be something different and, I hope, good."

"Not even a hint, Bright Angel?"

"Not even a hint. Should you let something slip about it, we would be in real trouble--at least until, well, until it is finished. But, Matt, it's almost midnight. Think it's time we go beddy bye."

Matt slid of off the organ bench and, when he was standing, took me in his arms for a long, passionate kiss. "Think we might be awake a bit longer, Bright Angel," he said, and smiled. I wrapped an arm around him and we went upstairs, did the bathroom bit, made beautiful love and went to sleep happy, wrapped in each other's arms.

Chapter Ten

Luke

Our routine had been upset when the combo became a part of our lives, but we quickly settled into a new one. A part of my new routine was spending every free moment sketching and painting. I didn't know what broke the floodgates, but I was painting like mad these days. It seemed that, once I got started again, I couldn't keep up with the ideas that kept falling into my head. I started sketching and making notes on the edges of my class notes, the way I had done at Independence. I was almost finished with one work--the one inspired by Paula's dream. I kept it covered because I was sure it would be ok one day, but would get my ass in trouble if the wrong person saw it now. I was definitely on a roll. Painting, keeping up with school work and singing with the combo took every minute of time I had, but I was loving it--and was actually spending more time with Matt, just the two of us.

Our first gig almost didn't happen because it was for Friday night and Paula planned on going to synagogue. However, it turned out the gig started at 7:30 and was only a short distance from the synagogue, so Paula agreed to make it. Everything worked out pretty well. The woman who hired us had said she wanted love songs for a party and we had been on target with sixties and seventies tunes. The first thing I sang, with Paula, was "More" and when I finished, I couldn't believe the applause. I knew I wasn't that good, but I guess it was the right song for the right time. Strange, though, I got applause each time I sang.

We had asked if our friends could come toward the end of the party, and the hostess had said it was fine. Larry and Matt came in about 11:30. The hostess told them to help themselves to food and whatever they wanted. When the combo started again, Eugene--it was soon decided that Eugene should direct, a wise decision--winked at me and mouthed to the combo "More". I didn't have to close my eyes and imagine Matt, he was sitting almost in front of me. I sang, not for the party, not for the combo, but for Matt. His eyes sparkled and a smile covered his face. Before long he was mouthing the words with me. Paula didn't join in this time but I didn't need her support, I was singing to my beloved.

Saturday, after we played the party, we all slept in except Matt. His teacher was coming for his 9:30 class so he was up by 8:45. The rest of us slept until about 10:00. All except Matt were sitting around the kitchen table, drinking coffee or having cold cereal and fruit, when Kent said, "Look, it's going to be very cold around here soon. Today is a glorious fall day. It's not warm enough to get in the river, I suspect, but what say we take the day off and go out to the van Hooks'? It's been a while since we've seen them."

His suggestion met with immediate approval and we all started preparing a picnic, putting blankets in the Jeep and Eugene's car and getting ready to roll. Matt finished his class at 10:30 so we left the house about 11:30 and were soon at the van Hooks'. The two old people were delighted to see us and only put up what they considered a necessary protest against going to the river with us. Kent was right, the temperature and the water were both too cold to enjoy being in the river, although we all had to try it to be sure. We sat, talking to the van Hooks, listening to them tell stories of when they were young, what living on a farm in those years had been like, and of their sons when they were boys.

While the rest of the crew continued to talk with the van Hooks, I sat a short distance away, sketching like mad. The two old people's faces were an artist's dream. The lines and wrinkles told of both the hard times and the good times they had in their lives, There were definitely more smile than frown lines. Where we were was also perfect for doing a riverscape and for capturing my housemates in a different setting. I was having a grand time.

Mid-afternoon, we spread out the picnic. There was food enough for half a dozen more, I thought, but was to be proven wrong. Once again, Mr. and Mrs. van Hook protested that they were intruding on our party and would eat later. Paula said, "We intended to eat with you two and unless we can, we'll just have to go home.

Mrs. van Hook smiled and said, "You do know how to get your way, don't you, Paula dear?"

"Always," Paula replied.

Matt took out eight wine glasses and opened a couple bottles of good red wine, poured the glasses and handed one to each of the van Hooks. "Our parents have been giving us wine since we were kids," he said, "and we treat it with the respect that one of God's gifts deserves."

"I say 'Amen' to that," Mr. van Hook said, raised his glass and continued, "To six young people who give me great hope for the future."

Eugene raised his and said, "And to two elders who show us what love and commitment mean." Mrs. van Hook actually blushed, then leaned over and kissed Mr. van Hook on the cheek.

Too soon after we had finished eating, the temperature started dropping rather rapidly, so we packed everything up, took the van Hooks home and went back to our place. When we got there, everyone wanted to see my sketches and all exclaimed over them. They were just sketches, but I had another bushel of ideas from our afternoon as well as having had a marvelous time with friends and the van Hooks.

"You know," Larry said, "we need to make it a point to get out to see those people, the van Hooks. I know they have to get lonely out there by themselves."

"They do have friends around them. They have lived on the farm since the day they were married," Kent said, "but I think you are right. Most of the people they know are about their age and they never see any young people because, although their sons have married--both several times I think--and have kids, Mr. van Hook told me once he had only seen one grandson and him only twice when he was just a kid. So I think you're right, Larry, we need to go to see them, as much for our sakes as theirs."

"And we need to bring them here," Matt said. "They remember this place when it was in its heyday and I'm sure would like to see it now."

"I think we can all agree on that," Paula said. "I certainly enjoyed being with them this afternoon." That statement brought a general nodding of heads in approval.

When I went to the library to check my e-mail, I had a letter from Uncle Michael. He wrote he was making progress on getting the two schedules--mine and Matt's--for the summer together. "You know they can't always be together, but it looks as if you two will be in the same city well over half the time, regardless of whether Matt does July or August."

When I told Matt, he complained that everyone was making a pretty big assumption. "I am not at all sure I will be chosen, so don't plan on it."

"I'll plan on it and if you don't get one of the series, then you can travel with me," I told him.

Sunday morning dawned bright and beautiful, and the rising sun found all six of us running along the beach. For some reason, Paula had become a running fanatic and it was showing. "She is one beautiful woman. I wonder how long it will be before Kent presses the issue of not hitting on her? Were I straight, I think I'd find it hard to keep my eyes off her," Matt said to me.

"Well you're not, so I'm not worried."

When we got back to the house, there was a message on the machine from Michael. We called him and he told us about Christopher taking a nose-dive and how he, Danny and Mary Kathryn had done for him what Matt and I had done for Michael. "We'll be going back to school before Christopher and expect to help him get caught up on his school work. Seems Danny has been spending a great deal of time with Christopher. Man, you have never seen such a change in a person as there has been in Christopher."

There was no further news about who had been harassing Uncle Michael and Mr. Stevenson, but Millie had a lawyer working to clear Mr. Stevenson. "And Keith Lewis is doubly pissed," Michael said. "Not only is Mr. Stevenson his favorite teacher, but he has been slandered as well. His daddy says he will hire a lawyer to drop the axe on the people behind all the crap--if they can be found."

Mary Kathryn told us about Michael getting the package from Singing Sparrow just when it was needed. "That is as strange or stranger than what has happened to us before. Somehow or other, I guess we are in the middle of something we know very little about." We could only agree.

After we had all talked, using the speaker-phone, I talked to Mary Kathryn and Michael alone. They talked a great deal about the new Fellowship and then Michael said, "Luke, I'd hate to start something that isn't true, but it seems to me Jacob is spending an awful lot of time with Susan. They'd make a great couple, but I don't know what's happening between him and Paula."

"Nothing so far as I know, but there may be. I'll keep my ears open so we can pick up the pieces if we need to."

After church, we had lunch--nothing special today--and everyone went their own way. Eugene and Larry decided they would take the afternoon off and go to the Cleveland zoo. I told them Matt and I would take care of cleaning up so they could just go. After they left, Kent asked Paula if she'd like a drive in the country, since he was caught up on his school work, and she said she would. Matt had some school work to do for a composition class and then planned to work on selecting music for the audition tape. I went to the studio.

After working until four, I went back to the house and found Matt sitting on the floor in the family room with music books all over the place. "Making progress?" I asked.

"I guess," he replied. "There is just so much good stuff that it's hard picking what to use. I certainly need something which shows what I can do for the audition tape but, at the same time, it probably doesn't need to be a bunch of show-off pieces. Seems to me if they are going to compare everyone who applies, there should be set pieces and maybe one chosen by the contestant. Anyway, I'm ready for a break."

"How about a walk on the beach? The wind's up, so you'll need a jacket, but it's still beautiful outside."

As we walked along the beach, I told Matt what Michael had said about Jacob.

"I sure hate to think that he's letting things go too far before he shoots straight with Paula. I know people fall in and out of love, but I'd hate to have her blind-sided," Matt said.

"Yea, but maybe she'd welcome a break. I think she might."

"What do you mean? Why would she welcome a break?" Matt asked with a blank look on his face.

"I don't know, but I have a feeling there might be a spark there for Kent."

"Man, that could make life sticky around here."

"Yea, it could."

We talked about that a bit more and finally decided it was none of our business, at least until we needed to help Paula, if she ever needed help.

When we got back to the house, the answering machine light was flashing. I punched the button and heard, "Hello, kewl dudes, it's your warm dudes from Florida. What's the plans for Halloween? Give us a call." It was Douglas! I quickly found the address book, looked up his number and called him. When he answered the phone, I said, "Hello, warm dude this is your hot dude from the chilly north."

"Luke! Damn, it's good to hear your voice. What's going on up there?" I had switched on the speaker-phone so Matt and I could both talk, and we did! Douglas and Janet got in a good talk as well. Douglas' parents had done everything they could to get his marriage annulled, but without success. They had been so nasty to Janet that Douglas finally had had it and purchased a small condo on the east coast of Florida--"as far away from me as I could get"--and sent them packing. School was fine, both were having a grand time in school and at home. Married life suited both of them and I said the same was true for me and Matt.

Finally I asked, "To what do we owe this unexpected call?".

"Janet and I were just talking about your place there and saying what a great place it would be for a Halloween party. We finally decided we'd just fly up and have a party at your place. Think you jokers could arrange a good party?"

"Sure, but who are you inviting?"

"All the summer crowd and anybody else your kid brother wants to add. Parents and all. Yea, and Woody as well. Any friends you have there. You friends with any Yankees?" Douglas laughed.

"As a matter of fact, we have one living with us. Great guy," Matt said, and then told Douglas about Kent.

"Sounds like a real winner," Janet said. "Good looking? Hot? You two would know."

"Good looking in a rugged kind of way. Yea, I guess you'd say he's hot. And straight as they come," I replied.

"Doubt that the parents could make it since Halloween is Tuesday--they'll have to work. And Margaret will be within a few weeks of producing twins. Don't think the parents would allow the kids to take a week out of school to drive up and back. Good idea though," Matt told them.

"Hey, would I invite people to a party and not get them there? I've arranged all that. Private jet from Lexington to Cleveland. Let's see, there's Michael and Mary Kathryn, Bill and Linda, Jacob--they could come up right after school Friday.

"Think you might add a few more? Seems the Fellowship has grown back to full size," Matt said.

"Up to a dozen that trip."

"Well, there's a new girl, Susan, a couple new guys. Oh, and there are two others I know about."

"Up to a dozen. Then the old folks will get there Saturday. Everybody back home Wednesday morning--old folks first."

"Damn, Douglas, you're spending money like it's going out of style."

"Nah, not too much. The plane's a friend's who will be coming. Belongs to his dad and he says it's cleared for the trips. I'll foot the bill for fuel since the crew is drawing pay flying or sitting."

"Great! And we might have a little surprise for you in the music area. When are you two arriving?"

"Halloween's on Tuesday, so we'll get there Thursday night before at the latest. And, hey, if some of the Concord crowd can get away Thursday night, we'll pick them up."

We talked some more and then Douglas said, "Man, we are going to have a party! Talk to you later."

I hung up the phone, looked at Matt and asked, "Can you believe that? Ferrying people from North Carolina to Ohio for a party."

Matt laughed, "Yea, sounds like Douglas. But you know what he is really doing, along with having a good time, is getting his family together. Our family is all the real family he and Janet have or have known. But, YES, we are going to have a party!"

Matt and I decided we'd prepare dinner since the others had not returned. We had a grand time in the kitchen, cooking and making out at the same time. Matt had decided it was cookie-making time and, before I knew it, the kitchen was full of delicious aromas and the kitchen table loaded with cookies. Lunch had been simple, so I decided we should have a real Sunday dinner and I had put on a nice roast and prepared vegetables, started potatoes for mashing--I asked Matt to make the gravy, I'm not very good at that--and made a salad to go with it. The last pan of cookies was just coming out of the oven when Larry and Eugene came in.

They had stopped by a bakery and picked up some great-looking rolls. "Thought we'd have rolls for supper, I guess," Eugene laughed. "And picked up some real butter to go with them."

"If you and Larry will set the table, we'll have them with some roast, mashed potatoes with gravy, veggies and salad," I said.

"And keep your hands out of the cookies. You'll ruin your dinner," Matt said in his nagging-mother voice. Both guys had grabbed a handful of cookies as soon as they put the rolls down.

"Where's Kent and Paula?" Larry asked.

"They went for a drive in the country," I answered.

"I smell romance there," Eugene said.

"Get serious," Matt said. "Paula's got a beau."

"Yea, she does, but I smell a romance brewing," Eugene reiterated.

"Man, I hope not," Larry said. "Jacob would be to bury and things might get real sticky around here."

The two guys set the table and we were all sitting in the kitchen having a glass of juice when Kent and Paula walked in. I guess it was because of what I had thought and Eugene had said, but Paula seemed to be all aglow. She was carrying an armload of beautiful asters of all colors. Bingo! Definitely another painting if I can keep it fixed in my mind. Kent was carrying a basket of apples, all colors of reds and greens. Yet another painting.

"Decided to buy out a roadside stand," Kent laughed. "It reminded me that we probably have a few apples of our own. I noticed some were ready for picking last Sunday."

"Will you two stand right there for a minute?" I asked and, when they nodded, ran upstairs, got my camera and took a couple quick shots. Both were obviously happy, but their expressions were not as good and relaxed as the ones they had when they walked in the door. The photos would help jog my memory.

"You guys doing dinner?" Paula asked.

"Yea, thought we'd have a good, hot meal waiting for those who had risked the great Western Reserve wilderness to bring us flowers and apples," Matt laughed.

"Will someone help me with these flowers?" Paula asked. "We brought piles in ice cream buckets, which will hold them until I can arrange them, but these need to be put in water."

We found a container, filled it with water and put the flowers Paula had in her arms in it. Paula selected a dozen or so and made a beautiful arrangement for the dining room.

I can't remember when the six of us had such a light-hearted dinner. It was amazing what a day off had done for all of us. Of course, Matt and I really hadn't taken time off, but then we were doing what we loved.

Eugene and Larry had a hilarious story about two chimps who got it on big time, and mothers were trying to get their little kids away, shushing their questions and comments. Larry and Eugene ended up role-playing a couple of scenes and we were all in stitches.

When we got control of ourselves, Kent and Paula talked about their drive into the country. "We passed all kinds of roadside stands," Paula said. "All of them had piles of pumpkins but when we passed one with apples, Kent had to stop and, once we started picking out apples, we got a bit carried away. Those we brought in are just a sample. We'll be eating apples a long time!" Paula laughed. "Then when we saw the stand with the asters, I asked Kent if we could stop and get a few. When we stopped, I couldn't decide which ones I liked best and Kent just kept buying any I liked and finally asked the lady in the stand about buying them all. She smiled, said as soon as they all were sold she'd be finished and could go home and watch TV. 'You're such a sweet couple,' she said, 'you can have them all for five dollars.' Kent handed her a five and she had those five-gallon fiber ice cream buckets with the asters in them and just handed us asters, buckets and all. The ones I brought in were just those I had picked out before Kent bought them all."

Paula had obviously had a wonderful afternoon and when I glanced at Kent, he had a grand smile on his face. His eyes were sparkling and he was definitely focused on Paula. Yep, there was something going on here!

After we finished dinner, Matt said, in a pretty terrible British accent, "If the lady and gentlemen will adjourn to the drawing room, coffee and cookies will be served and Milord Luke will make an important announcement."

Eugene offered his arm to Larry, as Kent did his to Paula, and the four went to the library. Luke and I prepared coffee and a plate of cookies, and took them to the library where we served the four as if they were royalty. "Milords and milady, the King of Hearts, Luke the absolute first," Matt said as he bowed to me then came and sat at my feet.

"Loyal subjects, Douglas, Duke of Sarasota, and his Duchess Janet have decreed that this royal house will host a Halloween party. Further, the Duke and Duchess have arranged a magic carpet ride for Prince Michael and Princess Mary Kathryn of Concord."

The four were laughing so hard they all had tears in their eyes. Every time one or the other would try to say something, there would be a new outbreak of laughter. Finally Paula got control enough to say, "Ok, what's up?".

"When Matt and I got back from a walk on the beach this afternoon, there was a message from Douglas asking that we call. We did, and had a great talk with him and Janet. They had decided that this house would be great for a Halloween party and essentially said we were having one."

We had to stop and tell Kent about Douglas and Janet. After Kent had his questions answered, Matt said, "Yea, and just get this: He's got a friend who is supplying a jet to pick up people in Concord and fly them up for the party! And that includes all the new members of the Fellowship--Keith, Jack and Susan--I made sure I was looking sideways at Paula when I said that. "Oh, and Danny and Christopher as well. Any who can get away Thursday after school will come up with Douglas and Janet if there's enough to warrant the stop. I know that will include Millie. The plane will pick up any other student types Friday after school--and parents who can stay over if there's room, otherwise parents will arrive Saturday. The plane will take people back Wednesday."

"A private jet? What kind of money does Douglas have?" Kent asked, amazed.

"He's got tons, but a friend's father has the jet and Douglas said the crew gets paid flying or sitting, so it's only cost Douglas fuel. Of course that would be enough to keep us freeloading a year, I suspect," I replied.

"I'm really glad Jacob is coming. I want very much to talk with him," Paula said.

"Just talk?" Larry asked.

"Yea, just talk. I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you guys. Jacob and I are no longer a couple. No earth-shaking something caused it. And I know it seems awfully sudden since we were such a hot number a couple months ago, but it soon became obvious when we were separated that what we thought was love was... gee, I don't know what it was. I think both of us saw everyone else coupled up, and we were two left shoes, so we just naturally drifted together. Hey, don't get me wrong. I loved every minute of it, regret not a second of our time together but, once we were parted, I guess we had time to sort things out. I noticed a few weeks after Jacob went back that our letters--e-mail--talked about school, what we were doing, what our friends were doing, new people on the scene, that sort of thing. When he first went back, our letters were real mush notes but gradually they became letters between good friends."

"I finally decided we needed to face what our relationship really was, and asked Jacob why he thought our letters were no longer burning cyberspace. He said, 'Friends' letters don't burn cyberspace, do they?'. I can't tell you how relieved I was that it was mutual. I suspect we are one in ten thousand, because we are still friends--good friends, solid friends. We still write each other and enjoy it because we don't have to pretend something is there which isn't."

"Wow! What a bombshell, Paula," Larry exclaimed. "You're sure you are still friends?"

"Jacob is the second best friend I have," Paula answered. "And as to who's on first, you'll just have to guess."

"Ok, Paula, you can play coy if you want to, but we are not blind," I said. "I saw you walk in the house today, loaded down with flowers looking happier than I have ever seen you, even when you were being hot stuff with Jacob." Paula and Kent both blushed big time. "And I think that blush means we abolish the 'no hitting on Paula' rule."

"Wait a minute!" Kent cried. "I have kept my word. I have not hit on Paula." His sparkling eyes kinda gave him away, but he added, "I didn't have to!" and laughed.

"Look, guys, I know this kinda poses a sticky question. I mean, yes, I think Kent and I see more in each other than we ever thought we would, but one reason we went into the country today was to try to untangle what we didn't know existed a week or so ago. I think we both just kinda woke up one morning, came to breakfast and found a new person at the table. Kent has just had a bit of a bad time with Christine and I had a hell of a time with Sheldon then fell for Jacob, bless his heart, without really taking time see what was going on inside either of us. So, guys, it's slow and easy. I told Kent I had known him for such a very short time, and I had been mistaken about my real feeling for Jacob whom I had known much longer."

"Then I pointed out to Paula that she had been with Jacob very little over a longer period and she had seen me every day, in good moods and bad, so she probably knows me better than she knows Jacob..."

"But she's seen more of Jacob, I bet!" Larry laughed. "They are champion skinny-dippers."

"Yea and she's slept with him--just slept--but still was mistaken about her feelings, as was Jacob. So I'm not pushing because, if there is to be something serious between us, we both want to be sure."

"Do I hear you saying you'll still sleep downstairs?" Matt asked.

"At least for the time being, Matthew Sarang Hanun Pomul Silver Wolf Greywolf."

"Just wanted to be clear, Ms. Wright."

"By the way, you might be interested to know that Jacob is still going to synagogue. Says he's found a home there," Paula said.

"Does that mean Kent has to go to synagogue?" I asked, half-joking.

"Doesn't mean anything other than the fact that Jacob is still going to synagogue and, I might add, his present girl friend is Jewish. He seems to have a thing for Jewish women."

"And she is?"

"I thought you knew or had figured it out. It's Susan who is a part of the Fellowship now. She has to be a great gal for Jacob to fall for her and to be a part of the Fellowship."

"I guess we'll find out because WE'RE HAVING A PARTY!" Matt shouted, and did a little dance around the room.

"I guess I know what a lot of our house meetings will be dealing with for the next couple weeks," Kent said.

We had finished our coffee and cookies, and I think everyone was really feeling great. I know I really felt relieved that Paula and Jacob had parted friends, good friends. It so seldom happens. We all took our coffee cups to the kitchen. As I sat mine down, I asked, "Kent, Paula, would you be willing to model for me a while? I got a photo of the two of you coming in this afternoon--and, by the way, suspected something was going on between you two--but I'd like to get some sketches. Would you do that for me?"

"After we clean up from dinner," Kent said. "You and Matt took care of dinner. The least we can do is clean up."

"Gene and I will do that," Larry said. "You go ahead and get yourselves immortalized. And, by the way, I am also happy for you two and for Jacob. Think it's wonderful."

"Thanks," Paula and Kent said.

Matt

"Before we go to the studio, we need to bring the apples in from the truck. They need to be put in the cellar where it is cool," Kent said. "And we need to take a look at our own orchard this week. How about having our very own apples for bobbing for Halloween? That will be something even Douglas couldn't do."

The five guys went to the truck and each got a box of apples and took them to the cellar. We had very seldom gone to the cellar--we called it a basement at home but, I guess, in Ohio it's a cellar--since it was essentially empty except for the furnace and water heater. After we had the apple boxes on a storage shelf, Kent said, "This reminds me. We need to have the furnace checked. Actually, it should have been checked before it was started. I'll take care of that tomorrow because we have already had some pretty cool mornings and we frequently have snow in October."

When we got back upstairs, Larry and Eugene went to the kitchen to clean up. Kent got his basket of apples and Paula her flowers, and they went with Luke. I went back to the family room and started sweating over selecting music again. My performance teacher had suggested that while I should certainly use power pieces for the tape, I should also include one piece which she called "pretty Bach". "You might even use 'Sheep May Safely Graze'. It's good music, just a bit overdone. But definitely one pretty piece. Think about 'Come Sweet Death', that's a nice, pretty piece--especially the Virgil Fox arrangement." I finally decided on four pieces which I would talk over with Professor Moler: "Toccata, Adagio and Fugue in C", "Passacaglia and Fugue in C Minor", "Fantasie and Fugue in A" and the Virgil Fox arrangement of "Come Sweet Death", and if more was needed for the tape, I'd surely do "Sheep May Safely Graze".

Having made my decision, I resolved not to try to second guess myself. I would talk with Professor Moler but, unless he had other suggestions, that was it. Three "heavy" pieces and one "pretty" one. I thought these were pretty good selections and I would expect to use them for the series, should I luck out and be chosen which, frankly, I still felt was unlikely. I knew I was good--damn good, to use Luke's terminology--but I also knew I was young and just starting, and I was sure there were plenty older, more experienced organists who would try for the series and who were better than I. But it was good to be asked to compete and I intended to give it my best.

I felt as if it was midnight at least but, when I looked at my watch, I was surprised to discover it was not quite ten o'clock. Luke wasn't back, so I decided I might as well get started on the pieces. I switched on the recorder so I could listen to myself to see where I needed to work hardest, and started working on "Come Sweet Death". It was a piece I had played--not really often, but not infrequently either--and I was sure I had allowed mistakes to creep in. When that happens, it is harder to re-learn to play it correctly than to learn it fresh. I played through the piece twice, then played back the tape. Yep, I had goofed a few times and I knew they were not new goofs, but mistakes which were etched in my brain. Hard work ahead on a "sweet" piece!

As I listened to the recording, I marked my music where I, like Handel's sheep, had gone astray, then I played the piece again, paying attention to my markings. Sure enough, I discovered what I already knew, unlearning is a lot harder than learning. Half an hour later I was growing very frustrated with myself and decided it was time to play something else. I spent a good while working on the Toccata part of the "Toccata, Adagio and Fugue" and was finally getting it close to right when I heard the front door open. I walked into the hall in time to see Paula and Kent come in, she still carrying her flowers and he his basket of apples. The two were holding hands and I thought to myself, "That's just as it should be". Luke was right behind them. As he came in he said, "Know it's kinda late, Matt, but would you like to join us for coffee? We decided we needed a cup."

"Sure. I'm ready to stop for the night anyway." Luke put coffee on and the four of us sat at the kitchen table, talking.

"Kent, Paula, just want you two to know that when you walked in the door this afternoon, I was sure there was something different about you two. Luke and Eugene had said there was a romance brewing between you, but Larry and I didn't believe it. Then you walked through the door and I knew they were right. I'm really glad for you and really pleased, Paula, that you and Jacob came out of your time together friends. You and Kent make a great couple."

"Thanks, Matt. I, too, am glad that Jacob and I are still friends. I said he's my second best. I think Kent is my best friend. And for right now, it's pretty much going to stay that way. This time I have to be sure, real sure."

"Kent?"

"Hey, I'm really new at all this and I am delighted for us to take all the time we need. I haven't even kissed Paula yet but, I can tell you, I have never had as much fun--that doesn't sound like what I mean--as good and as happy a time as I did this afternoon. And we did nothing special except enjoy being together on a beautiful October Sunday."

With the romance out of the way, we did some talking about a Halloween party and an influx of guests. "We're going to have to do some serious planning about sleeping arrangements," Paula said. "Don't think sleeping outdoors in tents will cut it the last of October in Ohio."

"Not unless you have some heavy-duty sleeping bags. It can get real nasty and cold," Kent said.

"Well we do have the day beds on the sun porch. I noticed there are gas wall heaters out there, so I guess it could be heated enough for sleeping. And the studio is heated and divided into two rooms, so that's two more places," Luke said. "And I suspect we'll just have to do some doubling up."

"Sure, it's a house party and we'll manage," Paula said, "We'll just have to do some planning. And we do have the sleeping bags and foam pads for them we used in the tents. Those can easily be put on the floor for sleeping and taken up during the day. We'll manage. But if I don't get to bed now, I'll not manage tomorrow." She got up, as did Kent and, as they walked out of the kitchen, Paula looked back over her shoulder and said, "By the way, I think you all need to know the blue and silver knight won".

"As if I didn't know before," Luke laughed.

"You know you could have been killed for that," Paula called back from the hall.

"What did she mean?" I asked Luke.

"Come on," he said, taking my hand and walking toward the front door.

"Where are we going?"

"To the studio."

Once in the studio, Luke showed me a long canvas divided into a series of panels. It was done in water color style and clearly told a fairy tale about a beautiful princess and two knights. It was a really delicate and beautiful piece. I didn't have to look too closely to see that the beautiful princess was Paula and the two knights, bowing to her after the blue and silver knight had won her hand, were Kent and Jacob.

"You knew all along," I exclaimed.

"Yea, I knew as soon as Paula told me about her recurring dream. Of course, it helped that Mary Kathryn had said in an e-mail that she thought Jacob and Paula were drifting apart because Jacob didn't mention her very often of late. Yea, the entrance this afternoon was no surprise. It's the artist's eye, you know."

Later, as we lay in bed cuddling, I said, "I'm really glad we didn't have to get to know each other and think we were really in love and all that stuff."

"We did, Matt. It took us almost eighteen years. Our love had been tried by fire before we found we were each loved by the other. Then our love was old stuff, well-aged and solid."

"And we still had a bit of a rough time."

"Yea, but now I've got you, Babe."

"Are you going Sonny and Cher on me?"

"Nope, I'm going Luke and Matt on us." Luke kissed me softly and gently, wrapped me in his arms, lay his head over my heart, and we both were asleep in minutes.

Chapter Eleven

Luke

Monday dawned cold, windy, with a leaden sky. It was the kind of morning which makes me want to just stay in bed, but I had to get up and get moving. I leaned over and gave my Dark Angel a butterfly kiss. It was so soft I didn't think it would wake him, but it did. He opened his black almond eyes, looked at me, and a smile spread across his face--a smile which melted me every time I saw it. "Good morning, Sarang Hanun Pomul, my dark angel," I said.

"Good morning, Yonghon Tongmu, my bright angel," Matt replied. He reached up, put his hands behind my head and pulled me to himself, planting a special Matt kiss on my lips. He continued smiling after he broke the kiss and said, "Luke, are we running today?".

To tell the truth, I had decided I'd pass up the morning run, but the thoughts of racing through the gray morning with Matt beside me changed my mind. "Sure we are. Just because it's a dirty dishwater day doesn't mean we give up our run." I kissed Matt again, went to the bathroom, came back and dressed in sweats. Matt was a little slower getting dressed, but we were finally ready.

When we got downstairs, Kent was knocking on Paula's door. "You guys going for a run?" he asked.

"Yea. You?" I answered.

"I wanted to run with Paula, but she seems to be hibernating this morning."

"I'm what?" Paula asked as she came from her room.

"You are one beautiful woman, that's what you are," Kent responded.

Paula stood on tiptoes and kissed Kent on the cheek. "You keep that up and one day you may earn a real kiss," she laughed. "Well are you jokers ready to run?"

"Now that Lady Late is here, we are," Matt said. When we got down to the beach, Larry and Eugene were already there, doing stretching exercises.

"Thought you all had decided to sleep in," Eugene said.

"We were waiting on Paula. Seems she's always late," Matt said. Paula gave him a slap on the butt and took off running. Chasing her were five men. I laughed to myself when I thought about what anyone seeing us might have thought.

The morning was raw and I knew that the next time I came out for a run, I would have to give more thought to what I wore. We ran down the beach about a mile, then turned and ran toward the house. It was entirely too cold to use the outdoor shower. As we passed it Kent said, "By the way, I turned off the water to the outdoor shower last week. I was afraid we'd forget it and have frozen pipes."

"You'll probably have to remind us of a lot of things we either never had to think about or someone did for us. Know things are different here," I responded.

"I'll take care of having the furnace checked today. If you have no-one in mind, I'll call the man that does Dad's."

"Go ahead, we know no-one here," Eugene said.

"Also, if you don't have them, you better get gloves to wear when you run. The cold can really do a job on your hands and face. You'll need to make sure you use a lot of lotion on your face or get a ski cap."

After breakfast we all went our way, starting the last week before the big party weekend.

By Wednesday we were all hyper, anticipating the arrival of the crew Thursday evening. There was no way we could get all twelve of those arriving in our three vehicles. We debated having just one driver in the cars and truck go to pick up everyone, but we all wanted to be there so we made arrangements to rent a mini-bus. It wasn't easy because none of us was twenty-one, but we finally found a local company and rented one for Thursday afternoon through Saturday and again Tuesday evening through Wednesday to take everyone back to the airport.

We had worked hard making sure everything was in tip-top shape. The house looked great--we still had ice cream buckets of asters, as well as several arrangements in the house which looked good for the most part, and would take just a little work to get back to first-class shape. The pantry was well stocked and the grounds had been carefully groomed. We had piles and piles of leaves, as well as the flowers killed by frost, which we took to the compost bins. Matt, Kent and I had done massive amounts of cooking of food which could be prepared ahead.

Wednesday night, Jacob called to tell us his cousin Rachel would be coming Friday with Jack. "We'll all be there Thursday night, so have a place for us and plenty of food. Michael talked to Douglas and he thinks we will be landing about 8:30. He said he'd call you to find out how long it would take you to get to the airport. He will also call from the plane to give you our arrival time."

We realized we hadn't worked out sleeping arrangements so we set to work on that. It took a while, but we finally came up with a workable arrangement. "Thursday night we can all stay in the house," I said, "then, when the others arrive, we'll go with the arrangement we've worked out.

"That means a major bed linen wash Friday. Can we handle that?" Paula asked.

"Don't see why not," Larry said. "We can start a load when we get up. It can be in the dryer by the time we leave for class and another load in the washer. First one back starts the next cycle."

Finally we were as prepared as we would ever be, except for some last-minute things. Matt had made arrangements to leave Holtkamp at noon and not show up Tuesday. Everyone would be at the house by 3:00 Thursday and I would have picked up the van and any more pads and sleeping bags we needed.

We were through planning by 9:30 and everyone went off to prepare for class. We were all back downstairs at 11:30 having a snack. No-one would admit it, but we were all as excited as kids at Christmas.

It seemed Thursday would never be over. I did my classes, then Matt picked me up and we went to get the mini-bus. When we got home, Kent was already busy in the kitchen. Michael had said the Concord crew would leave directly from school for Lexington, and there would be no time to eat until they arrived. "By the way, I passed a roadside stand and bought some great pumpkins..."

"You actually bought the Great Pumpkin?" I laughed.

"Well, they all looked like the Great Pumpkin to me, so maybe I got fooled, but I'm sure we have him and he can't make his trip to take presents to kids this year," Kent laughed in response. "We can have pumpkin pies and some great jack-o-lanterns."*

"I'll pass on the pumpkin pie," Matt said. "I asked Mom to bring some sweet potatoes. Sweet potato pie is what I like. Also asked her to bring some real corn meal. This Yankee stuff is for the birds."

"Always heard you could take the boy out of the south, but couldn't take the south out of the boy," Kent laughed.

"Darn tootin'," Matt replied.

Shortly after we had started work in the kitchen, a man in work clothes came up from the cellar.

"Checked the furnace, and the water heater is installed. You should have plenty of hot water now," he said. "Here's the bill," he said, handing Kent a sheet of paper. "Thanks for the business, Kent."

"Sure thing. Can you show yourself out?"

"No problem," he said and left.

"What's this about a water heater?" Matt asked. "We haven't talked about a water heater. Something go wrong with the old one?"

"No, it's working fine. It's just that we run out of hot water pretty frequently when we all take showers so, when I called about the furnace, I checked about a water heater and was told they were on sale so I had a second one put in. Is there a problem with that?"

"I guess not, but it's a big item and I think we should have discussed it first," Matt said.

"It's not that expensive and we definitely needed it," Kent said.

"No doubt you are right, but we can't just go making decisions on our own when that much money is involved."

"Well I expect to pay my part."

"Kent, you don't have a part," I said. "A second water heater has been added to the house. You can't pay part of that because it becomes part of the house."

"I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds," Kent replied, "but I thought, since we could get one for half price, this was a good time to get it and have it put in when we are going to have two dozen extra people this weekend. I'll remember to check things out with the house before making a large purchase again."

"Please do, otherwise eventually you will buy something which will cause a lot of hard feelings," Matt said. "I'll admit I am kinda put out this time that you just assumed you could make such a large purchase without asking."

"I said I'm sorry and that I won't do it again. What more can I do other than offer to pay for the water heater? I suppose I could over time, but you know I can't just pay for it outright," Kent replied.

"Hold it right there," I said emphatically, "before this thing gets out of hand and feelings get hurt. Look, Kent, you did something you thought needed doing because it could be done at half price. Matt, you have pointed out that Kent should have checked with the house before making a major purchase. Kent has acknowledged he overstepped his bounds and realizes he must check with the house in the future. Matt, you have pointed out it upset you. We three have witnessed all that. Now don't you think it is time to drop it? Matt?"

"Kent, I'm sorry. I should have just let it go, but I... Kent, I'm sorry," Matt said and extended his hand.

I was very surprised when Kent didn't shake Matt's hand, but used it to pull Matt to himself. As he hugged Matt, he said, "Matt, I was afraid a water heater was going to get both of us so angry we'd say something we'd regret. I would never want anything to come between us. So far as I am concerned, you are all my brothers and sister. A little family fuss now and then I can take, but I certainly don't want anything to come between us that is serious."

I saw Matt hug Kent as he said, "Sorry, Bro, just got up on the wrong side of the bed I guess. No damage done."

I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that Matt has a bit of a temper and I thought he could and maybe would do some permanent damage to his relationship to Kent. I relaxed when they hugged each other. I knew that Matt couldn't resist anyone who gave him a hug. He's a real teddy bear. That's one thing I loved about him. Hell, truth be told, I love everything about my Sarang Hanun Pomul.

The three of us prepared a lot of food so we wouldn't have to spend all the time in the kitchen while the guests were with us. We had a great supper planned for when the folks arrived since they, and we for that matter, would not have eaten since lunch.

Paula came in the kitchen from the butler's pantry carrying a basket full of vases. "I can't believe how long the asters have lasted," she said. "Even most of the ones we left in the ice cream buckets are still pretty. I have re-done all the arrangements and still have bunches to use. Do you guys want arrangements in your rooms? Larry and Eugene did."

"Sure," I answered.

"Yea, sure," Kent said.

"What are Larry and Eugene up to anyway?" I asked.

"They are both busily engaged in creating the perfect jack-o-lantern. You'd never know they adore each other if you saw the competition," she laughed.

"We all need to get in on that," Kent said. "I bought seven pumpkins so we each could carve one and have one for pies. How much more do we have to do in the kitchen?"

"I have a little cleaning up to do. I think that's it. We all need to remember to listen for the buzzer when the apple pies are done," Matt said. "I forget and burn stuff."

"Set your watch to alarm as well," Kent said. "Man, Luke, that fresh bread smells heavenly."

"Sure does," Paula said. "I guess I can do the other arrangements later and get in on this pumpkin-carving competition."

We joined Larry and Eugene who were busily working on two huge pumpkins. "How's it going, fellows?" Kent asked.

"Fine," Larry said, "At least mine is. I think Eugene is just making a mess."

"We'll see about that when we are finished," Eugene said. "Larry thinks he has talent for this, but I'm not sure. I'm afraid he's going to cut himself."

"Sounds like a little family feud going on here," Kent said.

The four of us who had been busy elsewhere got a pumpkin and started work. "This looks a lot easier than it is," Matt said.

We were all doing serious work and talk was at a minimum when, suddenly, Kent said, "Guys and Paula, I made a major boo-boo and need to tell you about it". I started to stop him but thought better of it. If anyone was going to be as upset about Kent's purchase of the water heater as Matt, it was better to get it over with. "I called to get the furnace checked and, when I did, remembered we ran out of hot water frequently. I asked about a water heater and was told they were on sale. I could get a second one installed for half price so I had it done. When I told Matt and Luke about it, Matt reminded me that such a large purchase should be something we discussed in a house meeting before doing it. I wasn't thinking. Well I was. I was thinking about adding two dozen people this weekend and knew we'd run very short of hot water. I wasn't thinking about us being in this together. I'm sorry."

"Adding a second water heater is a very good idea," Eugene said, "but you're right. We can't have people just running around making decisions on their own, especially when it is something as expensive as a hot water heater."

"Yea, we could get ourselves in a real bind doing that," Larry added.

"Look, Matt was very upset when Kent told him about it, but the air got cleared and Kent understands why it is something that we just can't have happen again. So we're all still friends, right?" I asked.

"Right," Eugene said and we all agreed. "And I know we will appreciate it this weekend."

We were carving in silence when Matt's watch alarm went off. "Time for the apple pies to come out," he said, as he jumped up. When he came back he joined us carving again. In a short while the six jack-o-lanterns were finished.

"Look at that," Paula said, "all of the jack-o-lanterns are pretty standard except Luke's. Ever the artist, Luke, I see you have carved six faces on yours, some of the cuts only partially through the pumpkin. In the light the characters are obviously the six of us. Later when it is dark, I bet the faces will glow. Those faces will still be recognizable in the dark. That one goes on the table as a centerpiece," she said. "Which reminds me, I still have flower arrangements to finish. Is that all that still has to be done?"

"I think so," I said. We had been carving pumpkins on the sun porch and it had gotten dark before we finished. Four of the jack-o-lanterns were put on the front steps and the fifth put at the end of the front walk. Larry put votive candles in them and they were cheerful looking. Paula had me take mine to the dining table, where she did an arrangement around it.

Everything ready, we all gathered around the kitchen table for milk and some of Matt's cookies. We had just sat down when the phone rang. Larry grabbed it and said, "Oberlin five Case one"--he had started answering the phone that way after Kent had kidded us about Oberlin's losses on the athletic field--losses always, regardless of the sport. Kent generally answered, "Case first, Oberlin fifth". "Gotcha. We're on our way." When he hung up the phone he said, "That was Douglas. They will be landing in forty-five minutes. It will take us thirty minutes to get to the airport." As he was speaking, we all cleaned up from our snack and, that done, piled into the mini-bus.

The small airport where the plane would be landing was on our side of Cleveland and practically a straight shot from the house. Even though it was rush hour in Cleveland, the traffic on the way to the airport was light. We actually made the airport with time to spare. It was pretty windy and cold, so we stayed in the terminal while watching the runway through a large plate-glass window. There was no traffic at the airport since it was used primarily for corporate jets, and business people generally do not leave at night. Before we heard the plane, we saw its lights. Soon it touched down on the runway. I didn't know what I expected, but this was not a tiny plane.

As soon as it was stopped and the hatch opened, we rushed out on the tarmac. There was much hugging going on and, finally, Jacob introduced everyone except one guy. Douglas introduced Marc. I was totally and completely committed to Matt and I knew he is the most beautiful and handsome man in the world, but I had to acknowledge that Marc ran him a very close second. He was one good-looking hunk.

Paula

It was very good to see the folks from Concord. I had wondered how I would react to seeing Jacob, especially seeing him with a girl. I was actually surprised when he came off the plane and walked down the ramp holding hands with a beautiful young woman. I was surprised because I was glad to see him the way I was the rest of the crew--no more, no less. Jacob introduced Susan to us, but I knew her somewhat already because she attended temple in Lexington. Actually the only one, other than Marc, I didn't know somewhat was Chris.

When we got back to the house, everyone was really ready to eat. Eugene took the visitors on a tour of the house while the final preparations for dinner were done. The meal was great and we kept talking until we had been at the table two hours. After dinner we continued talking, catching up, until Matt reminded us we had classes the following day.

Susan, Linda and Rachel shared my room. Linda chose to share my bed, the other two slept on the floor in sleeping bags. Linda asked how I felt when I saw Jacob. I was sure Susan was all ears on that one. I told Linda it was the same as seeing the rest of the crew. "He is an old and good friend and I am delighted to see him, of course. That's it. In spite of how much Jacob and I thought we were in love, it was nothing like my feeling for Kent. But after thinking I was so in love with Jacob, Kent and I are taking it slow and easy--but I can tell you, I adore the guy. He is good and kind and thoughtful. Not that Jacob wasn't, but it's different somehow with Kent." There was a little more talk about things, then I slipped off to sleep.

Michael

I snuggled down in my sleeping bag and lay awake, thinking about how great it was to be with my brothers again. "Matt, Luke, I was just thinking how great it is to be with my brothers again. Most of the time I don't think about missing you two, but there are times when I'd give anything to have you around."

"Michael, you are surely missed as well. We are so busy there's not much time for getting homesick and missing the family, but when I do, I really do," Matt said. "Of course, I guess I may as well get used to it since it will be a while before we are all together again, if ever."

"Yea, same here," Luke added. "So how's things with you and my baby sister?" he asked.

I was kinda dreading that question, but I was sure it would come sooner or later. Just what did I want to tell my brothers and how much did I want to keep secret? I wasn't sure. For the first time in my life, I wasn't sure I could trust them, especially Luke. After all, Mary Kathryn was his baby sister and to his mind, I suspect, really a baby sister--not the grown woman all the rest of the world saw.

"Are you two still virgins?" Luke asked, and pretty much made the decision one of telling the truth or lying, and I had never really lied to either Matt or Luke. At the same time, was this any of their business?

I decided to be honest and answer truthfully. "Not hardly, Luke."

"You have been fucking my baby sister?" Luke sounded angry.

"Hell no. You know better than that! But we have taken the boundaries away from our love-making," I answered in what I hoped was a very manly voice.

"Good. So long as you know what you are doing and not doing. Mom and Dad know?"

"Are you kidding? As Greywolf said the other evening, if I'm not careful, I will have a Danish troll after me. Mary Kathryn is sure her mom knows and I think she's right. Mom and Dad know. They wished we hadn't, but they haven't make a big fuss over it. Well, Dad did." I then told my brothers about our scare and how Dad had reacted.

"Damn, you are young," Luke said, "and, unlike Matt and me, you have a long time before you can be together."

"Yea, we talked about that when I asked Mary Kathryn to marry me."

"You asked Mary Kathryn to marry you?" Matt asked. "When? I mean when are you planning on getting married?"

"I hope while we are in college. I have another year of high school and four years of college and three of seminary. That's eight years before we could be married unless we can get married before. I don't want to wait that long."

"Yea, I can understand that," Matt said. "So was your first time special?"

"Every time is special, Matt, every single time. We don't get a chance too often. It was ages from the first time to the next, but Jens and Gabrielle were away last weekend and we took advantage of that. But we don't have to have sex to make love and enjoy being with each other. We don't get a whole lot of chances just to be together these days." I then told them about all we were involved in.

We talked about that for a while and then Matt said, "I'd like to go on all night, but I have a class in the morning at 9:30 so I better get to sleep. It's 2:00 in the morning. Goodnight, Lil' Bro."

"Goodnight Luke, goodnight Big Bro," I responded. Yes, it was great being with my brothers again.

The next thing I knew, Matt and Luke were tugging at my sleeping bag. "Holy shit, brothers, what's going on?"

"It's time for a run," Matt answered. "Grab a pair of my sweats and get dressed. We'll meet you downstairs."

When I got downstairs, the whole Oberlin crew was dressed in sweats, as was most of the Concord crew. Susan and Rachel had decided to sleep in, as had Jack--which was probably just as well because I was sure the supply of sweats was exhausted. Chris was getting into shape rapidly. Of course, he had a long way to go, but he was working out every day after school and I guess running as well. He and Dan were holding hands and I was surprised when Dan kissed Chris. Of course they were just doing what the rest of us was doing.

We ran about a mile down the beach. It was colder than it would have been in Concord, but not terribly cold, thank goodness. About half-way back, the bunch slowed to a fast walk and the couples were all holding hands and managing a walking kiss from time to time. It was great to be together again and to have some really great new faces.

Marc caught up with me and Mary Kathryn and said, "I was surprised when Douglas asked if I wanted to run this morning. I was even more surprised when almost everybody turned out for a run. Man, I really wish I was a part of something like this bunch. It's great."

"Yea, it is," Mary Kathryn said, "but we need reminding of that every now and then. We tend to think the rest of the world is like our families and the Fellowship."

"I'm here to tell you, it's not. Race you, Michael," Marc said, and immediately started running.

He was good, and I still had a bit of a problem with the ankle, so he got to the house well ahead of me.

After our run, those of us who had been out sat around the kitchen table having coffee and delicious homemade coffee cake. Paula asked, "Guys, did you tell Michael the schedule for today, where things are, that sort of thing?"

"Sure did," Kent said. "We'll all be back by 1:00. I suspect those still in bed will sleep in since we were up so late. You others will probably go back to bed..."

"You're frigging right," I said. "In fact, I'm on my way right now. Don't worry about us. We'll make out."

"I'm sure we can count on that," Luke laughed.

Kent left for Case and the rest of the crew headed for Oberlin. I was positive their minds would not be on class that day.

Keith

When it came time for bed, rooms were divided up. Since Kent had a room to himself, three of us were sharing it with him. He had a king size bed and said it was fine with him if someone shared it. We tossed for it and Jack won. Marc and I got the floor with sleeping bags. It was comfortable enough and I actually preferred it to sharing a bed.

Kent was very quiet when he got up. I don't think Jack missed a minute's sleep. As quiet as he was, I was awake, and when Kent noticed he said, "We're going for a run on the beach. If you'd like to go, I've got sweats. Marc raised up and said, "I'm game," and I joined him.

After the locals had left for class, Marc and I were having another cup of coffee when he asked, "Keith, how about a walk on the beach? We had a run, but I'd like to just walk."

"I'd love it," I answered. Truth be told, I would have gone for a walk through hell with Marc. I had never had a guy bowl me over the way Marc had. I tried to act normal around him, but it was difficult.

We went back to the room and got our heavy coats--Jack was still sawing logs and didn't stir when we went in.

If there had been any wind I don't think we would have stayed out very long, but the air was still and the sun warm, so walking on the beach was very pleasant. We were walking in silence when, suddenly, Marc asked, "What do you think about this group here? I mean the guys living as a couples?"

I didn't know how to answer. I mean I knew what I felt about it, but I wasn't sure what Marc wanted to hear. In such situations my usual reaction was to avoid the question, even one as direct as this. Somehow or other I didn't want to do that this time. "I think it's great. Both couples--Matt and Luke, Eugene and Larry--went through some hell last year. Well, Eugene had been through hell long before. Anyway, I think they deserve some happiness and they seem to have found it. Most of the time anyway. They had an episode since they have been here and will probably have to show up in court before Thanksgiving."

"Oh?"

I told Marc what I had learned from Michael and Mary Kathryn about the problems at Waterside. "I'll never understand why people think because someone is gay they have the right to beat the shit out of them."

"Yea, I agree completely," Marc said then, point-blank and out of the clear blue, he asked, "Are you gay, Keith?".

Again I would have, under most circumstances, sidestepped the question, but I guess I was so taken with Marc that, without thinking, I said, "Yes, I am".

"Do you have a lover?"

What was I to say? I could say, "No," and let it go at that or I could say, "I had one, but no longer". I could have done that, but I didn't. When I opened my mouth to speak, I couldn't make a sound and huge tears started rolling down my face. I cried as I had never cried before over what Rocky had done to me.

Marc stopped, wrapped his arms around me and said, "I'm sorry, Keith. I wouldn't have upset you for the world." He was holding me close and I rested my head on his shoulder, still crying. "I'm sorry, Keith. Damn, I'm sorry."

"It's not you, Marc. It's something I thought I was over." We stood, Marc still holding me, while I told him about Rocky. "So you see, it's nothing you have done. I guess I needed that cry because of what was done to me and, damn it, for allowing it to be done."

"You better be glad the son of a bitch is not here now or I'd beat the ever-livin' shit out of the bastard," Marc said through clinched teeth. "I mean it." And there was not the slightest doubt in my mind he did mean it.

Just ahead of us was a large piece of driftwood, actually most of a tree. Marc led me toward it and we sat on it, side-by-side, our backs to the sun. Marc sat with his arm around my shoulder. He took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped my face, then gave me the handkerchief so I could blow my nose. We were both silent for a long time.

Marc was staring out across the lake when he said, "Keith, I'm gay and have known it since I was twelve or thirteen. I played around with friends until I was fifteen, when I realized they were straight and just experimenting. Two or three times I fell for a guy and we had sex but, while I thought I was in love, the guys just saw money and things I could give them. I thought they were friends, but they were just high-class whores in my book. Oh, they didn't have a price list, but I finally realized they were in it for what they could get out of me. Having money has its advantages, make no mistake about that, but it also means that most of your so-called friends are in it for the ride and when the going gets rough, they get going. Douglas is the one exception. Of course, he has money as well, but I would trust my life to Douglas. He is one super guy."

"Does he know you are gay?"

"Sure. I think he knew it before I did. I was really down in the dumps and bitching about being gay several weeks ago and he said, "You need to see how beautiful gay love can be. Can you get the plane? If so, we are off to a party." When I found out I could get the plane this weekend, he told me I was in for a surprise. Of course I haven't seen very much of Matt and Luke, or Eugene and Larry, but they seem very happy. I guess they have their problems, but they seem just like normal, everyday people. Of course they are gay, but still normal if you know what I mean."

"I think I do," I replied.

As much as I loved being with Marc, I was getting col