A Special Place

By Sequoyah Pendor

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(Parts Twenty-one - Thirty)

        
Part Twenty-one

Eugene

        I was sleeping in the guest room at David Andrews' when I was suddenly awakened by Dad. He had his belt in his hand and started beating me again. I had thought I was safe. David had promised me Dad couldn't beat me any more and now he was. My back was killing me. I could hardly keep from fainting from the pain. I started screaming and when I did, Dad beat me harder. I screamed louder and louder. Why didn't someone come to help? Where was David? Where was Michael? Why had they let Dad get to me? I screamed and screamed and screamed. Suddenly I wasn't in the dark any longer. When the lights came on, I realized I had been dreaming, but my back did hurt. I was in terrible pain. I should have taken a pain pill before I went to bed. But I had. I really was confused when Michael sat on the edge of the bed and pulled my head to his shoulder. I was crying like a baby.
        "It's ok, Eugene. It's ok," Michael said as he stroked my hair and held me close without touching my back. "You must have been having a nightmare."
        "I was. I was dreaming Dad had come here and was beating me again. But my back really does hurt. It hurts worse now than it did this afternoon."
        "It's ok. Dad will be here in a minute, I'm sure. Just relax all you can." Michael was still stroking my hair and holding me when David came in the room. "Dad, Eugene was having a nightmare and his back hurts terribly."
        "Margaret left a shot of pain killer just in case although she didn't think Eugene would need it. I'll get it."
        When David came back with the shot he told me it was more than I had in the afternoon and I would definitely be feeling no pain shortly and would sleep. He gave me the shot and then checked my back. "I don't think I need do anything more, but it's a lot worse than Margaret and I thought."
        "Eugene, would you like for me to sleep with you?" Michael asked.
        "You would do that even though I am...."
        "What's that got to do with anything?" Michael asked. "If you want me to sleep here, of course I will."
        "Well, if you don't mind."
        "Do you want me to put on boxers or something?" He asked. For the first time I noticed the Andrews men were as naked as the day they were born. "Only if it would make you more comfortable."
        "Definitely not," Michael said as his voice got further and further away. Michael lay beside me and I spooned into his back, feeling warm and safe and wonderful as I started floating. I was floating, floating, floating above a beautiful river. I was floating above the falls then I just drifted...."
        When I woke up, I was completely disoriented. I was groggy and didn't know where I was. For some reason, my back ached. When I got my eyes opened, I realized there was a strange man sleeping with me. Suddenly, I remembered where I was and why my back hurt. I tried not to awaken Michael, but as soon as I moved, he was wide awake.
        "I hope you slept well after that nightmare," he said.
        "I did. Now if I don't get to the bathroom, I'm going to...."
        "I'm right behind you!
        When we had finished our business, Michael said, "I'm going for my morning run. The Gang of Four runs every morning. I'll tell Dad you're awake since he'll want to check your back. I guess you'll just have to take a spit bath--you know, water in the basin and a wash cloth-- since I'm sure he won't want you getting your back wet. See you at breakfast."
        A few minutes after Michael had left the room, David came in. "How are you feeling this morning?" he asked.
        "I have felt better. My back's still painful, but not like it was last night."
        "Let me take a look at it." David had his bag with him and gently removed the bandages from my back. "I'd hoped I could leave the bandages off so your wounds could get some air. That's best, but I'm afraid some of the places are still oozing and your shirt might stick to them. Also, it would probably rub the places which are raw and that would be very uncomfortable. When you get back from whatever Millie has up her sleeve, you can take your shirt off and I'll check the bandages this evening. You'll have to take a tub bath I'm afraid and be very careful not to get your back wet. When you finish, I'll redress your wounds. Just give me a yell when you're ready."
        I was really glad I could get a real bath even though it was in a tub. When I finished, I found my razor, shaved, brushed my teeth and put on a pair of boxers, then called David. He came up and redressed my back and I finished dressing and went downstairs. Michael came in the front door soon after I got down. "Michael, I want you to know that I really appreciate what you did last night. I'm sure it was not easy for you...."
        "Why do you say that? You were a friend in trouble. I didn't do much, but I did want to do what I could. That's what friends are for. Look, I know you're gay and that makes no never mind. And even if I were gay, you certainly wouldn't hit on me. You have a boyfriend. If you were straight, I would expect Mary Kathryn to keep her hands off you if you were in bed with her. Same thing, right?"
        "I still want you to know that I appreciate what you did very much. Thanks."
        "Anything for a friend."
        David came down and we had breakfast. "I'm afraid Michael and I aren't the best cooks in the world. In fact, if it hadn't been for milk, cold cereal and fruit, we wouldn't have had breakfast for the past two or so years."
        "Better than I'm used to," I said.
        After breakfast, David left for the hospital and Michael was off to school with Matt and Luke after they came in to see how I was doing. I waited around, doing nothing, trying not to think until Millie came.
        She had said she would pick me up around 8:30 and she arrived promptly at 8:30. "Have you had breakfast?" she asked as soon as she was inside. I told her I had eaten with David and Michael. "Well, we need to talk and decide what we're going to do. Last night you said your father took back his name. What did you mean?"
        I told her the whole story again as I had heard it from David and the others who had gone to my house. "How do you feel about that? I mean really deep down inside."
        "I guess I may need to think some more about it--no, I don't--if he thinks I am a disgrace to the Joyce name I must be so far as he is concerned. I know that, to my mind, he is a disgrace to the human race. I have put up with his abuse as long as I can remember. I tried to do what he wanted me to do until one day I realized I could never be what he wanted. He once said I was a mistake and never should have happened. I guess yesterday he just made clear by his actions what he always thought and said; I was an unwanted mistake and kept being a mistake. He was ashamed of me, so why should I be proud to bear his name? He doesn't want that and I know, deep down inside, I agree with him--not that I am a mistake, but that I don't want to bear the same name he does."
        "You're real sure of that?"
        "Yea, I'm real sure."
        "Fortunately you're eighteen and don't have to have your parents' permission for anything unless you're living with them in which case I'd expect you to... I was going to say 'do as they said,' but there are limits and your mom and dad both went way past them. And, in any case, it doesn't matter now. They tossed you out so you're a free man. I want to say some things and then we'll talk.
        "Last night I started thinking about grandkids again. I swear, I never thought that would bother me, and I'd die before I let Jason know it, but I really miss having grandkids. I want you to know something about this Willingham family and especially about Jason.
        "You know, of course, I have money. I have piles of money, more than Frank left me and he left me a bundle. Hell, I've got money I have forgotten about. Frank and I both earned our money by hard work. He came from an old Concord family everyone thought was wealthy, but they weren't. They owned a lot of land, but when it came to money, they couldn't buy a pot to pee in. My family had nothing. Mom and Dad were hard workers and were determined their kids would have a better life than they. Both families scraped and skimped to find money to see that we got a good education, but that was it. After that we were on our own. We really worked hard. Frank found ways to make the Willingham's land pay off. Our accounting firm was making good money so we were, over the years, made wealthy. Our one sorrow was that we couldn't seem to have children."
        "When we discovered I was pregnant, we had just about given up hope of ever having a child. When Jason was born everyone kept telling us he would be spoiled rotten--an only son born late in life to a couple who had just about given up hope. What could you expect? Frank and I sat down the day Jason was baptized and talked a long time about his future. We were determined he would not end up like the spoiled, wealthy kids we had known at Oberlin. We entered into a pact with each other saying we would never allow Jason to become a rotten, wealthy snob if we could help it." Millie laughed, "I told Frank, 'He might be a rotten kid, but unless he gets money somewhere else, he'll never be a wealthy rotten kid!' And we agreed on that. You don't want to hear all this, do you?"
        "Sure I do. I'm certain it has a point or you wouldn't be telling me."
        "You don't think it's just a senile old lady rattling on?"
        "Not yet anyway."
        Millie laughed her full belly laugh and said, "Eugene, I can see we're going to get along fine. Well, anyway, Jason was and is a good kid. He's honest, cares about people, is very loving and just a great human being. And I'm not saying that because he's mine. During high school, he got into a few minor scrapes usually, I am proud to say, because he ended up fighting to protect someone. He did well in school and when it came time for him to go away to college, we told him we would provide for his education at any place he wanted to go. We would pay all his expenses within reason, but we were not paying him to party. He did well in college his first year and asked to move off campus. He didn't like the noise and horseplay in the dorm. Seemed reasonable and he got an apartment.... There is a point to all this, Eugene, trust me."
        "I will, for a while longer."
        "Why I ought to slap your face for talking to an old lady that way," Millie said and drew back her hand. I covered my face with my hands and started bawling like a baby. "Damn, how could I be such a fool," Millie said as she jumped out of her chair, ran to me and put her arms around me, avoiding my back. "Eugene, please forgive me. I have never struck a child in my life and never would. I intended to joke with you as I often did with Jason, but it was a damn poor joke. Can you forgive me?" she asked as she pulled me into her ample bosom and rocked me, stroking my hair. When I looked up, Millie had tears in her eyes.
        "I'm sorry. I should have known you wouldn't hurt me, but I have been hit so many times, I just react."
        "Eugene, if I can make it possible, you'll never be hit again. I am so very, very sorry."
        "It's ok now. Finish your story."
        "Are you sure you're ok?"
        "I'm sure."
        "Well, Jason had dated some in high school, but never anything as serious as even having a steady girlfriend. I guess we should have known something was different about him, but we never thought anything about it. Anyway, the year after his father died, he came home Christmas and brought one of the most beautiful men I had ever seen with him. When they walked in, Jason said, 'Mom, I'd like you to meet Anthony, the light of my life and my soulmate.' I suppose I was expected to be shocked or something, but I wasn't and before the holidays were over not only was I convinced Jason was a lucky devil, but also that Anthony was as good as they come. It seems that Jason, even in high school, knew he was different and by the end of his first year in college he admitted to himself he was gay, but told no one.  One night at Canterbury--that's a college group for Episcopal students--Anthony showed up and and Jason fell head over heels for him--love at first sight Jason called it. I called it lust at first sight. Jason laughed when I said that and said I was probably right, but only at first sight. 'Mom, I fell for Anthony like a ton of bricks the first time I laid eyes on him and it kept getting worse--better--whatever.' But, according to Jason, Anthony was so obviously straight that he never dared say anything to him, but managed to be around him a lot."
        "Anyway, one night there was a discussion group about sexuality at Canterbury and someone said something about gays bed hopping and that set Anthony off big time. He told the group they were a bunch of hypocrites because they accused gays of doing what most of them were doing. 'I'm gay and I haven't had sex with anyone since high school and I suspect few of you can say that. I don't have sex to get my nuts off'--I suspect the Episcopal chaplain wished he hadn't allowed that can of worms to be opened--'And I won't have sex again until I love someone and he loves me.' I guess after that bomb shell landed the meeting broke up quickly. Jason asked Anthony if he'd like to grab a beer. They sat in a pub until it closed, then Jason invited Anthony to his apartment and they talked until daylight. They started doing a lot of things together and were having great fun, but Jason was still reluctant to say anything for fear of driving Anthony away. He has my blood in him and he doesn't take rejection very well."
        "Finally, Jason decided he could be cautious the rest of his life and lose Anthony or he could risk everything and maybe win Anthony. Jason planned a trip over Thanksgiving break and asked Anthony to go with him. The next thing I know, he shows up Christmas and announces they are lovers. The first time I saw Anthony he was as neat as a pin, but everything he had on was obviously well worn.  Anthony's family had nothing but a determination their kids would have a better life than they. They helped all they could, but Anthony worked like a dog in high school to earn money for college and to earn scholarships. He had it hard, but he appreciated every bit of help he got. Now why did I tell you all that? To tell the truth, I'm not really sure except to say that Jason is a wonderful son who has a partner whom I love as much as Jason. In one sense, Jason lived an easy life compared to Anthony, yet both worked hard to make something of themselves. Both had the best their parents could give which for both was an excellent education."
        "When they graduated, I gave them money to put their education to use. Both are well off now so I feel free to spend money as I damn well please. The point of all this? I'd like to know if you are sure you are willing to give up being a Joyce?"
        Matt had commented about Millie's tendency to change horses in midstream and I was unprepared for her question. I couldn't see where she was headed. "I guess if the Joyces don't want me, I'm man enough to give them what they want. No, I would just as soon never be called a Joyce again."
        "Do you think you could handle being a Willingham, knowing what would be expected of you as well as what you can expect?"
        I know my mouth fell open and I couldn't say anything for a while.
        "Well, is that open mouth a yes or a no."
        "I don't know. What do you mean?"
        "I told you I really got into that grandmother thing yesterday and I liked it. Would you be willing for me to adopt you? Technically you'd be a son, but to me you'd be a grandson."
        "I'd be honored, Millie, to be your grandson."
        "Now I hope you don't think that means you'll have money to throw around. Jason worked hard for his education and I'll expect you to do the same, but I also expect you to have the time to put into getting a good education, having some fun and working on your music."
        "Millie, I didn't expect anything from my parents and that's about what I got. All I'll expect from you is to be treated like a grandson, if that's what you want and I sure know better than to expect to be treated as a spoiled grandson."
        "Couldn't have said it better myself. Well, let's get going. We've got a lot of paperwork to get done. How are you feeling, by the way?"
        "I feel fine... actually that's a lie. I hurt like hell, but I didn't want to take a pain pill unless I absolutely had to."
        "Hold off if you can otherwise someone might say you were on drugs when you signed the hundred pages with your John Hancock. Well, let's hit the road."
        When we reached her lawyer's office it was obvious Millie had some lawyers earning their money since yesterday. There were stacks and stacks of paper.
        "Mr. Joyce," a young lawyer--who obviously knew Millie because his well-tailored three-piece suit displayed his bubble butt to perfection--said, as he handed me a document, "here is a copy of the restraining order against your father. Frankly, it will not keep him away from you if he wants to harass you. However, should he do so, he'll spend time as a guest of the county."
        "Mrs. Willingham, here are the documents necessary to adopt Mr. Joyce. They, of course, provide for a name change from Joyce to Willingham. Are you sure you want to do this?
        "Mr. Fox, have I ever asked you to do something and then proved to be undecided?"
        "Well, no, but this is a pretty important step."
        "Don't think I have ever been more sure of anything since I said, 'I will,' on my wedding day."
        "Mr. Joyce, since you are eighteen, this is an adult decision you are making. The state doesn't require your parent's permission, but I want you to be very sure you know what you are doing. You are saying 'No' to your birth family--so far as the state is involved, they will no longer be your parents. Legally, you will be as much a son of Mrs. Willingham as her son Jason. I want you to be very sure that is what you want."
        "Mr. Fox, there is only one thing in this world I'm more sure of." Millie looked at me and smiled.
        "Well, I'll get witnesses in here so you and Mrs. Willingham can sign all these papers. As soon as that is done, we have an appointment with a judge to make everything final unless either of you want to write in a waiting period during which you can change your mind."
        "I think we know what we're doing," I said, and smiled at Millie.
        When we had finished signing everything, Mr. Fox asked that I wait in another room. "Mrs. Willingham is making some changes in her will," he explained.
        I had no idea that the justice system moved with a speed that would make a glacier look like a speed demon. It was after noon before Millie and I got to lunch and I was starved. In the excitement of the morning, I had forgotten about my back, but as soon as I sat down, it made its presence known. "From the look on your face you're having second thoughts or are hurting like hell," Millie said.
        "If I had any second thoughts, which I do not, my back right now would vote me down!"
        "Go ahead and take a pain pill now. The only thing we have left to do is go to school and get records changed, Mr. Eugene Willingham."
        "Yes ma'am, Ma."
        "Ok, there are limits Mr. Willingham," Millie said and laughed one of her great laughs.
        I hurt like hell, but I don't know when I had been happier--except when Larry told me he loved me. I smiled and said, "Millie, no one has ever made me as happy as you have...." Millie raised an eyebrow. "I mean except Larry."
        "If you hadn't said that I think I'd give you back to the Joyces. Well, take your pill. Our food's here." After we had almost finished eating, Millie looked at me with a very serious look on her face. "I've got one more question, Eugene. What about your sister?"
        "Millie, we have never been close. About the only thing we ever did together was try to protect each other from Mom and Dad--I mean...."
        "I know what you mean. Don't worry about it."
        "Anyway, we chose different ways of escaping. I buried myself in my music then after I got to know Larry, I spent as much time as possible with him. Really, I hardly know Janice. I do know she hates school and has skipped so much she's in real trouble there. She hangs out with a really rough crowd at school and, when she slips out at night, I suspect she and Wallace hang out with some rough kids. About the only time I have ever heard her say she was happy was when she spent summers with Dad's sister in Arizona. I guess that being far away was a part of it. Plus, there are three cousins--all girls--one older, one younger and one about Janice's age.  When she was there was the only time she got to do real girl things--lipstick, colored her hair, you know, girl things. I suspect if she had a choice she would go there to live."
        "Well, why don't we check that out as an option. You're sure she won't mind being separated from you?"
        "Quite sure. She just wants out of the hell hole we've lived in and, as I said, we were never close."
        "I think we need to drop by protective services on our way to school. Want dessert?
        "Millie, I don't think I could be force fed another thing!"
        "Then let's roll."
        When we got to protective services, the social worker who came out to the house yesterday was busy so Millie told the receptionist we would wait. We only had to wait for about ten minutes. When we got into the office, Millie told her why we came by. "Eugene has been taken care of. I adopted him because I knew him and the good stuff he has inside. He tells me he and his sister were never close and he thought she would like to live with an aunt in Arizona if that were possible. Where does she stand now?"
        "She stayed with Dr. Bailey last night and I have been working on placement when I had time today. We have to have her placed within five days after the court hearing and that was this morning. Neither of her parents showed up and that constitutes abandonment. But she can't stay with Dr. Bailey beyond the five days without Dr. Bailey being certified a foster parent. That probably could be done, but it takes time and I understand Dr. Bailey is going to be kinda busy for awhile."
        "That's right. She's being married Sunday. I had forgotten that. Would it be as complicated to get her to her aunt's?"
        "Not at all, since she's a relative. Janice is sixteen so some of the rules are more relaxed for kids her age."
        "I don't know my aunt's phone number or address, but she works for Office Depot in Phoenix."
        "That should be enough. If you have time, I'll call her right now."
        "It's almost 2:00 and we need to get to the school before it's out, but we have time. Let me call Ms. Jones and make sure she will be there when we get to school." The social worker--her desk plate said she was Ms. Anderson--pushed the phone across her desk. Millie dialed without having to look up the number. I suspected she kept a pretty close tab on school these days. "Ms. Jones, please," she said into the phone. In a minute she continued, "Constance, Millie. I'll be at school as soon as I can get some things cleared up here in town. Could you make sure Ms. Norman is also there? We have some important business to attend to.... No, I don't think it's more trouble," Millie smiled as she looked at me. I smiled back, probably kinda goofy because I was feeling no pain--literally and figuratively!
        When Millie finished, she pushed the phone back across the desk and Ms. Anderson dialed for directory assistance, wrote down a number and said, "Thank you." She then dialed another number. She looked up as she said, "We're at the 'if you wish, press' stage. Eugene, I forgot to ask, what is your aunt's name?"
        "Sandra Martinez."
        "'Yes, could I speak to Ms. Sandra Martinez, please. Well, yes, if Ms. Martinez is the manager.' They are paging her. 'Yes, Mrs. Martinez. This is Carletta Anderson. I am a social worker with protective services in Concor.... No, Ms. Martinez, no one has been seriously hurt--well, that's not quite true.... Yes, you're right. No, Eugene was severely beaten, but he is eighteen and I couldn't get involved in .... No, no. I'll let him tell you about his situation. He is here in the office with me right now. I'm calling about Janice.... No, she has not been physically hurt, at least not this time'." The call went on for awhile as Ms. Anderson explained the situation Janice was in. When she asked Aunt Sandra if she was willing to take Janice, it was obvious from her face the answer was "Yes."  She then explained since Janice would be moving out of state, the state would be unable to pay her for foster care. "We will try to get child support money from Mr. Joyce, but I wouldn't plan on it. Can you handle the financial burden of an extra child?... You have just been made manager? Congratulations. I'm sure the extra money could be used otherwise, but I am thankful that you accepted without hesitation. Janice needs a lot of loving and care and Eugene suggested the only place she was ever happy was with you.... She is staying with a woman doctor here now, but I think we can get the paper work done and have her on her way today, maybe tomorrow at the latest.... Yes, please do give me your home number as well and I will call you as soon as things are in order.... Of course we will allow Janice to decide whether or not she wants to come, but she will have to realize that the alternative is an unknown foster home.... I'm sure she will appreciate your eagerness to have her as soon as possible and I'll call you when I know something definite. Here's Eugene."
        I explained to Aunt Sandra what had happened and why Janice was taken out of the house. She was delighted that I had been taken under Millie's wing. When she asked if that was going to put a real burden on an elderly lady, I responded, "Aunt Sandra, I think she would have your head for calling her an elderly lady. She calls herself an old woman at times, but I don't think she'd cotton to having the title used by someone else." I laughed and winked at Millie. She got a good laugh out of that. "No, I think she can manage to find the money for my needs so I appreciate your offer to help out and I know she does, but it is not at all necessary.... Well, I'm feeling no pain right now. I took a pain pill a short time ago and I'm kinda floating, but I understand he did a crackerjack job on my back. Dr. Bailey, with whom Janice is staying, and David Andrews are taking care of it. He is an EMS nurse and I spentthe night at his place.... I know and I appreciate your concern, but I'm more than ok now that I am out of that hell hole of your brother and sister-in-law, and knowing that Janice will be loved and cared for completes things for me. Sure, I'll keep in touch. Bye."
        "It sounds as though Janice will be in a good home so you don't have to worry about her," Ms. Anderson said.
        "She will be and I won't."
        We got to school near the beginning of the last period when I would have been introducing the ensemble to the music we had worked on Saturday. When we reached the office, Millie briefed Ms. Jones on what had happened. "Now we need to get some records changed. As of today, this is Eugene Willingham standing before you," she said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Welcome to Independence High School, Mr. Willingham. I'm sure you'll fit right in," Ms. Jones laughed. "Let's go to Ms. Norman's office and get the paperwork done.
        After the paperwork was finished, Ms. Norman stuck out her hand and said, "Welcome to Independence High School, Mr. Willingham. I'm sure you'll feel right at home here," and gave me a big smile.
        When we got back to Ms. Jones office, she had her secretary call Larry, Mary Kathryn ad Michael down. Luke and Matt had already left to keep their appointment with Dr. Bailey. When the kids came in, Larry ran straight to me, put his arms around my neck, avoiding my back, and gave me a passionate kiss which I was happy to return. The others just said, "Hi, Millie," and looked puzzled.
        "Gentlemen, and you are gentlemen are you not, I believe there are rules about that kind of behavior in school. I'll overlook it this time, but next time I'll have to report it to your parents," Ms. Jones laughed. "I called you down because I believe you were involved in the episode at the Joyce house yesterday and I wanted you to know the results of your care and concern. Eugene, perhaps you would like to let your friends know what is to happen with Janice."
        I told them what had happened and assured them that I doubted we would miss each other. "Since all of you are so close, I suspect the closest thing I can think of which might be like one of you moving half way across the country would be if it were Larry. But Janice and I hardly know each other. We were too busy avoiding beatings and harangues. I'm glad she will have a good home and I know she loves Aunt Sandra and her family and they love her. That's all that is important. It's not like I am even losing a good friend."
        "Mrs. Willingham, would you like to finish the story?"
        "It's very simple, all of you I claim as grandchildren. Eugene is special. It pays to have high paid lawyers who know the right people. Never let anyone tell you justice is blind. She can see power and money. So, as of today this young man is Eugene Willingham. I've adopted him. There is a restraining order against his father so that takes care of that. Guys, do you think you can do another move today? If you can't, Eugene can stay at David's until you can."
        I blushed because I was frightened and had something I needed to say, but felt embarrassed to say it. But as she said, Millie never missed a trick. "Ok, Son, what's the problem?"
        "Millie, last night I had a nightmare and when Michael finally got me awake, I was in such pain, David had to give me another shot. I think the pain pills will be all I need since I have been doing ok most of the day, but if it's all right with you, I'd like to spend one more night at David's to be sure I don't need him."
        "Of course it's all right! I wouldn't think of insisting you move until you are sure you can make it through the night without David's help. Well, Ms. Jones, I guess I'm ready to go. If it's ok with you, I'll just take this bunch of grandkids off your hands."
        "I certainly hate to see them go, but I suspect I will see them all tomorrow."
        We all piled in Millie's car and drove to David's. Larry came with me and then went back into town with Millie. When they had left, Michael and I talked for awhile. I thanked him again for holding me last night and we talked about friendship and caring for other people, about why he and his dad had stayed at the Temple of Praise--neither really knew why they had stayed. David and his family had started going when David got out of service because some of David's family had been members there before it became so radical. When Elizabeth was so sick, David just didn't have the energy to change until the constant harangue against gays finally got to him. Then we talked about all that happened today. I still couldn't believe someone had cared enough to actually make me her son. By the time we had talked for a long time, my back was making its presence felt so I took a pain pill. Michael said he was going to set up a gym, I thought, as I fell asleep. Michael must have picked me up and taken me to bed because when I waked up I was in the guest room bed.
                                
Matt      
 
        Luke and I left school and went straight to our appointment with Dr. Bailey. We were both kinda nervous, but didn't admit it to each other. We didn't have to. Not only was our personal mental communication system in excellent order, but we knew each other well enough to read our body language. When we reached her office, we had to wait a bit before she could see us.
        "Guys, some of our time together may be a bit embarrassing for you and some may, frankly, seem a bit gross, but there are some things I want you to know because they are very important and you are very important to me. I'd say the same thing if I were talking to Mary Kathryn and Michael. Of course, what I'd have to say to them would be different in some specifics, but not overall. And regardless of what else you may hear, remember or forget, do not forget this: in sex, as everything else, you are partners.  You are lovers and if you remember that and all that loving each other means, you'll be ok. You'll be more than ok. It's kinda like lover is always really plural.  If you always remember your beloved, sex, as every aspect of your life, will be enriched. Think of your partner, not just yourself. That's the reason sex without love never works in the long run. God, I hope I don't sound too preachy, but I know you two love each other and sex will be a glorious experience if it is always an expression of love for the other. But you do have to take care concerning certain things... some of which MAY not be of concern to a heterosexual couple.
        We talked for an hour and promised we'd read a book she gave us and write down any questions which arose.  We had no more we could think of then. "One final thing. Since you are virgins, you don't have to worry about STDs now or ever unless one of you decides to play around. Should one of you play around, when you go back to your partner, it will be the same as his having sex with every person that guy--or girl--has had sex with. I hope that will never be a problem for you and, if it is, I suspect worrying about STDs will be the lesser of the two very serious problems you have to deal with. Most STDs can be treated, some cured; I'm not as sure about smashed trust, betrayal and broken promises.
        "I don't even want to think that will ever be a problem," Luke said.
        "Neither do I. Nonetheless, should it be, your relationship will be put to the most severe test it could possibly face. Much will be demanded of both of you to handle the destroyed trust and broken promises. I sincerely hope you never face that but, should it happen, I hope and pray your love can handle it." Her last words to us were, "Matt, Luke, sex is a beautiful, wonderful and powerful part of being human. It can be nothing more than a way to get your rocks off--I guess that expression is still used--in which your partner is nothing more than a convenient warm, moist hole. Or it can be the deepest and most powerful way you have of expressing your love. So long as you are thinking of the other, you'll do ok. Men have found that to be true since time began. Be tender, be easy, be loving, be caring and you will discover a whole new world. It won't be love, you have that already, but it will be a way of expressing your love which will spin the very stars."
        We were ready to go when I remembered Eugene and Larry. "Margaret, we told Eugene and Larry we were coming to talk with you and asked if they wanted to. They said they would. They have some problems which I'll let them talk over with you, but could they see you?"
        "I'll keep time after school tomorrow for them." Margaret then got up and, I guess, ceased being Dr. Bailey since she embraced each of us and said, "I hope and pray you two have a long, joyful and loving life together." Then she said, "Oh, I almost forgot. The social worker from protective services just called. Janice is going to live with her aunt in Arizona. She used to go there in the summers and loved it. She's leaving tonight from Jackson. Ms. Anderson from protective services is taking her to the plane. Eugene also has some news, but I'll let him tell you about that. See you after work."
        It was still an hour and a half before Gabrielle would be off work so I called her and asked her to pick me up at St. Mary's so Luke could go on to work in his studio. When we reached St. Mary's, Luke came in with me and greeted Gertie. Fr. Tom was out making parish calls. Luke walked into the church with me, took me into his wonderful, powerful arms, pulled me to himself and placed his lips to mine. My lips had healed enough for him to give me a real kiss if he kept it gentle. Which he did, his tongue invading my mouth, carrying the taste of Luke to me. When he broke the kiss, I placed my head in the curve of his neck and whispered, "Luke Yonghon Tongmu Hans Larsen, I love you more than I can ever tell you."
        "And, Matthew Sarang Hanun Pomul Greywolf, I can't begin to tell you how much I love you, but I want to spend my life trying." Luke kissed me again and this time sucked my tongue into his mouth. "Babe, we are doing what we want to do, not what we need to do. I'll see you tonight unless one or the other of us gets too involved in our work." He gave me a final quick kiss and rushed out.
        I had copies of all the music I planned to play for my recital and the concert, and decided I would just start with the first and play through to see where I really needed to work. I had been at it for two hours without a break when I realized that nature was calling. When I finished, I gathered up my stuff and went to the office to wait for Gabrielle. Gertie looked up as I walked in and said, "I'd have thought Millie was long past having a child, but I understand she has a new son." Her laugh rivaled Millie's. "You do know she has adopted Eugene, don't you."
        "No, I didn't. Margaret told me and Luke that Eugene had some news for us, but didn't tell us what."
        "Sorry if I ruined his surprise. I thought you knew."
        "That's ok. I'll tell you one thing, Millie just got herself a great son. Eugene is a really grand person who certainly deserves some good time after what he has endured. I guess you know...."
        "That he's gay? Sure I do."
        "Well, that too, but what I was going to say was that he directed the ensemble here the other night and will be directing it again."
        "Matt, I don't know why you didn't give me a good ass kicking for that remark. There was no cause for me to think that was the most important part of who he was. I owe you and him an apology."
        "Accepted. Have you talked to Chelsea and Gladys recently?"
        "As a matter of fact I have. They have found a location for their hospice--it's a grand old house which will have to have a lot of work done to transform it, but it sits near the river and has great lawns and has had splendid gardens which can be resurrected. It will be a beautiful, calm place. Come to find out it belonged to Millie and she sold it to Gladys for a dollar so the money Gladys might have spent for property will go on the renovations. Dr. Walker has gotten interested and is working on getting equipment donated. Things are moving. You'll see them Sunday at the wedding. I think half the county is showing up. Once the word got out, people who have known David and Margaret just kinda invited themselves. Should be a real event.... Hi, Gabrielle. Come to take this wild Indian off my hands?"
        "I guess I need to. Seems some folks out in the country are kinda attached to him."
        "Matt, see you next time," Gertie said as the phone rang.
        As we left, I made a mental note to tell Luke what Gladys and Chelsea were up to and was lost in my thoughts about how Luke and I were finally brought together and the loving people who surrounded us. That reminded me of the very different situation Eugene had been in and his family didn't even know it all. I was startled when Gabrielle said, "Where are your thoughts, Matt? You seem to be lost in your own world."
        "I really was. I was thinking about Chelsea and Gladys and what they are doing to provide a loving place for people who are dying and how they loved and cared for me and Luke, about the suffering Eugene has been through and how lucky Luke and I are to be surrounded by so many loving people. How do you ever repay that kind of love?"
        "I guess in one way you don't because it is both priceless and given without thought of cost. But in another you can and that's the way Gladys and Chelsea are doing it. You repay love by being loving and giving love to others. Too bad many people, perhaps most, never learn that giving is what life's about, not receiving."
        "Makes me kinda wonder about Eugene. I can understand why the Gang of Four can love because we have all been loved all our lives, but Eugene hasn't."
        "If you can figure that one out, and why kids from really good, loving homes can turn out rotten sometimes, I guess you'd make Bill Gates look like a pauper," Gabrielle observed.
        "Yea." was all I could say, but what more needed to be said? "Margaret told me Janice was going to live with an aunt in Arizona and that Eugene had some great news for us. I wonder what that might be?" I wasn't about to admit that Gertie had spilled the beans.
        "Well, you'll soon know. We're at David's." I had been so lost in thought that we had gotten home before I realized it. "Do you want to stop here or go on home?"
        "I'll stop here and see how Eugene's doing. See you later."
        When I got inside, I yelled, "Anyone home?" and bounded upstairs. I saw Eugene was asleep in the guest room. I turned to go since I didn't want to wake him but, just as I started out the door, he said, "Matt, glad you're here. I have some real news for you and Luke, but I didn't want to bother him if he's really involved in his work."
        "I'll check. He's been at work for two hours and needs a break anyway. How's the back?
        "It's a real bitch, I'll have to admit. I took a pain pill when I got home and fell asleep, but it's better."
        "Where's Michael?"
        "He said something about getting the gym ready. Said you all were going to do it Saturday, but... and that's when I drifted off. I don't know what he was talking about." I explained that all three of us had worked out at school, but were having a time problem so we decided to combine our stuff and set up our own workout room in a shed at my place. "I need to get in on that as soon as this back gets better. Think Larry would like to as well."
        "Sounds like a winner to me. I'll see what Luke's up to."
        When I reached the studio, I knocked on the door and Luke came out, carefully closing the door behind him. "Can you take a break? Eugene has some news for us."
        "I'll be in in five minutes. I need to take care of a few things before I can leave for any time at all," he said as he leaned forward and kissed me.
        When Luke came in, Eugene told us all about the events of the day. "Hot damn," Luke exclaimed, "the son of a rich mama!"
        "Well, she made it pretty clear that she wasn't about to have a spoiled brat on her hands, but she did say that she'd do the same for me as she did for Jason: see that I had an excellent education. That is sure more than I could have expected otherwise."
        "Well, I suspect that if you weren't who and what you are, you could end up a spoiled brat anyway. No problem with your dad?"
        "Haven't heard a word and would like for it to stay that way."
        "Matt, I think this turn of events calls for a celebration. How 'bout I call Gabrielle and see what she can whip up?"
        "You think I'd ever turn down a Gabrielle meal?" Just as Luke reached for the phone, it rang.
        "Hello.... Hi, Mom, just getting ready to call you.... 7:30? Sounds great.... Oh, I was just going to suggest the same thing. Yea, I'll make sure I am at a stopping place in time. Bye."
        "Mom was calling to say we were having a celebration at our place at 7:30. Seems like we are either celebrating or in some hell hole these days. When will everything just be even?"
        "I suspect when we are feeding the worms six feet under," Eugene laughed. "This way we know we are alive and there are things to celebrate. Afraid my life was on a pretty even basis and I sure didn't like where the base was."
        "Eugene, slip off to slumber land again. I've got to get back to the studio if I want to be at a stopping place in time to celebrate your adoption. What are you up to, Matt?"
        "I'm about played out and I don't think I need to worry about working on the score until we can see how it works in practice so I think I'll go and see what Michael's up to."
        "Later," Luke said and kissed me, almost full force, but holding back a little. "Later Eugene."
        "Matt, I think I'd probably feel better with a little exercise. Mind if I tag along?"
        "Not at all. Do you want to walk or take the Jeep?"
        "Let's leave the Jeep for Luke and walk. I really love being out here and the day is sooo nice."
        "Eugene, it's completely overcast and looks as if it might pour any minute! This is a nice day?"
        "You better believe it! I can remember only one nicer."
        "But you're bound to be in pain even with the pill."
        "I was then too, if you remember," he smiled and for the first time I realized what a beautiful smile Eugene had and I knew its glow came from deep within. "I wish Larry were joining us tonight. It would make my celebration complete."
        "I won't be surprised if he isn't, among others."
        When we reached the shed, Michael had the place all swept out and was beginning to set up equipment. "How's it going, Michael?"
        "Great, now that you are here with your lazy butt. Eugene, feel better after the pill?"
        "Yea, I slept until Matt arrived. Thanks for taking me upstairs." Michael dismissed that with a wave of his hand. "I feel pretty good. Want to make it without a shot tonight and see if I can stop the pills tomorrow. I don't like the way they make me feel: all groggy and crazy."
        Eugene helped get things put together after Michael warned him not to overdo it. "You start sweating and you are going to regret getting carried away." We worked for maybe an hour and had everything set up. "Man, I think getting all this stuff together was a pretty good workout, but I guess we need to try it out."
        "I can spot one of you," Eugene offered.
        "Sounds good. Spot Michael and then you can spot me." We did a short--maybe thirty minute workout and then took a shower. The cold water probably wasn't the wisest thing we ever did, but it sure felt good.
        "Man, I sure miss having a shower. It's kinda hard to give yourself a bath," Eugene said.
        "Let's go home and I'll help you," Michael offered. "Won't be like a shower, but it'll be better than trying to do it yourself. Won't be as good as if Larry were doing it, but if you don't mind a poor substitute," Michael laughed.
        "See you two later," I said as Michael and Eugene headed toward David's and I headed to the house. Mom and Dad were home and Dad asked, "What's this about a celebration at Gabrielle's tonight? Saw Millie at school today and know she left with the crew before school was out. Do you know what's up?"
        "Sure do and I guess it's no secret." I told Mom and Dad all about Janice going to Arizona and Millie adopting Eugene."
        "I guess Eugene feels like he went from hell to heaven without passing 'Go' and collecting $200," Dad laughed.
        "I'm not sure what he feels. Of course, I think he has been kept a bit calm by the pain pills and I guess it really hasn't sunk in yet, but he's surely a much happier camper today than yesterday."
        
Michael

        After Eugene and I left Matt, we took a leisurely walk home. I was afraid he would work up a sweat because the day was quite warm and I knew if he did, his back would sting like mad. When we got back to the house, I said, "How about that bath?"
        "You sure you want to do that?"
        "Eugene, I may do a lot of things, but saying something I don't mean is not one of them. I know how I would feel if I didn't have a decent bath and it makes sense to me that I help you get one--at least the best one you can. To tell you the truth, I don't quite understand my feeling toward you. I don't mean the kind of feeling Larry has for you or Luke has for Matt, but I feel a kind of closeness, like you're a brother I never had maybe. It's even different from the way I feel toward Luke and Matt who are as much brothers as they could be. I really have been thinking about this since last night. There's a kind of protectiveness about it and a kind of bond that, I'll admit, I don't understand."
        "That's strange because I can't understand it either, but I think I know exactly what you mean. It's a feeling that I have as well. And, frankly, I'm surprised by it in myself and maybe more surprised to see it in you. It doesn't seem to fit who I thought you were. I'm not sure who I thought you were, but I guess I thought you had all the friends you needed and, hell, I don't know what I'm trying to say, except you're a great friend and on pretty short notice."
        "Well, I guess we don't have to understand it or work it out. Let's get you in the tub--ugh."
        Eugene got undressed while I ran water for his bath and when he was ready, I stripped to my briefs and helped him get a bath. I could wash his back where it was not bandaged and only once or twice did he flinch when I hit a tender spot. I almost got sick at my stomach as I looked at the welts and I couldn't see the worst, which was covered by the bandages.
        As I was washing his shoulders, he turned and looked at me and said, "Michael, I think I may know why we feel a kinship. We have both lost parents. You lost a mother who, I am positive, loved you very much and I lost both parents who hated me--maybe hate is too strong--no, it's not--and if they didn't, they would if they knew the whole truth.  But we have both suffered in ways that the others in the Select Few haven't. Don't recommend suffering for anyone, but I think we both have gained something from it."
        "You know, I think you may be right--and you now have a loving parent--and believe me I've been around Millie enough to know that she's a loving old gal beneath that crusty outside--and I'm getting another one Sunday. Does that make us newborns? Maybe that could count as being born again!"
        I think some of the pent-up emotions Eugene had burst loose, because he started laughing and couldn't stop. He had tears running down his face he was laughing so hard. Every time he began to get control, I would start to help him out of the tub, and he'd start laughing again and slip back in. "Hey, you're not being much help, Bro." That sent Eugene off again. I heard Dad come in downstairs and yelled down, "Dad, I need some help up here." I finally climbed in the tub behind Eugene, put my arms under his and started to lift him. I had almost got his ass off the bottom of the tub when he started laughing again. This time it set me off and I slipped, falling in the tub behind him. When Dad came bounding up the stairs we were both laughing our fool heads off.
        "What in the world is going on here," Dad said as he rushed into the bathroom. Neither Eugene nor I could stop laughing long enough to say anything. "Michael, if you can get your butt out of the tub, I'll see what I can do with Eugene." I finally managed to get out and Dad lifted Eugene out easily. Dad's strong as an ox and knows how to handle people. "Now, could I please find out what this is all about?"
        Eugene and I had finally gotten control of ourselves and Eugene told Dad what had happened. "I'm sorry, Mr. Andrews...."
        "David."
        "I'm sorry, David. Michael was helping me get a bath and I got a bad case of the giggles and it just got worse and worse until Michael caught the disease and we were both helpless in the tub. I'm sorry."
        "For what? For having a good laugh? That's never reason for an apology unless it's at someone else's expense. I think you deserve a good laugh! Michael, if you'll bring my bag, I'll take a look at Eugene's back. It needs dressing anyway, since SOMEONE managed to get it wet. Tell Margaret to come up too. I want her to take a look."
        I went downstairs and got the bag and asked Margaret to come up. Both she and Dad said Eugene’s back was much worse than they had thought when they first saw it, but decided to leave the bandages off. "If it starts oozing again or if your shirt irritates it, we can put them back on," Margaret said. "Why don't you put on a plain white T-shirt that's not too loose so it won't flop around and rub your back."
        "I don't want to go to the Larsens' looking like I don't know how to dress for a party," Eugene said.
        "Well, I seriously doubt that would be a problem, but if you'll put on a T-shirt under what you want outside, that should be ok. I just don't want something to rub your wounds--and they are wounds--or to stick to them. I'll keep check on that tonight," Dad said.
        "Before I forget it," Margaret said, "I made an appointment for you and Larry to come in to see me after school tomorrow.  We'll have to figure a way for you to get there since Matt and Luke leave school before last period and Matt said he thought you would need to be there to get started with the ensemble."
        "He's right. We'll just have to come up with something."
        "Bro, bet yo' mama would get you and bring you to town."
        "His mother! Have you lost it Mikey?" Dad exclaimed.
        "Now, Dad, you know I hate being called Mikey or Mike. Why are you torturing me?"
        "Well, you seemed to have lost your senses suggesting his mom could bring him to Margaret's. I wasn't sure you were Michael," Dad responded.
        "Oh, I guess you haven't met Mr. Eugene Willingham. Mr. Willingham, Mr. David Andrews."
        "What's going on here?" Dad asked.
        Eugene had started laughing again, but was able to get control of himself. "David, as of today, I am officially Eugene Willingham. Millie has adopted me," Eugene said, and a huge smile spread across his face.
        "You deserve having a decent parent. I know Millie may be tough at times, but she has a real heart of gold. So that's why we're going to Jens' and Gabrielle's," Dad said. "I asked Margaret and she pretended she didn't know."
        "I thought Eugene should have the pleasure," Margaret said and gave Dad a kiss.
        "Man, we are on a fast count down to the end of slow and easy, I can see. The very idea kissing in front of us innocent children."
        Dad laughed and said, "Best I recall a certain young Michael Andrews came home not long ago groaning, muttering something about stone...."
        "Dad!"
        "Doesn't sound like there's a lot of innocent children around," Margaret said. And that sent me and Eugene off again and soon Dad was laughing as well.
        "If you three BOYS can get control of yourselves and get dressed, we'll be leaving for the Larsens' shortly," Margaret said in what sounded like a mama voice.
        As Eugene and I were getting dressed, I heard the Jeep pull out of the driveway and knew Luke was headed home to get cleaned up and dressed. Or more likely he was headed to Matt's.

Part Twenty-two

Luke

        I was so absorbed in what I was doing I let the time slip by and before I knew it, it was 7:00. I quickly got my projects where I could leave them, dashed out to Matt's Jeep and headed toward home. I slowed down when I got to Matt's, thinking I would go in, but then remembered I had told him at St. Mary's we were doing what we wanted to do, not what we needed to do. I knew I really needed to get home and shower since I was covered with clay and if I stopped, I would not be ready by 7:30 because I knew Matt and I would end up in the shower together and time would stand still.
        When I arrived, Mom and Yong Jin were in the kitchen, Mary Kathryn was setting the table--Mom had added another small table to the dining room--and Dad was putting out wine glasses and wine in the den. "Thought I was going to have to send someone to get you," Mom said.
        "You almost did. I just happened to look at my watch and was surprised at how late it was. I'm going to grab a quick shower to get the clay off and I'll be right down." As I showered I dreamed of Matt. We had spent more time together today than I was afraid we would get, but I also knew that the pace of both our work was going to pick up and we were not going to have the time we wanted together. As his face floated before my eyes, I found myself smiling, overjoyed that he loved me. It had been only a few short weeks since I had decided I couldn't live without him and couldn't live without endangering my beautiful Korean Indian. What a difference these few weeks had made! Ordinarily I didn't sing in the shower. I'm an artist, not a musician! But without thinking I realized I was singing at the top of my lungs, "More than the greatest love the world has known...." I guess the rest of the family had showered and Mom was using hot water in the kitchen so the water started turning cold. Before I could get out, the "potty flushing downstairs" syndrome struck and I went from a very cool shower to a very warm one in a flash. Sometimes you need a reminder I guess, so I jumped out of the shower, dried myself--I liked it a lot better when Matt dried me--and went to my room.
        Tonight was another very special celebration and I dressed accordingly. Matt really was turning me into something of a sharp dresser these days. I carefully chose shirt and pants to accent my coloring and made sure I was "showing some ass." For Millie, yes, but also for the one who would be showing some ass for me!
        When I went down, Mille and Larry had arrived with Paula and Linda. I guess all of the Select Few were going to be here. Great! "Paula, Linda, sure glad you could make it. Linda, I guess you missed out on the excitement by going on a field trip today."
        "Well, I may have missed out on some excitement, but the field trip had its own. Orie was along and tried to get fresh with Debbie Hamilton. She finally had enough and was forced to hit him upside the head with a soda can. Fortunately, she hadn't opened it so she got in a good lick. Ms. Whitfield was all upset--she's a part of the Concord social climbers' set--and started screaming at Debbie. SHE was SCREAMING at Debbie. Debbie had it so she told Ms. Whitfield, 'If you want Orie pinching a teat, bring yours back here!' Needless to say, Ms. Whitfield was furious and dragged Debbie to the office when we got back. I'm much afraid she regrets that because Allison Smithfield and I went with Debbie and Ms. Whitfield. We told Ms. Jones what Orie had been doing. He'll be spending a couple days at home this week and Ms. Whitfield was ordered to apologize to Debbie. It was like a little kid's apology. I'm sure her fingers were crossed behind her back. After she left, Ms. Jones said, 'Debbie, what you said to Ms. Whitfield was not a very lady-like thing to say, but I'm glad you didn't think Orie had the right to fondle you. Lot of girls would never have complained.' Debbie told her she was not one of them and I added, 'Neither am I! A guy just better be sure he has permission to touch me before he does. And if Orie touches me, my dad will have his butt thrown in jail.'  Ms. Jones laughed and told us to go to class because school was about out. 'Think you may have a party to attend tonight so get home on time,' she added as we walked out the door.  'Course when I got home, Mom just said Millie would be picking me up for a celebration and dinner at 7:30. Mom was all excited that Millie Willingham was picking up HER daughter. Only after Millie came did I get the news."
        "Glad you could come," I said and added under my breath, "Glad you ran down." Man, that woman can talk! But Orie really was pushing it. I kinda worried about where it might end.
        Just as Linda finished, the front door burst open and Eugene ran in, arms spread wide, and in a little baby voice cried, "Mommy" and ran toward Millie, enveloping her in a bear hug.
        "You know folks, that lawyer of mine suggested Eugene and I might want to write a "change my mind" clause in Eugene's adoption papers. I sometimes think it was a mistake not to do so. If this kid keeps it up, I'll be changing his diapers before the week is out!" and laughed a real Millie belly laugh as she embraced Eugene. "How's the back SON?"
        "Much better, I think. David wanted to leave the bandages off so the wounds could get air. I think I'll be ok. I took a pain pill when I got to David's and promptly fell asleep. When Matt waked me, I went with him to help Michael get their gym ready and the time with Michael and Matt sure helped. I think I'll be ok--out of real pain anyway--by tomorrow."
        and Eugene then looked over at Larry, a huge smile covered his face as Larry crossed the room. It was obvious that Larry had started to kiss Eugene, then stopped, looked up, blushed and cleared his throat.
        When he looked up, he couldn't help but see Michael was on the receiving end of a Mary Kathryn special. As soon as she broke the kiss, Mary Kathryn explained, "The rule at the Greywolfs' is we are free to show affection as Yong Jin and Greywolf do in the public areas of the house. Now that's an ok rule there. However, fool Michael and Luke agreed to a similar rule at our house. You guys may be able to live with a peck on the cheek, but I want to be kissed! Since I didn't agreed to the rule, I have appointed myself a role model for Mom and Dad. They're learning, but I sometimes have to remind them."
        Dad had walked out of the den when Eugene, David and Margaret arrived and was looking very amused at the whole situation. He very calmly walked over to Mom, swept her off her feet and planted a real kiss on her. When he finally put her down, she blushed and said, "Jens, your tongue!" The whole place broke up. Larry completed what he started, more sedately than my parents, I might add. What was the world coming to?
        "Gabrielle, I have been convinced for some time that someone kidnapped Jens and substituted his identical twin. I'm more convinced than ever now," Millie laughed.
        "Could be, but I can't say that I miss the old Jens a whole lot and the new one is something!" Mom said.
        "Pretty sorry fellow that can't learn a little from his kids," Jens laughed.
        Just as I started to ask about Matt and Greywolf, they came in the front door. Matt came straight to me and, for the first time in forever it seemed, gave me a real, no-holds-barred kiss. When we got ourselves untangled, his face was covered with a Matt special smile as he looked at Jens, laughed and said, "I think I'm allowed extra privileges since I have been kinda on a low-kiss diet."
        "Well, if you're following the house rules, you just missed out on the newest revision I think," Millie laughed.
        "Yea, Dad just taught Mary Kathryn a few tricks a minute ago," I said. "Man, I don't know what we're going to do with these parents. They are getting all out of control."
        "Luke, it's a good thing I remember being young and in love or I might have thought Matt had tossed you overboard. Weren't you supposed to run a little errand for Luke this afternoon, Matt?" Matt started shaking his head "no" and had a puzzled look on his face. Then his expression changed to one of alarm. "I...."
        Millie laughed and handed me a fat envelop. "I expect to see some results from my small investment in your art, Luke. Matt, who did you have your mind on instead of Luke?" Millie asked, looking at Matt sternly. Matt stuttered a few times before Millie slapped him on the back and said, "Gotta move your mind upward young man."
        The celebration had obviously started. "Linda, Paula, Eugene, Larry, our children have had wine at celebrations since they were toddlers almost. I think that was a wise decision on our part because they see it as something special and not a way to prove they are grown up. However, I know other parents feel differently and I certainly don't want to go against their wishes."
        "I know Eugene's parents would never have permitted it," David said, "but he's got a new Mom now."
        "He giveth wine to gladden the heart of man--old ladies, middle aged women and young folks--Eugene, that's the way your Mom feels about it."
        "Well, I am Jewish, so that certainly speaks for my parents," Paula said.
        "I guess it has never been a question at my house," Larry said. "My Mom told me all she would ever expect out of me was I be responsible and thoughtful."
        "All that sounds so good," Linda said. "All my Mom would want to know was whether or not it was accepted in the best circles."
        "That is bullshit," Millie said. "I've never been in the 'better circles' in Concord because my backbiting skills are kinda weak, but if she's concerned about that, I could have the 'better circles' doing my dishes, so on with the wine, Jens. I hope it's good stuff."
        "Well, as an Aussie friend I met in Germany used to say, 'It's a good drop.' It has a fruity main bouquet hinting of blackberry and apricot with a mid-taste of toast and oak with a smooth finish of old tennis shoes!" When we were all in the den, Jens poured the wine and did the first toast, "Here's to an old lady who is as crusty as they come on the outside and pure heart inside, and to the sons, old and new, whom she loves."
        As glasses were being raised, Eugene added, "And who love her!"
        It was a good drop.
        Millie had the second toast which was short and to the point, "Here's to resurrections and new beginnings!"
        I was a bit surprised when Paula did the third toast, "Here's to love and the many, many forms it takes."
        By this time we were all getting a bit misty eyed and I noticed that Eugene and Larry were standing on each side of Millie with an arm around her waist. "Well, for those of you new to the Larsen household, Mom is not the second best cook in the world, she's first and the food's waiting," I said after we had finished our wine. I was hungry. The meal, of course, was perfect. Linda and Paula sat at the table with Mom and Dad, Millie, Eugene and Larry, David and Margaret. They carried on an animated conversation, getting to know Paula and Linda. Matt and I, Michael and Mary Kathryn, Greywolf and Yong Jin sat at the small table.
        It was difficult to talk from one table to the other, so our conversations were pretty much separate until there was an outraged cry from Millie, "What in the world is going on? That is an outrage!"
        "Ok, who's in for hell this time, Millie," Dad asked.
        "Jens, did you know this beautiful child's father died months ago and the insurance company hasn't paid off a cent? Has your mom talked to a lawyer, Paula?"
        "She did several months ago and he told her since it was a big insurance company there would be a crew of lawyers and the only way he would take the case was for seventy-five percent of the settlement. She decided she'd just keep struggling on rather than give whatever she might get to a lawyer."
        "Paula, give me your mom's home and work number--and name--before we leave tonight. I think I have a couple of lawyers sitting around drinking coffee and drawing a salary who need to be at work." 'Don't get Millie riled' was the clear message being sent out.
        After dinner, we all sat around and talked about first this and then that until Millie said, "David, I'm gonna leave the boy with you tonight just in case. Paula, Linda, guess it's time for us to go."
        Eugene looked at Larry kinda puzzled and a huge grin spread across Larry's face.
        "Oh, I forgot, hope it's ok, but I'm leaving another of the grand kids with you tonight, David."
        "That's ok, Millie. He can sleep downstairs on the sofa," David said, as serious as he could be. I could see the grin fade from Larry's face just as David said, "That is unless he wants to share the invalid's bed." The grin returned.
        Larry and Eugene pitched in as the kids cleared the tables. When we finished, Mary Kathryn said, "Well, it looked like rain all day today, but it seems to have cleared off. Think we might make a moonlight stroll to the falls? The moon's pretty bright."
        "Sounds like a winner to me," I said. "I got so much work done today I think I can stand a little playtime."
        I went to my room for a blanket while Matt and Michael snagged the two out of the jeep and soon the six of us--Michael and Mary Kathryn, Larry and Eugene and Matt and I--were walking toward the falls. We had hardly left the yard when we started singing: "More than the greatest love the world has known...."
        The moon had only four or five days until it was full and the sky was perfectly clear so the night was bright. When we reached the falls, each couple found their own place and it was as if Matt and I were all alone. We lay on the blanket facing each other. "Matt, I have missed you so much today! Sometimes I don't see much of you during the day and it's almost ok, but today I really missed you even though we spent time together with Margaret. I guess after our talk with her, I wanted to talk to you and we were both busy. I needed more than anything to tell you I loved you and I never wanted to hurt you. I got frightened when Margaret talked about our playing around, about being unfaithful. On the one hand, that seems so silly and impossible. But on the other hand, I don't know what it is going to be like to be separated from you this summer."
        "I know, Luke, Babe. I was having some of the same thoughts. Dad once said that having sex was like taking olives out of a jar. The first one comes hard and after that, it's easy. I promise you one thing, Luke, if you are ever unfaithful, I will never stop loving you. I know that. From the very bottom of my heart, I know that. But what else would be true, I don't know. I don't want to think about even the possibility."
        "Sarang Hanun Pomul, I don't think I could live with myself if I were ever unfaithful. And I know there is nothing you can do to make me stop loving you. And, God, Matt, I love you. I can just think about you and I feel like I can't hold all the love I have for you. You are, truly, my very life." Matt and I continued looking into each other's eyes. He was so beautiful. His gaze never left my eyes as he slowly covered my body with his. He touched my lips with an angel kiss which gradually became more and more passionate. His tongue entered my mouth and I could taste his beauty, his love. As his kiss became more passionate, I felt his manhood harden and grow against my own which was becoming equally hard. Matt had braided his hair which made it more difficult to undo than when he just had it in bands, but my fingers now knew how to release that rain of blackness which fell, surrounding my face and creating a place which was truly our own world. Matt lifted his lips from mine and started kissing my face, my neck, my eyes as his fingers loosened the buttons of my shirt. Soon my chest was exposed to his lips and he kissed it, paying particular attention to my nipples. When he started sucking on one, I could feel the wetness in my boxers from the stream of precum his loving was causing.
        I took Matt's shirt off so his bare chest was against mine, making me even hotter.
        Matt was grinding his hips against mine, our hardness pressing together as he continued licking and sucking my nips, occasionally dragging his teeth across them. "Yonghon Tongmu, I want to make love to you--to your body, to all of you without limits," Matt said after he had lifted his head and gazed into my eyes. "I am so hot. I think lust has just about consumed me!"
        "I know, Love, I know. I feel the same way. But I don't think lust can ever drive out my love for you. Maybe it is lust, but I don't think so--well, not all of it!  It's just that I want to make love to you the way I love you, no limits, no restraints, just... just love you all the way." Matt's lips locked on mine, our tongues started dueling, which was a win-win situation if there ever was one. Matt's hips started grinding and humping mine more rapidly as I raised my butt off the blanket to press my manhood against his and his hard body. I knew where this would end and I eagerly awaited the release his love making would bring. Matt's breath was coming in quicker and quicker gasps and his grinding and humping became faster and faster. I knew he was rapidly pushing me to the edge. As I passed the point of no return, I bit Matt's lip and cried softly, "Sarang Hanun Pomul, I love yoooooou!" My climax shook my entire body. In response, Matt pressed his hips hard against mine and I could feel the spasms as he shot charge after charge of man's seed between us.
        Matt fell on my body, exhausted, breathing in short gasps. When he had recovered, he raised himself, looked into my eyes, smiled and placed the gentlest possible kiss on my lips. He rolled off of me and we lay by eah other's side, saying nothing, letting our eyes talk for us as we stroked each other's hair.
        "I know we would all like to stay here forever," Michael called, "but I suspect we better get back. Tomorrow's a school day and I need a shower before bed. Four male voices responded, "Me too."
        None of the five guys tried to conceal the wetness evident, even in the moonlight, on our fronts. "I guess we all took care of the problem of too much loving and not enough giving," Michael laughed. "No groans tonight!" We all laughed as we gathered up the blankets and walked toward the house. As we did, we started singing and almost at once, Michael, Larry, and Matt were walking backwards, holding hands with their respective lovers as we each sang to the center of our life.
        When we got back to the house, we said goodnight to the adults and went on the porch to say our more personal goodnights. "Matt, you know where I want to be tonight and every night of my life...."
        "Right where I want you to be, Luke," he responded. "But I know you need to be here and we need to get some sleep. I'm not sure we would if you were where you wanted to be and where I want you to be. I'll see you in my dreams, Luke Hans Yonghon Tongmu Larsen," Matt said and kissed me with a soft kiss.
        "I'll be waiting for you, Matthew Sarang Hanun Pomul Greywolf." I returned Matt's kiss with one of my own, turned and went inside. As I did, Mary Kathryn said, "Michael, love you, Hunk," and came inside with me.

Larry

        When we reached David's, Margaret came inside with us. David said, "Since you don't have to take care of any strays tonight and I have two, think you might stay over?" I almost laughed at the pleading little boy look on the grown man's face.
        "Yea, since I have agreed to share my bed with Larry, you can have the living room sofa," Eugene said.
        "Well, I guess I'm just left out," Michael said. "Larry's not only taken my bed partner, but I bet he also takes my bath partner. Mommy, would you give me a bath and sleep with me tonight?" he whined.
        "Well, I might have, but I just can't stand whining young'uns," Margaret laughed. "I guess I can stay."
        "Door open rule in effect!" Michael said.
        "What's this about bed and bath partners?" I asked. "Thought you'd get away with that didn't you?"
        "We'll discuss that upstairs," he replied. "Let's go."
        "No carrying on up there children," Margaret called as the three of us started upstairs.
        "Guys, I think it's obvious we all need a bath. I'll get a quick shower first since it will take awhile for you to get Eugene cleaned up, especially if he gets the giggles," Michael said as he started stripping at the top of the stairs.
        While Michael got his shower, Eugene told me about their adventure in the bathtub. I could just picture the two of them floundering around, trying to get out. I started laughing as Michael came out of the bathroom and said, "It's all yours, but, Eugene, I'm not sure Larry's in any shape to take on the job."
        Eugene found towels Michael had put out for him and tossed me one as we started getting undressed. Undressed, we stood facing each other and I drank in the beauty of my beloved Eugene. We walked across the hall, hand in hand. "It's important that I try to keep my back dry," Eugene said when we got to the bathroom. He turned and started running water for our bath and I saw his back, which I had not seen before. I looked at it in horror. His Dad had beaten him so badly his back looked as if someone had used a cat-o'-nine-tails on it. Where the skin was not broken, it was bruised and covered with huge red welts. Suddenly I could hear him screaming as his dad beat him then, in my mind, it became his screaming when I had essentially raped him. I immediately became sick and started throwing up and crying. I collapsed on the floor in my own vomit, crying and beating my head on the floor. His father had beaten his back raw, but I was worse. I loved him and caused him as much pain. When I looked up, Eugene looked bewildered and reached out to touch me. I crawled away from him, sliding in my vomit as I continued to empty my stomach, crying in great sobs and looking at him. I was afraid to let him touch me for fear I would hurt him.
        Eugene finally called out, "Michael! Michael, please help me!" I saw Michael rush into the bathroom as I cowered in a corner, filthy from my own sickness. Every time I looked at Eugene, I started throwing up and crying uncontrollably. I was shaking all over and thought I was going insane. Why not? Why did I deserve anything better?
        Michael took one horrified look at me cowering in the corner of the bathroom and ran downstairs. When he reappeared, Margaret and David were with him. David picked me up and held me--I couldn't stand; I couldn't stop shaking or crying. Margaret wet a wash cloth and started cleaning me up. "Michael, my bag is downstairs, please get it for me. Eugene, are you all right?" she asked. I could see Eugene nodding and saw the tears streaming down his care-marked face. That set me off crying even more and I started throwing up again. When Michael got back upstairs, Margaret opened her bag, took out a syringe and filled it from a bottle. David held me so she could clean a spot on my butt and she gave me a shot. Michael had taken over her task of cleaning me up and I was soon free of my own filth. David carried me back to the guest room and gently laid me on the bed. I was feeling more and more relaxed, but was still very much conscious of what was going on. "Eugene, do you have any idea what is wrong?" Margaret asked. Eugene nodded, but couldn't speak for the tears.
        "Is it ok for me to tell Margaret what the problem is?" Michael asked. Eugene and I both nodded.
        Michael told Margaret the whole story of how I had raped Eugene--he didn't call it rape, but I knew it was. Before Michael was finished, Eugene was nearly in as bad a shape as I was. I was becoming calmer--the shot I knew was taking effect, but Eugene was becoming more upset. Margaret looked at David and motioned toward her bag with her head. David brought it to her and she said, "Eugene, I'm going to give you a shot too. Not enough to put you out any more than what I gave Larry will put him out, but enough to help you regain control. We can't solve this problem tonight, but we can get a start on it." She gave Eugene the shot and in a few minutes we were both calm enough, maybe, to talk and listen.
        "I'll go, if you like," Michael said.
        "I, too," David said.
        I still wasn't sure of my voice, so I shook my head. Eugene said, "Please stay."
        "Then I think we need to go downstairs where we can all sit down," David said. He put his arms around me and Michael put his around Eugene and we went down. When we were all settled in the den, Margaret said, "I have heard Michael's version of what brought all this on, but I want to hear why tonight happened." Eugene told them how we were going to give him a bath and when we got to the bathroom and he started the water, I had started throwing up and crying.
        "When Eugene turned to start the bath water, I saw his back for the first time. I knew it was bad, but I couldn't believe what I saw. I could hear him screaming as his father beat him. Then, just as I started to become enraged at his father, his screams became those I heard when I forced myself on him. I immediately started throwing up. I felt that I was filled with filth. I was full of loathing for myself and what I had done to my beautiful lover. I wanted to die. And the more I threw up, the more I hated myself. Eugene started to touch me, but I couldn't stand the thought of his touching me because I was dirty, filthy--not just from the vomit, but also from the horrible person I am." In spite of the shot, I started trembling and crying again.
        Eugene got up and started toward me, but I drew away and he went back to his chair. Michael came over, put his arms around me and hugged me to himself. How could he stand to do that? I expected David or Margaret to do something or say something. They didn't. When Eugene started crying softly, Margaret went to him and held him close. "Larry, do you really, really love Eugene?" Michael asked.
        "Of course I do! I love him more than my own life."
        "Do you think Eugene is a good person?"
        "Of course! Do you think I hate the man I love and think he's no good?"
        "Well, do you think he would love a man who is no good?"
        I had to stop and think about that. I wondered how Eugene could ever love me after what I did, but he did. I knew he did. There was no question in my mind about that. He certainly deserved someone better than me, but he loved me. "I'm confused. How can he love me? I am a terrible person who hurt him as bad as his father, worse. I took something from him he can never get back."
        "I suspect you hurt him worse than his father because he loved you and you did indeed violate him. No question. But there's a real difference. Larry, how many times and in how many ways have you said, 'I'm sorry' to Eugene? How often and how many ways have you told and showed him you were sorry for what you did? How many ways have you shown and told him how much you love him; how much he means to you; how important it is and how you treasure his love for you? Yes, you did a really terrible thing--there's no question about that and no excuse for it--and the same is true of his father, but I haven't seen or heard of his father saying he was sorry or telling Eugene of his love for him or how important Eugene is to him. You are not the terrible person you think you are. Has Eugene forgiven you for what you did?" I nodded. "Do you doubt that he has?" I shook my head "no". "Then it seems to me you have a problem to work on here--forgiving yourself." Of course he made sense, but how could I forgive myself? I looked up at Michael and asked him, "How can I ever forgive myself? How can I?"
        There was silence in the room for what seemed like forever, but couldn't have been a minute. "I said we couldn't solve this problem tonight and we are not going to. But it has to be solved, Larry, or you are going to destroy two wonderful young men, you and Eugene," Margaret said. "I don't think you and Eugene are ready for the kind of talk I had with Matt and Luke because I suspect that having sex is out for you two right now." We both nodded. "I want you to start seeing a therapist tomorrow. I know the very one and if you are agreeable, I'll see if she can see you...."
        "She?" Eugene asked.
        "She--and if you find you can't relate to her, I'll find another. Agreed?"
        Both Eugene and I answered in a whispered, "Yes."
        "What about tonight? Larry, you definitely need a shower and Eugene can use a bath. Do you want to sleep together or had you rather not?" David asked.
        I looked at Eugene and he said, "Please."
        "It's ok. We sleep together often. And I need a bath because we got each other off without, you know...." I could feel my face turning red, saw Eugene blushing and Michael grining.
        "I'm afraid that was an ill-kept secret when you five guys got back from the falls," David said. "Larry, grab a shower and I will give Eugene his bath. I'm still pretty good at that. Old nurse's training kinda sticks with you."
        When we got up to leave, Margaret hugged all three of us and said, "Larry, Eugene, if either of you need me tonight, come get me."
        "Michael is sure lucky to be getting his new Mom," Eugene said.
        "You're pretty lucky with your new mom too, but I'm not really trying to replace Michael's mom. She was a wonderful lady and I am just lucky to be able to share what she had for too short a time, a wonderful man--two wonderful men."
        I went upstairs and remembered the mess I had left in the bathroom and when I went in to clean it up, Michael had already started. "I'll clean up my mess," I said.
        "Bro, I think you are going to have to learn that you sometimes need others to help you clean up your mess and they are ready to do it if you let them." I looked at him. What could I say? Nothing. He was right and I had been too proud and too self-hating and self-punishing to admit it. I guess I had started learning the language of this family for I felt the need to hug Michael and I did. It was a great feeling, especially when he hugged me back.
        When we had finished, I took a quick shower and went back to the bedroom. David picked up Eugene as if he weighed nothing and took him to the bathroom. When they came back, David said, "Eugene, I think I need to dress your back so you won't hurt it in your sleep." He went downstairs and brought his bag back up. "Larry, you can wait in Michael's room if you like." I shook my head and watched as David gently cared for Eugene's back. "Eugene, your back is doing fine, but it really is much worse than either Margaret or I thought when we first saw it. You'll have scars, I'm afraid."
        "I can live with scars on my back. What I'm worried about are the scars Larry has inside."
        "I think both of you have scars inside and maybe open wounds that need healing. The scars inside you can also live with if the wounds heal," David said.
        "Michael started the healing when he took us to the falls and he kept us moving tonight, now it's our time to work on healing each other--with help," I said.
        "Sure you are all right?" David asked. Both Eugene and I said we were and David left.
        As we got into bed, Eugene said, "Larry, what a day this has been," as he snuggled up to me and kissed me softly.
        "Yes, what a day this has been." I snuggled closer to him and returned his kiss. As he put his arms around me, I realized I was very sleepy and started to say something, but realized my beloved Eugene was asleep. I looked into his peaceful, strong, handsome face and thought to myself, "You stupid asshole, you almost lost him and what good would life have been then?" I kissed him lightly on the tip of his nose which I adored, tucked my face under his chin where I could inhale the scent of the reason I wanted to live forever. In the comfort only he could give me, I relaxed and drifted into slumberland.

David

        As Margaret and I lay in bed, I thought about what she had said about Elizabeth and her genuine concern for Larry and Eugene. "Aside from your body, which I like a lot," I said, "you know what I love about you?"
        Margaret laughed and said, "I thought it was just my young, lustful body."
        "Well, I ain't saying nothing against that! But I really love you because you are so matter of fact in your love and concern for the kids--and we seem to have a growing number of them!"
        "David, this bunch of kids is what I have always wanted and in recent years thought I would never have. They are like a fantastic Christmas present to me."
        "Looks like you could have found a bunch without problems."
        "Do teens come that way? I didn't? Did you?"
        I laughed and said, "Well, to be honest, I had my problems. They just seem pretty minor compared with these. I guess Michael and Mary Kathryn have had few problems--at this point--except of course the problems they have faced as a result of the serious ones Matt and Luke have faced.
        "You seem to be forgetting Michael had a serious problem before any of the others did. He lost his mom."
        "You're right but I guess that was not a problem because I think of problems as something which can be solved, fixed."
        "Well, hasn't it been? Of course his mom is still gone, but Michael had solved the problem of how he will deal with loss and I think, until recently, did a better job than his dad."
        "Yea," was all I could say. Then I continued the thought I had started with, "They are all good kids, Margaret. They have loving families who care about them--even Jens couldn't reject Luke when it counted and as rigid as he has always been, he even surprised me, but those two poor guys upstairs.... Even with Millie adopting Eugene, there are deep scars there and I am not talking about physical abuse. And Larry.... I really feel sorry for him. What's going to happen to those two?"
        "You never can tell, but I am very hopeful. Michael is an amazing kid, David. I think Elizabeth's death matured him far beyond his years. He has a genuine understanding of people and a compassion which is almost unheard of in a fifteen-year-old. Had I been dealing with Eugene and Larry tonight, I wouldn't have used the words he used--I don't trust pure logic as much as Michael does and would have dealt with feelings, but he just cut to the heart of the matter without stopping. I would have been scared to death to have pushed Larry the way Michael did, but it worked. I'm sure those two guys will be talking to Michael and maybe Luke and Matt more as time goes on. The therapist can do what she does, but she is going to have a lot of support she doesn't know about from the kids in this family. And I am so happy to be a part of it."
        Margaret kissed me and snuggled close and I inhaled deeply the scent of woman, a delight I had missed so much for too long. In the warmth of our love, we drifted off to sleep.

Matt

        I tumbled into bed, thinking how empty it seemed without Luke beside me. I knew that I wanted him beside me as long as I lived. I was really very sleepy for some reason, but I had to spend time giving thanks. I thought about all that had gone on during the past week and realized how many really caring and loving people there were surrounding me. I thought about Eugene and the trauma he had been through, no, the two traumas he had suffered. I wondered if I could ever have loved Luke had he forced himself on me. I thought about how, in a sense, I had almost done the same to him. Oh, I know I would not have had to force myself on him, but I wanted him so bad that I had almost made him do something he really didn't, in his heart of hearts, want to do. Well, of course he wanted to, but at the same time.... Then I realized what I would have felt like had he said "yes". Luke was a lot stronger than I was, I was sure of that. But as my thoughts continued, I realized what we had was so precious that I didn't want to change it at all. Well, I did, but I didn't. Finally I just turned my mind off and let my heart speak of my love for Luke and his for me. I thanked God for that and for all those who honored it. With thanksgiving in my heart, I was at peace and the angels carried me away to blissful sleep.
        When Luke arrived for our morning run, I was ready. After a not-so-quick good morning kiss, I said, "Luke, you'll never know how good a kiss feels until you have been put off kissing for awhile."
        "And just who do you think I was kissing while you were on your no-kiss diet?" he laughed, his eyes shining.
        We climbed down the trellis and jogged to Michael's where Michael and Mary Kathryn had been joined by Larry and Eugene. "Think you're up to running, Eugene?" Luke asked.
        "I doubt it and I don't think Larry's in good enough shape to run with you guys, but we thought we jog along. Maybe one day we'll get in shape."
        "Well, let's be off," Michael cried and off we were. Luke and I were back in good form when it came to running. It was the body building part of our former exercising that we had to work on to get back our definition and hardness. Michael, having never missed a workout, was in superb shape. He was a damn handsome kid. well, he was a damn handsome man, he sure wasn't a kid any more even though he was only turning sixteen. When it came to bodies, Mary Kathryn was no slouch either. Of course, hers was definitely not a female body builder's body. It was soft and curvey in all the right places. Had I been straight, I thought as I watched her run in front of me for awhile, I would have definitely given Michael a run for the money.
        Luke, Michael and I ran a mile after Mary Kathryn had dropped back to a jog and when we reached her on our return, she started running again until we caught up with Larry and Eugene. "I hope you didn't work up a sweat, Eugene," Michael said.
        "I'm afraid I did and I can feel it. There are still places on my back that are raw. I thought all of them had scabbed over, but I found out they haven't. But the exercise sure felt good."
        When we reached Michael's place, the three guys went inside after Michael took advantage of Mary Kathryn's kissing ability. I don't know how those two learned to kiss as they do since Mary Kathryn never had decent role models, but however they learned, they knew how to do it!
        Luke and Mary Kathryn jogged on to their place after Luke had also proven the Larsens knew how to kiss. I went upstairs, got ready and went down for breakfast. And, I didn't know it, but before long that would be the pattern of our lives with few exceptions--sleep alone, shower alone, run with Luke, drive to school with Luke and seldom see him otherwise. We were both soon to be extremely busy.
        Tuesday, we did see each other for a good time.  Michael, Larry, Luke and I had helped Eugene get his things together and move to Millie's. Man, he had a suite! His bedroom was as large as mine and it, too, had a king size bed. In addition he had his own bath complete with a jacuzza and a study/living room. Millie had seen that he had a top-of-the-line computer all set up and a neat desk for studying and comfortable seating for a least half a dozen people. His eyes really bugged out when he saw it. "Eugene, this was Jason's room. I told you I wanted you to have a good education. This is my part of making that happen for the short time you'll still be in high school. You can put your horn over there by the music stand. I also told you I wanted you to have time for your music. Do you play piano?"
        "Some. I mean I can, but I am no pianist."
        "Would an electronic piano be a help with your music?"
        "Sure. I mean I'm not going to give a recital, but a piano is a real help when I am working on orchestration."
        "We'll look into that tomorrow when you finish at St. Mary's if you have time; if not, as soon as possible."
        "The third thing I told you I wanted you to have was some time for fun--and friends--this is your place. I expect you to keep it reasonably clean, decorate any way you like, and have your friends over when you wish. My place is in the other wing and before you disturb me, the police will be here with complaints from the neighbors. I guess that covers it."
        "Well, there is one....I mean, Millie, it looks as if I have died and gone to heaven, but.... well, I mean heaven would be kinda not heaven if...." I could see Millie was about to bust her corset trying to hold back a belly laugh while Eugene stammered around, turning redder all the time. Luke, Michael and I were about to pop as well while Larry just stood there, looking at Eugene, a goofy grin on his face. "Millie, I mean...."
        "Eugene, I told you this had been Jason's place and that what I had given Jason, I would give you. Now I'll admit that Jason was in his second year of college before anyone--at least to my knowledge--shared that bed with him. But, so far as I am concerned, if you want to share a bed with Larry and it's ok with Larry, that's your business. Doesn't that complete your heaven? But I guess I need to ask, Larry does your mom know about you and Eugene?"
        "Yes, ma'am, she knows all about us, the bad and the ugly as well as the good. Millie, I think it is only right that you know the bad and ugly as well."
        "It's none of my business, but I am always--most of the time--ready to listen."
        "The other guys already know and, in fact, Michael has been a special help to me." We all sat down and Larry poured out his story once more. This time there were no tears and he held Eugene rather than Eugene holding him. "That's the reason Eugene needed you to pick us up after school today. Margaret arranged for us to get professional help and we started today, but what these guys, and especially Michael, have done for us is doing as much to help us--me--get over hating myself and not forgiving myself as the therapist is."
        "Larry, I said that was none of my business. I take that back. Anything which concerns my grand children--and I am claiming you too--is my business. Whatever you need to heal the wounds that I can provide, ask. That's what friends are for and especially what grandmothers are for. Sometimes it's hard to admit you need help and even harder to accept it."
        "Not if Michael's around!" Larry smiled. "He set me straight on that last night when I objected to his cleaning up my mess--my vomit--in the bathroom."
        "I'm having a hard time deciding whether Michael is going to end up a lawyer, a politician or a priest," Millie chuckled.
        "I'm pretty sure Mary Kathryn would vote against the priest option," Luke laughed.
        "Not our kind," Mille said. "A good woman often makes a man a good priest. And a good woman can make a good priest. Or I guess, Michael, should that be where you land, you would have to say a priest may be lucky enough to make.... well, let's let it go at that." Michael is sharp and Millie didn't miss watching his blush start at his toes and work its way up to a glorious climax on his face.
        "I forgot," Luke said, "Fr. Tom was married, wasn't he?"
        "Sure was and the death of his wife devastated him and because of the effect on him, it was also a real blow to those of us who are his parishioners. I don't think he has ever really gotten over it, at least not as David has. I guess some men just can't think about another partner when one is gone. Well, how'd the ensemble like the music?" Millie said as she switched horses.
        "Well, today we just worked on known pieces, that is, I haven't shown them any of Matt's two compositions yet, but they were all very excited and pleased. They knew they were being given an opportunity to really show their stuff, and they appreciated it. Tomorrow we'll be at St. Mary's and I think that will really blow their socks off."
        "Matt, how's the music for Sunday going? You know I put those trumpets in there so even St. Mary's can get a taste of resurrection. Some of the folks have been asleep since last Easter and I want you to raise them from the dead!"
        "Millie, if they forget to buckle their seat belts, you may have to peel them off the ceiling!" I laughed.
        "Larry, I didn't get in touch with you after all the excitement, but I have an engineer who wants to meet you tomorrow afternoon immediately after school. Can you arrange that?"
        "So long as Eugene and I can make our 4:30 appointment."
        "Shouldn't be a problem. Eugene will be at St. Mary's and I'll come out to the school with the engineer. I'll bring you back in time for your appointment. We can pick up Eugene after practice. When is it supposed to be over?"
        "The buses are scheduled to leave St. Mary's at 4:30, but I had planned to leave just before that to make the appointment."
        "Luke, how's your work going?"
        "Great, I think. I'll know more after tomorrow."
        "Do you think you could squeeze a bit of work in for me? I need a design for the posters and program and catalog. Think you might have time to design one? Keep it fairly simple, but definitely distinctive."
        "I'll try to have you something by the weekend."
        "Great. Well, looks like we're going to have some busy kids the next few weeks."
        "Sure does," Eugene acknowledged. "But it keeps us off the streets."
        "Anything else we need to talk about guys?"
        We all shook our heads and Luke said, "Guess not. Larry do you want us to drop you off?"
        "No. It's not a long walk home and I think Eugene and I need to have some time to talk about last night and today."
        "Later, guys, Millie," I said, and Michael and Luke echoed, "Later."
        "Michael a priest. Father Michael. Father Andrews. Sounds kinda natural, don't you think, Luke?"
        "Sure does, but I think maybe Brother Michael sounds better, you know, a member of a religious order--poverty, obedience and CHASTITY," Luke laughed.
        "Poverty I know about--you've seen Dad give me my allowance. Obedience I know about--Mary Kathryn is my woman. Chastity--you better believe it, otherwise Mary Kathryn would use a squirrel grip on me--grab the nuts and run. But when the church talks about chastity, it really means celibacy and, I'm telling you, that will never be a part of my working vocabulary!"
        "Father Michael--I think it really sounds right."
        "Luke, I don't mind us kidding around among ourselves. Hell, we've known enough on each other to be hauled off to jail, but please don't say anything like that at school. Even if I had even thought about the idea--and believe me I haven't--I would never want it known at school. The kids would make my life hell."
        "Gotcha, Michael, and you're right. But you want to know a secret? I bet you can't not think about it occasionally from now on."
        I guess that left us all thinking because the few remaining miles home were spent in silence. When we reached my place, I kissed Luke goodnight--man, I was glad I could kiss again because Luke is SO kissable!
        Sometime during the night I dreamed Luke and I were having our commitment ceremony and when I took my eyes off Luke and looked at the priest, it was Michael in full vestments. When I looked around, Mary Kathryn was breast feeding a baby who looked exactly like Michael. In my dream, I turned to Luke and said, "I will" and he smiled a Luke Hans Yonghon Tongmu Larsen smile and my world was complete.
                                                
Part Twenty-three

Luke

        Tuesday night after the celebration, I had worked very hard and late. It was 12:15 by the time I had everything I needed to take to Lexington packed in crates and ready to go.  I had mentioned earlier that the packages were going to be pretty heavy, but more than that, awkward to handle. David and Michael told me to call them when I was ready to load the Jeep, but I hesitated to do so since it was so late. Yet when I tried to get one of the crates in the Jeep and realized I was running a real risk of damaging the contents, I went inside.
        When I reached the den it was obvious that Michael and David were deeply involved in conversation and I turned to leave, not wanting to interrupt them. David saw me and called out, "Luke, come on in. While we were waiting, Michael and I got involved pretty deeply in a conversation, something we haven't done in awhile."
        "Well, I sure hate to disturb you."
        "It's ok. Maybe after we get the Jeep loaded, you'd like to join us for some milk and cookies before going to bed."
        We quickly loaded the three crates I had packed, and secured them in the Jeep. "It's not supposed to rain tonight, but don't you think you might better put the Jeep in the garage just in case? I know it has the sides and all, but rain may get to the crates if the wind gets up."
        "I don't think rain could damage the contents but you're right, better safe than sorry," I responded.
        "I'll move my van."
        When David pulled the van out, I moved the Jeep into the garage and, when everything was secure, went into the house with David and Michael. Michael and I seated ourselves around the dining room table and David brought a plate of cookies Margaret had made earlier, and glasses of cold milk for all three of us.  "Michael and I have been talking about a potential problem he faces; at least he assures me it is potential and not actual at this time."
        "Luke, if you so much as breathe a word of this to Mary Kathryn I'll be forced to kill you! Dad and I have been talking about Mary Kathryn and me becoming sexually active--Man, that sounds so clinical! You know, making love all the way. Anyway, what do you think?"
        "Michael, first of all, you're talking about having sex with my baby sister so I don't think I'm the most objective guy in the world on that score. Do you really expect me to be unbiased?"
        "Hell yes I do! I expect you to be as objective as if we were talking about Linda Randolph. If you can't be, I don't see how you can be of help to me and, therefore, Mary Kathryn."
        "You might expect that and it might be a good idea, but I'm not sure I can measure up to your expectations. What do you think about the situation?"
        "Well, I don't know. No, that's not true. I think two different things which don't seem to go together. That's why I asked Dad in the first place. On the one hand, I can't even imagine ever loving anyone other than Mary Kathryn. She's my very life right now and I don't believe I could live without her and her love. On the other hand, I'm realistic enough to know that I'm not even sixteen yet. I have two more years in high school and at least four years of college before I could expect to settle down. In that length of time I could fall in and out of love a dozen times, I guess. So one part of me says I am in love with the only woman I will ever love and therefore we should express our love for each other in every possible way. Now don't get me wrong, you and Matt have made it very clear to me that having sex is only one way of making love, but I certainly think it is an important one and think you and Matt would agree. Anyway, from that perspective, why not have sex?"
        "Yet what I feel for Mary Kathryn now goes way beyond lust and sex. She's my very best friend in the whole world. I think if I had to choose between having her for a friend forever and having her as a lover... well, I guess it sounds strange, but I think I'd be forced to choose having her as a friend. But if we start having sex and our relationship as lovers turns sour, that friendship will also be destroyed."
        "But even if we don't have sex and our relationship as lovers turns sour, could our friendship survive? I kinda doubt it."
        "I think, maybe, you can appreciate now why I jumped off the falls. It wasn't just that I was in love with Matt, but also because I feared that if I told him our friendship would be destroyed. Also, in our case--my case--I feared that even if I didn't tell him, someone would find out and take it out on Matt. But most of all I felt I knew we would never be lovers--a problem you and Wild Woman do not have--and our friendship would be destroyed. With you and Mary Kathryn it's different. Maybe your love for each other won't last; to tell the truth, the odds are against it. But, come to think of it, the odds are very much--more than with you and Mary Kathryn in fact--against Matt and I being together until death do us part, but I can't imagine our ever being separated because we no longer loved each other."
        "My feelings exactly. On the one hand there's the impossibility of Mary Kathryn and me not being in love and on the other the statistics. So what do we do?"
        "Luke, I have already told Michael that he and Mary Kathryn must talk to each other about their feelings, their fears, their hopes and dreams. That just has to be or they may as well chuck the whole thing now."
        "Another thing you must do is to continue to play together, to do friendship things. Matt and I are so busy right now that we get very little time to be friends and the time we have, we spend as lovers--I don't mean having sex, we're still keeping that promise we made to ourselves--but we have done very few friend things. I fear what will happen if we don't make time to do friend things. Beyond that, all I can say is that you can never go back to where you were before you confessed your love for each other. There is no road back and that is doubly true once you start having sex; not that I have any experience there, but I suspect your dad would agree with me."